‘When two people meet and make eye contact, they find themselves in an immediate state of conflict. They want to look at each other and at the same time they want to look away. The result is a complicated series of eye movements, back and forth.’

Desmond Morris

We’re going to concentrate on the face and eyes in this lesson because it forms the centre of our non-verbal communication. The face is second only to the eyes, in body language terms, in revealing information about us. But our facial expressions are, for the most part, under our control. It’s quite easy to change the face to reflect any emotion. If you want to look happy, even though you’re feeling gloomy, you can put on another ‘face’.

It’s harder to control our gestures and vocal inflections – there’s more chance of non-verbal ‘leakage’.

People tend to believe what your face tells them rather than the words that they hear. The focal point of the face is the eyes. They reveal the most information, followed by your facial expressions. So, no matter what subterfuge you get up to in order to try to conceal your true feelings, a momentary grimace, narrowing of the eyes or a raised eyebrow can blow your cover.

We communicate more with our eyes than with any other part of our anatomy. In fact, I can see impatience in the eyes of a number of you as they glaze over – you’re anxious to get on with the Lesson. You, of course, could sense how I’m feeling too, from my eyes. Communication is two-way traffic.

In film and television you’ve probably been struck by how telling or powerful a particular scene proved to be by virtue of the ‘expression’ in the person’s eyes. The great director Alfred Hitchcock said, when discussing the impact of dialogue and body language in his films:

Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds, just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms.

Eye contact

Eye contact is one of the non-verbal ways to:

• express liking/intimacy and show how the relationship is progressing (we look more at people we like than those we dislike)
• exercise control (for example, we may increase eye contact when we’re trying to hammer home a point or be persuasive)
• regulate interaction (the eyes are used to direct the ‘momentum’ of a conversation, after having initiated it in the first place)
• provide mood and character information (such as attentiveness, competence, credibility, liking – as well as disengagement).

It makes you wonder how we ever manage to communicate with e-mail and telephone, doesn’t it ?

The mirror to the soul

Leonardo da Vinci referred to eyes as ‘the mirror to the soul’. Experts are still trying to work out what the enigmatic Mona Lisa is conveying with those eyes, but in our own everyday interactions we can perform the task much more easily. If you think about it, when we converse with people we spend most of the time looking at their faces, and so the eyes play a vital part in revealing inner thoughts and emotional state.

Eye contact plays a big part in striking rapport with people and establishing trust. Lack of it can seriously hinder your message – as well as preventing you from using this important body language signal to gauge a speaker’s sincerity.

At a basic level we tend to look in the direction of what is of interest to us (be it a person or object) and look away when it’s of little or no interest. From that premise we’re provided with an initial clue to our own and other people’s feelings.

There is no question that eye contact plays a significant role in being able to read other people because it is the behavioural trait that we notice immediately. When the appropriate eye contact is displayed we find a person to be – initially at least – trustworthy.

Eye behaviour

The term ‘gaze behaviour’ is used when studying the psychology behind eye movements and how appropriate the activity is in various situations. We know that in a normal conversation eye contact tends to be intermittent. So let’s look at the behaviour we adopt in our culture when we’re conversing with people. Any deviation from this may hinder trust and liking and may make us feel uneasy.

The eyes are so powerful that a gaze held for just a few seconds longer than the ‘norm’ can give out an extremely powerful signal.

• A speaker will look away from time to time and then go back to eye contact to make sure the person is still listening (and that they haven’t fled the scene!) and to check from their eyes that they are still interested and understand the gist of what is being said.
• A listener displays that they are interested in a conversation by looking at the person much more frequently.
• If confused about something that has been said or if they disagree with it, or when distracted or just bored by the encounter, the listener will make minimal eye contact.
• If the listener is looking away all the time then something serious has occurred – a complete breakdown of attention.

In a normal conversation there is a ‘dance’ of gaze shifts:

• I start my conversation and glance towards you.
• When the momentum of my words takes hold, I look away.
• As I come to the end of that particular point, I glance back again to check the impact of my statement.
• You, as the listener, have been watching me and are now ready to take over as speaker, so you in turn begin your conversation, look away and then return to check the impact of your words ...

So, in a typical interaction, this is a common pattern with the eyes going back and forth to check the listener’s reactions to your words – you’re watching their body language and they’re watching yours (as well as making sense of the words).

For some of us, eye contact seems to be a difficult thing to come to terms with. Given that in the western world it is so important in establishing trust, lack of it can severely hinder your progress with others. Think about how you feel when you’re dealing with somebody who averts their eyes when they’re speaking to you. (Of course, we’ve all at some stage – or regularly – avoided eye contact with someone, as we pass them in the street or in a store perhaps, because we didn’t want to talk to them.)

Where to look

Many people feel uncomfortable with eye contact and are not as good as they could be because they – for whatever reason – find it difficult to know which area of a person’s face (or body) to look at. Experiments have been conducted on three levels and it’s culturally accepted that these are what can be classified as ‘normal’ behaviour.

1. Broadly, in say a situation with strangers – including business – the ideal gaze is achieved by imagining a triangle on the other person’s forehead with the two corners of the base coinciding with each eye. Don’t allow the gaze to fall below the other person’s eyes. What happens is that the act of lowering your gaze takes it closer to the social level (see below) and so alters the formality or seriousness of the discussion. Of course, if you reach a perceived level that enables you to (and because you want to) make it a more friendly encounter, then this is permissible.
2. On a social level, the gaze falls below the other person’s eye level and is best described as the triangular area between the eyes and the mouth.

   

3. On an intimate level, when men and women want to show that they are interested, the gaze traverses the eyes and goes below the chin to other parts of the body, say down to the neck in the case of a man looking at a woman. Usually at this level it is a discreet scan downwards before quickly returning to the eyes. But it’s long enough to know that interest is there. So you’ll find that both men and women will use this gaze when flirting – and if the other person is interested they’ll return the gaze.

So, train yourself to engage better with people and make eye contact at appropriate times so that you ‘dance’ with the rhythm of the conversation.

Oh, and just watch how much more you find yourself engaging with people and how their body language changes towards you. Keep intermittent eye contact for the right length of time, otherwise it descends into a stare.

Staring can make people uncomfortable and completely distort the ‘message’. What is amazing is how many people do not realise that they have a habit of staring – they’re probably never told about it and carry on in blissful ignorance. You may know these people socially or at work, or they may be acquaintances or, of course, strangers that you come into contact with. They make you feel uneasy.

