In this chapter, we will look at the principles of effective questioning, and the dos and don’ts of this core coaching skill. I’ll offer examples of questions you might use more often, plus some with a specific purpose, for example to broaden a debate, shift someone’s perspective or gather more specific information. You’ll also find an exercise to help you start to ask better questions right away.
Great questions: a neat trick
People who ask quality questions generally obtain richer information and understanding. Have you ever sat in a meeting where someone has asked a really great question about a situation? Perhaps the conversation had become disjointed, or difficult to comprehend. Or maybe people seemed to have very different views and agreement seemed unlikely. Then someone asked a really good question. What effect did you notice it had on the group? Good questions can have a profound influence on a situation, perhaps by crystallising debate, or addressing the heart of a matter. Or maybe they save time, as they bring things back on track. When you ask a great question it can easily be of greater value than offering an idea or an opinion. And yet in the workplace we often put our effort into forming ideas or opinions, which we then explain from our perspective. Our views and ideas then compete with other people’s, as we work to stay ahead of the conversation.
In coaching, a well-timed, simply worded question can turn keys, unlock doors and provoke insight for the person you’re coaching – maybe a question such as ‘If you could change just one thing about this situation, what would that be?’ or ‘What’s important about this to you?’ As the benefits of coaching rest upon our ability to have others think for themselves, then the quality of our questions eases their progress.
What are the attributes of an effective question? In coaching, a good question:
- is simple
- has a clear sense of purpose
- influences someone’s thought and understanding – without being controlling.
Coach the person, not the issue
Remember that your focus during a coaching conversation is to help the person fix the issue – not for you to fix the issue. So ask questions that help them think about the situation, rather than help you think about the situation!
The power of keeping things simple
Great questions are not complicated; they are simple in their construction. If someone has to struggle to understand your question before they can attempt to answer it, you risk wasting energy and confusing someone. For example, try answering the following question:
Considering the current nature of our world and our organisations as forming part of that world, what are the key obstacles that seem to pose the greatest prevailing threats upon the ability of organisations to contribute constructively to our environmental issues?
How did you like that? It took me right back to school exam papers! The question is long, complicated and seems to be getting at something, i.e. that there is a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ response. It’s fairly off-putting in its tone, and extreme just to prove a point. Let’s simplify it a little and see how that changes the impact it has upon us:
What are the key obstacles that pose the greatest threats to the ability of organisations to contribute constructively to our environmental issues?
It’s better for stripping away the pointless words, but we still have to work to comprehend its meaning before we can use mental energy in forming our response. Words such as key obstacles and constructively seem significant – even though their meaning is unclear. Again, the question feels a little highbrow or ‘exclusive’. Let’s try another level of simplification:
What barriers do organisations face when trying to help with our environmental issues?
This question feels different, doesn’t it? Now we can focus our energy on surfacing our response, rather than trying to understand what the question is asking us to do. This example is also more encouraging of an answer, as it has no ‘cleverness’ built into it. It is less intimidating or pressured – as though anyone can have a valid opinion. So simplifying language and using shorter words and terms are helpful when we want to ask effective questions.
The following table offers further examples of the effects of simple and complicated questions.
| Complicated question | Simpler version |
|---|---|
| What are the various issues or complications that have led us to where we are with this situation? | What’s caused this? |
| Considering the after-effects of such an action, what are the consequences of such a move, do you think? | How will doing that affect things? |
| What kind of opinions or views might Bob bring to the table here, do you think? | What does Bob think about this? |
And if those sound really obvious, don’t be fooled! Try listening to people in meetings or professional discussions and focus on the questions people use. Here are a few reasons we use overly complex questions in the workplace:
- We like to appear smart, clever and knowledgeable – and asking ‘What does Bob think?’ might make us look slow. So we overcomplicate a thought or question, feeling that the simplest version of it may appear dumb. It may save time, focus the debate and provide a useful shift in perspective – but we don’t get to sound ‘clever’, which may be a stronger urge.
- We start talking before we have a clear version of our question. Our urge to talk, to be part of a conversation, may encourage us to begin a statement before we actually know where we are going with it. Clear questions demand clarity of mind and thought – sometimes we need to work on maintaining a relaxed yet focused state of mind first.
