PILLAR 9
Finding the Fear
Now that you’ve told everyone about your plans, now that you have those closest to you saying you can’t do it, now that you have built up that faith in yourself, I want to turn the conversation back to commitment. Commitment is one of the essential keys of your character, and you need to ensure that you have what it takes to see your goals through to fruition.
What I’m about to say to you right now is without a doubt strategically designed to shock you and force you out of your comfort zone. It is human nature to give something your full attention when the information makes you uncomfortable. You have made it this far, and I congratulate you, but, hey, let’s get a little crazy.
Starting right now—this very second—I want you to have the dedication of a severe drug addict. Unfortunately, this point is coming from firsthand knowledge and experiences that I have seen with my own eyes. Growing up where I did meant that I saw too many people succumb to a drug addiction. I know firsthand what drugs can do to a person. A drug addict wakes up every day with one goal in mind: to get high. To see a person start every day from ground zero and still accomplish his or her number one goal, which is to self-destruct by getting high, was my first exposure as a teenager to the “whatever-it-takes” type of mindset. It was the highest form of “never give up” that I had ever seen.
Think about it. Drug addicts wake up every day knowing they are going to get high that day. They know that no matter what, they are going to find drugs and use them. The fear of not getting high that day is more powerful than the fear of not eating. Imagine tapping into that level of fear when it comes to your not creating and leaving behind your success and generational wealth. Nothing is going to stop them in their journey. Remember, they may start their day with absolutely nothing—no job, no family, no money, no home. Even then, they still have the dedication to get high that day and every foreseeable day in the future.
Of course, I don’t want you to break the law to reach your goals, but I do want you to understand that waking up with zero doesn’t mean you can’t still hit your goal every day. Do you have the vision, dedication, and commitment to make any dream a reality? Is it truly possible to succeed regardless of your circumstances? The answer to that lies within our personal definition of success.
We all know that there are people who are in very adverse situations who still decide to win every day by hitting their goal through any means necessary. Now the real question is, what’s your excuse that you have told yourself time and time again for why being a first-generation millionaire is not possible for you? And while you are entertaining your excuses, remember this: people at ground zero have already started their day with nothing and will—sadly, somehow and someway—successfully self-sabotage themselves while you are still contemplating your limitations and building a wall of excuses.
I want you to understand that my personal drive as a young adult was the fear that my children’s first memory in life would be pain, rejection, and poverty, as mine was. That fear was my driving factor. I never wanted to be a millionaire. That was never my primary goal. All I wanted was to leave a legacy for my children so that they would never feel the pain I have felt. I woke up every day and worked hard for something that was much greater than I would ever be, something that was much greater than numbers in a bank account. I worked for something that would outlive me. I worked for my legacy.
It is written in ancient biblical scriptures, “A good man will leave an inheritance for his children’s children.” The bottom line was that I was fearful of not being called a good man when I closed my eyes for the final time. I ran toward my fears to redefine the legacy of the name Wimbrey, and that came before food itself or anything else, for that matter.
In order to reach that level of drive, you need to first look at your biggest fear. My biggest fear is going back to a homeless shelter. My first memory is having a refrigerator door slammed in my face at three years old. I was reaching for some milk, something I had done often at home. What I didn’t know at the time was that I wasn’t at home. I was at a homeless shelter, reaching into a communal fridge, and that milk belonged to another family.
I will never forget the shock, embarrassment, and pain of that door closing on me. I am more afraid of going back to that shelter than I am of holding out my hand and pitching the craziest ideas, standing on the biggest stages, or asking for that next opportunity. If you are going to have the commitment you need to truly succeed, you must first face the thing that you fear the most. Pinpoint that fear and say it out loud. Write it down. Tell someone else. Bring that fear to the surface so you can tap into it every day.
Most people allow their fear to become the limiting key factor that causes them to never take a step toward their destiny. I want to teach you how to use fear to drive you and to motivate you. When you find yourself running away from something, I want you to keep in mind that you’re also running toward something.
A true champion of any kind knows that running toward a known fear is more rewarding than running toward the comfort zone of mediocrity. I have had the incredible honor of interviewing global giants of their particular industries, from professional athletes, multibillion-dollar-producing entrepreneurs, award-winning international entertainers, and many more respected high-level personalities. Through all those conversations, I have found that the common denominator for those who massively succeed is that they are motivated by their known fears.
