INSUBORDINATION (OR OVER-THE-LINE DISRESPECT)

“YEAH, BUT . . .

WHAT IF THE PEOPLE you talk to not only are angry, but also become insubordinate? How do you handle that?”

The Danger Point

When you’re discussing a tough issue with employees (or even your kids), there’s always the chance they’ll step over the line. They’ll move from a friendly dispute to a heated discussion and then into the nasty territory of being insubordinate or acting disrespectful.

The trouble is, insubordination is so rare that it takes most leaders by surprise. So they buy time to figure out what to do. And in so doing, they let the person get away with something that was way out of line. Worse still, their perceived indifference makes them an accomplice to all future abuses. Parents, on the other hand, caught by surprise, tend to respond in kind, becoming angry and insulting.

The Solution

Show zero tolerance for insubordination. Speak up immediately, but respectfully. Change topics from the issue at hand to how the person is currently acting. Catch the escalating disrespect before it turns into abuse and insubordination. Let the person know that his or her passion for the issue at hand is leading down a dangerous trail. “I’d like to step away from this scheduling issue for a moment—then we’ll come right back to it. The way you’re leaning in toward me and raising your voice seems disrespectful. I want to help address your concerns, but I’m going to have a tough time doing so if this continues.”

If you can’t catch it early, discuss the insubordination and seek help from HR specialists.

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