So we assign them honorary membership of the – ever-growing – ‘I don’t know – there’s something I don’t quite like about him ...’ club.

The ‘dance’ of gaze behaviour

So, of course, we’re saying that eye contact is essential when speaking to people, but it will interest you to know – and I say that because it has probably, up until now, never occurred to you – that the speaker looks away more than the person who is listening.

Is that right? You’ve probably never thought about it even though you’ve been interacting with other people for years. You simply haven’t noticed. (Just like you’ve never noticed which way the Queen’s head faces on a £1 coin; or which way the pips face when you cut open an apple. Anybody know?)

So what’s this all about? We’re telling you to look at people when you speak to them and now we’re asking you to disengage eye contact. Well, the reason is that – delicate things that we human beings are – we find too much gazing uncomfortable. If you use too little of it you give the wrong impression – nervous, untrustworthy. Use too much and you could appear aggressive or ‘weird’. So you’ll see from the figures below that the accomplished speaker, with high emotional intelligence – or empathy, to put it another way – will spend on average around half the time or slightly less making intermittent eye contact.

We look away to concentrate on our thought processes and be free from the visual distraction of the person with whom we’re communicating. People who think that this is a sign of rejection or rudeness have not appreciated the frailties of the human condition somewhere along the line. We look away to ‘give space’ to the person to whom we are talking and it gives us fewer sensory stimuli to deal with. In addition, it’s within the realms of a polite gaze without descending into a stare. Of course, if you spend your time alternating between looking at a person and scanning around the room, it can give the impression of boredom or disinterest.

Effective eye contact is also used to enable you to indicate to the listener when you’re about to finish. If you observe people in conversation you’ll see that subconsciously they’ll make brief eye contact with the listener as a signal to indicate that it’s their turn to speak.

What’s also interesting is observing people who are waiting to speak, but perhaps can’t get into the conversation because of a verbose speaker or someone who lacks empathy and can’t read the subtle body language signals that the listener is giving out. The listener will look away – breaking eye contact. They may also make a gesture and inhale deeply, fill their lungs and start talking.

• Research shows that during a typical interaction a skilled speaker looks at the listener for 45–60 per cent of the conversation.
• The listener’s gaze behaviour amounts to 70–80 per cent.
• Around 30 per cent of time is spent on what is termed ‘mutual gazing’.
• The length of time that someone holds our gaze is also pertinent. The average length of time for a gaze is 2.95 seconds; the average ‘mutual gaze’ lasts 1.8 seconds.

It’s probably clear to you now that when we experience that intuitive feeling or gut reaction about ‘discomfort’ when dealing with someone, it is quite often related to the amount of eye contact or the length of time that they hold our gaze when speaking. The socially acceptable gaze differs from a stare.

As to their intentions, we have to look for other body language clues to support a reason why you think a person is holding your gaze slightly longer. As Desmond Morris said when describing a situation at a party:

The problem is trying to tell whether the person who ‘super-gazes’ you fancies you or actively dislikes you.

So, is the person ‘a mad axeman’ or something more benign? Is there a ‘romance’ in the offing or reinforced steel doors?

All that the eye directions reveal is whether you’re the recipient of slightly more attention or slightly less than the cultural norm. Other non-verbal clues are needed to decipher the signal with more accuracy.

So how much eye contact do you tend to use every day:

• socially
• at work
• in encounters with strangers?

Start analysing it just to reveal things you never knew about your own body language.

What about your work colleagues, your boss, your relatives and friends?

• Are they better than you – or worse?
• Do you find that you make more eye contact with some people than with others?

What about at work? Is it different for:

• subordinates
• equals
• people who are ‘higher up’ than you?

Dominance

We all come across people who make it difficult for us to look them in the eye because they may themselves use excessive eye contact. This disrupts the fine balance or ‘dance’ as we mentioned earlier. Alternatively, they may not use enough. You’ve seen this type – they may spend most of the time looking out of the window or at the carpet and then suddenly cast a glance your way (that’s assuming you haven’t already left the room). You may come across this type at a party or function, or it might just be a dominant individual because of your unequal status at work, for example.

There’s an interesting finding relating to this dominant–subordinate encounter. Trials have been done which show that in most cases when two people of unequal status are in conversation, the ‘dominant’ person likes to show their higher status by doing the reverse of the normal looking – listening – talking dance that we’ve described. They spend more time looking at the other person while they are talking than they do while they are listening.

Our ‘gaze behaviour’ is largely determined by culture, and we know how long we may look at another person. All the studies show that people with eye movements that can be seen as relaxed and comfortable, but at the same time attentive, come across as sincere, caring and trustworthy.

Eye contact is great for developing trust but it can be done to excess. Use your instinct. What makes you feel uncomfortable? Cultures vary, but in the west too much gazing (staring) is impolite, can be seen as threatening and will alienate people.

Of course we need to maintain eye contact with other people for the simple reason that we have to watch other people’s body language in order to gauge our feelings about them. We also need to see their reactions. Worth repeating again – it’s two-way traffic.

Just a word about cars. What’s that got to do with eye contact? I’d just like to bring up a point about this since many people spend a lot of their time in cars.

In your private or professional life try to avoid conducting difficult or important conversations with the person sitting next to you or behind you in a car. Doesn’t usually work. You need eye contact in a front-on position. (How many scenes of slammed car doors have you witnessed on screen and in real life?)

It’s not overstating it to suggest that the degree and level of effective eye contact, more than anything else, helps in contributing to establishing that magical ‘Holy Grail’ of positive interaction – rapport – a state that exists between people. How can we define this elusive state?

Rapport, like truth, beauty (and contact lenses!) is in the eye of the beholder.

Research on eye direction

We know that as ‘the window to the soul’ we can tell quite a lot about what a person may be thinking from their eyes. There’s been a lot of research analysis to discover if the direction of a person’s eye movements can tell us whether they are accessing and creating thoughts in terms of sounds or pictures or feelings.

What does all this extensive research show? Well, imagine you’re in a conversation with somebody and while they’re talking to you or listening to you, the following eye activity goes on. You’ve seen it all the time and you do it all the time (no doubt subconsciously). These are the findings:

• If a person’s eyes move to the right and also down then they’re trying to access feelings.
• If the eyes move to the left and down then they’re talking to themselves.
• If the eyes move upwards and to the left then they’re trying to visualise something that happened before.
• If the eyes move upwards and to the right then they’re trying to imagine something.
• If the eyes just move across to the left then they’re trying to remember sounds.
• If the eyes move across to the right then they’re trying to reconstruct sounds.