I want to share a story of another young man who harnessed his fear. Another one of my mentees from Brooklyn. I met him when I was in New York City back in 2012 doing a wealth seminar. The seminar was for people who wanted to significantly increase their income by learning how to succeed as a new entrepreneur. The night before, I sponsored a qualification-only social. That meant that you couldn’t just walk in off the street and join the party. You had to qualify to be in the room.
It was very clear that the night before the seminar, I would hold a private social gathering for people who had made the cut. It was a small group, and one of my top-level leaders told me that there was a guy he wanted to bring into the room to meet me. Even though he knew that this young man hadn’t qualified to be there, my top-level leader was asking me to meet him. It would be worth my time, he assured me. I told him that I trusted his judgment, but it was on him. He was taking the risk by bringing him and diluting the personal up-close mentorship earned by those who qualified.
My top-level leader waved to someone, and suddenly the unqualified guy walked in. He was young, a boxer, and straight from the streets. He had an attitude that he wore on his sleeve. He also worked for a well-known shipping and delivery company, but, as many do, he had a side hustle delivering illegal packages that put his life in danger every day. I would later find out that his day job was a cover-up for his money hustle, and he wanted out of that life. As soon as we met, he started looking me up and down, sizing me up. I could see that he was thinking, “Are you the real deal?” He immediately started asking me questions without reservations; he was not intimidated at all. He was respectful with his skepticism, though, and he quickly started to grow on me. Despite the rough exterior, I was impressed. This guy clearly had the confidence and brains he needed to go far. I asked him if he was coming to the training tomorrow.
“Na, man. I can’t make it.”
I looked at my leader and raised an eyebrow at him. “You brought a guy here who isn’t even coming to the training tomorrow? He’s not even that committed?”
His excuses started when he saw my energy change. He said, “I need to be at work at 6 a.m.”
“I don’t care what you have to do. If you come to this training tomorrow, I promise you, your life will never be the same.” I could tell he was intrigued. He turned back to my leader at the time, and they started talking quietly to each other. I said my good-byes, shook his hand, and moved on to the next group of people. As I saw him walk out a few minutes later, I was convinced I would never see him again.
At about seven o’clock the next morning, as I normally do, I came a few hours early to walk the room to make last-minute adjustments and to make sure everything was in order for the upcoming seminar. As I was walking in, guess who I saw: the young street kid boxer from Bed-Stuy Brooklyn. He was the first person there waiting.
“You made it! Your boss let you come?” I asked.
“Na.” he said.
“So, you called in sick?”
“Na. I just quit.” He had quit his job. He had walked away from that life forever, and he never once looked back. The fear he found was the fear of missing out on something big, something that could change his life. He used that fear to walk into his job at six in the morning and hand in his uniform.
He used the fear of missing out on his big break to push him to take the risk of not going to work (which I actually don’t recommend, but who am I to push my opinion on to his reality?). The result? He transformed himself. That fear of missing out has pushed him to say yes to so many things over the years, and it has opened him up to the most amazing opportunities. Needless to say, he would likely still be dropping off packages if the fear hadn’t pushed him toward something bigger.
Within five years from that date, this young street kid proved to us all that he was the real deal and had what it took to give himself to the journey of becoming a first-generation millionaire. Do you? Answer that question truthfully. If you don’t have what it takes, stop now and go reread the introduction and get back into a mindset that allows you to give your whole self to this cause. If you do have what it takes, keep reading and work on this pillar’s action step.
ACTION STEP
Now that you have determined your fear and have your motivation and commitment in place, I want you to put those feelings into tangible actions starting today. I want you to put down this book, get up, leave your house, and go make some introductions that bring you closer to your goals. Every single deal—be it swapping baseball cards or multibillion-dollar mergers—starts with an introduction and a handshake.
I want you to get out and introduce yourself to at least three people. Maybe it’s a mentor you thought was out of your reach, maybe it’s someone in your field you have wanted to pitch for ages, maybe it’s that “maybe” that you haven’t chased down yet. I want that fear to motivate you. I want you to push yourself into the deep end of the pool, into the fire.
When you find yourself arguing for your limitations, I want you to remember the people at ground zero who start their daily process of succeeding another day with no evidence of when, how, or what, but they still start. This is your journey. This is your life, becoming a first-generation millionaire is your God-given obligation.
PILLAR 9