THE PRINCIPLE

When you describe how you do a problem, you also learn how to stop doing it

This technique is for any habit or behaviour you’d like to change. The best way to do it is to get a partner who will listen and take notes while you teach them to do the same thing, in detail.

For example, you might give a lesson in how to be late, how to over-eat, how to make sure you never exercise, how to procrastinate or just about anything else. The other person takes notes and, if necessary, prompts you with questions to make sure you go into adequate detail.

When you get the notes back, all you have to do is the opposite of everything your partner has written down.

I used this method to overcome my former habit of being late. Would you like to learn how to be late? I can help! Here are just a few of my proven methods:

• Have no clocks in the bathroom so when you’re shaving or doing your hair it will be easy to lose track of time.
• Just before you leave the house, check your email one more time and answer any urgent or interesting messages.
• Assume that public transport will be on time or that it will be easy to find a taxi or that traffic will be light.
• If the phone rings as you’re on your way out, run back and take the call even though your answer machine is on.

I know lots more ways to be late, but that gives you the idea of how the process works. And, yes, now I do have a clock in the bathroom, I do assume that public transport will be running late (I take along reading material so I have something to do in case I do arrive for a meeting early), and I no longer do ‘just one last check’ of my emails.

If you don’t have a willing partner for this exercise, you can dictate your lesson into a tape recorder and then transcribe what you’ve said, but it’s much more fun with a live listener. By making it a game, it’s funny and enjoyable, but yields seriously useful information at the same time.

Which of your habits will you teach – and change – first?