The Flow of Coaching
Where do you start your work as a coach? This chapter suggests a particular flow that has proved useful over the years. As you read, recall particular times when you coached or were coached. How does the flow map onto your experience? Does it show you why the coaching succeeded or failed?
This chapter will serve as an overview of the whole coaching process—what I’m calling the flow of coaching (see Figure 3.1). The presentation is linear and our experiences, conversations, and lives are not. Consequently, the flow is usually not as simple or direct as is shown in the text. The stages are really buoys, which indicate for trained observers where they are on their journey through the bay, and can indicate to the coach how the work is progressing. The point of the chapter is to identify the indicators and provide a framework in which a coach can think and design.
FIGURE 3.1 The Flow of Coaching
As you being to work with this flow, it will make more and more sense to you and at some point you won’t need to refer to it for guidance anymore. Instead, you will naturally move in your own particular way through the various stages of coaching.
Until then, here is a proven structure for you to use. Each stage is distinct; however, the boundaries between stages frequently merge so that it is difficult to determine when one ends and one starts. For learning purposes, though, it’s useful to keep the stages separate and distinct and to speak about each of them individually. The remainder of the book will address each stage in its own chapter. The purpose here is to show you an overview of the flow and the interconnection between the stages. You can use the flow to design your actions and as a diagnostic tool when your coaching isn’t working. When diagnosing, start with the stage you’re on and work backwards, assessing whether you have successfully fulfilled the requirements of each stage. Keep working in this way until you have discovered the exact source of the problem. Correct it at the level at which it appears by providing what’s missing or by revising what has already been done.
Some readers may feel that this is too much structure, that it will inhibit their spontaneity, slow the flow of their natural intuitive responses, or that somehow the structure will become more important than either the interaction or the outcome. You will find in practice, I think, that none of this is the case. Doing coaching is like playing jazz: the coach, like a jazz player, must understand where to begin and where to end, and what a basic structure could be in the moment, while at the same time listening well to the music that the others are playing so as to blend with it and move the entire joint effort forward. Even while a jazz musician is improvising, she is always playing within a structure. That’s why I say that coaching people is like playing jazz. By knowing the structure so well that it fades into the background, the coach has the freedom to creatively respond in the moment, while still being confident that the desired outcomes are being realized.
I will use the example of Bob, which I have referenced earlier, as illustrative of the different stages in the flow of coaching. First I’ll present the theoretical basis for the stage and then I’ll fold in the story of Bob.
By now you’ve seen this word appear again and again in the text, and its meaning here remains the same as earlier. Relationship remains the beginning point of coaching and its foundation. I keep bringing it up because this is the stage that more than any other is neglected, ignored, or considered to be unnecessary. Given that it’s the foundation, it can cause the most problems when it is taken for granted. The basic ingredients for the relationship are mutual trust, respect, and freedom of expression. We will study each of these in turn in the chapter devoted to the coaching relationship.
Sometimes people believe that relationships are natural and either happen or don’t happen, and that any interference in such a “natural” process is a manifestation of some neurotic need to control or be in charge. The type of relationship necessary for coaching is not one that’s based upon “chemistry.” It’s more a matter of openness, communication, appreciation, fairness, and shared commitment. Frequently we’ll find that we are in a position to coach someone who is not the person we would choose to be our best friend or our selection as a dinner companion. There may be no escape from the experience that we like some people more than others. This doesn’t matter in coaching people, however, and it doesn’t matter in building a successful coaching relationship.
Back to the story of Bob. My first task with Bob was to clarify my relationship with him. He wanted to know if I was an agent for the company, brought in to whip him into shape, or if I was working for him. The answer to this question would determine the amount of candor Bob brought to his program. My usual stance in such circumstances is to work for the individual client knowing that if I improve his competence, it will be of benefit to the company as well. Bob did his best to check on my sincerity by presenting potential scenarios in which the direction of my loyalty would be questioned. He asked, “What if I decided to leave the company or what if we found out that my boss really is making biased judgments about me? Or what happens when my boss asks you what is happening in the coaching, what do you do?” I told Bob that I would be giving progress reports to his boss that contained generic information and did not reveal any of the content of the program. I also assured him that when push came to shove, he was my client and I was working for his success, wherever that took him. I went on to tell Bob about other occasions when I had been in similar circumstances and that I followed the same principles then. This was enough to establish a working relationship that would deepen in time.
