facebook + alcohol posts = problem drinkers

Here's the Problem

Research from a 2011 study published in the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine found that kids who posted photos on Facebook of themselves deep into “partying mode” or who commented on how “trashed” they were were four times as likely to be problem drinkers compared with other kids who didn't comment on their alcohol or drug use on the site.

One positive outcome of monitoring your teen's social networking sites, especially Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, is that you get a “fly on the wall” perspective of your teen's interactions with friends. These postings are a valuable opportunity to get a handle on your teen's emotional well-being. When you see your teen posting regularly about “partying,” as in the study above, or about anger at the world, like one of the Boston Marathon bombers, or maybe about feelings of sadness and hopelessness, you should know that these are red flags.

Why It's a Problem

Teens who start drinking heavily in high school have a much higher likelihood of abusing alcohol and drugs as an adult. Perhaps your teen has been a savvy drinker and has developed good alcohol-masking techniques. Maybe you're asleep when he comes in at night so you never actually see him drunk. Maybe she covers her alcohol breath with mints and gum to avoid detection. Maybe there are regular weekend sleepovers at a friend's house where there is little parental supervision and the kids can get drunk with complete abandon. If this is the case, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram may be your only window into your teen's “outside” life. It's important for parents to recognize the difference between casual drug or alcohol use and problem drinking or drug abuse so that intervention can begin as early as possible. Your teen may be having problems with alcohol and drugs, excessive anger, or depression. Undetected, these problems can grow into a scary and dangerous future. If you don't know, you can't help.

Here's the Solution

Monitor your teen's Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram postings. Rather than just paying attention to the language they use, like the profanity and the sexually provocative, observe the subtext. This means going past the “gross-out” and getting to the gut. Is your teen posting regularly about his partying “prowess” or sexual conquests? Does he talk too much about hating this world and the people in it? If so, it's time for a conversation: “I recently checked out your Facebook posts and noticed that you talk a lot about partying (or hating the world). That really worries me. I get that kids like to party and talk about it, but your posting goes way past that. You talk about it much more than any of your friends. This recent study has found a relationship between posting and problems.”

Your teen will not like this conversation. He will deny, minimize, and be furious with you. You have to work really hard not to get defensive. The issue is not that he posted this on Facebook. The issue is that you are worried about his safety. You must separate these two very, very different issues. The first issue requires you to provide consequences for inappropriate posting. The second requires you to seek treatment for your teen.