9

Coaching Conversations

“He has to see on his own behalf and in his own way the relations between means and methods employed and results achieved. Nobody else can see for him, and he can’t see just by being ‘told,’ although the right kind of telling may guide his seeing and thus help him to see what he needs to see.”

—John Dewey

As was said earlier, probably the only activity you will do as a coach is speak to your client. Sometimes you may demonstrate, at other moments you’ll be listening, but the form your coaching mostly will take is speaking with your client. That’s why the earlier section on language has been included. So what do you say to your client? The most abstract way to answer the question is to respond that you say to your client something that will allow him to make a new observation. A more everyday way of answering is that you will speak with your client so that he will be able to see something or understand something or appreciate something that he couldn’t before. But the job of a coach is beyond this way of speaking because the test of coaching will be in the action that the client takes, not only in the observation he can make. So another part of the answer is that the coach speaks in a way that frees the client to take action.

Sometimes the first speaking the coach does at this stage is to point out what the client is currently embedded in. The coach might, for example, say that the complaints that have been received about the client from a major account are probably the result of a misunderstanding about what it is to provide customer service combined with a severe shortage of time. The coach could go on and describe in detail obstacles, both personal and situational, that bind the client into his current behavior. On many occasions, the clarity that this conversation provides will be sufficient to liberate the client from the current situation and leave him open to try something new.

Naturally all of these conversations can only happen if all of the earlier steps in the flow have been attended to. Otherwise, the coach will not be able to speak in a way that makes sense to this particular client or be able to cite specifically what the current reality is. Additionally, if there’s not a strong relationship in place, the client will not be open to hearing what’s said, some of which might be bad news.

Types of Conversation

Having made these preliminary remarks, let’s move to three different types of conversation the coach could have with the client:

• Type One: the single conversation aimed at building or sharpening a competence
• Type Two: a more complex conversation held over several sessions
• Type Three: a profound and longer conversation intended to bring about fundamental change

Given the scope of this book, we’ll spend most of our time studying Type One and Type Two conversations. Because Type Three is more profound, it will bring about deeper change, and readers of an introductory text such as this may be reluctant to enter into such issues with clients. Besides that, in most business situations there is not very much of an opening for engaging in Type Three conversations.

Type One

Here are some examples of situations that probably can be resolved in a single conversation. What will make these conversations coaching is that at the end the client will be more competent. You may already be having these conversations and not calling them coaching, but if it fits the criterion of leaving the client more competent, it is a coaching conversation, regardless of its simplicity or complexity.

• Intervening in aimless complaining
• Responding to a request about how to do something
• Clarifying standards for performance and presentation
• Addressing the lack of phone etiquette in an otherwise cordial person
• Discontinuing the repetition of a simple mistake

Type Two

Type Two conversations are more complex and are usually held over several sessions. Here are some examples of situations that probably require more than one coaching conversation with a client to resolve.

• The client is not being open to the input of others.
• The client is not organized.
• The client is overcommitting himself.
• The client is acting timid and unassertive.
• The client must be trained to install and maintain a complex piece of equipment.

Type Three

Type Three is a longer and more profound conversation intended to bring about fundamental change. Following are some examples of situations that would require this type of conversation.

• Discovering one’s life purpose
• Beginning or ending a primary relationship
• Making long-term financial commitments
• Career change
• Raising children

Type One: Single Conversations

Even a single coaching conversation must have a large background if the products of coaching—long-term excellent performance, self-correction, and self-generation—are to be produced. Don’t let the short duration of time that you invest in the conversation lead you to neglect preparation. That is to say, only when the relationship is in place, you’ve done some assessment, and you have observed an opening for coaching are you in the position to approach your client to resolve a simple issue in a single conversation.

Outline and Example

You’re a sales manager for a group that sells accounting software. About ten salespeople work for you in a fast-paced informal environment. Each salesperson works in a cubicle and you have an office with no door, so it is easy for you to overhear what is happening on the phones. On this particular morning you hear Frank being rude to the point of being obnoxious with one of your largest potential customers. You immediately decide that you must do something about it because you might lose the business, Frank may be doing this with other customers, and other salespeople have overheard Frank and may think that his behavior is acceptable. Here’s how such a conversation might go:

1 Enrollment

• Ask the client for permission to coach.
• Say in general what the outcomes could be.

Coach:	Frank, I just overheard your conversation with the Bank of Tokyo and it sounded to me as if it didn’t go well. I’m wondering if you are open to discussing it with me, so that together we can discover a way that a conversation like that could go better in the future.
Client:	To say it didn’t go well is a bit of an understatement. But you know how those people can be. Pointed in their questions and guarded in their answers, and I can’t figure out what to do. What can I tell you? I got, shall we say, annoyed?

2 Clarifying Intention

Ask the client:

• “What were you attempting to accomplish?”
• “Did it happen?”
• “How could you tell?”

You may think that asking “Why?” or “Why not?” is a more simple way of speaking here, but asking that will usually trigger justification and defensiveness, and what you’re after is giving the client room to step back and observe rather than dig in and generate excuses.

Coach:

So, what were you trying to get done in that call? And were you able to get that done?

Client:

Well, I was trying to find out if they were interested in being able to network their northern California branches together so that they could take advantage of one database located in San Francisco. And I can tell you for sure that didn’t happen. What happened instead was that I had to answer ten technical questions to help them solve problems that they already had and deal with five objections about how expensive our products are.

3 Revealing Thought Process

Ask the client:

• “How did you decide what to do?”
• “How did you analyze the situation?”
• “What were you feeling at the time?”

The idea here is to allow both you and the client to understand as exactly as possible how the action came about. In other words, you are working to reveal the structure of interpretation that led to what the client did. As a coach, it is important throughout all of this to remain calm and open, and to avoid reacting even if you disagree with what the client is saying, or if you find yourself judging the client as stupid or inept. Your judgments won’t help the situation.

Coach:

Okay, Frank, once you got in the middle of that, how did you figure out what to do? What was going on for you? How were you strategizing on your feet, as it were?

Client:

Uh, let’s see.I figured that if I could answer a few questions then they would think I was a good guy and they would open up to me. And then I thought that if I started to sound a little put off by their insistence, that they would stop asking questions and start answering my questions. I was putting them a little bit into my debt so that I could get what I wanted. And as the conversation went on and on, I got more and more frustrated because it seemed like they were willing to take everything I said and not give anything back. That’s probably what you heard in my voice.