Blinking

What do we know about blinking and what can it tell us? We blink at an average rate of 8–15 times per minute (depending on the situational aspect). From a physiological viewpoint we’re designed to blink so that the cornea is well lubricated. If you’re in front of your computer staring at the screen or watching TV you’ll have a variable blink rate because of concentration. So abnormal blink activity is usually associated with discomfort of some sort.

Keep an eye out (excuse me again!) for a person’s change from normal blinking rate to rapid movements – perhaps 30–40 times a minute – because this indicates anxiety of some sort. People put under sudden pressure will exhibit rapid blinking, and equally a person who may be lying will display this along with other telltale gestures. When a person returns to their normal state, the blink rate slows down accordingly.

You’ll notice that some people actually flutter their eyelids if they’re struggling to explain a point, or are embarrassed about something, or as a response to something they’ve heard that they’re not happy about. That’s usually due to discomfort arising from:

• their own actions
• their inability to express a point at that moment
• something they’ve heard.

It’s almost folklore now, but you may have heard or remember former US President Bill Clinton’s performance before the Grand Jury and his blinking rate while under extreme pressure. It should be stressed again that on its own excessive blinking merely tells us about discomfort being experienced by the individual. Because the action of lying or merely being questioned about something are both stressful instances they may cause a higher rate of blinking.

In the main, the pointers relating to blinking display a range of behaviours linked to nervousness or anxiety about lying; or even a feeling of superiority over the other person.

You’ll often see on television (political interviews, for example), or in real-life instances in and outside of work, that a person who feels themselves to be in a superior position to another will blink slightly slower than the normal rate you observe.

Think back, now that you’re aware of this subtle gesture. Can you recall in your mind’s eye somebody doing this? Try to picture it. The slower than normal blink means the eyes are closed for longer than they would be. Blocking you out of the picture for longer than normal. (The snooty shop assistant, doctor’s receptionist, newly promoted boss – coming back to you now?)

You’ll often observe this where the person in question has some kind of ‘power’ over you. This power may often be magnified in their own mind and be completely distorted or unwarranted, but it makes them feel good (and makes up for their lousy salary). The person is blocking you out of their sight for longer than normal with a slow blink. Is their head going backwards too? Mmm ... that’s handy – they can look down on you as well (that’s your cluster identified!).

On the other side of the coin you need to be aware of the situation in which a person’s normal blink rate reduces, so that they’re blinking less than normal. You see this at conferences, in the classroom, during lectures and public meetings and in general conversation. It can be due to boredom, disagreement with what’s being said or general hostility – the glazed eyes of listeners who want to escape, exhibit infrequent blink activity. The astute speaker picks up on the negative body language and changes tack or does something to get the audience interested again.

But, as with everything to do with body language, we’re looking for supporting gestures – a cluster, remember – to evaluate; not just one activity in isolation. A person who is concentrating and is really interested may be holding good eye contact, with less blinking, because they’re enamoured with you and/or what you’re saying. This is a positive sign so always check for other cues.

Cut-off eye activity

Some people display a tendency to close their eyes while speaking. It may be a general habit or happen only when they’re answering a question. The former MP Anne Widdecombe used to spend a lot of time speaking with her eyes closed (she’s improved a lot recently). The eyes will close for a blink but remain closed for a few seconds before opening again. The process is repeated throughout a conversation.

Do you know anybody who does this? Is it endearing or annoying? Margaret Thatcher was prone to this eye activity in the early stages of her reign as prime minister, but latterly the image advisers moved in and she almost totally eliminated it from her interviews. In many cases it’s the body effectively ‘shutting up shop’ to block an unpleasant encounter or pressurised situation that the person is under.

In other cases it’s simply a person’s way of blocking out other sensory activity in order to concentrate fully on their own thoughts. But the important point is that to the listener it can be irritating and send the wrong message – whether it’s done for adverse reasons or purely as a mannerism.

Again, look for supporting cues to ascertain the emotional state of the person (clusters). If other gestures show irritation, you can be sure that this is another subconscious signal that gives you some idea of the person’s negative state. If it’s done in isolation, with no other clues, it’s probably just a mannerism (but nonetheless irritating to you!).

Eye dip

Just as some people will perform a variation on the theme of normal blinking, by closing their eyes for a few seconds repeatedly, we’ll often show our desire for disengagement by dipping the eyes in a downward direction. We’ll do it sometimes to break off from a conversation when the going gets tough. Other times we’ll do it as a signal to indicate that by breaking any kind of eye contact, the other person can take momentary control and try to haul us back into the conversation. Sometimes, you ask a person a question that they’re reluctant to answer and they may dip their head and stare down towards the floor. This is often referred to as an eye dip.

This brings to mind Hannibal Lecter in his prison cell, addressing a probing question – in his inimitable way – to a disturbed Clarice Starling as she averts her gaze and looks down towards the floor:

I’m sure you won’t find the answer by looking at your second-rate shoes, Clarice.

The Silence of the Lambs

Charmer as always. Never mind – pass the Chianti!

Eye shuttle

Another common eye movement is where you see somebody rapidly moving their eyes from side to side. The head remains still – it’s just the eyes that move (reminiscent of Benny Hill in a scene with scantily clad women!). This is commonly known as an eye shuttle. It’s essentially a ‘flight’ response. You may have seen it with a builder perhaps, when you’re questioning them as they’re about to leave – cheque in hand – as to whether there’s any kind of guarantee; or an acquaintance you’ve buttonholed after recognising them at a conference.

The darting eyes are scanning for an exit or some kind of help (as well as betraying nervousness or discomfort of some sort) – they just want to flee the scene. It doesn’t give a very good impression to the person witnessing the activity. But it can be another telltale sign.

These ‘cut-offs’ are sent out to us subconsciously and, as with much other body language communication, are picked up by us in the same manner. But it leaves us in a situation in which our irritation can result in us displaying and sending negative body language back to the sender. Just to reiterate again, it’s two-way traffic – I interpret your body signals (correctly or incorrectly) and respond to you with my own, based on my interpretation. Is it any wonder that so much miscommunication occurs?

The person with the ‘irritating’ habit or mannerism (let’s call her A) sends out vibes to the other person (let’s call him B) which he interprets in an unfavourable way. So he, in turn, because of his irritation with her, reflects back negative body language signals to A. She picks up these negative body signals and therefore becomes irritated with B. Breakdown! Because it’s all about perception.

You can imagine a parallel conversation which A and B have with a friend later:

Doesn’t it just show the two-way nature of non-verbal communication? Cause and effect. And, as we’ve said before, most of it is done in silence.

