IS THIS REALLY POSSIBLE?

Some people believe that this whole line of thinking is comically unrealistic. From their point of view, Sucker’s Choices aren’t false dichotomies; they’re merely a reflection of an unfortunate reality.

“You can’t say something to the boss about our upcoming move. It’ll cost you your job.”

To these people we say: Remember Kevin? He, and almost every other opinion leader we’ve ever studied, has what it takes to speak up and maintain respect. Maybe you don’t know what Kevin did or what you need to do—but don’t deny the existence of Kevin or people like him. There is a third set of options out there that allows you to add meaning to the pool and build on the relationship.

When we (the authors) are in the middle of an on-site workshop and we suggest there are alternatives to Fool’s Choices, someone invariably says: “Maybe you can speak honestly and still be heard in other organizations, but if you try it here, you’ll be eaten alive!” Or the flip side: “You’ve got to know when to fold if you want to survive for another day.” Then in a hail of “I’ll say!” and “Here, here!” many nod in agreement.

At first, we thought that maybe there were places where dialogue couldn’t survive. But then we learned to ask: “Are you saying there isn’t anyone you know who is able to hold a high-risk conversation in a way that solves problems and builds relationships?” There usually is.