4 Invitation to See in a New Way

Given what the client stated as the intended outcome in step two above, you now have a chance to offer a new way of seeing the situation that can lead to more effective action. Here is where many people stop doing coaching and fall into solving problems or telling clients what to do. You will stay out of these temptations if you trust that the client will take the more effective action as soon as he can see it. You will keep coaching if you remain dedicated to providing the distinction and not recommending an action. A simple example is inviting the client who views incoming telephone calls as an interruption to instead view the caller as a customer for whom work is being done and as someone who funds his employment. A simple shift like that can completely reorient the way your client interacts to an interrupting phone call. The new way of interacting leads naturally to our next point.

Coach:

You’re right, the annoyance was obvious. So let’s take a few moments and try and look at the situation in a different way. Probably the most important thing to understand in your relationship with the Bank of Tokyo is patience, patience, patience. I have discovered over the years that big institutions take a long time to make decisions and really have to trust the vendor before they invest. My recommendation to you is that you understand the conversation with a huge bank as a long-term project which may take a year or more to develop, rather than a short-term project which you can close in one conversation or two. What I’m saying is to consider yourself a tree farmer when you are working with institutions, instead of a flower grower who is looking for growth and change every single day. You can count on me to support you in nurturing these long-term relationships and not pressuring you to come to closure quickly. Is what I’m saying making sense to you?

Client:

Yeah, as you talk I’m seeing that a lot of what was going on for me was impatience. They seemed so interested in their last phone call that I thought they really were ready to sign. You know how it is, even though I’ve been in this racket for a year and even though it’s not a deal until we have a contract and a check, I was already imagining driving the new car that I was going to get from this huge commission. So yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ll be more patient and I do appreciate your not being on my case about spending time talking to these folks, or taking them out to lunch, or answering their questions, or whatever it is going to take.

5 New Actions and Offering Support

Stay with steps one through four until you feel confident that each has been accomplished. Then ask your client what new action he will take given the new way the situation is being observed. You can do this by asking, “Now that you are seeing the situation in this new way, what action will you take?” and “How will you be able to correct yourself in the future so that your actions are consistent with your new observation?” Additionally, you can be sure that you will strengthen your partnership with your client if you ask him in what ways you can support him and then take the action that is requested.

Coach:	That’s great, Frank, and you’ve already listed some new actions that you can take. Is there any way I can support you beyond what you’ve already said?
Client:	I don’t think so except maybe I could talk to you after my calls with the bank, and you could give me your best feedback about how it’s going. Maybe you could even come with me on one of the tours they’re going to give us of their main branch next week.
Coach:	I’d be glad to do both of those with you. Let me know when it’s scheduled and I’ll clear my calendar.

The example follows the outline pretty closely, so I won’t take any more time to make the connections which you can probably make just as well yourself. What made the conversation with Frank work was that he could observe how he was being in the phone conversation and see the same situation in a different way. It’s the “seeing it in a new way” that is coaching. It’s what will bring about the products of coaching and leave Frank competent in the future.

Type Two: Several Conversations

As you will recall, Type Two situations require several conversations (see Figure 9.1). I’ll follow the same process as I did with Type One.

FIGURE 9.1 Overview: Type Two Coaching

Conversation Number One

Background

During the first conversation, you formally establish the coaching relationship, which means that you request commitment from your client and promise your commitment. Authentic commitment can only happen after you’ve honestly confronted potential interruptions to the program’s success. The conversation usually begins with a discussion of the opening for coaching that you have observed (see Figure 9.2). Be enrolling and encouraging during this conversation. Remember that your client may be unaware of what you’re speaking about. Be prepared to cite examples, to use metaphors, and to describe your observation in different ways.

FIGURE 9.2 Conversation #1 Overview

Once your client expresses some openness or interest, move to a conversation in which you formally establish the coaching relationship. It is important during the enrollment conversation that you establish your credibility with the client. For this to occur, you must be competent to conduct the program, respectful of your client, and skillful in dealing with concerns, questions, or objections your client expresses.

Speak next about ways in which your client can observe what you are talking about. Before you can do this, you must sufficiently understand your client’s way of observing. Use one of the assessment models to determine this. It is perfectly fine for the client not to completely understand what you’re talking about.

The self-observation exercise that you assign during this conversation will allow your client to come up with his own data. The point is that your client will increase the opening for coaching. Since the point of coaching is to alter the client’s structure of interpretation, it is more important initially to work on observation than on action.

At this juncture, you may have to reenroll your client in the program. Don’t be alarmed. This often occurs, and a review of the conversation up to that point will likely remind your client of the program’s benefits, your support, and your confidence in the client’s success.

Beware any premature impulse you have to move your client into action. You are working toward a major change. Keep focused on the long term. The time you put into the coaching effort will more than pay for itself in the end. Acting this way requires discipline from the coach, which is why it’s important for the coach to continually observe himself (see Chapter 11 on the two tracks of coaching).

End the first conversation by determining specific times and ways of communicating. Specify how available to your client you will make yourself for support. Last of all, schedule the date for Conversation Number Two—usually it’s two to three weeks later.

After all those words, here is a preparation list and a summary outline with an example conversation:

Preparation

• Prepare yourself by using an assessment model to better understand your client (see the Assessment Exercise at the end of this chapter and also Chapter 6).
• Write out a self-observation exercise to give to your client during the session (see the Self-Observation Exercise at the end of this chapter and also Appendix A).
• List three intended outcomes that could be achieved in the coaching program. Modify them as necessary so that they’re suitable for both client and coach.
• Consider what questions, concerns, or objections your potential client may have and be prepared to address them.

Outline

Introduction

• What openings for coaching have you seen?
• Is the client open to being coached?
• What could happen for the client?

Coach:	Susan, I noticed during your presentation in our staff meeting on Tuesday that there were some awkward moments for you. I know I might be putting my foot in my mouth here, but during the question-and-answer period it seemed to me that there were times when you didn’t know what to say or, to be more exact, you really weren’t very open to what the questioner was saying. It seemed as if you had already come to your conclusions and that was that. Now I might be off base here, but that’s how it seemed to me and as I thought back I remembered some other times when I saw the same kind of interactions between you and other people on our team. So, what do you think, Susan? Do you know what I’m talking about?
Client:	What can I say when I’m being, even if it’s in a nice way, accused of not being open? What can I say? I guess I’m open to what you’re saying.
Client:	Well, Susan, that’s really all it’ll take for us to work together on this—you’re open to finding out if what I’m saying holds up or not. It’s my view that some of the recurring problems we have discussed happened partly because of the situation we’re talking about today. So I feel that if we could work on this and support you in being a little bit more open in how you listen to folks, your work would go faster and be interrupted less.
Client:	Well, you know me. I really am interested in getting this stuff out the door and if something I’m doing is getting in the way, I’m willing to find out about it even if it’s not really comfortable. So, how do you think we could do it?

