PILLAR 11

Determining Your Instigators, Spectators, and Participators

Now we are going to talk about three types of people you will have in your life: Instigators, Spectators, and Participators. Recognizing which category those in your life fall into is crucial to success of any kind, especially when you are on your way to becoming a first-generation millionaire.

Instigators are people who just talk about making things happen. And that’s all they are: Just Talk. They don’t even have the tools to make things happen for themselves. They are always on the outside, tailgating in the parking lot while the big game is happening inside. Although they can’t even see it firsthand, they feel qualified to talk about the game and to pass judgment on the players, and they are even opinionated about the spectators watching in the stands. These are people who talk about the problem—they throw gas on the problem—but they never have a solution.

They wonder what’s going on in the meeting they were not invited to be in. They are the ones who put down a leader’s or someone in authority’s ideas, but they never offer any solutions or alternatives because they lack the qualifications. An Instigator will repeat a rumor with zero research on the facts. An Instigator’s reward is to recruit other Instigators, which brings them personal power. They are not motivated by personal success. They are only motivated to clap for or insult others’ successes or failures based on the Instigators’ own perceived best interest. Do you know any Instigators? If so, start listing them now. Do any of the names that are popping into your head surprise you?

Spectators are similar to Instigators in that they are simply there to observe, but the difference here is that Spectators will at least get close enough to actually see what’s going on firsthand. They will watch the game, and they are usually the ones telling the Instigators exactly what is happening. The Spectators clap when you win, but the moment you drop the ball—the moment you make a mistake—they are the same ones to tell you, “I told you it wouldn’t work! I told you that you were a fool to even try!”

These people sit in the stands and on the sideline, shouting plays at the players, reveling in the points earned, and booing every time the game doesn’t go their way. When the game is going in their favor, they are celebrating and chanting. Spectators are everywhere. Now write down the names of the Spectators in your life. How have they affected your actions? How do you feel about seeing their names on this list?

Then there are the Participators. One of the great, distinguishing characteristics of Participators is that they are not only actually playing in the game but they are also prepared for the game. Participators know that 90 percent of life is preparation; only 10 percent is the actual game. Participators are the ones on the field. They are the ones who have been training several hours a day, every day. They are the ones making the sacrifices. They are the only ones moving the ball.

One of the most incredible and typically not acknowledged attributes of Participators is that they understand there will be no game without the Instigators and Spectators. Instigators and Spectators do not show up for practice. They show up only to see the real game. The Participators understand that the Instigators’ and Spectators’ role is incredibly necessary in order for the Participators to play at maximum capacity. For the Participators, the ultimate revenge is their all-out massive success, nothing else.

Instigators and Spectators fall into the “foes” category when it comes to your goals whereas Participators are “friends” to these goals. You need Participators in your life if you are going to reach your goals. But more importantly, you need those Instigators and Spectators. Don’t run them off. Use them to empower yourself and to better understand both their role and yours. Be prepared for their insults. Learn to let their negativity roll off your back.

Participators also know that they have to constantly stay in position. If you want to be a Participator for your goal, you can never look right or left. You must stay laser focused on your goal. If you let someone hurl insults at you and make you turn your head away from your goal, you are putting that goal in danger. You have to stay focused. The moment you allow an Instigator or a Spectator to pull you out of focus, you become your own foe.

It’s important to point out that there are Instigators and Spectators around you, but they are also inside you. You have to learn how to recognize these parts of yourself and your behavior before they become a liability. You must be able to exercise that power of perception in the now. Letting them take over your thoughts and behavior for even a second can have long-lasting, damaging results.

I have learned so much about being both an internal Instigator and Spectator that I can now see right away when I am doing it—and more importantly, I can stop myself from acting on it. How? Let me share a story to show this in action.

A few years ago, it was very popular for people to hold personal development “heat camps,” where participants would go into tents in the desert to cleanse themselves and their minds and hopefully have business or personal revelations. I already thought these sessions were borderline unreasonable, but I really sat up and took notice when I heard that someone had died of heatstroke at one of these events. I shook my head in sorrow and disbelief. “Why in hell would someone need that experience to create a true breakthrough?” I thought to myself, as I picked up my phone to post my opinion on social media.

