INTIMACY IS ABOUT GROWING MORE THAN YOU COULD BY YOURSELF, THROUGH THE ART OF MUTUAL GIFTING.

David Deida

CHAPTER 2

KAMA SUTRA POSITIONS

Inspired by the classic kama sutra postures, this chapter offers a selection of exciting sexual positions. You’ll discover the kama sutra’s playful nature, with lovemaking inspired by animals, and adventurous postures for more flexible lovers.

While the positions and practices were originally written with only a man and a woman in mind, they can be adapted for same-sex and nonbinary couples. Some negotiation will be required regarding who will be the penetrating partner, what tool to use for penetration, and how best to adjust the position to suit your needs. With creativity and curiosity, you can update this ancient text to serve you and your partner’s desires, whatever they may be.

What is most important is the love connection between you and your partner. Having fun by trying out new ways of making love is one way to explore and deepen that connection. And if during your explorations you do discover that a certain posture takes you to new—and hitherto unimaginable—heights of erotic pleasure, then so much the better!

THE BLOSSOM

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This flowing set of peaceful, intimate, lying-down postures offers a gentle starting point for your lovemaking, with the promise of passion.

ENVELOPING EMBRACE

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"WHEN LOVERS EMBRACE EACH OTHER SO CLOSELY THAT THE ARMS AND THIGHS OF THE ONE ARE ENCIRCLED BY THE ARMS AND THIGHS OF THE OTHER, AND ARE, AS IT WERE, RUBBING UP AGAINST THEM, THIS IS CALLED AN EMBRACE LIKE 'THE MIXTURE OF SESAME SEED WITH RICE.'"

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Starting in a classic man-on-top pose, the “clasping position” is a gentle, tender embrace. With the man’s legs stretched straight out over the woman’s, take your time to enjoy feeling the full length of your bodies pressed against each other as you gaze into each other’s eyes or kiss deeply.

2

Movement is limited as you clasp, which provides a very gentle opening that blossoms into the “pressing position,” where the yoni is pressed by the lingam. The woman brings her thighs together under her lover to hold his lingam tightly inside her. In this position she can caress his back and grip his buttocks.

3

With the sexual energy rising, the woman raises one leg to place her thigh across the thigh of her lover, hooking her ankle under his buttock in the “twining position.” Her hands are free to reach down easily to stimulate her clitoris and caress her lover. In this position, deeper penetration is possible, and the man can press down on his hands or elbows to ease his weight off his lover’s body and experiment with different angles of penetration.

SWEET LOVE

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The sexual tension gradually builds up in this sequence of peaceful positions as the woman continues to recline, perhaps resting on pillows, and her lover crouches in front.

DIRECTING YOU LOVER

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"WHILE A MAN IS DOING TO THE WOMAN WHAT HE LIKES BEST DURING CONGRESS, HE SHOULD ALWAYS MAKE A POINT OF PRESSING THOSE PARTS OF HER BODY ON WHICH SHE TURNS HER EYES."

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The man squats, resting his weight on his feet. His lover reclines in front of him and, raising her buttocks so they rest on the insides of her partner’s thighs, draws back her legs, bending her knees so that her thighs are close to her chest. As the man enters her, she places her feet on her lover’s chest, forming the “pressed position.” From here, the man can vary the depth and direction of his thrusts as he caresses her thighs and breasts while, with her legs drawn back, the woman feels a delicious buildup of tension in her vaginal muscles.

2

To move into a variation—the “packed position”—which offers subtly different sensations for both lovers, the woman crosses one ankle over the other, creating a tight fit between lingam and yoni. Experiment with crossing and uncrossing your ankles to vary the pressure against the sides of the yoni, or the more flexible can try crossing their legs above the knee.

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Now, with ankles uncrossed, the woman stretches out one leg toward the sky or along her lover’s side, leaving the other bent toward her chest. In this highly arousing position, the man caresses his lover’s legs and breasts while thrusting gently. The woman enjoys the sensation of her partner’s movements against her clitoris.

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SPOONS

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The “spoons position” is a beautifully tender embrace to move into when your lovemaking is winding down. Bodies pressed against each other, you can relax and drift into sleep, feeling loved and protected. This peaceful sequence starts with a deeply penetrative position and subsides gently into “spoons.”