Enrollment

• What you’ll provide
• What you ask of the client
• Possible interruptions and hindrances
• Agreement about outcomes (coach and client write these down)

Coach:	Before we get into that, Susan, I really want you to know that I fully support you in your position and that, in general, I think you’re doing an excellent job. And you can also count on me to support you all the way through this improvement effort that we are talking about today. I’ll carve out time in my calendar so that we can talk about it, and I’ll be patient with you as you are learning and discovering and changing.
Client:	Well that’s good, because the last thing I need is more pressure to get better at this quick while I’m still trying to meet those deadlines at the end of the month.
Coach:	Yeah, I know what you mean and I think it’s possible for us to work on both at the same time since we both are willing to do it and we see that it’s important. The main hindrance I see is time constraints, which I’m sure we can work out between us.
Client:	Okay, well, if we’re going to talk about roadblocks, let me be up front with you and say that I’m not really sure there is a basis for what you said. I don’t want this to look like I’m just going through the motions, so can you explain again what you are talking about?

Exercise

• Give observation exercise
• Answer questions/address concerns

Coach:	My idea is that instead of telling you what I see, I’ll let you discover it for yourself. This is what I mean—for, say, the next two weeks, whenever you are doing a presentation or answering technical questions for somebody, watch yourself very closely. Pay special attention to your mood. I mean how open you feel to the other people in the conversation. Notice if you feel put upon, or pressed, or threatened in any way. Also notice what you say at the end of each of these situations. Take a few moments after the conversation to jot down what you’ve noticed. And then you and I can get together, say, in ten days and go over what you’ve discovered, and we’ll see if there is any basis for what I’m speaking about.
Client:	Listen, boss, I can save you a lot of time. I don’t know what you’re getting at, but I don’t ever feel threatened or pushed or whatever you said.
Coach:	Instead of coming to a conclusion now, let’s take some time and do this observation experiment and see what we come up with. What I’m asking you to do is keep an open mind and be honest with your-self, and not to go by the conclusion you have already made.

Support

• How you will communicate
• How available you are
• Schedule the next session

Client:	It’s only because I really trust you that I am willing to go along with it. But I am willing to along with it, so when I get back to my desk I’ll call up your calendar on my screen and schedule some time at the end of next week and we’ll go from there.
Coach:	Sounds good to me and if you have any questions in the meantime, please call me or send an e-mail message.

Sometimes it doesn’t flow so logically or smoothly, but you could probably tell in this example that it was the strength of the relationship that made it work. The next conversation would happen about ten days later.

Conversation Number Two

Background

During this conversation, the learning from the observation exercise is put into action. By beginning a new practice that you assign, your client will become more competent.

Usually, the conversation begins with a report from the client on what’s happening in the coaching program (see Figure 9.3). This conversation is, in a way, a continuation of the follow-up you’ve had between sessions. You’ll have more time now to address any concerns, questions, or breakdowns in more depth.

FIGURE 9.3 Conversation #2 Overview

Build on what your client reports. Flesh out the observations. Find out together in what ways observation, action, and outcomes are connected. Use what your client reports to strengthen enrollment in the program, review the outcomes to see what progress is being made, and assess the efficacy of your work together. Keep listening to synthesize and to understand your client better.

Next, discuss what new behavior your client could initiate that would bring about the outcomes. See how much your client can suggest given what was observed. Speak about what competence is necessary to successfully perform the behavior. This conversation naturally flows to a talk about new practices.

Introduce the new practice(s) that you designed. Tie the practice(s) to developing competence that will allow the client to achieve the outcomes. Enroll the client in doing the practice(s).

The conversation ends by scheduling the next conversation (three to four weeks later) and planning the follow-up. Your client may require more support during this phase, because initiating a new practice frequently precipitates questions, breakdowns, and changes in behavior.

Preparation

• What do you intend to accomplish in this session?
• What is your assessment of how the coaching program is going? Are there
• any corrections to make?
• What questions or concerns is your client likely to have during this session, especially regarding the new practices? How will you address these?
• What questions do you have for your client?
• Design a practice for your client (see the Practice Exercise at the end of this chapter and also Appendix B).

Outline

Introduction and Connections

• Report from observation exercise
• Determine how program is going
• Show how what the client has observed affects behavior and outcomes
• Acknowledge all positive results
• Review outcomes for program

Coach:	Susan, although I have a pretty good idea from some of the brief conversations we’ve had, I’d like you to, if you would, summarize what you’ve learned from observing yourself in the way that we spoke about last time we met.
Client:	Well, I saw that there was probably more to what you had seen than I was willing to admit before. And I’m not exactly happy with it now but I think you’re right—I have to relax a bit more and not be so anxious when people start pressing in on me. Otherwise, it starts to look like I don’t know what I’m doing or I’m trying to hide something.
Coach:	That was exactly the point of having you observe—so that you could come to your own conclusions based upon direct observation. I caution you about something—it’s likely that you’ve been doing this for a while and it has become a habitual response, and so it won’t change by just wishing that it were different. It’s going to take a concentrated, sustained effort that’s very focused.
Client:	Why am I getting the distinct idea that you have something in mind?

Changes and New Practice

• Talk about initiating new behavior: moving toward outcomes, building upon results so far
• What competence the new behavior will take
• Introduce new practice
• Integrate practice into program
• Answer questions and concerns
• Enroll client in doing practice

Coach:

Funny you should mention that. Here is my idea. It’s that you start a new way of preparing for your presentations and a new way of conducting yourself during them. Besides the usual thorough research you do, look through the list of people who are attending the meeting and ask yourself what questions, objections, or concerns they are likely to bring up, and then answer them in your own way before you go into the meeting. Second, while you’re conducting your presentation or are in a technical conversation with somebody, keep observing the way you did before. When you begin to detect the earliest sign of closing down, ask yourself one of two questions. The first one is, “What is threatening me?” Second is, “Is there any real reason to feel threatened?” By asking yourself these two questions, you will undoubtedly find that you’re not being threatened. Sometimes people may make points at your expense or have some political agenda going on, and sometimes people really don’t know what they are talking about and they’re just swinging away. The questions will remind you of all of that and return you to the presentation you have prepared. On the rare occasions when the questions don’t bring this about, say this to the person who you feel is threatening you: “I’m unclear about what you’re attempting to accomplish with your remarks. Can you please take a moment to explain it to me, so that I may be more responsive to you?” While your question is being answered, you can regroup and, by listening to the response, get a better idea about what the person is up to.