If we’re interpreting cut-offs as a negative signal that relates to us personally (you think, for example, they dislike you or think you could ‘bore for Britain’) and we’re wrong – because we haven’t taken account of context or looked for clusters – then there’s been miscommunication. The signals that were picked up could simply have been as a result of the person being in a state of ‘overload’ and just wanting to reduce their ‘sensory’ input and concentration, even for brief moments. Some people need to block out visual noise in order to concentrate clearly.

In some cases perhaps it’s just down to nervous mannerisms. However, in an ideal world such people need to be aware of what effect they’re having on others – that’s key. In other words, a knowledge of body language!

Widening and narrowing

Another eye activity that we all engage in from time to time is a narrowing of the eyes. What does it mean? It usually indicates some kind of disapproval of something or a sign to show dominance, and has been likened to the effect of looking through a visor. It accompanies a lowering of the eyebrows and so can often be mistaken for a sign of anger. These evaluations may or may not be correct.

Notice that some people adopt this expression when concentrating intently, reading something, a report perhaps. Prior to this, for example, their demeanour and open body language may have been quite amicable. You could be tricked into thinking that the contents of the document or report are causing unease, anger or disapproval in the reader. But at the end of reading it, the comment may be, ‘Yes, that’s good – well done.’ What’s that all about?

This person, with a particular personality type, obviously adopts a pensive or menacing look while concentrating intently on something. The face becomes set in an expression of studied concentration. Think Basil Rathbone (Sherlock Holmes) studying a document forensically, an exasperated Dr Watson at his side.

The disapproving person, by contrast, employs these subtle uncontrollable signals as they read items in the document that cause them concern or annoyance. The outward signals look the same in both cases. One is a consequence of personality type and the person’s intenseness towards situations, and the other is a bodily reaction that betrays a certain facial expression around the eye area. So, as always, look at the ‘whole’ person before making snap judgements.

Have you noticed that when you want to show signs of incredulity or innocence, or want to show that you’re paying attention and are really interested (especially women), you’ll open your eyes wide, at the same time raising your eyebrows? We know that large eyes are appealing – look at your feelings for tiny, helpless babies with their large eyes. Men will often, in surveys, cite women’s eyes as the thing that they first noticed about ‘her’ (contrary to popular opinion!). So raised eyebrows and eyelids help rapport.

Facial expressions

As Norma Desmond sang in Sunset Boulevard, your look can speak volumes. In body language terms the face is the most expressive part of the anatomy; as in any interaction it is the first port of call – we naturally look at the face. Our words are supplemented by our facial expressions. We give out more signals with our face than with any other part of the body, as you would expect with 22 muscles coming into play on each side of the face.

A person’s face will tell us that the person may, for example, be angry. Other body language will then tell us what those angry feelings are making the person do. Are they waving their arms or are they trying to repress these feelings and displaying tense movements such as rapid finger tapping?

We discussed eyes earlier and we know that they can be particularly effective at conveying messages – women especially can say a lot just with their eyes. Think Dame Judi Dench and her priceless laser-like stare in BBC’s As Time Goes By (usually directed at long-suffering Geoffrey Palmer) and also frequently deployed to a chastened James Bond in her portrayal of M in the 007 films.

We know what eye movements can convey and this, combined with the facial muscles and nose, lips, mouth and jaw, reveals a lot. People tend to believe what the face tells them rather than any words that are uttered. If we say we’re suffering from ‘the blues’, you’d expect our face to have a downcast expression. If we say we’re angry about something or someone, you’d expect to see an accompanying expression. Equally, if we tell somebody that we dislike them intensely with a broad grin on our face – the face would be believed. In this situation there is a mismatch (or lack of ‘congruence’) and so we’ll believe not the words but the ‘visual’. (Remember your 55, 38, 7.)

Much research has been done on the face. It was Charles Darwin’s research that highlighted the importance of studying facial expressions and the face’s display of a variety of emotions. It is universally accepted that, across cultures, there are six easily identifiable emotions:

• Happiness
• Sadness
• Surprise
• Disgust
• Fear
• Anger.

Take a look around you when you’re next in the company of many people. On a train, shopping mall, walking in the street. Be aware of the different facial expressions that people are exhibiting at any one time. Practice makes perfect. You’ll subconsciously pick up and store a whole collection of facial mannerisms which you’ll draw on when you’re exercising that wonderful thing that we call ‘intuition’.

If you had to describe in one word what a person’s face reveals, what would you say? In public places see if their facial expressions are ‘congruent’ or if there is a mismatch with what the rest of the body is displaying.

Talking of congruence – just an aside – I recently saw a promotional video of a new airport terminal in which there were lots of people standing in a queue and smiling. What’s going on there? I’ve never ever seen anybody at an airport with a smile on their face, have you!?

Practise your mind- and body-reading skills and try to work out people’s ‘inner voice’ activity (when their own thoughts relating to their own dialogue are producing the changes in expression). Also try to identify those related to ‘environmental’ activity – on a train, for example, when somebody boards and reduces another person’s elbow or leg room.

What about you? How many of the six universally identifable emotions have you experienced in the last couple of weeks? And, of course, while you were at work, home or out, you managed to ‘mask’ most of those feelings successfully, without anybody in your presence knowing – is that right? In all fairness – probably not. Much of your own ‘leakage’ is not even picked up by you, especially your below-the-waist activity. Luckily for you, only the empathic individuals you came into contact with saw through the mask.

Smile and the whole world ...

It’s worth mentioning at this stage the name of an influential US psychologist, Paul Ekman, who has conducted extensive research over the past three decades into facial expressions. Just as scientists were able to map the human genome eventually, he, along with his colleague Wallace Friesen, has effectively mapped all the expressions that we’re able to produce and what they mean. They’ve provided us with a better idea of which facial muscles produce which expression. As a by-product of this, it’s also given us more insight into the activity of lying (we’ll be looking at this in more detail in Lesson 5).

Interesting research by Ekman and Friesen in 1982 on the six identifiable emotions revealed the following results from people who took part in the research. When asked to gauge:

• happiness – there was 100 per cent recognition
• sadness – about 80 per cent recognition
• surprise – this proved difficult to identify because of its transience
• disgust – about 80 per cent recognition
• fear – about 80 per cent recognition
• anger – about 80 per cent recognition.