- We don’t ask what we really want to know! Instead of asking a direct question, we ‘strategise’ around it. For example, as someone explains what a problem is, we become confused. Maybe the problem appears to have changed during the explanation. But we don’t want to look stupid so we try to gain clarity without saying ‘I’m confused’.
The dialogue below demonstrates these points:
| Jayne | I’m fed up with the way Finance think that they can just change the way things are going to get done and then expect everyone else just to fall in line with whatever new piece of documentation they’ve invented. It’s ridiculous. |
| Manager | Why? What documentation’s changed? |
| Jayne | No, they haven’t changed anything, it’s just that they’ve implied that they might do. Moira in particular is really worried now. |
| Manager | [thinks] I’m a bit confused . . . what’s the issue here? [asks] Why is Moira worried? |
| Jayne | Well, because she’s the one who’s going to have to cope with the new documentation. |
| Manager | I thought there wasn’t any new documentation? |
Although the manager is confused they are reluctant to admit that. So they keep asking questions and hope they’ll eventually get clear. They might get clear – or they might not. It’s likely they’ll waste time pursuing different lines of enquiry (like ‘What documentation “might” be changing?’).
Here’s how asking the question that first occurred to them affects things:
| Jayne | I’m fed up with the way Finance think that they can just change the way things are going to get done and then expect everyone else just to fall in line with whatever new piece of documentation they’ve invented. It’s ridiculous. |
| Manager | Why? What documentation’s changed? |
| Jayne | No, they haven’t changed anything, it’s just that they’ve implied that they might do. Moira in particular is really worried now. |
| Manager | [thinks] I’m a bit confused . . . what’s the issue here? [asks] So, Jayne, I’m a bit confused, what’s the issue here? |
| Jayne | Well, just their complete lack of consultation with us, they’re just not keeping us in the loop. |
Again, it’s a simple example to prove a point. When we ask what’s really on our minds, rather than rewording it, or translating it into something slightly different, we retain the integrity of our first impulse. Our first impulse is often the clearest thought we have, and the one that can create the greatest clarity in a situation. It’s often a simple thought – and so ‘not very clever’ and less appealing to us as a question we want to voice publicly.
Go ask some questions . . .
Next time someone starts telling you about a problem (or starts complaining), try asking some or all of the following questions:
- What else/who else is affected by this?
- What’s the real cause of this, do you think?
- What needs to happen then?
- What options are you considering?
- So what have you decided to do?
As you can see, each question has a different purpose. Individually, each question may be productive, and together they create a sense of forward movement, i.e. towards solution and action.
When clever isn’t clever . . .
Our tendency to value simplicity more than apparently ‘intelligent’ debate stops us asking effective questions. Have you ever sat in a meeting feeling really confused about the discussion and stayed quiet? Then someone else declared their confusion, asked for clarification and it was useful to everyone? The conversation had become confused or irrelevant and yet most of the group had avoided asking for clarification. A neat question was all that was needed to pull things back on track. Simple questions borne from a clear intention create effective progress, especially in coaching conversations.
What’s in a question?
The following exercise will help you become more aware of the types of questions you typically hear – and also those that you yourself ask.
Pick a conversation where people are discussing something as a group. If you are part of that group, you can also consider your own contributions afterwards. Listen to the types of questions that are being asked, and reflect on the following questions.
- How often are people asking questions, and how often are they simply responding to what has been said?
- What impact does a lack of questions have?
- When people do ask questions, how effective are they, i.e. what impact do those questions have on the discussion?
- Which types of questions work well – and which don’t?
- If you asked questions, what was your intention or purpose behind those questions?
Take a little time to consider how you might improve the quality (and impact) of your own questions, having observed the behaviours of yourself and others.
Questions with a clear sense of purpose
Another attribute of an effective question is that it has a clear purpose or objective. For example, that purpose may be to gather more information, to encourage ideas or to motivate someone to act. When we don’t have a clear sense of purpose behind our question, the question will often be confused or get a result that we didn’t want. In coaching, this is important because you want your questions to help the other person progress in some way. The following table illustrates questions with clear purpose. They are also nice, simple questions you might use in your everyday work situations.