Some coaches already know their clients very well and the requisite relationship is already in place. At other times the relationship will have to be repaired before the coaching can commence. We will address both of these situations in the chapter on the coaching relationship.
Stage Two: Openings
Coaching, like many other human activities, starts before the actual beginning of the official program. Coaching starts when either the client or the coach encounters an opening for coaching. It seems to me in our day-to-day world, in which we routinely and competently deal with mostly recurring situations, relationships, and conversations, there really isn’t any opening for coaching. Imagine if someone offered to coach you in how you poured your cereal in the morning, how you opened your car door, or how you stood in the elevator on your way to the office. Most of us would think this was very strange or maybe part of a Monty Python movie.
An opening for coaching is necessary. Openings occur when the transparent fabric of our routine is disturbed—either by something breaking down, by an offer someone makes to us, or by a change in circumstance that requires a new skill from us. When one of these openings happens in a domain of life in which we are committed, then there is a chance for coaching. Usually it’s the coach who, being experienced in such matters, recognizes these openings and steps forward with an offer to coach. On other occasions, the potential client may simply recognize a need for assistance and may ask for it without quite knowing what assistance she needs.
Beyond these orienting comments, it’s up to you as the coach to discern when an opening for coaching has occurred. Sometimes the occurrence will be built into the time cycles of your activities, as in annual performance reviews, assessment of the progress of projects, or the beginning of a new budget period. You will know best when these recurring events happen. On other occasions, the opening is not presented by a recurring event but is instead associated with a particular circumstance. Examples include difficult problems, complaints from customers, equipment failure, a crisis within the enterprise, a new possibility in sales or marketing, a promotion, or the requirements of a new position.
The story with Bob is somewhat different from the other openings described because I wasn’t on site to observe the course of day-to-day events. Managers or supervisors who double as coaches will have the chance to stay continually vigilant for openings so that their coaching can have the maximum leverage.
In Bob’s case, my job was to figure out what the real opening for coaching was. Was Bob sincere in asking for coaching or was he merely going through the process because of his boss’s instructions? How open was Bob to taking a look at his own actions, motivations, level of skill, blind spots? If he wasn’t open, the coaching would go nowhere. In speaking with Bob, I determined that there was a simultaneous phenomenon of his ambition meeting the genuine support of his management in the possibility of his promotability.
Stage Three: Assessment
Before coaching can begin, the coach must understand a lot more about the client than what is usually necessary in the day-to-day routine. While your friend who is a physician may give you offhand advice about what to do for a cold, when you go to that same friend’s office you will undoubtedly receive a physical exam so that the particulars of your malady may be identified. Similarly, even when we know someone well, it’s necessary for us to take time to do assessment before we begin to coach him or her.
What may not seem important under most normal circumstances becomes paramount when coaching begins. For example, our enjoyment of the person’s company or the wisdom of her advice may be what we most appreciate about her, but this is usually not relevant in our coaching endeavors. So even though the coach may not feel completely comfortable when doing such an official assessment, it’s a vital step.
The subject of assessment is threefold. First, the level of the client’s competency is assessed. Second, the coach assesses the structure of interpretation of the client. Finally, the coach takes time to study the array of relationships, projects, and practices that make up the life of the client.
Perhaps it’s readily apparent why these three kinds of assessment are necessary. In the chapter dedicated to assessment, I will discuss each in detail. For this section, however, I will simply explain their relevance. In order to know what to include in the coaching intervention, the coach must determine how competent the client is in the topic of the coaching. As you know, the way one works with a beginner is certainly different from the way one coaches an expert. So that the coach knows best how to present and conduct the coaching intervention, she must have an appreciation for the structure of interpretation of the client. That is, the coach must have a general sense of the way the client is in and makes sense of the world. Later, I will provide some models that will make this daunting task seem easier. Finally, the coach must understand what the client is already in the middle of, so that, whatever the form of the coaching intervention, it will be possible for the client to follow through on it with a minimum amount of interference from the rest of life.
The best way I know of doing an assessment when I am brought in from the outside to be a coach involves two parts. The first is to speak with the client and the people who work around him. The second is to observe the client in action. I do this by following the client around for a day or more so that I can begin to understand his world, the way he responds to varying circumstances, and I can have some insight into the environment in which all this takes place. I’ll present the specifics about what I found out about Bob in the chapter on assessment.
