ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Modeling the courage, commitment, and curiosity to change, my patients and clients have taught me the lessons you read in this book. I have had the good fortune to always love my work. Thank you to all the people who trusted me with their deepest secrets and most exciting ambitions. Connect First comes to life (at least I hope you think so) through the case studies. I am so appreciative of the clients and colleagues from around the world who gave me permission to share their stories and, more important, welcomed me into their lives.
This book took form over several years, generating thousands of emails, hundreds of conversations, and multiple advice sessions over coffees and cocktails. The concept seemed so simple, but the execution, well, that took lots of input and encouragement. Although I hid away every Thursday to write, I was never alone. Thank you to my immediate and extended family, friends, and colleagues who responded to impromptu polls as I tested ideas, images, and positioning for Connect First. You offered to host book parties from the moment my fingers first hit the keyboard. Extraordinary!
Ron Beller, Mike Clancy Jr., Philip DerMargosian, Debbie Evangelakos, Chip Fournier, John Gartner, Julia Mart, Eric Messenger, Kerri Kwinter, Kenzie Kwong, Daniel Newman, Anamaria Schindler, Steve Schwartzberg, Gary Simon, Helen Strnad, and Sharlene Wolchik turned their big brains and huge hearts to my manuscript and found ways to express my ideas more effectively than I would have. Thank you for your suggestions to stay positive, reduce density, increase specificity, drop jargon, and keep my ego in check. Members of my writers’ room morning—Stephen Fenichell, Leah Johnson, Deepa Lakshmin, Harper Makowsky, John Paul Newport, Jacob Tugendrajch, and our intrepid facilitator, Marcy Gregory—helped articulate the unique contribution Connect First could make and brought the importance of my clinical experience into sharper focus.
John Gerzema told me he wanted to read a book about my experience as a coach and therapist. His prompt set off the torrent of ideas that filled these pages. Karin Forseke’s astute reading of early drafts and powerful belief in me electrified my synapses and gave me energy. Emily Greenberg dazzled me with her conceptual comments, refined my grammar, and encouraged me to incorporate more of my own voice. After endless hours at my desk, meeting Mike Clancy at the gym kept me in physical and psychic shape through the entirety of this project. Adam Brooks is a real writer, and he made sure I felt like one at every stage of this process. Thank you for your writer-to-writer motivational texts. Peter Rose was unremittingly gracious in sharing his vast wisdom, informing the focus and title of Connect First. If you find joy in the book, join me in thanking Peter; he insisted that linking joy and work was critical, and I believe he is right. I am grateful to Jayne Jamison and Cevin Bryerman for decades of friendship and their professional support as my book met the world. Special appreciation goes out to Adam Grant, a generous colleague for many years.
Lindsay Levin has shown so many people how to shift what’s possible. When I asked her advice about bringing on a writing partner, she encouraged me to look in the mirror. She knows me so well—it was just the boost I needed. Thank you for thinking and feeling with me through every step. My Leaders’ Quest (LQ) family cocreated and practiced many of the methodologies described in Connect First. We’ve traveled many miles together, survived and thrived in complicated situations. No matter what the universe throws at us, there’s peace and calm when we return to the circle. The energy Leaders’ Quest radiated after my initial Connect First talk lifted my feet and soul off the ground. Thank you for providing such a safe and loving professional home. Extra gratitude goes to our “other Mel,” Melanie Jamieson, and her team for making sure Connect First reaches the widest audiences.
Julie Kantor kept this doctor sane by stepping in at all the right times to ensure that Katzman Consulting clients had the coverage they needed when my days could stretch no further. Larry and Claire Aidem deployed their relational charm, making connections to people who share my vision. Suzanne Gowler is a talented thinking partner . . . about everything. Viviane Barreto de Azevedo Lamego continually models commitment to personal and organizational growth on a global scale. Lori Zabar and I have shared so many milestones, including the joys (and a few miseries) of authorship. Amy Wolf, Helen Gitelson, Jen Moses, Jill Kristal, Judy Bernstein, Lainey Fallek, Sandy Rokoff, and Susan Newman have provided the emotional trampoline to bounce back from life’s challenges. I work like crazy, racing around the world, and they nourish me when it’s time to play.