Is this a closed question?
To coach effectively you’ll want to develop an ability to ask consistently open questions, i.e. questions that cannot be answered with a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. These questions literally open up discussion and target a broader range of potential responses. To remind you, open questions begin with:
Consider the benefits of asking more open questions in your everyday conversations. What difference could that make? (And how could you start right now?)
Strategising or ‘leading the witness’
Remember, in coaching we encourage others to be more self-directed. So our questions must also have an open intention. Questions with an open intention are unattached to any particular outcome or response. They include questions such as ‘What do you think?’ or ‘What do you want?’ Questions with a closed intention assume fewer potential options as a response, for example ‘What would your conscience tell you to do in order to not upset her further?’ The question closes down the options of a response dramatically. Sometimes we do this to make the other person realise something we think is true, for example ‘I feel there are integrity issues here’. When we ask a question where we know what we want someone to answer, it’s a subtle form of direction or control. Please be willing to ask questions that you don’t know the answer to.
Asking questions with a strategy is an easy trap to fall into when we first learn about coaching. That’s because we know we need to avoid being overly directive and let someone else come up with their own answers, but we still want to help or guide someone to get to a solution. And so we ask strategising questions instead. The following table includes examples of strategising questions, plus questions with a more open intention.
As you can see, the strategising questions appear to have more of an agenda – as though the person asking them is getting at something or has an opinion about what the answer should be. We sometimes call this ‘leading the witness’, because the person asking the question appears to be using a subtle form of direction to reach a fixed conclusion. In coaching, these types of questions are less effective than open questions, because they reduce the openness, creativity and engagement of the person being coached.
Check your tone of voice
A great question can be wrecked by lousy tonality. For example, try asking the question ‘Why did you do that?’ out loud in the following ways:
- as if you think the person is the most stupid you’ve met in a long time
- with a big smile in your voice and demeanour
- with a gentle, neutral tone.
There’s also a pitfall to using questions that begin with the word ‘why’, as they can cause people to be defensive or to feel they need to justify themselves. So remember to be careful using ‘why’ and soften your tonality. Try to stay neutral with demeanour, so that the person feels less judged by the question and so will feel less cautious with their response.
Powerful questions
In conversation, people sometimes get ‘stuck’ in a problem, for example they only want to talk about the issue and not any potential solutions. So powerful questions are a very useful tool as they encompass a statement of the problem and propel it towards a solution. A powerful question can turn someone’s energy away from describing or justifying an issue and towards more constructive thought. Also, by adopting a solution focus we help lighten the mood of a situation – away from frustration and towards optimism.
Attributes of powerful questions include:
- they acknowledge the issue or challenge
- they assume that a positive outcome is possible
- they are open (what, how, etc.) and provoke a creative response.
In the workplace, we are often faced with complaints or issues that ignore the possibility of a solution, for example ‘We can’t do this’ or ‘This is an impossible situation’. As a coach (or a manager), much of the value you add is to create a sense of possibility in a situation that helps people to move towards a solution. The following table illustrates this idea further.
| Statement of issue/complaint | Powerful question |
|---|---|
| It’s hopeless – we’re never going to get it done by Friday because we’ve already got so much other work in the queue. | How can we get it done by Friday and still deal with the other work in the queue? |
| We’d love to have a staff summer party again, but the money needs to go on training this year. | How can we have a summer party and still afford the training? |
| We really need to do some team building to improve collaboration, but people’s roles are going to change and we don’t yet know what that’s going to mean. | How can we do some team building and still support the new roles in future? |
Effective questions
In coaching, effective questions provoke valuable thoughts and reflection and help surface insight, clarity, or even a decision to act. Effective questions are simply worded so that someone puts their effort into forming their response, rather than on understanding the question. Effective questions also have a clear sense of purpose, for example to gather more information, to switch perspectives, or create a sense of the future. When our questions are open, simple and have a clear purpose, people can respond to them freely and openly. So when you coach, it’s important that your questions have a predominantly open intention, i.e. they are unattached to any predetermined outcome.