SUMMARY—EXPLORE OTHERS’ PATHS

To encourage the free flow of meaning and help others leave silence or violence behind, explore their Paths to Action. Start with an attitude of curiosity and patience. This helps restore safety.

Then, use four powerful listening skills to retrace the other person’s Path to Action to its origins.

Ask. Start by simply expressing interest in the other person’s views.

Mirror. Increase safety by respectfully acknowledging the emotions people appear to be feeling.

Paraphrase. As others begin to share part of their story, restate what you’ve heard to show not just that you understand, but also that it’s safe for them to share what they’re thinking.

Prime. If others continue to hold back, prime. Take your best guess at what they may be thinking and feeling.

As you begin to share your views, remember:

Agree. Agree when you share views.

Build. If others leave something out, agree where you share views, then build.

Compare. When you do differ significantly, don’t suggest others are wrong. Compare your two views.

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