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At the height of passion, a position that allows deep penetration is extremely satisfying. With both lovers fully aroused, the “alternate yawning position” is an erotic variation on the missionary position. The woman lies on her back and raises her legs high in the air. The man lies between her legs, resting his weight on his knees and hands, with his arms to the outside of his lover’s thighs and arms. The woman’s calves can be on her partner’s upper arms or, if they start to ache, she can bend her knees around his elbows. The man uses rhythmic thrusting movements, easily controlling the speed, depth, and angle of penetration, and his lover can also aid his movements by holding and moving his hips.

2

As the intensity of the passion starts to ease, the woman brings down her left leg a little and lifts her right leg over her partner to meet it.

3

The man rolls onto his left side, as his lover moves her body at right angles to his and places both her legs over his thighs. The woman raises her right arm to hold his head, as the lovers gaze into each other’s eyes. After the vigorous passion of the previous position, the side-by-side “carriage” is a perfect resting posture.

4

Now, to nestle together “spoons-style,” the woman brings both legs over her partner’s, turns onto her left side and moves her body around so that her back is pressed against her lover’s chest. He can nuzzle his face into the back of her neck and clasp her waist or caress her breasts with his right hand. Try breathing in tune with each other, sustaining the connection between you, as you drift peacefully off in your own world.

SKY FOOT

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Props, such as a low table, provide a useful support when trying out different lovemaking positions. Make sure it is sturdy, and cover it with soft fabrics and pillows for extra comfort.

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The woman lies on a low, narrow table, holding onto the sides, while the man stands or sits between her legs. She reclines, he moves forward, and, as he enters her, she raises her legs straight up so that her thighs rest on his stomach.

2

From this position he can alternate deep and shallow thrusts, and, by pushing her hands down on the table, the woman can lift her hips and move them in a delicious circling motion. She can also bring her legs together and slightly cross them to alter the pleasurable sensations against the wall of her yoni.

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When the excitement becomes too intense, the “fixing a nail” position offers a gentle interlude. The woman raises one leg and places the heel of her foot on her lover’s forehead. He caresses her foot, they rest for a few moments, then she brings that leg down to his shoulder and stretches out the other. Slowly repeating this—raising and extending each leg alternately—is called “splitting the bamboo” and has the effect of massaging the lingam in an exquisite fashion.

ARROW OF LOVE

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The “arrow of love” is a beautiful position to try on a low couch or bench. Make sure you have plenty of soft pillows for the woman to lie on and to ease the pressure on the man’s knees.

HITTING THE MARK

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"WITH THE WOMAN'S BODY NOW BENT INTO THE SHAPE OF A BOW, HE SHOULD AIM HIS 'ARROW OF LOVE.' THIS IS A PARTICULARLY FINE LOVEMAKING POSITION WHICH IS MUCH ENJOYED BY BOTH PARTNERS."

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The woman reclines and raises her legs up so that her thighs rest against the sides of her breasts, holding them back with her hands. As her lover enters her, she arches her body in the shape of a bow and rests her ankles on his shoulders as he holds her thighs, or supports his weight with his hands beside her.

2

With the opening of her yoni receiving strong stimulation in this position, her lover can alter his position and vary the depth and style of his thrusts.

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WIFE OF INDRA

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This classic kama sutra pose requires some flexibility, and is most easily practiced at the end of the bed or on a chair. If you are lucky enough to have a double-sized hammock (covered with a soft blanket for extra comfort), the following exciting sequence of positions uses the natural swinging movement of the hammock to enhance erotic sensations.

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The woman reclines with her legs apart and over the edge of the bed, chair, or hammock. The man stands in front of her between her legs and, holding her hands, lifts her up to a sitting position. As he does this, she raises her legs up so that her buttocks and the heels of her feet are resting on the very edge of the bed, chair, or hammock, and her thighs are drawn up close to her body.

2

The man gently pulls her on to his erect lingam, in the “wife of Indra” position. She holds his lingam tightly in her yoni. The swinging of a hammock to slide along his lingam gives sensational results. The woman can hold her lover’s hips to control the movement or steady the edge of the hammock with her hands.