Support

• Schedule next time to speak
• Schedule next session

Client:	Okay, I’ll try it. What I think I’ll do is write those questions on the top of each page of my notes so that I can refer to them if needed. I especially like your third point about how I can speak to somebody who is starting to sound offensive in a way that doesn’t sound defensive, but does move the conversation forward.
Coach:	That’s the idea. So why don’t you try this out for the next month or so and then we’ll meet and see how it went?
Client:	Okay, boss, you got it.

Conversation Number Three

Background

The challenge now is to complete the program leaving enough structure and competence in place so that your client remains self-correcting and self-generating (see Figure 9.4). Several pitfalls may appear during this part of the program.

FIGURE 9.4 Conversation #3 Overview

Pitfall #1:	Client, in spite of observed outcomes, is convinced that no change has happened or that it was circumstantial or that it won’t last. Remedy: Your client has demonstrated some competence. Continual practice will ensure continual improvement. Remind your client of the distinctions between outcomes/competence and negative assessment/mood.
Pitfall #2:	Client feels/thinks/concludes that it’s only by your continuing to coach that competence will remain or outcomes will continue to happen. Remedy: Review what has happened with your client. The client made the commitment, did the work, made the changes, and consequently, brought about the outcomes.
Pitfall #3:	Your client says nothing has happened. Competence has not improved. No progress has been made on the outcomes. There’s an edge of disappointment/despair/resignation, or maybe cynicism/skepticism, and maybe some accusation/antagonism directed at you. Remedy: Stay open. There’s no need to defend. Examine what has happened—in every case something has improved, so it’s a matter of the speed of the improvement, not its existence. Advise your client to be patient. Add additional observation exercises, practices, or sessions as necessary. In extreme cases, take what you’ve both learned in the program and begin again at Conversation One. Be sure to redo all of the steps, especially your assessment of the client.

If there are no pitfalls, or after you have worked through them, acknowledge progress in all parts of the client’s life, and show the client his new competence and the outcomes of it in all domains.

Speak about the new ways that people can trust and rely upon your client. In other words, talk about the new identity the client has begun to establish. Discuss what new possibilities this opens up for your client.

Preparation

• Read over your notes from the follow-up conversation(s)
• Review the outcomes for the program
• Have many examples of your client’s new competencies
• Answer/address the questions in the summary outline

Outline

The example cited does not address all of the points listed in the outline. That’s because the coach and the client have an ongoing relationship in which these topics will eventually get discussed. In situations where there is not as much day-to-day contact, it probably makes more sense to address the topics of “Acknowledging Progress” in all domains and “The Future” in more detail.

Introduction

• Report results of new practice
• Progress on outcomes
• What openings? What breakdowns?

Pitfalls (if necessary)

• Identification
• Staying open to what client says
• Reminding client of outcomes
• Leaving client self-correcting and self-generating
• Adding observation exercises, practices, or sessions as necessary
• Beginning program again if required

Acknowledging Progress

• In all domains, not only coaching topics

  •  New possibilities for client

  •  new relationships?

  •  new identity?

• new conversations?

  •  New learnings

  •  about self?

  •  about others?

  •  about work?

  •  about becoming competent?

The Future

• Addressing potential breakdowns

  •  what to look for

  •  actions to take

• Continuing to improve

  •  in what?

  •  new practices?

Example of Conversation Number Three

The conversation might go something like this. No pitfalls are encountered, but I suggest you prepare for them.

Coach:	Well, from reading your e-mail messages, it sounds as if the ideas we came up with are working pretty well for you.
Client:	That’s right. I can’t say that it’s gone perfectly. There have been a few times when I feel like I have blown it, but there is probably a 75 or 80 percent improvement. The one guy I still can’t figure out is Kevin Brown—you know, that new college kid in marketing? He seems to make himself into a human bulldozer whenever I start talking. And I have said the equivalent of “shut up” to him on several occasions in the last month.
Coach:	Here is my advice. Take him out to lunch and find out what his story is. Find out if it’s just his style and that’s how he is with everyone, or if there is some way you’ve offended him or what. Perhaps you can set up a kind of signal you can give each other when it looks as if either one of you is going to get into it, and then you can handle it outside of the meeting.
Client:	Well I’m willing to try that and maybe if that doesn’t work, you can give it a try talking to him.
Coach:	I’m willing to do that if we have to but I don’t think it’s going to be necessary. My guess is that you’ll be able to handle it just fine.
Client:	I appreciate your confidence in me and I do feel more able to keep myself out of trouble these days. Do you have any ideas about how I could keep getting better at this or do you feel like, you know, I’m as good as I’m going to get?
Coach:	Well, maybe the next step you could take is to ask yourself questions like, “What question am I not answering that makes this questioner keep pressing in on me?” or, “What is it about the way that I’m speaking that is stirring up the response I’m getting?” My point is that you can start to hear yourself from other people’s points of view while you’re in the middle of speaking. That way you can correct yourself in the middle.
Client:	Well, what you’ve said so far is really good, so I’m willing to go with these other suggestions as soon as I feel more able to handle what I’ve already started.

Summary

By now you may have forgotten where all of this began, which is with the premise of coaching. The principle of coaching is to provide language and practice that alter the structure of interpretation of the client. The coach in the examples above did that. From time to time the coach did more than that and gave specific instructions about specific activities. Perhaps these actions could even be considered coaching because the intent was to leave the client competent and not merely to solve the problem.

Type Three

Type One and Type Two conversations will probably cover any conversations you have at work. The coaching situation with Bob is a good illustration of a Type Three conversation, so I will reference that work in the outline below.

Type Three conversation may be what you employ in coaching people outside of the work environment or with people with whom you have a profound relationship. The design elements are more intricate and probably will require more thinking on your part. But this additional work will more than justify itself in the depth and longevity of the changes brought about.

Some questions to address while designing the conversation are:

1 How will you specifically recognize the fulfillment of the coaching program? List observable phenomena.

Observable phenomena are changes that both the client and the coach can observe and agree on. Examples are speaking up more in meetings, initiating new programs, completing projects on time. Being clear in your thinking, feeling better about yourself, and having more certainty are not phenomena that can be observed by both the coach and client and therefore are best not listed as outcomes for the program.

