The world is made up of distant lands, yet the shortest
distance between any two people is still a smile.

—Anonymous

Kitty’s radiant smile and hockey’s greatest, Gordie Howe.

I have a small sign in my office that reads, “I saw a man who didn’t have a smile, so I gave him one.” I always remembered that saying and have tried most of my life to make that the very first thing I give someone. Perhaps it’s because when I was a kid growing up, smiling was not something we did in our home when my father was around. It was as though it was forbidden—especially in my case. Whenever my brother and sisters and I joked around, it was never when he was present. The emptiness and bitterness I experienced growing up are probably the main reasons I value a smile so much. Thank goodness I had the love of my mother to balance things out. The people I used to see as a kid shining shoes in the bars never smiled. They hated their jobs and went to the bars to drown in their miserable lives. But I learned how to reach them. I made them smile by beaming the biggest grin they ever saw until I had them all thinking I was the luckiest kid in the world, and that’s exactly what I wanted them to think. Joe Girard knew what he was doing even back then—the bigger the smile, the bigger the tip. In fact, in that picture I have of myself shining shoes as a nine-year-old kid, the smile I’m wearing is big enough to cover my shoeshine box (well, almost). Every time I look up at that photo, I smile right back at “little Joey” when I realize how far “we’ve” come.

Yes, I was unhappy as a child, but nobody in those bars knew it. Little did they know how much I was hurting. As the lyrics from the song “Smile,” written by the great silent movie actor Charlie Chaplin, remind us, “Smile though your heart is aching.” That was me growing up—smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. As I look back on those times, I actually believe that, without even knowing it, my father actually gave me a gift. Because smiling was something he never shared with me, I made up my mind that it would be something I would give freely and often to others. Sadly, that was his loss. And that is nothing to smile about.

Smile and the World Smiles with You

One of the greatest gifts God gave humanity was a smile. If you think the flu is contagious, try smiling at someone and see what happens. I’ll bet the odds are ten to one you’ll get one back—with interest. They’re not only smiling back, they’re feeling good too—and all because of YOU. A smile makes people feel special, appreciated, respected, and recognized. You can’t do any of that any better or any faster with just words. A smile is genuine because it comes from the heart. And the person receiving it knows that. No matter where you go in this world, one thing remains true: smile and the world smiles with you. You don’t even have to speak the same language because a smile speaks them all. The next time you’re having difficulty communicating with or reaching a person, remember, the best place to start is with a smile.

There were many times when I knew that my smile made the difference. I have had countless people tell me that they were drawn to my smile the minute they walked in the showroom. One couple even told me they felt so good about our discussions that they even decided to go for a brighter yellow color as a result of feeling so positive. Now that’s what I call putting on a happy face!

Smiles never go up in price or down in value. In fact, they actually increase your “face” value. Smiling is great for your health, too. We all know it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown. The reasons to smile are almost endless. But what does it really mean in your day-to-day affairs?

Smile Your Way to Success

No matter what we do professionally, most of us are in a competitive game to try and achieve positive outcomes with the people we do business with before someone else does. It takes a lot of prep work to get ready for the challenges we face each day. It’s not any one thing either. Many things have to come together in just the right order so we can be at our very best. We have to be organized. We have to look the part. And we have to listen. But the very first thing a customer or prospect will see before anything else is your face and the expression you wear. That’s where it all begins—every time. If you train yourself to have a smile every time you come in contact with the people who matter most to you in your work (and in your personal life), you’ll be on the right path to smiling your way to success. I don’t care what you call your contacts: prospects, customers, clients, patients, students. Who knows? They could even be inmates if you’re a counselor. Everyone responds positively to a smile. If an initial positive impression is your goal, then this is the place to begin.

That’s where I began. The impression I made on customers is what made me. And I didn’t learn that in school, folks. I learned it shining shoes. Even back then, I noticed if I smiled first, I’d get one in return. I also noticed I often got an extra tip for making someone feel better even for just that moment. That became my business plan from then on. Attack with a smile and then conquer. I practice that same technique to this day.