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As her legs start to tire, the woman stretches them out along the sides of her lover’s waist and then bends her knees and places her feet on his hips. Now she can push herself on and off him as he holds her hips or feet. Finally, she perches on the edge of the surface and wraps her legs around her lover for a close embrace.

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THE MONKEY

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The “monkey” sequence is a seated position in which the woman is lifted up by her lover and moved around on his lingam before she turns in his lap, while still united, to face away from him. It’s not easy, but it’s a fun position to play around with, especially if you feel moved to mimic the noises of the animal you’re imitating.

NATURAL LOVEMAKING

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"AN INGENIOUS PERSON SHOULD MULTIPLY THE KINDS OF CONGRESS AFTER THE FASHION OF THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF BEASTS AND OF BIRDS. FOR THESE DIFFERENT KINDS OF CONGRESS, PERFORMED ACCORDING TO THE USAGE OF EACH COUNTRY, AND THE LIKING OF EACH INDIVIDUAL, GENERATE LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, AND RESPECT IN THE HEARTS OF WOMEN."

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The man kneels with the woman sitting astride him on his lap. He raises her up by passing his arms under her legs and uses his elbows to move her backward and forward, toward and away from him. The woman supports herself with her arms outstretched behind her. This position can be tiring for the man unless he has very strong arm muscles; he can rest between movements by kneeling forward slightly and gently placing his lover on a pillow while still staying within her.

2

To reverse the monkey, the woman lifts her left leg and passes it over the head of her lover. She is now sitting on his lap “sidesaddle,” a lovely position for close, cradling embracing.

3

She gently turns her body so that she is facing away from her partner.

TURNING POSITION

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It is exciting to move from one position to another while keeping the lingam and yoni united. Here is a way of reversing direction—without withdrawing—that can be attempted in a spirit of playfulness.

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The man lies on top of the woman with his legs between hers.

2

He carefully raises his left leg and then his right over her right leg. Using his arms as support, and without withdrawing, he slowly moves both legs around.

3

Finally, he is facing in the opposite direction with his thighs either side of his lover’s waist. The woman can now grip his waist with her thighs as he thrusts back into her.

THE ZOOKEEPER

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As well as enabling deep penetration, rear-entry positions are visually exciting for the man and also allow him to reach around and caress his lover’s breasts and provide extra clitoral stimulation.

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This sequence begins with one of the more challenging standing postures. The woman stands with her back to the man and leans back against him. He caresses her stomach, hips, and breasts and reaches down around the front of her thigh to stroke her clitoris.

2

When the lovers can hold back no longer, he bends his knees and enters her from behind, in the “ass” position. Clasping her hips and waist, he can move her up and down on his lingam as she bends and straightens her legs, rising up to her toes if need be, depending on the difference in heights.

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As the man’s legs begin to tire, the woman bends forward from the waist and reaches down to the ground with her hands (or rests them on a pillow), into “congress of a cow.” Still united, the lovers gently lower themselves to the ground and, as the man kneels behind the woman, continue in the “elephant position.” The woman kneels with her head raised. Here, she can help direct the speed and depth of the man’s movements with her own hip movements. She can also use a churning motion, rising up higher onto her hands or sinking farther into the ground with hips raised as the passion increases.

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CLIMBING OF A TREE

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This beautifully tender standing embrace can easily be adopted when overcome by passion and in a hurry. The kama sutra suggests using a “wall or pillar” for “supported congress.” The sequence starts with the “knee elbow” position, which works best if the woman is much lighter than her lover. If this isn’t the case, be careful to avoid back strain and, if need be, move straight to the “climbing of a tree” position.

TENDER EMBRACE

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"WHEN A WOMAN, HAVING PLACED ONE OF HER FEET ON THE FOOT OF HER LOVER, AND THE OTHER ON ONE OF HIS THIGHS, PASSES ONE OF HER ARMS AROUND HIS BACK, AND THE OTHER ON HIS SHOULDERS, MAKES SLIGHTLY THE SOUNDS OF SINGING AND COOING, AND WISHES, AS IT WERE, TO CLIMB UP HIM IN ORDER TO HAVE A KISS, IT IS CALLED AN EMBRACE LIKE THE 'CLIMBING OF A TREE.'"