In Bob’s case, the program would be complete when:

A.  He was promoted.

B.  He was competent to deal successfully with the political environment at work.

C.  He was able to take the necessary steps to continue on his upward career path.

D.  He was able to do all of this while still attending to his commitments outside of work, including his family and his own well-being.

2 What distinctions must the client incorporate in order to fulfill the outcome as specified?

To address this you’ll have to think in a new way. Instead of trying to figure out what new actions the client must take, ask yourself what the client must be able to observe in order to take this new action. For example, the client must be able to observe when he is interrupting a conversation, when he is continuing to put off taking action, or when he has stopped listening. The word incorporate is used in its literal sense, that is, that distinctions must become part of the body of the client. These distinctions become incorporated when they become part of a practice that is repeated again and again.

The important distinctions for Bob were:

A.  That he listened from the point of view of a leader in the organization and not just a manager in the accounting department.

B.  That he could detect levels of meaning and not obvious intentions in the speaking of others at work.

C.  That he could detect who was trustworthy.

D.  That he could observe when his communication was having the intended effect.

E.  That he could observe as soon as his life began to go out of balance.

3 What distinctions (e.g., belief, fear, negative assessment) must the client abandon?

Perhaps this point is already clear, but with adult learners the greatest difficulty is in letting go of what is hindering learning. As coaches we often make the mistake of only pointing out new distinctions, new practices, and new actions and forget that there may be ways of observing and acting that are in the way. Clearly, it will take a period of observation to come to some understanding about what these distinctions are for a particular client.

From your reading of my case study with Bob, you probably could fill in this category yourself. Nonetheless, here are the distinctions I felt he must abandon:

A.  Being obsessed with factual truth rather than the interpretation of events that was being acted upon at the job.

B.  His strongly felt opinion that merely doing good work would lead to the recognition he wanted.

C.  That office politics were below him and that he could ignore them.

D.  That everyone should of course know about his good intentions and appreciate him for them.

4 What life-world structures (habits, relationships, practices, etc.) maintain the hindering distinctions?

In order to bring about the outcomes of the program, the client will have to undo structures that are getting in the way. For example, a client who is working on being able to listen better may have to give up the habit of working on his computer during conference calls, or flipping through his messages when a colleague is having a conversation with him. These are small examples, but I’m sure you can get the point.

For Bob to make progress he had to give up these life-world structures that had supported him up until now:

A.  Micromanaging his department and personally verifying every number on every report they published.

B.  Complaining about decisions upper management made instead of looking at the forces that shaped the decisions.

C.  Keeping quiet during meetings and letting his reports speak for themselves.

5 What exercise(s)/practice(s) can you assign that will allow your client to observe these distinctions and structures?

This is designing a breakdown. Assign an observation exercise to your client, the point being for him to find out for himself the importance of the program.

Following are some of the self-observation exercises I asked Bob to engage in during our six-month program:

Focus: Gaining Strength—Initiating

• Invent, by declaration, an internal separation in yourself. Divide yourself into two persons, one who acts/reacts in life and one who observes and is passive in life.
• Using the following questions, begin to observe yourself in life. Observe quietly, passively. Observe your internal states as well as what you show the world.
• At the end of each day, scan through your day and note what happened and how you reacted. You may want to write notes so you can begin to notice patterns.

1. What actions, conversations, or relationships did you initiate?
2. What other actions, conversations, or relationships were there that you wanted to initiate but didn’t? How are you justifying that?
3. What actions, conversations, or relationships will you initiate next? How can you ensure that what you initiate will be effective/satisfying?
4. What are you learning about yourself and initiating? How and when will you take what you’re learning into action?

Focus: Gaining Strength—Making Decisions

• Invent, by declaration, an internal separation in yourself. Divide yourself into two persons, one who acts/reacts in life and one who observes and is passive in life.
• Using the following questions, begin to observe yourself in life. Observe quietly, passively. Observe your internal states as well as what you show the world.
• At the end of each day, scan through your day and note what happened and how you reacted. You may want to write notes so you can begin to notice patterns.

This exercise has two parts. Please attend to both parts each day.

Part I

1. What important decisions did you make?
2. How did you make those decisions?
3. Was there any conflict around your decisions? How did you deal with the conflict?
4. How do you feel about the decisions you made today? What are you learning about yourself and your decisions? How and when will you take your learning into action?

Part II

1. What decisions did you avoid making? What justifications, excuses, or stories did you employ in your avoidance?
2. When will you make the decisions?
3. What decisions will you make tomorrow? Write them down.

Use Part I and Part II of this exercise to support you in making decisions.

Focus: Gaining Strength—Making Requests

• Invent, by declaration, an internal separation in yourself. Divide yourself into two persons, one who acts/reacts in life and one who observes and is passive in life.
• Using the following questions, begin to observe yourself in life. Observe quietly, passively. Observe your internal states as well as what you show the world.
• At the end of each day, scan through your day and note what happened and how you reacted. You may want to write notes so you can begin to notice patterns.

This exercise has two parts. Please attend to both parts each day.

Part I

1. What requests did you make?
2. How successful were your requests (i.e., did what you requested happen)?
3. What made your requests successful?
4. How do you feel about your requests? What are you learning about yourself and requesting? When and how will you take what you’re learning into action?

Part II

1. What requests did you avoid making? How are you justifying that?
2. When will you make the requests?
3. What requests will you make tomorrow? Write them down. What can you do to increase the likelihood that your requests will succeed?

Use Part I and Part II of this exercise to support you in making successful requests.

Focus: Gaining Strength—Pushing Back

• Invent, by declaration, an internal separation in yourself. Divide yourself into two persons, one who acts/reacts in life and one who observes and is passive in life.
• Using the following questions, begin to observe yourself in life. Observe quietly, passively. Observe your internal states as well as what you show the world.
• At the end of each day, scan through your day and note what happened and how you reacted. You may want to write notes so you can begin to notice patterns.

Pushing back means declining a request, publicly questioning someone else’s assumptions, stating what you’d prefer instead of what’s being offered, refusing to be characterized or pigeonholed, avoiding being manipulated—all done with as much respect, tact, and skill as possible.