Whenever I meet someone, I try to imagine them wearing a sign that says: “MAKE ME FEEL IMPORTANT.” When you make someone feel important, they are often willing to buy or even consider purchasing their second choice. That’s when you really know you’ve got what it takes to make a positive impression on someone. This is especially important in difficult situations. I became a master at heading off problems before they arrived. If someone was coming in to see me “loaded for bear” about something, maybe a product or service issue, I could disarm them with my genuine smile. If I tried to match their frown with mine, I’d have nowhere to go. We’d both lose. Plain and simple—I needed them more than they needed me. Do you get the point on this? Remember, you’re not picking friends here. Every time you “let one of them go” by frowning at them, it’s like letting coins slip through your fingers and into the hands of someone else. In other words, you’ve lost. The place to begin is with a smile because A SMILE NEVER DISAPPOINTS.

Sometimes life deals us some pretty lousy cards, and it’s difficult to smile when things aren’t going our way. You never know what’s troubling a person at any given time, so it’s always best not to react until you know more about their situation. Sometimes people want to be left alone until they sort things out on their own. Give them some space.

One customer came into my office to see me about purchasing a car. The truck he was driving was giving him trouble, and he felt he needed to get it replaced soon. He had just recently lost his wife to a terminal illness. I could tell by the sad look on his face he hadn’t gotten over that and was not too focused on the discussion. I could identify with him immediately. He had a lot on his mind. He was seated across my desk from me. I placed my hand on top of his and told him how I had lost my wife earlier. When I smiled at him, he smiled back and thanked me. We understood each other completely.

I suggested he put off the purchase of the new truck for a few weeks. I offered to try and get him into a temporary lease on a demo car so he wouldn’t have to worry about his truck breaking down. When he came back the following month to purchase the new vehicle, he told me he knew I was sincere in helping him by the genuine smile I gave him that day the previous month.

I could always tell when people I would meet were having troubles. They would sulk, frown, or shuffle about with their heads down. It was so obvious, I could hardly imagine anyone wanting to be around people like that. For many it wasn’t a personal tragedy that was bringing this on; it was just their negative, downcast way of dealing with things that weren’t going their way. They were beaten before they began.

I always tell people, “If you’re not on the OBITUARY list today, you should be smiling.” Even getting out of bed in the morning is something to smile about. Yes, it’s the small things in life we take for granted. Like love, smiling should never be taken for granted. It should be worn as a cherished possession and given freely to others as a gift.

Look, we all have problems. The difference is, successful people know how to control and discipline themselves and make the most of the time and opportunities they have. To them, survival is an art form. They’re never beaten. They never give up. They just keep on going but always with a ray of sunshine pasted on their faces. That’s the difference.

If you’re starting out your day any other way, you’re creating unnecessary obstacles for yourself. You’ll have plenty to frown about that evening at the end of a lousy day if you choose a path without a smile.

So how do you get rid of the blues if things aren’t going your way? “I’ve got nothing to smile about,” you say. Here’s how you do it:

1. Keep your troubles to yourself. If you have something to vent, do it at home. Do it on your own time. It’s YOUR problem, not the person’s you’re interacting with. They don’t need to be in on what’s happening in your personal life.

2. Tell yourself, “My job is to make life enjoyable for others.” You’re on “their time” now. What others need from you is a demonstration that you’re genuinely interested in them (not preoccupied with YOU). There is no faster way to let them know this than with a smile.

I know this can be very difficult at times, but you have no other choice. You have to face life on its terms, not yours. In the end you’ll be thankful you did. Trust me on that.

Smiling with the Heart

I want to be very clear about something. When I say smile, I don’t mean some kind of slick or insincere grin. I’m talking about a genuine, honest smile that says you’re glad the person you’re with just entered your life. That’s what I’m talking about. Believe me, your contacts will know the difference. You will not be able to be successful in life by putting on a fake smile. It’s been said, “If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then a smile must surely be the window to the heart.” Your smile must come from the inside. If yours isn’t for real, don’t bother giving it. They’ll see right through you. One of my strengths has always been my ability to detect a legit smile. I know how to read lips for sincerity. If they’re not on the level with me when they smile, whether they know it or not, I KNOW IT.

One of the most genuine smiles I ever saw came from one of the most successful business executives in the automotive industry, Ed Cole, president of General Motors. I was introduced to Ed several years ago in the presence of Phil Donahue, the top TV talk show host of the day. Ed, in turn, introduced me to Phil as the world’s number-one retail auto salesperson. His smile was so warm and vibrant, it could melt a piece of steel. And, of course, he made me feel like a million bucks. Since he headed up GM, he was technically my “boss.” But he never had to sell himself using that approach. He simply sold himself with a smile.