However, it should be said that when these tests are conducted they’re usually based on simulated posed expressions. When trying to evaluate genuine spontaneous expressions the figures come out at levels that are just above chance. In daily life we’re more used to exhibiting two ‘shorthand’ facial expressions – the two relating to happiness and sadness:

• smiling
• an expression that relates to feeling downcast or miserable.

Both are easy to recognise as the research shows.

Take happiness – it’s the only positive emotion. As the statistics above show, without exception we seem to be hardwired to recognise when another person is in a positive frame of mind. When it comes to smiling, much research has been done in this area. It’s of particular fascination to psychologists and neuroscientists because it is a frequent device for ‘masking’, along with the straight face.

Smiling is generally considered to be the easiest expression that we are able to display – almost a turn-on and turn-off display. And don’t some people – like politicians in interviews or around election time if there’s a handy, photogenic baby around – prove this to us?

The reason why so much research has been done on the subject is because when we’re in contact with other people a smile, as you already know, impacts on other people’s attitudes towards us and encourages positive interaction. Smile and the whole world smiles with you, as the saying goes.

The effects of a smile

Think how strongly you’re influenced by people who smile – those in your social life, your working life, when you interact with strangers. Do you go back to shops because you’re influenced by a smiling face? Do you avoid places because subconsciously you pick up the lack of a cheery demeanour from the staff?

Maybe you go to restaurants because of the management and waiters with their positive, friendly attitude, in favour of another one that actually serves better food. You just feel more comfortable in the former restaurant.

Types of smile

There are two kinds of smile – the real (or felt) and the false. It’s something that everybody displays – it’s an innate facial activity that we engage in when we’re happy.

We could add to that a subdivision of the false smile – the kind of smile that we put on when we’re actually unhappy (‘put on a happy face’ as the song tells us). We all engage in this at some time or other and a person with good empathy skills would be able to pick this up. You’re smiling through some kind of adversity or disappointment and to reveal your feelings would involve explanation, embarrassment or prolonged interaction with the person.

The vocal inflections (‘Yes, I’m fine, thanks’) should give some clues, as would the fact that with this kind of smile the corners of the mouth tend to go sideways rather than upwards. The eyes, in addition, would show no happiness in them and there is an absence of any wrinkling around them.

Let’s just go back to the mid-1800s for an interesting ‘time travel’ experience. You may recall the term ‘Duchenne smile’. Mean anything to you? OK – for those who are not familiar with the name, it refers to an interesting French neurophysiologist Guillaume Duchenne de Boulogne. Duchenne was interested in the muscles of the human face and also intrigued by the fact that we would often smile when feeling miserable because we were able to do so.

So we could go around pretending to be happy, which meant that we were walking around with fake smiles, and so when interacting with other people we were able to deceive them. (But, quid pro quo, they were doing the same to us.)

Duchenne’s task was to differentiate the genuine smile from a fake one with his vast knowledge of the musculature of the human face. (Time for the squeamish to look away for a moment.) In his early career he used a volunteer who suffered from palsy for his research, but later he collected the heads of people who had been guillotined and used these to analyse the actions of facial muscles after electronic stimulation, varying the placement of the electrodes across the face.

Duchenne smile

What was Duchenne’s groundbreaking discovery? Two sets of muscles control the smile:

• The zygomatic major muscles – these run down the side of the face and are linked to the corners of the mouth. When you contract these muscles they pull the mouth back, the corners of the mouth in turn are pulled up, possibly exposing the teeth, while at the same time giving the cheeks a pumped up look. They pull the corners of the lips up towards the cheekbone. These muscles that run from the corner of the mouth to the cheekbone are under our conscious control.
• The orbicularis oculi muscles are those around the eyes. Movement results in a narrowing of the eyes as the eyes are pulled back, with the telltale ‘laughter lines’ or crow’s feet appearing, coupled with a slight dipping of the eyebrows. Duchenne’s discovery was that these muscles are not under our control and therefore reflect our true feelings.

So a genuine smile or ‘felt’ smile involves the eyes. As Duchenne put it:

The first (zygomatic) obeys the will but the second (orbicularis oculi) is only put in play by the sweet emotions of the soul.

(Didn’t somebody mention something about eyes and ‘mirror to the soul’ earlier?)

The genuine smile (giving smiling eyes) is thus signified by the facial characteristics above – and there are two other significant pointers:

• a slow onset and decline
• bilateral symmetry in the face.

With the fake (social or masking) smile – giving unsmiling eyes – you tend to get:

• an abrupt onset and decline
• bilateral asymmetry in the face.

Ekman’s follow-on work: the ‘real’ smile and the ‘fake’ smile

Following on from the work of his early predecessor Paul Ekman discovered another aspect of a real smile – with a real smile the movements of the lips (from the zygomatic) are shorter than with the social (fake) smile. In common parlance (as far as body language vernacular goes) we therefore talk about genuine (enjoyment) smiles and fake (or masking) smiles. We now know that when we experience true pleasure or enjoyment, the brain and its physiology combine to produce a smile involving the mouth, cheeks and – crucially – the eyes. Conversely, a smile that just involves the zygomatic – which is under our conscious control – is what is known as a fake smile.

I don’t like to use the term ‘fake’ smile, which many psychologists and other researchers in the field tend to do, because it technically includes social smiles. As we’ve established, in much of life this smile is used as a ‘lubricant’ and denotes the opposite of hostility.

So it’s useful to be aware that within this smile category (which has been given the term ‘fake’) there is the social smile and what we can term the ‘masking smile’. This (masking) smile is used to cover emotion rather than to display it.

For example, we often try to hide a negative emotion of nervousness in a situation with a ‘masking smile’. Quite often you can see what really lies underneath the mask if you attune yourself to pick up the ‘microexpression’ (see below) that occurs when the face relinquishes the masking smile and it fades away. This can be very revealing.

That said, of course it is useful in certain instances to know when this type of smile is masking an underlying concern or antipathy. Ekman continued Duchenne’s work for us and developed, with his colleague Friesen, the Facial Action Coding System (FACS) to measure and identify various combinations of facial movements. As a tribute to Duchenne’s earlier work and Ekman’s subsequent research, a real smile is thus often referred to as a ‘Duchenne smile’.

Microexpressions

The FACS research also introduced us to microexpressions. These are ‘leakages’ that occur in the face for a short duration. Because of the way that humans are ‘wired’, our faces tend to betray our true feelings because our emotions affect our physiology; and the other way round (as we’ll discuss later).

Our face will always leak out what we truthfully feel. Since what we feel – for example, anger or fear – activates certain facial movements, behind a smile there may have been a fleeting microexpression which lasts a matter of seconds, but nonetheless can give away our true feelings, despite the smile.

