In this final chapter we’ll consider where you are now in terms of your ability to coach. We’ll also focus on your journey ahead as one that takes you towards coaching being a natural and straightforward thing to do in your work situations. As usual, I’ll offer routines for you to work through, to help equip you for your travels. I will also be asking you some questions, and it may help to write your answers down. And of course I’ll be leaving you with an invitation to return – this book wants to work hard for you, so please allow it to do just that!
Where are you now?
By now, I hope you’ve found enough information and guidance to enrol you in the opportunity of coaching, perhaps as a general style you could develop at work, or simply as something you could use with certain people or situations. Your challenge now is to continue your journey and blend coaching principles naturally into what you do every day. Here’s where you might be, in terms of thoughts and feelings.
- I know it’s something I need to do and I do understand the general concept, but I’m not sure I can do it naturally in all situations. I’m a bit worried what people might think if I suddenly start behaving differently.
- I’ve been trying to remember to do this stuff, and sometimes I do – but to be honest it’s too easy to slip into my old style of managing, especially when things get hectic.
- I’m really interested in doing it, but I just can’t see where I’m going to apply it.
- I’ve got it! I’m already doing it – it suits a lot of my personality and style anyway – so I’m just going to build on what I was already doing.
- Some days I think I’ve got it, others I don’t – I’m having good days and bad ones.
As you read this, there is no ‘right’ place to be: wherever you are is just wherever you are. No matter which of the previous statements resonate most with you, you’re in a perfect position to move forward from there. And don’t forget that before you picked up this book you functioned with an existing set of skills, and those skills are all still with you. Your opportunity now is to build on those skills and to create more flexibility around people and situations.
Where are you now?
Use the following questions to consider what you want to focus on now. If it helps, write down your answers.
Q: Of all the ideas and information in this book, what are the things that really resonated with you the most?
Q: What single idea ‘bothered’ you the most, for example you didn’t like it, were bugged by it, etc.?
Q: If you could change one thing about your style at work, what would it be?
Where would you like to get to?
Having reflected a little on where you are now, you can now consider how far you’d like to develop your coaching skills. You may relish the opportunity to adopt coaching as a consistent way of behaving at work. Or it might be that to become a ‘complete coaching manager’ just isn’t for you. But maybe you’ve recognised that to be a better listener might help, or that to ask some smart questions in situations would add value. As always, you are the best judge.
Where would you like to get to?
Consider the following questions to help you decide what benefits are available to you now.
Q: If you coached people around you more often, what would be different?
Q: Of the skills you’ve read about (building rapport, listening, questioning, flexible styles of influence and giving feedback), which would make the biggest difference if you got better at it? What would improve?
Q: What career goals do you already have? Which of the coaching skills can help you achieve those?
Now imagine that whatever you decided you wanted has come true. For example, it’s over a year from now and you’ve been using coaching skills for a while – what’s changed? Think both about how things might feel and also how other people might be different, for example how they might react to you. Write down any thoughts that occur.
How are you going to get there?
Having thought a little about your destination, let’s look more closely at the journey ahead. Think about the things you’ll be doing to learn the skills you’ve decided you want. Now write down a list of those things, keeping it simple and practical. For example:
- I’m going to practise being ‘present’ to people, to improve my listening.
- I’m going to tell my team to stop expecting me to give them answers all the time.
- I’ll be holding more regular one-to-one meetings.
- I’ll be asking more questions in conversations.
- I’ll be asking for feedback on my management style.
What might stop you?
As we endeavour to create change, life will normally challenge us with barriers or obstacles to overcome. By thinking a little about what might stop you from learning the skills you want, you can be ready to move through anything standing in your way. Perhaps that’s your own laziness in a situation, for example wanting to give quick and easy answers rather than work harder to help someone get to their own. If you know that you have the tendency to ‘do the easy thing’ in a situation, at least you can spot it when it crops up and say ‘Aha – I knew I’d want to do this – now, am I going to let it stop me?’
What might stop you?
Reflect on the following to help you identify your potential barriers to progress.
Q: So far, what has stopped you from adopting the coaching behaviours, for example as you were reading this book?
Q: Of the skills you’ve read about (building rapport, listening, questioning, flexible styles of influence and giving feedback), which are you going to find most tough to tackle? Why?
Q: What’s the main thing that might stop you from bringing coaching skills into your everyday style?
When you’ve got answers to these questions, think a little about what you might do to overcome those barriers, writing your thoughts down if that helps. Sometimes it’s enough just to acknowledge the barriers as, somehow, recognising them diminishes them.
Support your ongoing learning
Spend a little time thinking about what support you need for your journey of learning and development. Maybe you like reading, or listening to audio books, or maybe you’re more action based and like attending training courses. Maybe you learn from other people, such as a colleague or mentor or coach. Some people like to keep a learning diary, writing down their thoughts and experiences to help them focus on a topic. We learn in different ways, so be creative and decide how you will support and sustain your learning going forward.
Free to download materials: starrconsulting.co.uk
If you decide to continue your development with this topic, there are free-of-charge downloads and viewable material on my website: www.starrconsulting.co.uk. Simply look in the Online Toolkit. There you’ll find exercises, routines and descriptions that can help you practise and strengthen your skills further.
Take your learning forward
So you’ve reflected a little on where you are now, where you’d like to be and also upon the journey ahead. By understanding how you’ll benefit from strengthening your skills further, I hope you’re motivated to tackle any of your challenges along the way. The simple skills of building rapport, listening, questioning, flexible styles of influence and being able to offer constructive feedback will equip you not only to coach, but to operate successfully in whatever role or career you choose.
I’ll close by saying that I trust this book has supported the work that you do – please revisit any time, and I wish you every good fortune with your coaching!