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The man may rest his weight against a wall and, keeping his knees slightly bent, takes his lover in his arms. As they unite, she “climbs” up him, with her arms around his shoulders, until her feet are toward the middle of his thighs and her bent knees are level with his elbows. Her lover supports her knees with his elbows and uses his hands to give extra support to her legs. If his arms are strong he will be able to lift her up and down. The “knee elbow” is a deeply passionate position but one that requires a great deal of strength in the man.

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As the woman drops one leg down the man supports her other leg in the palm of his hand—a very tender gesture. She embraces him with one arm around his shoulders, then rests her raised foot on his thigh, in the “climbing of a tree” pose.

TWINING OF A CREEPER

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The standing positions require a strong back in the man and flexibility in the woman. Take care not to overdo it in the heat of passion. Always bend from your knees when lifting your partner and keep your movements slow and smooth. If you have back problems, avoid lifting and carrying your lover.

ENTWINED EMBRACE

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"WHEN A WOMAN, CLINGING TO A MAN AS A CREEPER TWINES AROUND A TREE, BENDS HIS HEAD DOWN TO HERS WITH THE DESIRE OF KISSING HIM AND SLIGHTLY MAKES THE SOUND OF 'SUT SUT,' EMBRACES HIM, AND LOOKS LOVINGLY TOWARD HIM, IT IS CALLED AN EMBRACE LIKE THE 'TWINING OF A CREEPER.'"

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The man leans back against a wall and his lover embraces him.

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The woman raises one leg and wraps it around the outside of her lover’s thigh in order for him to enter her while he supports her by holding her waist and buttocks.

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Twining her body around her lover, the woman wraps her raised leg around her lover’s leg and embraces him passionately. The man’s movements are limited in this position, so it is up to the woman to control the depth and pace of lovemaking, although her lover can help her by supporting some of her weight and she may also be able to brace herself against the wall.

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PAIR OF TONGS

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Positions that do not require you to remove too many clothes or much movement are ideal for spontaneous sex, especially when you’re not totally sure the spot you’ve chosen is completely secluded.

This position relies on the woman having strong vaginal muscles.

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The man sits and the woman sits in his lap, his lingam inside her. Using her “love muscle,” she grips his lingam and uses a steady squeeze-and-release technique, or a fluttering motion like a butterfly’s wings.

2

In this position, penetration is deep, but all the movement is within the woman’s yoni, so, with careful layering of clothes or a blanket, it can look like you are just enjoying a close embrace.

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THE MERMAID

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Splashing about in water is a sensual experience that lends itself perfectly to lovemaking, whether you are on a beach, in a private swimming pool, by the shores of a lake, or playing in a stream.

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After playing in the water, kissing, splashing, and enjoying the feel of the warm water all over your bodies, embrace closely, enjoying the sensation of your wet bodies touching. If you feel confident about holding your breath under water, you could go under the water and tease each other orally. Come up for breath before you feel you really need to, then take another full breath and go down again. If you’re being pleasured in this way, be careful not to hold your lover’s head under the water in your excitement.

2

When you are both fully aroused, the woman clasps her lover around the neck and wraps her legs around his waist. He enters her. Up-and-down movement is easy with the help of the water. Keep your balance by taking little steps forward or backward every so often and by moving your arms in the water. Enjoy tumbling over together into the water as you climax!

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SPORTING OF SWANS

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“Sporting of swans” is a woman-on-top sequence—pure delight for the man. It is a lovely position to try on the shoreline with gentle waves lapping against your bodies.

TAKING PLEASURE

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"THE WIFE, HAVING PLACED HER HUSBAND AT FULL LENGTH, SITS AT SQUAT UPON HIS THIGHS, CLOSES HER LEGS FIRMLY AFTER SHE HAS EFFECTED INSERTION; AND, MOVING HER WAIST IN A CIRCULAR FORM, CHURNING AS IT WERE, ENJOYS HER HUSBAND AND THOROUGHLY SATISFIES HERSELF."