Stage Four: Enrollment
Enrollment means making apparent in the coaching relationship the intended outcomes of the program, the client’s commitment to the outcomes, and the coach’s commitment to the same. Presuming enrollment, which is common, leads to many mistakes and misunderstandings. We’ll study the potential mistakes in detail in the chapter on enrollment. In a general way, enrollment mistakes include presuming a level of commitment that the client doesn’t in fact have, acting as if no commitment is necessary from the coach, and not stating in a mutually clear way what the intended outcomes are and what are the potential obstacles to their realization.
Enrollment goes beyond simply asking, “Well, are you up for this?” It’s an active dialogue that takes into account the particulars of the circumstances, the vagaries of the future, and the limitations and strengths of both the client and coach. Openness, honesty, and completeness are vital in enrollment.
You can probably understand in the story of Bob how enrollment naturally flows from the recognition of a genuine opening for coaching. Bob was ambitious and the company had expressed some interest in promoting him, but the question remained, was he willing to do the necessary work? In our conversation I did my best to describe the challenges that would face Bob. He’d have to become familiar with, immersed in, and skillful with the politics of his organization. He would have to become familiar with how decisions were made in processes that would at first not make sense to his logical, analytical, accounting thinking. It was likely that he’d have to become more proficient at presenting his views in a way that coalesced support rather than stirred up resistance. We would be doing all this while also tending to his well-being, maintaining his integrity, and sustaining the fulfillment he had enjoyed in his career until the most recent circumstances.
In a way this enrollment conversation was the other side of the relationship conversation that had happened earlier. This time it was my role to question the depth and sincerity of Bob’s commitment in the face of the “what if?” scenarios I presented. We talked through each one until we were both as confident as we could be that we could resolve each of them by pooling our mutual commitment and expertise. This description may make it sound as if the conversation went really smoothly or that the outcome was clear going in. Neither is the case. The conversation kept looping back on itself until at the end we both felt sure of where we were headed and of each other’s partnership in getting there.
Part of the coach’s job is to determine the scope of the coaching project. Can it be accomplished in one conversation? Will it take a series of conversations? Is a more comprehensive program with assigned practices, milestones, and a communication structure necessary? As a coach you may have an idea about this even before you do some of the earlier stages. Stay open, though, to the fact that your initial conclusion may change as you understand the client and the circumstances in greater detail. I’ve already said what the outcomes of coaching are and have said in a preliminary way how it’s done. I’ll provide a lot more detail on these topics in the chapter on coaching itself. Here, I’d like to remind the coach that the task is to have the client observe something in such a way that competence improves. Even after all the work of the earlier stages, it’s sometimes easy for a coach to slip into a more familiar role of being a teacher or a therapist, or a manager, and many times when we are under pressure, we will return to one of these roles. In fact, one of the reasons for having a structure is to help the coach stay in the role and not slip into territory that may be more comfortable, but not as immediately relevant to the task at hand.
In Bob’s case, I concluded that our coaching ought to take place over a six-month period. During that period we would meet for six half-day meetings and speak on the phone each week. In between, I would assign self-observation exercises and new practices. My intention in all this was to leave Bob independent of me and in possession of the skills necessary for promotion.
Suggested Reading
This is a short list, because the flow of coaching doesn’t appear in any other book. The texts listed here will give you a background for understanding systems and interdependence.
Bethanis, EdD, Susan J. Leadership Chronicles of a Corporate Sage. Chicago: Dearborn Trade Publishing, 2004.
The author has invented an effective way to work with corporate leaders who are very busy, working in global organizations, and accountable for big results. A different method of coaching than the book advocates but originating from similar roots. Extremely pragmatic and humane.
Macy, Joanna. World as Lover, World as Self. Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press, 1991.
This beautiful, moving book explores (with exercises, stories, and examples) the interconnectedness of all life, all phenomena. Terrific background for understanding any system.
Senge, Peter M. The Fifth Discipline. New York: Doubleday, 1990.
This book is about creating learning organizations. It appears here because the fifth discipline of the title refers to systemic thinking, which is central to coaching. The book is well written and well organized, and it is full of real-life examples drawn from the author’s years of experience. Fascinating and worthy of much study.