Jill Grinberg is more than an agent. She’s the midwife of Connect First. With the most elegant touch, she calmly, wisely, and with relentless patience pulled this book out of me. Jill responded instantly to my ideas about work and naturally practices so many of this book’s suggestions. Thank you doesn’t capture the heaps of gratitude and mountains of respect I have for Jill and her exceptional counsel. Jill can speak shrink, analyze a market, manage multiple relationships, and be tons of fun. I could not have written Connect First without her. Jill’s colleagues at Grinberg Literary Management were equally supportive. In particular, Denise Page was unflaggingly dedicated to doing whatever was needed, reading multiple versions of the proposal, testing titles and covers, and guaranteeing that everyone was always in sync. Sophia Seidner totally had my back.
Casey Ebro, my editor at McGraw-Hill, understood me, my message, and my mission immediately. I am grateful that she felt the connection as strongly as I did when we first met. In less than a year, Casey signed, named, and championed Connect First to print. Acting promptly and with precision, Casey always listened to my concerns, and then delivered a better solution than I could have imagined.
Through late nights and weekends Jill and Casey sent me “Got It” emails and made sure Connect First was headed in the right direction. They orchestrated a dream team. Nora Hennick and Amanda Muller of McGraw-Hill brought their marketing prowess and wonderful spirit of collaboration. Jeff Weeks created a cover that communicates the universality of connecting, no matter the color of your skin (or paperclip). Andrew Mauney performed magic with the author photo. A book that appeals to everyone at the office runs the risk that no one thinks it’s uniquely for them. Mark Fortier and Lisa Barnes are virtuosos of communication and trusted advisors who expertly targeted my conversations. Alona Beloussova was my literary angel—appearing at just the right moment—making sure Connect First launched smoothly. Gregg Sullivan lit up the internet and never grew tired of my endless inquiries.
Many people have wondered if Gerry Sanseviero is a real person or how many people make up this one phenomenon. She’s everywhere doing everything, seemingly effortlessly, with great humor, purpose, and compassion. Gerry runs Katzman Consulting, managing the relationships, schedules, and finances. When I said I wanted to write a book, she snapped into gear and cleared my calendar on Thursdays. She critiqued ideas, researched, and fact-checked. She restructured sentences, formatted prose, and mocked-up covers. She obtained all of the case study permissions. Press? She helped organize that, too. Web design, camera angles, voice coaching, making sure I eat—Gerry does it all. Actor, editor, intellectual muse, Gerry diligently and passionately anticipates my needs and those of Katzman Consulting’s associates and clients. She’s made sure we follow the Connect First principles in our office. Thanks to Gerry, so many of us have achieved success, meaning, and joy at work.
Amanda Roman Makowsky and Trey Brademan slipped into our loud, opinionated, excessively social family, flexing their smarts and wickedly fast sense of humor, at a time when the book occupied its own seat at the table. Focus groups at dinner weren’t part of their job descriptions when our kids brought them home, but they rose to the challenge with panache.
My children grew up with a mother who couldn’t sit still, didn’t believe in jet lag, and never stopped hugging and kissing them (when I was around). They taught me, tolerated me, and teased me. Nobody can point out my fault lines like Wyndam and Harper, and for this I am deeply grateful. They are both active in the workforce now, and I couldn’t be prouder of the professionals they have become.
Wyndam contributed his expert editorial skills, reviewed passage after passage, called out missing or extra commas, modified the title and subtitle countless times, sharpened the applicability of my advice, and kept me going with his belief that companies of the future would benefit from my work. I knew I was onto something when Wyndam told his whole executive MBA class about my book. I’m biased of course, but Wyndam is and will be the kind of boss for whom you want to work.
Harper unleashed the multitude of her superpowers to bring Connect First to market. She reviewed positioning documents, participated in strategy discussions, built my first YouTube channel, did my makeup for filmed sessions, and edited the book and chapter titles. During multiple difficult projects she wrote me (and my team) motivational messages. She sends clips and keeps me laughing. Harper’s magnetic and a maestro at decoding emotional messages. There’s nothing she can’t do, and she holds me to the same standard.
Russell Makowsky is the consummate executive—and spouse. He combines deep technical knowledge and strong interpersonal savvy. Russell read the manuscript with an English major’s eye. He was attentive while I processed (out loud) the latest book updates and didn’t take it personally when I needed to disappear for yet another rewrite. He’s been this coach’s coach. And cook. And best friend. He’s my rock. His steadfastness is the reason I can pursue my entrepreneurial adventures. His strong moral compass always points me in the right direction. Russ has provided the continued confidence throughout my career that I can and will achieve my dreams.