5
OFFER PRAISE
Pride Is Rocket Fuel
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
—MARK TWAIN
Pride is a social elixir motivating individuals and groups to do their best. We all have an intrinsic desire to be of use, to contribute to the larger community. Recognition of our efforts enables us to stand taller, work harder, and garner sustenance from a sense of importance, of adding value. Lady Gaga sings, “I live for the applause, applause, applause.”
Pride is a form of investment currency. Like saying please and thank you, praise is free, effective, and in great demand. Praise can be deployed by people at all rungs of the organizational ladder. Spread it liberally to enhance satisfaction at work, but be sure it’s deserved. Weak praise can sound like empty flattery and undermine later efforts that genuinely warrant acknowledgment. Praising successive approximations to a goal is motivating as it recognizes progress rather than perfection and allows for more frequent genuine appreciation (and chances to establish a positive connection).
Robert Cialdini’s Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion is the salesperson’s bible. A key learning is that most people are phenomenal suckers for flattery. We are more willing to cooperate with those who find good in what we do. If you compliment your colleagues, they will behave in ways that validate your assessment. After all, they have a reputation to live up to!
While most bosses believe they dole out praise frequently, I rarely meet an employee who feels that management sufficiently values their achievements. And speaking of the folks in charge, they may have corner offices, upgraded seats on the plane, and bigger bonuses, but the grande fromage has feelings, too. Creating a workplace that respects our shared humanity is a mutual responsibility. It’s lonely at the top. If your boss is about to take the podium, give them a nod of confidence. If you see your team leader in the halls during performance review period, step outside your own anxiety to ask, “What’s it like for you?” and offer appreciation for their efforts. Writing and delivering appraisals is an onerous annual process.
Keep this statistic in mind: it takes five positive comments to counteract the demoralizing impact of one negative remark—so be on the alert for chances to praise generously.
THIS IS FOR YOU IF
• You are confident in what you’ve accomplished.
• There’s a sense that you grab too much of the spotlight (and credit).
• Energy is low; emotions are high.
• Your team is recovering from the effects of a nasty, competitive, or negative influence.
TAKE ACTION
Enhance thank you’s by adding praise for a colleague’s unique contribution. Start tomorrow. Look over your calendar. Who has amazed or amused you this week? Take a minute to set the context. Tell your coworker why what they did matters to you, and the larger group. It can be something as simple as noticing that the learning specialist was smiling in the cold and rain as she greeted the kids coming off the bus. Let her know that you appreciated how she set a positive tone for the day.
Recognize early wins. Connect your colleague’s contribution to the larger, long-term organizational goals. When creating the agenda for progress meetings, set aside five minutes for appreciation. You don’t have to be the boss to suggest taking time to recognize your peers.
Don’t delay praise. Be specific and genuine.
The most powerful form of praise matches what recipients highly value about themselves. If your coworker holds community service in high esteem, find ways to comment on how their work has benefited the neighborhood where your business is located.
Make time for others to share their accomplishments with you (so you can praise them). During supervisory sessions don’t get lost in problem-solving. Inquire about what’s gone well.
You can commend your superiors as well as peers and subordinates. You can also compliment your opponents. Act like an ultimate Frisbee player and praise the winning team.
Be generous in your praise of others. Don’t fall prey to the misperception that flattering others diminishes your position. It’s just the opposite. Offering an evaluative comment indicates authority.
KEEP IN MIND
• Don’t focus on your success when praising others.
• If you receive praise in return, say, “Thank you”—don’t reject it.
• Separate requests for additional work from moments of praise.