I’m sad to say with the focus on ratcheting up everything from production to communication technology nowadays, there seems to be less opportunity for personal engagement. As a result, there are not too many Ed Coles left in any industry. Yet a smile from the heart is still what everyone wants to make them feel important. Making people feel important is what smiling does better than anything else. Even if you’re a shy kind of person, if you look your customer in the eye and smile, you’ll instantly create an image of sincerity. And that’s the foundation of trust.

This may sound a little bit unusual to you, but smiling with the lips is only one of the ways I would smile at people I came in contact with (similar to “listening” with more than just your ears). In my world, smiling was really a tool I used to make people feel good about themselves, not me. If I could get them into that frame of mind, then they would associate me with that good feeling and reward me with a sale.

I would “smile” at my prospects by always complimenting them on the things they did, personally and professionally, as well as the choices they were considering that I was showing them.

If they were picking out good options on a particular model, I made sure to compliment them for using a very intelligent approach that would help the resale value of the vehicle.

If they were telling me about their profession, I would let them know how much I admired people who could do what they did, no matter what it was. Many of my customers were middle-class working people. One of my customers was a road construction worker who worked outdoors year-round in the scorching heat as well as in the bitter cold. I told him very few people had the skill and stamina he had and how much I appreciated what he did. “Without you,” I told him, “our society is at a complete standstill. We don’t move without YOU.” He smiled at me, nodded his head, and said, “Thanks for noticing.” It’s extremely important that you demonstrate a genuine heart when you smile and interact with your customers. If you appear to be a phony, they’ll become uncomfortable and suspicious. You’ll lose them right on the spot every time. Relax. Do it right. Be sincere.

Everything I had to say or be was positive. It was in my voice. It was in my eyes. It was in my entire body language. I made them feel intelligent, special, and important. I was there to facilitate their decisions, not strong-arm them into a sale. One thing I always did was build goodwill with a smile from the heart whenever I came in contact with people. Before you do anything else, that’s what you have to do to be successful. The reward will follow. But first the foundation has to be laid, and a genuine smile from the heart is where it should always begin.

Getting the Maximum “Smileage” Out of Your Smile

If you made a list comparing two competitive companies on such things as price, product, and service, and found them to be more or less equal, the difference would be, in almost all cases, how customers were treated. If you blow that, you’ve just met the deal breaker, even if you think your price is better than the guy’s down the street. In today’s world, more than ever, you’ve got to have it all: PRICE, PRODUCT, and SERVICE. And, above all, service begins and ends with a smile.

Let me show you how to get a little extra “smileage,” as I like to call it, out of your smile with seven handy rules.

1. Smile When You Don’t Feel Like It

Without a doubt, this is the most difficult rule to follow; that’s why it’s number one. We both know how tough this can be, especially when you’re having a rough day. I remember vividly the first Monday I went to work after the Detroit metro dealers decided to shut down all dealerships on Saturdays. Not only was I at the peak of my career, but, as I mentioned in Chapter 2, Saturdays were one of my best selling days. This loss was nothing to smile about. It was really tough. I could have joined the pack and sulked and complained, as did many. I’m glad I didn’t. I decided I would have to dig a little bit deeper into my attitude machine and smile even bigger and brighter to make up for the lost day. It paid off. I had my second-best sales year in my entire career!

No matter how down in the dumps you may feel at a given time, you have to convince yourself you will not let that interfere with the business at hand. And that’s taking care of that prospect, that customer, or that contact, the one right in front of you at that very moment. Nothing else matters. They cannot be allowed to know what’s going on in your personal life. As far as they are concerned, they should only have to ask themselves, “What has he or she got to smile about?” rather than “What is his or her problem?” Remember, NO DISTRACTIONS. Reread Chapter 2, “Have a Positive Attitude.” It has a lot of the same basic success principles that apply to smiling. Smiling when you don’t feel like it takes discipline, but discipline pays dividends. If you want to remember the power of a smile, try this on. Think about someone who has a magnificent smile. The world has been captivated by the smile of the stunning royal duchess Princess Kate Middleton of Great Britain. It is so radiant that she and her smile are one and the same. Or maybe it’s one from what is probably the most famous painting on Earth, the Mona Lisa, painted by the renowned artist Leonardo da Vinci. People flock from all over the world to the Louvre Museum in Paris to marvel at this painting. They all want to get a glimpse of the magic attraction it has. When they see it, they soon realize it’s not the brush strokes or striking colors that makes it so special. It’s their fascination with her smile. That’s right. More than five hundred years later, her timeless smile continues to touch the hearts of everyone who ever sees her. She never disappoints and neither should you.

