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BUILD A BRIDGE
Connect Through Nonwork Interests and Experiences
You are an accountant, nursery school teacher, or thoracic surgeon. It’s easy to be defined by “your job.” Working in specialized, often siloed situations, the benefit of the other things we do is frequently missed, yet your experience, skills, and interests (often pursued outside of work) can be a repository of relational glue. Are you the insurance executive with a degree in geology? How can you share your intellectual capital with colleagues? Would you prefer to hold an offsite in the mountains or near a volcano so that nature is experienced rather than seen in two-dimensional images in a conference room? Do you ride horses on the weekend? Can visits to the therapeutic stables replace business development dinners or your annual corporate golf outing? Chefs produce under pressure. Why not highlight the two years you spent working in a kitchen, rather than trying to gloss over them as you write your tech consulting resume. “I am an X and a Y” communicates an expansive, energizing identity. “I am a photographer and a corporate litigator.” “I am the child of Holocaust survivors, and I am a Pilates instructor.” There are several advantages to recognizing the fullness of your experience and inviting others to do the same.
Overcome overt difference. Giving expression to and valuing diverse experiences uncovers potential points of connection among people working in the same company whose outward presentation seems nothing alike. When you and your team have diplomas from different schools and radically divergent family backgrounds, the ability to bond around a love of dance, coaching kids’ teams, or collecting watches helps foster a sense of belonging—the foundation for workplace success.
Establish support for the future. A.S.U. Professor of Social Psychology Robert Cialdini recommends discovering informal commonalities early on as these create a presumption of goodwill and trustworthiness in every subsequent encounter. Going forward, the people you need to persuade will already be inclined in your favor.
Create new opportunities. As you seek to expand the profitability or impact of your organization, recognizing the varied spheres you can influence will . . . grow your influence! Let’s say you are an Asian woman, from a family of farmers, living in Peru, with a passion for watercolors, working . . . at a bank. Can you be a bridge between quinoa producers seeking to expand their market and your company, which is pressuring you to develop new business? Invite a few representatives from your office to meet three members from an exporting company. Friends visiting from back home? Bring them along to provide perspective on changing dietary habits in their hometowns. Hold the meeting at a local gallery where your bank president is on the board. Invite two of the artists whose works are on display. Suddenly, you are at the center of a dynamic evening, inspired by and enriched by your interests, and, hopefully, catalytic for new connections.
Quickly deepen a discussion. Sometimes a shameful past can become the basis for extraordinary new relationships. Companies are increasingly introducing a day of service or other community outreach programs. The intent is virtuous, yet the dynamic that’s created can often be “I am here to do something for you.” The visitors’ history is hermetically sealed. Sure, you’re in a suit now, but you grew up on food stamps. You’re helping at Habitat for Humanity, knocking in nails with your team but not speaking to the family whose home you are helping rebuild. Resurrecting the feelings you had when your parents’ home was repossessed and you lived in a shelter can be the impetus for a vibrant conversation with the recipients of your service. Don’t settle for a day out with the team devoid of understanding someone else’s reality. Go back in time to discover ways to enrich the current exchange.
Work more effectively with partners from different sectors. There’s a growing appreciation that the answers to complex, interconnected problems require cooperation among political, community, and business leaders. That’s great in theory, but to get things done, your bridge-building needs to become more tactical. Once you have built the bridge, it’s easier to find ways to translate each other’s shorthand, agree on measurements for success, and figure out what information needs to be communicated to your various constituents to obtain the support you need.
THIS IS FOR YOU IF
• Finding one similarity—even better, two—will provide the foundation for novel collaboration.
• The focus has been on difference. Time to dip into your treasure chest of experience and find surprising commonalities.
• Sharing a vulnerable part of your past may position you for great success in the future.
• I am X and Y is much more appealing than any restrictive self-definition.
TAKE ACTION
Think beyond the office walls. Allow yourself to consider your many roles and interests. When meeting people, identify a commonality you might not have previously considered.
Resist rapid categorization of yourself and others. Think in terms of “and.”
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Sometimes the less glamorous parts of our past are the most potent places from which to build a bridge.
Continually ask yourself, “Who else could I bring into this conversation?” How can your relationships outside of the typical work environment provide the bridge to novel alliances?
Facilitate impactful coalitions by creating tools that foster collaboration. Develop fact sheets that share data in clear terms. Interpret industry jargon. If you worked in government (but now have a job in industry), offer coaching on the differences in organizational culture.
KEEP IN MIND
• Sometimes the most effective way to be a bridge is to make an introduction between people or organizations that share a common interest, even if you don’t.
• In an effort to build a bridge between people, it’s not your place to reveal information that your colleagues would consider private.