However, as soon as I had these critical thoughts, I realized I was being an Instigator. I said to myself, “Johnny, right now you are on the outside looking in. You haven’t researched these events. You haven’t researched this particular brand. And the person in question may have already been sick, frail, or old. You have no idea what happened.” Having that ability to realize what role I was playing helped me to step away from Twitter and stop myself from gossiping about the event.

My action wouldn’t have brought that person back, and my tweet wouldn’t have helped the leader of the event in question. The only thing it would have done was make me look bad, and maybe it would have come back to haunt me once all the facts were out.

I want you to start doing the same. Stop yourself before you do something you will regret. Stop yourself before you yell at the parent volunteer about how the pick-up line at school is set up. Hold your tongue when you feel the Instigator or Spectator coming through.

If you don’t have the ability to recognize these three people inside you and on the outside in your daily life, it can cost you millions of dollars and decades of progress. When you do identify them, ask yourself why you entertain them in your life. Is it to spare their feelings? To make it easier on those around you? Or is it because you are afraid of what you will lose if you cut them out? Take inventory and discard that inner-foe type of mindset. It is the only way to find the success you want.

Participators talk about solutions, not problems. They make things happen by addressing challenges with solutions. They are trained to ignore Instigators and Spectators. Regardless of what’s going on around them and regardless of all the hype, they never get out of position.

Participators are team players. They understand that breaking focus could bring harm to their fellow Participators. There is no time for foolishness. They are focused on making things happen. You have the task of figuring out which of these three categories you fall into. You must make your decision now, before you can move on.

Are you an Instigator, always finding yourself talking about things that are happening? Are you a Spectator, watching things happen from a distance? Are you a Participator in the game, focused on the end result and constantly bettering yourself by sharpening your skills and preparing to make things happen? The hard honest truth is that we are all one of these three personalities in everything we do and or entertain. Knowledge is power, right? No. Applied knowledge is power! Your power is in your ability to identify in the now, and adjusting immediately when (not if) you find yourself going down the path of an Instigator or Spectator. Self-correction immediately exercised is an obvious clue that you are beginning to master the mindset of a first-generation millionaire.

You will never learn to value yourself and your efforts if you let the Instigators and Spectators infect your life, your goals, and your mindset. It’s time to determine who is a friend and who is a foe and definitively distance yourself from your foes. I am giving you permission to take control of that focus. You need it if you are going to become a first-generation millionaire.

ACTION STEP

Think of everything you do, everyone you talk to, everywhere you go, and everything you touch on a daily basis. Who and what is in your life on a daily basis? Are you constantly covering for someone else’s mistakes? Are you picking up work you don’t need to be doing? Is your socializing getting in the way of your productivity? Are you wasting time being busy but not productive?

Once you have that list, categorize each item as an Instigator, Spectator, or Participator in your goal to becoming a first-generation millionaire. In looking back and categorizing this list, I want you to start flexing this muscle. Going forward, work on putting anything new in your life or in your journey into one of these three categories. Soon, it will be instantaneous. You will be able to recognize the Spectators and Instigators right off the bat and react to them accordingly. You will also be able to recognize Participators. Those Participators will help you reach your goal.

Have you ever heard the term “trimming the fat”? It’s slang for cutting off and getting rid of and discarding anything that’s hindering you from getting to the good meat. Becoming a first-generation millionaire is your Prime Grade A Meat, and anything attached to you that is holding you back is your fat. This chapter and the exercise that follows will get you to flex a new mental millionaire mindset muscle that most run from.

Your ability or inability to immediately effectively identify Participators can make you or cost you millions. The first-generation-millionaire mindset takeaway for this chapter is this: “From this day forward your mindset is either making you millions or it is costing you millions. There is no in-between.” Adopting this way of thinking is an absolute game changer when it comes to meeting your expectations during this journey.

PILLAR 11