1. In what ways did you push back in relationships, conversations, meetings?
2. What happened from your pushing back? How did you feel? Did it produce any conflict? How did you respond to the conflict?
3. Did you feel like pushing back and not do it? How are you justifying that? What were the consequences of not pushing back, especially in terms of your emotions, mood, energy?
4. What are you learning about yourself and pushing back? How and when will you take your learning into action?

Focus: What Are My Resources?

This assignment is slightly different. It’s an inventory you complete by both observation and research.

1. What are your greatest strengths professionally and personally?
2. Who is part of your network of support? What specific support does each person provide?
3. What does it take for you to live the way you do? Specifically address the question in terms of:

   •  monthly expenses (include yearly items such as property taxes, etc. by dividing them by 12)

   •  hours dedicated to job (include travel), work at home, your spouse/lover, your children, meal preparation, cleaning, maintenance of home, clothes, car, etc.

   •  emotional energy

   •  hours devoted to self-care

   •  any other costs, physical, mental, or monetary

4. What resources do you have to address all the costs listed in #3 above?
5. What are you learning in this exercise? Does your costs/resources analysis require any changes on your part? What new actions will you take from what you’re discovering?

Focus: What Do I Want for the Future?

This assignment is slightly different. It’s an inventory you complete by both observation and research. Please answer the following questions this week.

For each time frame listed, please answer the questions below.

Time Frame

6 months

1 year

2 years

5 years

10 years

20 years

Questions

1. What do you want to be doing?
2. Whom do you want in your life? In what capacity?
3. What resources do you want to have?
4. What experiences do you want to be having?
5. In what ways do you want to be growing/learning?
6. In what other way could you describe your life?

Focus: Accomplishments at Work

• Invent, by declaration, an internal separation in yourself. Divide yourself into two persons, one who acts/reacts in life and one who observes and is passive in life.
• Using the following questions, begin to observe yourself in life. Observe quietly, passively. Observe your internal states as well as what you show the world.
• At the end of each day, scan through your day and note what happened and how you reacted. You may want to write notes so you can begin to notice patterns.

1. What did you actually accomplish at work today?
2. What will this accomplishment move forward?
3. How did you decide to accomplish this?
4. What action will you take from what you observed in this exercise?

Focus: Challenging Others at Work

• Invent, by declaration, an internal separation in yourself. Divide yourself into two persons, one who acts/reacts in life and one who observes and is passive in life.
• Using the following questions, begin to observe yourself in life. Observe quietly, passively. Observe your internal states as well as what you show the world.
• At the end of each day, scan through your day and note what happened and how you reacted. You may want to write notes so you can begin to notice patterns.

1. Whom did you challenge today?
2. Why?
3. What were all the outcomes of this challenge?
4. What action(s) will you take from what you have observed in this exercise?

Focus: Insistence at Work

• Invent, by declaration, an internal separation in yourself. Divide yourself into two persons, one who acts/reacts in life and one who observes and is passive in life.
• Using the following questions, begin to observe yourself in life. Observe quietly, passively. Observe your internal states as well as what you show the world.
• At the end of each day, scan through your day and note what happened and how you reacted. You may want to write notes so you can begin to notice patterns.

1. What did you insist upon today?
2. How did you justify your insistence?
3. What were the effects of your insistence upon yourself? Upon your work relationships?
4. What action(s) will you take from what you have observed in this exercise?

6. What Practices can you Assign that Will Incorporate the New Distinctions (From #2 Above)?

Designing practices takes creativity. If you’ve done a thorough job of addressing question #2, you will have an easier time of designing practices. Practices are meant to give the client a chance to make a new distinction over and over again, and then to follow up with an action which flows from that new observation. Perhaps remembering how you learned how to do something yourself will help you out in designing practices. What did you go through in learning to drive a car? Certainly the practice wasn’t simply to get in and drive around! That might sound silly, but that is what some people consider practice to be—just go and do it, rather than take the steps necessary in order to do it competently. It’s as if you told the person whom you were coaching in typing to just sit down and start typing, instead of going through all of the different exercises and practices it takes to really learn how to do it.

Here is a sample of the major practices I asked Bob to do during his program:

Focus: Discovering the Concerns of Others

For each of the people listed below, answer the following questions. Do research to find the answers; don’t merely speculate on your own. Remember that the answers will keep changing. You will provide baseline information for yourself by doing the exercise. Additionally, you will begin to strengthen your ability to think and observe in bigger contexts.

People

1. Your peers
2. Your boss
3. Your boss’s boss
4. Your three top internal customers
5. Your three top external customers
6. Your subordinates
7. The executive managing your part of the company
8. The CEO
9. The Chairman and two other board members
10. The person holding the job you want next

Questions

1. What practices can you assign that will incorporate What are the three top business concerns of this person?
2. What is the career path of this person (past and future)?
3. What does this person value in a business associate?
4. What is this person’s business agenda for the next six months, twelve months, two years, five years, ten years?
5. What is this person’s style—of working, of leadership, of communicating?

Focus: Building a Network of Support

Part 1

Go back to your findings in the previous section, “Discovering the Concerns of Others.” For each person listed (and for the additional people noted below), ask yourself the following questions. Then take the appropriate action to expand/extend your network of support.

People

1. Your peers
2. Your boss
3. Your boss’s boss
4. Your three top internal customers
5. Your three top external customers
6. Your subordinates
7. The executive managing your part of the company
8. The CEO
9. The Chairman and two other board members
10. The person holding the job you want next

Additional People

• Your counterparts in other parts of the company
• Experts in the political environment of the company
• The people you admire at work
• The people making decisions about your career

Questions

1. What concerns or breakdowns can I alleviate for this person?
2. What information, support, or guidance can I offer to this person?
3. In what other ways can I support this person?

Part 2

Make a list of people at work who can be part of your network of support. Use the questions that follow to prompt your thinking. Keep your eyes open for new people to include.

1. What concerns/breakdowns do I currently have that someone can support me in?
2. What concerns/breakdowns do I anticipate having that someone can support me in?
3. What input, information, or guidance would make my current work easier? My future clearer?
4. Whose actions don’t I understand? Who could shed light on them for me?
5. What future decision/policy would I like to know about in advance? Who could help me with this?

Focus: The Big Picture

By addressing the following questions, you will have a solid understanding of the big picture at your company.

1. What are the top five specific threats to your company during the next year? The next five years? The next ten years? What ought your company do about them?
2. What specific economic or political situations will impact your company most in the next year, the next five years, the next ten years? Answer this for your company as a whole, and for each major business. Then do it by geographical area: United States and North America, Asia, Europe, South America, Africa. What will the impact be? What ought your company do in response?
3. What people, both within and outside of your company, will have the most influence upon the company? What will the influence be?