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The man lies down comfortably on his back. His lover lowers herself onto him and squats above him. If comfortable, she can place her feet on his hips. This is the traditional posture—the woman may need to steady herself by clasping her lover’s raised hands, and should be careful to place her heels directly on the man’s hips. Alternatively, she can place her feet on the ground on either side of his buttocks.

2

As well as being an exciting position for the man, this is an extremely satisfying one for the woman as she can control the angle of penetration and the speed of thrusting—she moves up and down, or circles her pelvis—and her lover can reach up to caress her. From this posture, known as the “bee buzzing over man” position, the woman places one foot on her lover’s chest and then brings it around to meet her other foot so that she has both feet on one side of her lover and supports herself on her elbows or hands on his other side.

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THE CRAB

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This sequence imitates the crab when it is moving, with its front claws drawn inward. It allows a great buildup of sexual tension in the woman’s thighs and vaginal area.

1

The man kneels, comfortably sitting back on his heels. His lover sits astride him and clasps her hands around his neck.

2

Lifting her feet off the ground, the woman leans back and raises her legs as the man supports her back with his hands. In this position you can rock gently backward and forward and the woman can deepen the angle of penetration by lifting her legs.

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The woman now slowly lowers her back to the ground and raises both legs, bent at the knee, so that her thighs rest on her stomach. Her lover can continue to thrust from his kneeling position while caressing her legs.

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THE LOTUS

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In the ancient Indian books of love, sex is more than just a profound expression of passion between lovers; it can also be a gateway to spiritual awakening and divine bliss.

In Tantric mythology the “lotus” position represents the union of the male and female principle and cosmic oneness. It is a loving, intimate embrace that creates a circuit of sexual energy between your two intertwined bodies.

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The man sits in the lotus position (or with crossed legs if the lotus is too intense) and the woman sits on his lap and wraps her legs around his waist. They gaze into each other’s eyes and feel the love connection between them.

2

Then the woman gently lifts herself onto her lover’s lingam. While a limited amount of movement can be achieved in this intimate position by a gentle rocking of the pelvis and by squeezing and relaxing the love muscle, the aim of the lotus is to become aware of the flow of sexual energy moving around your bodies.

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Now place your arms, legs, and mouth so they exactly touch the corresponding parts of your partner’s body. This is the “tortoise position,” which creates an even stronger circuit of energy between your two bodies, especially if you complete it with deep, erotic kissing.

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THE SNAKE TRAP

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In divine sex, the harmonious shapes you make during lovemaking are designed to link the corresponding parts of your bodies and create circuits around which sexual energy can flow freely.

1

The man sits with his legs outstretched and the woman sits on his lap, her legs wrapped around his waist, and in a strong embrace they kiss and arouse each other.

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When the man’s lingam is erect, the woman lifts herself on to it and stretches out her legs, then reaches behind her body to hold her lover’s feet. The man holds onto both her feet.

3

There is no deep thrusting in this position, although you can both rock backward and forward to increase the level of stimulation. Enjoy the stillness of these intimate postures—try breathing in tune with each other, gaze into each other’s souls, and discover the divine within your lover. The most important thing is that there’s no need to rush. If the man loses his erection, then simply change positions and engage in more foreplay before uniting again.

WHEEL OF KAMA

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According to the ancient love manual, the Ananga-Ranga, the “wheel of kama” is a position “much enjoyed by voluptuous lovers.” This gentle posture is considered to be a harmonious one in which to channel and resonate energy.

1

Sit opposite each other with legs crossed and knees touching. Each of you places your right palm on the other’s heart. Now place your left hand over your lover’s right hand, covering it.

2

Gaze into each other’s eyes and breathe in harmony, exhaling and inhaling at the same time. Feel the love connection between you, streaming out of your hearts and back in through your hands.

Keeping the same position, touch your foreheads together. Close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of closeness and intimacy.

3

As you exhale, send your breath into your lover’s third eye, in the center of the forehead. Pause while your lover inhales it from their third eye and exhales it back to you as you inhale.

4

Now, the man stretches out his legs and parts them. The woman sits on his lap, thighs gripping his waist and legs also outstretched. Hold each other’s shoulders, lean backward, and continue to soul gaze.