2. Share Only Your Positive Thoughts

When you share only positive thoughts, you also create an atmosphere of goodwill. You want to be associated with and be known as a person who brings joy into people’s lives. When you enter a room, your goal should be to “light it up.” People should know that whatever you have to say, it’s going to make them feel special because that’s the reputation you have and because that’s WHO YOU REALLY ARE. Talk only about positive things. Whether it’s the news, sports, or the weather, always look for the positive angle on things. Be upbeat. Focus on the constructive things going on in the community, not the negative ones. Don’t get involved in controversial discussions. If you’re a positive person who talks and feels positive, then that is exactly what you pass on to the people you are with. And that, my friends, is right where you want your customers or contacts to be, feeling good about themselves and knowing you’re the reason they feel positive. If you have nothing good to say about something, either move on to another topic or shut up.

3. Smile with Your Whole Face

If you have a genuine smile on your face, then it won’t be with the lips alone. The complete smile involves practically everything a person sees on your face: the twinkle in your eyes, the wrinkle in your nose, the way your cheeks fill out. You may be better looking than Santa, but his smile is hard to top. Ear-to-ear, that’s the one you want, genuine as a newborn babe’s and sweeter than sugar pie. When people see you beaming from ear-to-ear, it carries an important message before a single word is spoken. The smile on your face says, “Trust me. Have confidence in me. I am your friend.” What a great way to begin a relationship with anyone.

4. Turn the Frown Upside Down

When I look back on my early years growing up, by all rights I should have been a complete failure. If I hadn’t made the change to become a positive-minded person, I would have wound up just like my father—angry at the world. I would have frowned on life for not dealing me a better hand. But I learned quickly that unless I learned to look on the bright side and smile about what I did have going for me, my frowning was going to spell disaster and ultimately a failed life. Is that what you want? If you keep on frowning your life away, before you know it, that frown will become an irreversible and permanent scar on your face. The whole world will read you like a book. You’ll become someone to avoid.

If you don’t think you have anything to smile about, I’ll give you something to get you started. First of all, if you live in a country like the United States where you are free to pursue your opportunities, you are a lot better off than a great many other people on Earth who live in places where oppression, poverty, and disease rule.

Chances are you have it a lot better than you think. If you learn to appreciate your starting point, you will quickly realize you have a lot to smile about. The door is there for you to open. For a guy who had so many doors slammed in his face growing up, I know firsthand what it feels like to look back and see how far I’ve come. There is no sweeter smile than the smile of success. Once you get one on, you’ll never trade it in for anything.

But if you continue to frown on life and hang around people who never smile, that door will remain shut for the rest of your life. Make the change. Get away from the losers in life who pull you down, and get going on creating a face of happiness. Turn that frown upside down and get your life moving in the right direction. Turn your world around now!

5. Exercise Your Sense of Humor

It’s true there’s a lot to be sad about in life. We all know that. Just look at the news headlines on TV or in your newspaper. Why dwell on it? Only a pessimist does that. An optimist never gets caught in that trap. An optimist always sees the glass “half full,” not “half empty” like the pessimist. I think in my next life, I should be a news editor who lets only good news be printed or aired. If you make an honest effort to look for the good in things rather than what’s wrong with something, it will go a long way to shaping your attitude about winning. Look for reasons to be cheerful. One of the best ways to do this is by exercising your sense of humor. Laugh a little with others—never at them, but with them. You don’t have to be a master joke-teller to find reasons to smile about life. If the joke’s on you, then take it in stride and roll with it. Lighten up! Don’t take the moment too seriously. There are enough of those already in life.

6. Smile Out Loud

If you think a beaming smile is the ultimate expression of happiness, imagine what a hearty laugh must be. I always think of a good, hearty laugh as the equivalent of smiling out loud. There’s no better feeling. Have you ever noticed how contagious laughter can be? You’ll experience it in a movie theater during a comedy film. One person starts laughing and pretty soon the whole theater is rolling. Or when a standup comedian delivers a punch line to a live audience. Everybody gets in on the act. You forget your troubles. You’re in a moment of pleasure and fun, and you’re sharing it with others. Can you imagine stringing together an unbreakable chain of moments like that into an entire life? Now there’s something to shoot for. Smiling out loud is one of the healthiest exercises there is. It does wonders for your mind, your body, and your soul. Brighten your day, as well as someone else’s. Smile out loud.