7 What are the Likely Potential Breakdowns in your Client’s Enacting these Practices?

The breakdowns will be in both beliefs and emotions, as well as in the existing constraints of time and energy, priorities, resources, and so on. Again, it will take observation of your client over time to determine what these potential breakdowns might be.

The breakdowns I predicted for Bob were:

A.  He would become discouraged by the complexity of the changes necessary.

B.  He would become impatient with how long the program took.

C.  He would make the judgment that he didn’t have the necessary skills or temperament to be an executive.

8 What will these Breakdowns Reveal to your Client? Should you Allow the Breakdowns to Happen or Try to Prevent them?

Breakdowns aren’t bad. In fact, in a recent survey of executives, researchers learned that it’s within breakdowns that leaders learn the most. If a breakdown is too disruptive to your client, however, he may stop the coaching program. Weigh the benefits of what will be revealed against the emotional and situational impact of the breakdown.

I was very aware that I would have to keep reenrolling Bob as his program went along. Usually during breakdown I would remind him of the purpose of our program and I would point out that it was actually good news to find out in a concrete way what was hindering his forward progress. Although it may have been uncomfortable at the time when he made such discoveries, it was these insights that showed Bob what had been getting in the way so that he could take some appropriate action. It was my preparation for and sensitivity to these breakdowns that ensured that Bob would move toward his goals.

9 What Support Will your Client Require During the Program, Especially During Breakdown?

From knowing your client, take a moment to consider this point and prepare for both the breakdowns you are anticipating and the inevitable ones that will come unexpectedly.

Bob did a lot of his processing by writing in a journal and speaking with me on the phone. These two activities seemed sufficient to support Bob.

10 Who can Provide Support for Your Client?

The point here is that others besides you can support your client. A major program such as the one we are in the middle of discussing will require challenging, difficult changes in your client’s orientation and behavior. It makes a lot of sense to have other people available to provide information and emotional support. I recommend that you don’t make yourself into the equivalent of a heart and lung machine for your client. Doing so will not leave your client independent and it will leave you unnecessarily constricted in your own freedom of action.

Besides me, Nancy was available to support Bob, and as he built alliances with upper management, people in those ranks also began to support him.

11 How Could you Structure this Coaching Program?

• What will be its duration?
• How often will you and your client meet? What will be the duration of these meetings?
• How much time will this program demand of your client? What other resources?
• How often will you communicate? In what form?
• How available will you make yourself to your client?

Address all these points in your design and be open to changing them according to what happens when you present the program to your client and as the program progresses.

Bob’s program lasted six months. We met for six half-days and spoke with each other on the phone weekly. The exercises I asked Bob to do probably took between two and four hours a week. I told Bob I would be available to him outside of our scheduled times if he encountered something requiring our immediate attention. That did in fact happen on several occasions during his program. I didn’t tell Bob that I was available 24 hours a day. I did warn him that because of my other work, I might not be able to get back to him immediately in all cases. That was fine with him.

12 What Metaphor(s) Could you use to Show the Outcome of the Program to your Client?

Let me simply give you some examples of this. For someone who is becoming very distracted in the completion of a project, you could say that currently his work is like a pipe full of steam that has loose joints that allow the steam to escape and therefore diminish the power of the apparatus. After the coaching, the client’s work would be like a pipe with no leaks, so that the full heat and pressure of the steam can be applied to the machine. For someone who is disorganized and has to reorganize himself each day or even each hour, perhaps you could use the metaphor of reading a book, so that being disorganized is like having to begin at page one again and again, while being organized allows one to pick up where one left off without any loss of time or effort. For a client who is not being assertive, perhaps you can use the metaphor of a diamond that is covered with dust, alluding to the fact that there is nothing wrong with the diamond and that it’s simply a matter of cleaning it off so that its true brilliance can shine—the connection being that overcoming nonassertiveness is not a matter of the client being adequate but of there being something in the way of his adequacy coming across to others. Metaphors can be very memorable for your clients and can be used to give them an intuitive feel for what success in the program will be like.

The essential metaphor I kept returning to with Bob was that his executive potential was like oil buried deep beneath the ground, which would only become valuable when it was brought to the surface. Given that he worked for an oil company, this was an apt description for the task of showing his aptitude for leadership to the people who could promote him.

13 What Paperwork (Calendars, Worksheets, etc.) Would Support your Client?

The more support you can give to your client the better. What have you used to remind yourself, to keep yourself organized, or keep yourself focused on your work?

I gave Bob all of the practices and self-observation exercises in printed form so that he did not have to remember them. I also provided him with a loose-leaf binder with tabs for the purpose of the program, his journal, current self-observation, current practice, and notes.

14 How can you Present this Program to your Client? What Questions is your Client Likely to Have? What Concerns? What Objections? How can you Address these?

Sometimes I wonder if the food tastes better in a restaurant that has beautiful furniture, or if we really do trust a salesperson who is well dressed. In any case, take as much care in the presentation of your program as you did in designing it. That way you’ll ensure an open acceptance by your client.

From my understanding of Bob, I guessed that the most important aspect of enrolling him in doing all of this work was establishing my credibility. It was important for him to know that I had coached other people successfully in accomplishing what he was setting out to do. I did this by telling him stories of other coaching programs and reminding him of these stories from time to time.

In developing yourself as a coach, I recommend that you begin with Type One conversations, then move to Type Two and Type Three as you grow more competent. Don’t try brain surgery before you know how to administer first aid.

Assessment Exercise

Use these questions to prepare for Conversation Number One. Base your assessment upon actual observations.

1. What opening did you observe for coaching?

   •  breakdown (specify)

   •  enhancing a competence (specify)

   •  new possibility for client (specify)

   •  threat to social identity (specify)

2. What new competence or quality must your client have to address the situation described in #1 above?
3. What is your potential client’s current competence in doing this? Write down at least three examples of behavior that verify your assessment.

Using at least one model, determine the structure of interpretation of your potential client.

• Five Elements Model

  •  Immediate concerns

  •  Commitments

  •  Possibilities

  •  Mood

  •  Current history

• Domains of Competence Model

  •  Facts and events

  •  Relationships with others

  •  Self-management

• Components of Satisfaction/Effectiveness Model

  •  Intellect

  •  Emotion

  •  Will

  •  Context

  •  Soul

Self-Observation Exercise

Use these questions to design an observation exercise to present to your client at Conversation One. A sample exercise follows the questions.