Our face – as you know only too well – is highly efficient in displaying our inner feelings. In a split second it registers a message after activating the appropriate facial muscles. An opposing message from the brain to hide an expression comes too late and so the true expression leaks out for a second or so, before being cancelled by the counter-expression. Since we try to suppress these lightning expressions in a split second – which typically only sophisticated equipment and playback and freeze-framing would reveal – it takes a really astute and observant person to detect them.

If you are a regular viewer of BBC’s The Apprentice series, you’ll know that they have a ‘post mortem’ programme (The Apprentice: You’re fired!) that features a panel and the ousted candidate. They often show freeze-frames of the candidates and their fleeting microexpressions that reveal their true feelings beneath the ‘mask’. Typically they’d be asked in the boardroom, for example, if the choice of project manager was a ‘good one’. You’ll see that after the nodding and the smiling, a fleeting microexpression appears on the face of one or more of the team, displaying the true emotion felt! Difficult to spot at the time (even for Lord Sugar) but very revealing in the playbacks and freeze-frames.

Put on a ‘happy face’

Of course we’ve instinctively known through all our life’s experiences that some smiles are ‘felt’ and some are ‘masking’ true feelings. We see it in people all the time. How many times have you ‘put on a happy face’ for an occasion when you’ve felt quite the opposite? (In fact, how many times just today?!)

I’m sure you’ve noticed at award ceremonies like the Oscars or BAFTA – those occasions of triumph and tears – the wonderful ‘acting’ that is displayed by disappointed nominees as the results are announced. Painful – and I’m not talking about for the nominees, but for the viewers!

You know what I’m referring to – the broad effusive smiles as the disappointed souls loudly applaud the person who has deprived them of an ornament for the mantelpiece or downstairs loo. Okay, Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow – we understand your point. What’s a girl to do? (Or George Clooney for that matter – guys put on the same ‘performance’.) It’s just that ... now, I might be being unfair, but you get the feeling that if they’d put on a performance like that in the actual film, well ... might they have actually won ... an Oscar or a BAFTA?

You put on this smile as part of your ‘role’, in your social life, with strangers, at work – just about with everybody you meet.

We don’t go around trying to evaluate whether this sort of smile is genuine or not. In most cases it doesn’t matter. It’s a social ‘lubricant’.

Incongruent smile

We know that a smile has to be ‘congruent’ (one of the big 3 Cs) with the words or vocal content of our message. If we see a mismatch then our subconscious immediately focuses on that all-important word – trust. We don’t believe the message. In the world of politics, because we live in a media-driven society, we’re constantly exposed to examples of this, and for the astute observer of non-verbal language it provides fertile ground.

Politicians are always being told, by their highly paid image consultants, to smile. A recent, fascinating example of this was the creation of Gordon Brown’s smile. Unfortunately it was likened by political columnists to that of the Child Catcher in Ian Fleming’s Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (a character created originally for the film by Roald Dahl).

The problem for Gordon Brown seemed to be one of ‘smile selection’. It was used on a hit-and-miss basis, and was completely random. Loss of child benefit CDs – smile. Fuel prices at a record high – smile. Food prices in the shops soaring – smile. Messages that were not consistent with body language!

As we know, in body language terms it means that we’re witnessing ‘incongruence’ – the facial expression does not match the content (words). There’s no evidence of empathy so the meaning of the whole message is void.

Make it natural

Is there a general message? Sounds obvious – smile only when it feels natural to do so, and make sure that it matches content and doesn’t conflict with events. Have you ever had a friend, acquaintance, boss, work colleague, customer or anybody of whom you’ve asked for something deliver negative news relating to their refusal, with an over exaggerated smile (a non-genuine one, which of course you now recognise!)? What message does it convey?

Firstly, there’s a mismatch. So you don’t believe the smile is a true reflection of their feelings or regret at them being unable to grant what you wanted. (We don’t smile when delivering ‘bad news’.) So your feeling is that the person had no intention of agreeing with you and hasn’t even considered it in the first instance – and may also possibly be disguising some antipathy.

Secondly, this ‘deceit’ is irritating. A neutral expression with perhaps the occasional smile as a person refers to certain points during a conversation is normal behaviour – it denotes at least a hint of sincerity. In other words, that this is a considered judgement (rightly or wrongly on their part) as to why they can’t grant what you had asked for – or at least that they understand your point of view.

So if you’re guilty of doing this, understand how, in body language terms, you’re sending out incongruent messages that completely dilute the point you may be trying to convey. Plus you’re possibly irritating and confusing the listener, and losing their trust. If your gestures are not ‘congruent’ with what you are saying and also with the rest of your body, there’s a mismatch – and your ‘image’ suffers.

The social smile

The smile is probably the easiest of all facial expressions to identify. It’s denoting a positive emotion and we display this when we’re feeling happy. But it’s also an expression that we have to adopt for social purposes. We’re usually pleased that somebody is smiling at us – whether it’s genuine or not – because most of us use smiling to indicate (as our ancestors did) friendliness as opposed to hostility.

Equally, people in jobs in which they are dealing with people – service industries, for example – are urged to smile as part of the job, even if they don’t feel inclined to do so. So it’s an expression that we’ve been used to displaying from an early age. The fact that we have to turn it on at will means that because of all the practice we’ve had, we’re quite good at producing smiles that are not quite genuine.

This social smile is identifiable by:

• the two corners of the mouth moving sideways towards the ears (there is no lift upwards) and no activity or emotion around the area of the eyes.

The true (or felt) smile is identifiable by:

• the two corners of the mouth being forced upwards towards the eyes with the outer edges of the eyes displaying that familiar crinkling.

I can see through your smile...

Over the centuries the smile of the Mona Lisa has captivated poets and onlookers. It’s accepted that the expression on a person’s face is usually recognised from the two distinct areas of:

• corners of the eyes
• corners of the mouth.

With this painting, Leonardo da Vinci chose to let these two distinct areas fall into shadow and so there is confusion as to the mood of the subject of the painting and constant discussion relating to what the smile is telling us.

The point about identifying the two types of smile is that although we naturally engage in felt and social smiles (the latter – as discussed earlier – because of social convention and also to display friendliness), being able to distinguish between the two is extremely helpful. For example, let’s say that at a party your host has invited someone you know they do not particularly like (out of duty). Compare their smile when they greet them to when they greet somebody you know they really care for.

