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by Al Switzler, Ron McMillan, Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson
Crucial Conversations
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Contents
Foreword to the Second Edition
Foreword to the First Edition
Preface
Acknowledgments
1 What’s a Crucial Conversation?: And Who Cares?
HOW DO WE TYPICALLY HANDLE CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS?
OUR AUDACIOUS CLAIM
SUMMARY
2 Mastering Crucial Conversations: The Power of Dialogue
DIALOGUE
DIALOGUE SKILLS ARE LEARNABLE
HERE’S WHERE WE’RE GOING
3 Start with Heart: How to Stay Focused on What You Really Want
WORK ON ME FIRST, US SECOND
DON’T LOOK AT ME!
START WITH HEART
A MOMENT OF TRUTH
FIRST, FOCUS ON WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
SECOND, REFUSE THE FOOL’S CHOICE
IS THIS REALLY POSSIBLE?
SUMMARY—START WITH HEART
4 Learn to Look: How to Notice When Safety Is at Risk
WATCH FOR CONDITIONS
SUMMARY—LEARN TO LOOK
5 Make It Safe: How to Make It Safe to Talk About Almost Anything
STEP OUT. MAKE IT SAFE. THEN STEP BACK IN
NOTICE WHICH CONDITION IS AT RISK
WHAT TO DO ONCE YOU STEP OUT
BACK TO YVONNE AND JOTHAM
BUT I COULD NEVER DO THAT!
SUMMARY—MAKE IT SAFE
6 Master My Stories: How to Stay in Dialogue When You’re Angry, Scared, or Hurt
HE MADE ME MAD!
EMOTIONS DON’T JUST HAPPEN
MARIA’S STORY
OUR STORIES
SKILLS FOR MASTERING OUR STORIES
MARIA’S NEW STORY
SUMMARY—MASTER MY STORIES
7 STATE My Path: How to Speak Persuasively, Not Abrasively
SHARE RISKY MEANING
MAINTAIN SAFETY
STATE MY PATH
THE “WHAT” SKILLS
THE “HOW” SKILLS
BACK TO THE MOTEL
STRONG BELIEF
SUMMARY—STATE MY PATH
8 Explore Others’ Paths: How to Listen When Others Blow Up or Clam Up
EXPLORE OTHERS’ PATHS
EXPLORING WENDY’S PATH
REMEMBER YOUR ABCS
SUMMARY—EXPLORE OTHERS’ PATHS
9 Move to Action: How to Turn Crucial Conversations into Action and Results
DIALOGUE IS NOT DECISION MAKING
DECIDE HOW TO DECIDE
HOW TO CHOOSE
MAKE ASSIGNMENTS—PUT DECISIONS INTO ACTION
DOCUMENT YOUR WORK
SUMMARY—MOVE TO ACTION
10 Yeah, But: Advice for Tough Cases
SEXUAL OR OTHER HARASSMENT
MY OVERLY SENSITIVE SPOUSE
FAILURE TO LIVE UP TO AGREEMENTS
DEFERENCE TO AUTHORITY
FAILED TRUST
WON’T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING SERIOUS
VAGUE BUT ANNOYING
SHOWS NO INITIATIVE
SHOWS A PATTERN
I NEED TIME TO CALM DOWN!
ENDLESS EXCUSES
INSUBORDINATION (OR OVER-THE-LINE DISRESPECT)
REGRETTING SAYING SOMETHING HORRIBLE
TOUCHY AND PERSONAL
WORD GAMES
NO WARNING
DEALING WITH SOMEONE WHO BREAKS ALL THE RULES
11 Putting It All Together: Tools for Preparing and Learning
TWO LEVERS
HOW TO PREPARE FOR A CRUCIAL CONVERSATION
CONCLUSION—IT’S NOT ABOUT COMMUNICATION, IT’S ABOUT RESULTS
Afterword What I’ve Learned About Crucial Conversations in the Past Ten Years
AL
JOSEPH
KERRY
RON
Endnotes
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 6
Index
About the Authors
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