1. What is to be observed?
2. What is the duration of the exercise?
3. What is the frequency of observation?
4. What are the exact instructions for this exercise?

Practice Exercise

Use these questions to design a practice to present to your client for Conversation Two. A new practice exercise is a combination of action and reflection which captures learning and connects it back to action so that competence improves. An example of a practice is on the following page.

1. What repeated behavior can your client do that will improve his competence?
2. How will your client know if the action(s) is successful? What are the standards?
3. What specifically will you ask your client to reflect upon while doing this practice?
4. What will be the duration and structure of the practice?
5. What are the exact instructions for this exercise?

Suggested Reading

The listed books offer many different approaches to coaching. None is applicable to all clients. Each is useful for particular clients. By becoming familiar with many of them, a coach will be able to work successfully with a wide array of people. If you’re interested in reading only a few, I recommend the following in the order listed:

1. Educating the Reflective Practitioner, Donald Schön
2. The Path of Least Resistance, Robert Fritz
3. Shambhala, Chögyam Trungpa

Adams, & James, L (1986). The Care and Feeding of Ideas. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley Publishing Company.

A primer in fostering and supporting creativity and innovation.

Anderson, & Nancy. (1984). Work with Passion. New York: Carroll & Graf Publishers, Inc.

A practical guide, replete with exercises and examples, that directs the reader in finding a career of passion and purpose.

Argyris, & Chris. (1990). Overcoming Organizational Defenses. Boston: Allyn and Bacon.

The author is a founder of the organizational development discipline. He explains how it’s possible for very intelligent people to come together in a group and have their intelligence cut in half. Additionally, he presents many examples of how organizations populated by well-meaning people “protect” themselves from change. From his own experience, he recommends ways to overcome the defenses.

Beckett, Liana, & Stephanie Covington (1988). Leaving the Enchanted Forest. San Francisco: Harper & Row.

A text intended to break the spell that romantic love has cast over many people in our culture. Contains useful exercises. (See also Solomon: About Love.)

Bradshaw, & John. (1988). Bradshaw On: The Family. Beach, FL: Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield.

Proposes that many emotional/psychological problems have their sources in the dynamics of family relationships. The patterns of response and reaction learned in the family will likely appear at some point in an extended coaching program. The book’s distinctions can help you recognize these patterns for what they are.

Burns, & David, D. (1980). Feeling Good. New York: Signet Classics.

An introduction to cognitive therapy, which is based upon the premise that thought initiates feelings and moods. Can be helpful in designing self-observation exercises, and as a framework for dealing with troubling experiences.

Dail, & Lee, Hilda (1983). The Lotus and the Pool. Boston: Shambhala Publications.

Presents a process for finding a suitable career (based upon long experience). The approach is based upon profound human values. The book has useful exercises and practical advice.

DePree, & Max. (1989). Leadership Is an Art. New York: Doubleday.

Reading this book is like sitting under a palm tree in a beautiful oasis while a cool breeze caresses your face. Deeply human. Credible because of the undeniable success of the author. Inspiring.

Fournies, & Ferdinand, F. (1978). Coaching for Improved Work Performance. Blue Ridge Summit, PA: Tap Books, Inc.

Not a book on coaching as presented in this text. Rather, it’s a tract on how to use the tenets of behaviorism to manipulate the behavior of others. Why would professional people tolerate being treated the way the author recommends?

Fritz, & Robert. (1984). The Path of Least Resistance. New York: Ballantine Books.

Proposes a methodology for creating goals and a structure that supports their fulfillment. Especially useful in preventing the excuses, justifications, and self-defeating behavior people engage in around goals. Valuable background for any coach.

Goldstein, Joseph, & Kornfield, Jack (1987). Seeking the Heart of Wisdom. Boston: Shambhala Publications.

How to work skillfully with our human condition. Full of exercises and recommended practices that can be taken on for life. Well written, friendly, and nondogmatic.

Kinlaw, & Dennis, C. (1989). Coaching for Commitment. San Diego, CA: University Associates, Inc.

A collection of some of the best techniques of reflective listening, open-ended questioning, supportive speaking, and so on. Based upon the varied and extensive experience of the author. The presentation is clear and well organized.

Kornfield, & Jack. (1993). A Path with Heart. New York: Bantam Books.

Written by a meditation teacher who is also a clinical psychologist, the text is a compassionate sharing of what he’s learned of the spiritual path through personal experience and working with thousands of students. Thorough, understandable, and unflinching in dealing with pitfalls on the path, from students using it to deny/avoid psychological pain to teachers who exploit students. Each chapter has suggested exercises and practices. A valuable resource.

MacIntyre, & Alasdair. (1981). After Virtue. London: Gerald Duckworth & Co.. reprint, Notre Dame, IN: University of Notre Dame Press, 1981.

An examination of morality in an historic, philosophical context. Very useful for coaches in showing the fundamental importance of practices in determining who we are.

Schön, & Donald, A. (1987). Educating the Reflective Practitioner. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, Inc.

This book (and The Reflective Practitioner, which follows) reveals the way professionals actually work, not by applying formulae, but by learning and correcting as they go. By studying diverse disciplines, the author shows how one can reflect-in-action and how a coach can contribute. Useful, readable, and realistic.

The Reflective Practitioner1983. New York: Basic Books, Inc.

Solomon, & Robert, C. (1988). About Love. New York: Simon & Schuster.

A book that presents a new way to understand and create romance beyond the self-defeating narratives perpetuated by songs, novels, movies, and television. Written by a philosopher with wit, insight, and gentleness. (See Beckett: Leaving the Enchanted Forest.)

Starcevich, Matt, M., & Stowell, Steven J. (1987). The Coach. Salt Lake City, UT: The Center for Management and Organization Effectiveness.

A form of coaching based upon research of successful managers. Straightforward. Applicable to boss/subordinate scenarios at work.

Trungpa, & Chögyam. (1984). Shambhala. Boston: Shambhala Publications.

Makes available the ancient, powerful approach to personal transformation in the Tibetan tradition. Full of wisdom and practical solutions to difficult problems. Shows how to develop compassion, generosity, and acceptance and still lead a day-to-day, in-the-world life.

Woodman, & Marion. (1982). Addiction to Perfection. Toronto: Inner City Books.

A challenging, dense essay written from a Jungian perspective that unravels the inner forces that drive many women to desperate attempts to be perfect in body and behavior.