That gives you a pointer on their genuine smile versus the fake smile. So now you know how to distinguish feelings in your own dealings with them. Transpose that to a work situation, for example. You know when your boss, colleague or whoever is genuinely pleased about a suggestion or is just being polite (she’ll find a way to ditch your idea later). Change tack if you get this warning signal.

It’s self-evident that you would want to know whether or not someone is genuinely experiencing these positive emotions towards you so that you can respond appropriately. In addition, knowing and recognising the two types of smile in a conversation means that you can pursue the elements of a conversation that evoke genuine interest and investigate (or ditch!) those elements that display the opposite smile.

It’s a pity that – despite exhortations from employers to their staff – many people don’t smile enough! Repeated studies show that we are attracted to people who display genuine smiles (which we perceive subconsciously) and regard them as sociable. We are affected by people who smile at us even if we don’t realise it at the time. We’ll discuss this shortly when we talk about the groundbreaking studies relating to smiling and emotions. But before that here’s a good example of its effects in a ‘service’ situation that we’re all familiar with.

Many studies have been done in the USA (the home of tipping!), in test conditions, involving waiting staff and the ‘gratuity’ received by pleasant and smiling staff compared with those who didn’t smile.

• Without exception, the ones that smiled and displayed friendly body language collected more tips.
• The waiting staff who knelt down to floor level to discuss the menu with seated diners seemed to do even better. (Posture and movement are powerful body language actions.)
• It was also shown that waiting staff who used the power of touch – say gently touching the customer on the elbow or side of the arm – seemed to strike up a greater rapport with them and this again influenced the giving of tips.

There are many types of smile and, just as we’ve spoken about open and closed body language, you won’t be too surprised to learn that there are open smiles and closed smiles. Kate Middleton has a wide open smile showing emotion around her eyes (charming all around her!)

• Open smiles tend to show the teeth
• Closed smiles don’t – think of a tight-lipped smile, or an asymmetrical or ‘lop-sided smile’.

Smiling and emotions (chicken or egg?)

We mentioned the name of Paul Ekman and his pioneering work earlier. He’s provided us with invaluable information regarding findings that were discussed decades earlier. Modern equipment has enabled scientists to prove the link between facial expressions and emotions and the effect on our autonomic nervous system. Ekman and his staff at the University of California have studied facial muscles in depth.

His work ought to – in a perfect world (but the world not being perfect and all that) – ensure that those of us who go around with:

• a scowl or
• a disconsolate ‘visage’ or other ‘negative’ facial expression (sometimes by choice and other times through simply not being aware of how our facial features are arranged)

should stop immediately. Why? What’s the deal?

Well, it was always thought – and taken for granted – that as the face is the barometer for our emotions, then facial expressions follow after an emotion has been felt. So it was assumed that you first of all feel happy, or sad, and then the corresponding facial expression is displayed.

Now wait for the great news – and be sure to tell those morose shop assistants, surly waiters, bank clerks, theatre ticket clerks, doctors’ receptionists, security guards, supermarket checkout staff, railway ticket staff, office receptionists, your work colleagues, your boss (if I’ve missed any of the guilty out there, humble apologies – you know who you are!) – that:

• If you force yourself to display a certain expression, the mind and body work together and physiologically recognise and process that emotion, with appropriate biochemical changes.
• So if you are feeling tense and unhappy, for example, and are told to change your downcast facial expression to a smile, this makes you feel better inside because of the feel-good hormones that are now working their way through the body.

Magic! So the research has turned things upside down. Can the expression itself create the emotion? Yes.

Ekman’s six emotions (detailed earlier) were tested for ANS (autonomic nervous system) changes, which control heart rate, breathing, body temperature and other functions.

• Startling bodily changes were observed with heart rate increase and raised skin temperature for the negative emotions, like sadness, disgust and fear. The ANS activity was highest for anger.
• In the lab experiments these bodily changes were not present when the facial muscles were changed to a smiling expression. In fact they served to calm down the negative ANS activity when the subjects were asked to switch to a smile.

Political columnists were forever highlighting Alastair Campbell – former Downing Street adviser to Tony Blair – and his perpetual scowl and look of anger as he went about his business. With a face almost permanently set for conflict and anger we can see how the ANS would have made it self-fulfilling, reinforcing the emotions.

Lips

We’ve seen how the position of the lips in relation to the smile is governed by the main facial muscles. These muscles are versatile and work with or without each other. That’s why you can have an asymmetrical or ‘lop-sided’ smile. One side tells one story about your feelings, the other tells another – pleasure and pain. A good example of a lop-sided smile, tuned to perfection, is shown by actor Harrison Ford when he’s not cracking the whip. The lips are also very expressive in giving away our feelings quite independent of a smile. They’re a good indicator of all our emotions.

Much has been said about open body language – the more open the mouth the more relaxed you appear. Conversely, tense or tight lips on a person show some kind of restraint of an emotion – usually a negative one.

Pursed lips are common with many people. Usually this signifies somebody thinking intently about something but they’re not ready to speak, either because it’s not possible for them to interject yet, or they haven’t carefully thought out their argument. It’s almost certainly a sign of dissent so if you spot this during a conversation, try to intercept and get to the bottom of the disagreement.

Sometimes we’ll bite our lip (as in the saying) – we’ll cover this in Lesson 5.

The pout seems to have come back into fashion thanks to former Spice Girl, Victoria Beckham. Lips pressed tightly together with tongue pushed up to the palate. Unlike the pursed lips, the pout seems to cover a multitude of sins as far as feelings go – sadness, anger, disgust and even imaginary ones. If you see it – look for cluster behaviour. Otherwise it may just be for effect. After all, it’s popular in Hollywood.

The position of the head

We’ll be looking at the powerful use of head ‘nods’ as a communication device in listening behaviour in Lesson 3. What about the position or angle of the head in various instances? Take a look at these and consider the signals that they send out to other people (whether they’re right or not).

• Completely lowered head (with slumped shoulders) – sends out a message about your state of mind through where you’re looking. You’re looking down, so therefore you’re feeling down. It can denote that you’re feeling depressed, guilty about something or that you’re concealing something or that you’re fatigued or extremely tired.

  I’ve noticed a new phenomenon over the last few years – it’s been evident in many settings. For example, as I walked into a restaurant once, there was a group of people – nine or so – around a table and some of them were talking animatedly, while others were in a slumped position with their heads down and their hands under the table. It looked odd – as though they were on the wrong table. Well, I thought, maybe it’s deference – they’re shortly expecting a visit from the Pope. No. How about shy, maybe? Lacking social skills? Depressed? Then, as I was shown to my table, I could see that they were all tapping away at their smartphones. Their posture had given a completely wrong signal to an onlooker. (Quite apart from that, isn’t it rude anyway?).

