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Stop chasing happiness and seek fulfillment instead

Strive shakes up everything you know about happiness, turns you around, and sets you on the track to true fulfillment. It's not what you think—happiness is not found in achievement and luxury and having all the free time in the world. Humans are most fulfilled and feel best about themselves when they are striving towards a difficult goal that involves struggle and discomfort.

 Dr. Adam Fraser is a peak performance researcher who helps people strive for ’better’ in everything that they do; in this book, he shares his insights into the human condition and why happiness always feels just out of reach. Whether you're looking to boost workplace productivity, or just need the motivation to go about your daily life, this book will show you the little-known truths about happiness, purpose, and fulfillment.

In working with groups from all around the world, Dr. Fraser has observed that the unhappiest and most unfulfilled people have low levels of struggle and challenge. Too much comfort robs them of a sense of purpose; they have nothing to strive for, because everything is fine the way it is. This book takes you inside the root of human motivation to show you how to live and work toward fulfillment.

  • Grow and evolve through embracing discomfort
  • Reframe struggle as an opportunity for development
  • Learn the three behaviours of striving effectively
  • Discover your motivation—and use it
  • Learn why you are most proud of overcoming the hard things in life

When you're working toward a goal, you are engaged, motivated, and ready to take on the world. Once you achieve your goal, your happiness plummets—because nothing is left to strive for—unless you set your next goal right away. Strive provides the roadmap, and shows you how the joy is in the striving—not the destination.

Table of Contents

  1. Cover
  2. About the author
  3. Acknowledgements
  4. Foreword
  5. Introduction Why you don't want all your dreams to come true
  6. Chapter 1 Could everyone please shut up about happiness?
    1. We want happiness to be our constant state
    2. We feel guilty for experiencing and expressing negative emotion
    3. Seeking happiness stops us from evolving
    4. A new lens to look at happiness through
    5. Summary
  7. Chapter 2 The completion myth
    1. Seeking versus finding
    2. The hedonic treadmill is not found at the gym
    3. The dangers of the completion myth
    4. Avoiding the completion myth trap
    5. Summary
  8. Chapter 3 Easy sucks
    1. We won’t sit with discomfort
    2. Fearing discomfort stops us evolving
    3. What are you most proud of?
    4. Rich kids and welfare kids are the same
    5. The comfort of the rich and famous
    6. The scourge of boredom
    7. Looking towards retirement
    8. How does Easy Street look now?
    9. Summary
  9. Chapter 4 What allows us to strive
    1. The benefit of being courageous
    2. Focusing on evolution lights us up
    3. Stress zone or strive zone?
    4. Striving improves the quality of our goals
    5. What striving is not
    6. Summary
  10. Chapter 5 The dangers of avoiding the struggle
    1. When I was a kid …
    2. We bubble wrap play
    3. Don’t say the F word: Failure
    4. Summary
  11. Chapter 6 The gift of struggle
    1. Understanding the four types of struggle
    2. We love leaders who push us into growth-centric struggle
    3. Struggling to find your mojo?
    4. Getting your arse kicked makes you better
    5. Summary
  12. Chapter 7 Making struggle your friend
    1. Struggle = development
    2. Embracing struggle helps us be a better leader
    3. Do it for your heart’s sake
    4. Summary
  13. Chapter 8 Striving effectively: foreground behaviours
    1. Seeing struggle as development
    2. Foreground behaviour #1: Accepting the struggle sucks, and being okay with your reaction
    3. Foreground behaviour #2: Connecting to meaning and purpose
    4. Foreground behaviour #3: Marvelling at your own courage
    5. Applying the strive process to real situations
    6. Summary
  14. Chapter 9 Striving effectively: background behaviours
    1. Have a clear mental focus
    2. Be grateful, God damn it!!
    3. Connect with others: high struggle needs high support
    4. Take time to recover
    5. Celebrate your victories
    6. Summary
  15. Chapter 10 The future of work
    1. Broad themes in the future of work
    2. Struggle and strive in the future
    3. Summary
  16. Chapter 11 Helping others strive
    1. Supporting others in their strive
    2. Improving psychological safety
    3. Summary
  17. Conclusion
  18. Index
  19. End User License Agreement
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