7. Don’t Say “Cheese,” Say “I Like You”

It wouldn’t surprise me one bit to learn that photographers were probably the first ones to try and get people to force a smile. They needed to figure out a way to get everyone to do that for a very practical reason—nobody wants to pay for a picture of frowning faces. If you think saying “cheese” pushes the smile to its limit, saying “I like you” does an even better job in my opinion. Why? Because the words “I like you” actually mean something that genuinely makes someone smile. The smile you get in response is not a forced response, but a natural one. Now you’re getting an honest smile. And that’s the photo you want.

I used to have a practice that whenever someone came in to see me in my office, I would give them an “I Like You” button. I would give these to everyone—kids, spouses, everybody got one. While some were a little bit surprised at first, they soon realized from our conversation that I wanted them to know they were the most important thing in the world at that moment. The smiles on their faces let me know immediately that they appreciated that. If I pinned the button on one of the kids, they would look up at me and smile. Interestingly, a customer once asked me why I never put my name on those buttons. My response was simply that I wanted them to wear them and, in turn, share their smiles and good wishes with others.

It wasn’t important to have my name on their button. What was important, though, is that they all remembered it started with Joe Girard. The people who ran the dealership thought I was crazy for spending money on stuff like that. But I knew what I was doing. I was not looking to sell someone a single car or truck. I was looking to build customers for life. I wanted to capture their hearts, not their wallets. If I did that, I knew the rewards would follow.

So there are seven ideas on how to get a little extra “smile-age” out of your life. They should be easy enough to follow because they’re instinctive. The most difficult thing to do will most certainly be smiling when things aren’t going so well or when you have to do business with perfect strangers. But you can overcome that. There’s a technique I use when I give lectures that helps “break the ice” for everyone in the audience. I don’t care if they’re having a bad day or not. I can take perfect strangers and instantly introduce them to a “new friend”—the person sitting right next to them. Here’s how:

I tell members of the audience to turn to the person right next to them and simply say, “I like you.” Their focus immediately shifts to that moment with the person right next to them. Nothing else matters. What’s happened in their day up to that point comes to a screeching halt. Their shyness takes a back seat. Then I tell them to say it again to the person on the other side of them. From on stage, I can see their faces light up the entire room with the biggest smiles you ever saw. The interesting thing is that they all had that smile stashed away inside them all along. I simply gave them a reason to let it out. Can you imagine what this world would be like if we could get everyone to turn to their neighbor and say “I LIKE YOU”? In the words of the jazz singer Louis Armstrong, “What a wonderful world.” Indeed.

Put on a Happy Face

One of the most famous smiles you’ll ever see is the yellow “smiley” face that tells you to “Have a Nice Day.” We all know the one. It’s such a simple happy face, yet it’s been cheering up people for almost half a century now. Whenever I see one on a hat, a button, a T-shirt, a bumper sticker, or even on a spare tire cover, it always has a way of brightening up my day in a snap, even if I’m having a lousy one. No matter how bad things seem, it makes me realize I can turn my frown upside down if I just let it. And that’s something we can all identify with.

If you’ve got a chip on your shoulder about life, then “knock it off” now! If you don’t, it will be the stone around your neck from which you will eventually drown in your misery. Although life may seem unfair at times, you still have more to smile about than you may think. You decide.

For the Smiles of Your Life

I’ve been purposely focusing on what smiling can do for you and your life. But what your smile can do for others you come in contact with can be life-changing for them. This is especially significant when it comes to the smiles that belong to the people you care most deeply about—your family. These are the people you always greet with a smile, not a frown. They are the ones you inspire and influence with love and understanding, not intimidation and punishment. In my world, my wife Kitty’s smile is the first thing I see when I come home. Behind that smile is the heart and soul of what makes me tick. She knows how to lift my spirits when I get down as well as how to slow me down when I want things to move a little quicker. It is her genuine and radiant smile that assures me she is always there for me. And for that I am eternally grateful—the love of my life.

Over the years, many people have touched me with their smiles, and I believe I have touched many people with mine, including the customers I have sold and serviced—that’s 13,001 smiles to be exact, relationships and bonds all secured with a handshake and a smile. An interesting way to look back on what you have achieved in your life will be to recall all the smiles you created on the faces of people you came in contact with. It would be an interesting yardstick for measuring your success. What a perfect way to be remembered—by the smiles of your life.