• Slightly lowered head – you may be trying to avoid eye contact (for whatever reason). It’s sometimes adopted when you’re showing respect to somebody. Sometimes we adopt this as a form of protection from something – possibly because our space is being ‘invaded’ in a crowded environment.
• Tilted head – often used to show interest in something that’s been said or about to be discussed. Other people display this to denote their curiosity about something. At the other end of the scale it sometimes may be a ‘shyness’ gesture; equally it could indicate that a person is doubting something that has been said or implied and is looking for reassurance from the speaker. If you’re in this situation and observing these body language signals then try to look for any ‘cluster’ behaviour that gives you a clue to what signal is being sent out. For example, if a head tilt is accompanied by the sudden folding of arms and a perplexed expression – then something’s wrong.

Many people are unaware of their style of walking posture or sitting posture and it’s only when it’s pointed out to them that they take notice of their habitual style. The same is true for the position of their head.

A simple maxim – look straight ahead and you look to the future. Look down and you’re probably feeling down.

Always remember that there’s a biofeedback mechanism that occurs with our mind and body (see more in Lesson 6) – remember the effects of smiling on the body.

BODYtalk

Q Even though the eyes are so expressive, we do need to give out other information with the face to back up how we feel, don’t we?

Of course. When you look at somebody, the eyes can convey love, liking or hostility. Pupils contract when a person is angry or in a negative state so that this, in conjunction with the muscle movement around the eyes, makes the eyes look less friendly. But it’s the facial expression that accompanies it that denotes the feeling – a smile for liking or attraction, or tight lips and jaw for dislike, for example.

Q Sometimes when I’m with people they’re looking over my shoulder or around the room between any eye contact they manage to make. I find it irritating. Should I be annoyed?

Certainly you should. Unless they’re on the run from the FBI or anxiously awaiting the arrival of someone (which they should inform you about) there’s no excuse. Whatever words they may be saying are all invalidated, I bet.

Q I work with someone – I’m actually in charge of her. She’s very nice and very competent, but she always seems to lower her head and dip her eyes when we’re talking. A bit like Princess Diana used to do. What do I make of this? Am I doing something wrong?

Well, she’s giving you the opportunity to take a dominant role – any dip of the head is what we’d call a submissive gesture. I understand you’re in charge of her, so you have that authority anyway. It often signals a desire not to be involved in the interaction in the first place. It’s usually used by women and it does, no doubt, inspire you to feel protective towards her. It’s used a lot when women are flirting because it makes the eyes seem bigger and evokes innocence. People respond to large eyes in a protective way (think of babies). It may just be her ‘style’ of communicating when she’s with you. If you’re not being manipulated – and you can handle it – it’s fine.

Q I need your help on this. I’ve got a kind of serious face, I suppose. I think people may get the wrong idea when I’m talking to them. I try to strike up empathy but my face doesn’t show it. Any ideas?

People believe what they see rather than what they hear. If there’s a mismatch they’ll believe and take meaning from the higher figure (remember 55, 38, 7). So you’re obviously, with the best will in the world, trying to convey with your words (7) how you feel, but there’s no ‘congruence’ – one of our 3 Cs. So they believe what they see – your facial expression; and sorry to be blunt but it obviously turns them off.

Q What can I do?

Well, you know about the importance of a little smile. You don’t have to do a full-wattage Julia Roberts. Just occasionally, at the right moments, back up your supposed empathy with a change of expression. I’m sure it will work wonders.

Q Reading what you just said above, our faces are obviously honest in showing how we feel, but we can, to a certain extent, control our expressions. My question is, how does a person see through the masking?

As you know, we’re always looking for ‘congruence’ and ‘clusters’ – two of our 3 Cs. See if the expression agrees with the vocal (the paralanguage) – any speech abnormalities or tension. Also with the visual clues – any cluster of body leakage that negates the single piece of information that we have, namely the facial expression. If these cues are informative, then the masking is revealed. It’s quite easy to control our facial expressions (if you don’t want to look sad you can fake it). It’s much harder to control our tone of voice or our gestures.

Coffee break ...

• The face is second only to the eyes in revealing information about us.
• Since we communicate with the eyes more than any other part of the anatomy, it follows that eye contact plays a big part in striking up rapport with someone.
• Eye gaze for strangers (and business) is normally directed at the triangular area between the forehead and the base of the eyes.
• Eye gaze on a social level is normally directed to the triangle between the eyes and the mouth.
• In normal eye contact the speaker always looks away more than the listener.
• Normal eye contact is always intermittent (if this doesn’t happen it makes us feel uneasy).
• Lowering eyes and avoiding eye contact is not a confident gesture and is perceived as a submissive one.
• A person often shows interest in another person by holding eye contact a little longer than usual (a few seconds more).
• We need to maintain eye contact for the simple reason that we need to be observing other people’s body language, quite apart from everything else.
• We know that large eyes are attractive (just ask men and new mothers), so to show you’re interested and paying attention, try to adopt a wide-eyed look (with raised eyebrows) rather than a narrowing of the eyes.
• The face may reveal a person’s mood, but it’s the other body movements which reveal what those feelings are making the person do (for example, waving arms or tapping fingers restlessly).
• All the research shows that women tend to be better than men at reading body language generally, especially from the face.
• The six easily identifiable emotions are:
  • happiness
  • surprise
  • disgust
  • fear
  • sadness
  • anger.
• Research suggests that we seem to be hard-wired to recognise happiness, the only positive emotion, more than the others (100 per cent in tests).
• Two types of smile are generally referred to: the real (or felt) smile and the fake smile. We could add a third if we wanted to make a distinction, the unhappy smile, when we’re putting on a ‘brave face’.
• The true smile engages the zygomatic muscles, which run down the sides of the face, and the orbicularis oculi, which are the ones around the eyes.
• The orbicularis oculi muscles are not under our control so the brain and its physiology provide an indicator of a genuine smile.
• The other pointers to a genuine smile:
  • Bilateral symmetry in the face (as opposed to bilateral asymmetry for the fake).
  • Slow onset and decline (as opposed to rapid onset and decline for the fake).
  • Smiling eyes (as opposed to unsmiling eyes for the fake).
• The lips are a good indicator of our emotions regardless of a smile. Generally the more open the mouth, the more relaxed and attentive you appear because tight lips suggest the harbouring of a negative emotion.