5

When the time is right, the woman rises up and lowers herself onto her lover’s lingam. At this point, reach for each other’s hands and extend your arms out sideways, so that, from above, your outstretched arms and legs resemble the spokes of a wheel. The woman can use her love muscle (see here) for vaginal fluttering in this position to maintain the erotic tension. As she tightens and releases her yoni around her lover’s lingam, try to visualize the flow of sexual energy moving upward from your genitals and flowing through your bodies.

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THE SWING

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New and intense sensations may be experienced when you try adventurous positions that make the most of the suppleness of your bodies and imaginations. The “swing” is a woman-on-top position that offers delicious sensations for the woman and a novel view for the man. It can be adapted according to the suppleness of the man.

1

The man lies flat on his back with his lover straddling him, facing forward toward him and resting on her knees. With her heels hooked under his thighs and his hands clasping her waist or hips, she bends back into the “cobra,” her arms stretched out behind her with palms pressed down on the floor.

2

As she leans back, she stretches out each leg in turn, so that her feet are on either side of her lover’s head, and then gently lifts her left leg over his head to join her right leg.

3

She carefully moves her body round—supporting her weight on her hands by moving her left arm around the front of her body to meet her right arm—so that she is not twisting her lover’s lingam, and ends up facing away from him.

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In the traditional version, the man arches his back so that the middle part of his body is lifted off the ground while his lover, now raised up onto her feet, rocks backward and forward. If the man’s back is not strong enough to do this, then it is just as satisfying for him to be lying flat with the woman either sitting up straight or resting forward on her hands.

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She can control the depth of penetration—perhaps teasing him by lifting up so that he is only slightly inside her and circling her hips, then pushing down so that the whole length of him is inside—and he can caress her buttocks.

THE WHEEL

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This exciting position requires the woman to have a supple back and strong arms. The reward is a pose that is both visually and physically stimulating.

1

The woman lies on her back and draws up her legs so that the heels of her feet are close to her buttocks. She raises her arms and lifts them over her head, resting her hands on the ground with her fingers pointing toward her shoulders.

2

She takes a deep breath, then lifts her hips up off the ground, presses down through the palms of her hands, and rests the crown of her head on the floor.

3

The man approaches, bends his knees and, holding her firmly, lifts her off the ground and enters her as she supports herself with both feet still on the ground. The man firmly supports her weight with both hands.

4

The woman can wrap her legs around the man’s body, still supporting herself with her hands and with the crown of her head on the ground. You may not be able to hold this challenging position for very long, but it benefits from an interesting angle of penetration for the man and, for the woman, making love with her head thrown back or upside down, can strongly intensify the sensations of orgasm.

THE SPINNING TOP

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The “spinning top” is a classic kama sutra position. But it is also almost impossible and potentially dangerous for the man. This variation captures the spirit of the position—with less risk.

ENVELOPING EMBRACE

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"WITH FLOWERS IN HER HAIR HANGING LOOSE, AND HER SMILES BROKEN BY HARD BREATHINGS, SHE SHOULD PRESS UPON HER LOVER'S BOSOM WITH HER OWN BREASTS, AND LOWERING HER HEAD FREQUENTLY, SHOULD DO IN RETURN THE SAME ACTIONS WHICH HE USED TO DO BEFORE, RETURNING HIS BLOWS AND CHAFFING HIM, SHOULD SAY, 'I WAS LAID DOWN BY YOU, AND FATIGUED WITH HARD CONGRESS, I SHALL NOW THEREFORE LAY YOU DOWN IN RETURN.'"

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The man lies back with his legs straight. His lover straddles him with her knees bent and her feet on either side of his body. Using his knees as support, she leans back, raises her legs, and carefully crosses them so that she is in full lotus position, perched on her lover’s lingam.

2

From here she can rock herself forward and backward, sliding up and down the lingam in long, smooth strokes, rather than the circling of the classic “spinning top.” If the man has strong arms he can also lift her up and down by placing his arms under her legs.

3

If the woman is unable to sustain the full lotus for very long, she can rest her weight on each hand in turn on the ground as she uses the other hand to unfold each leg, place them on either side of her lover’s body, so that her feet are by his head, and then press down on her hands to move her body.

THE WOMAN'S ROLE

"THOUGH A WOMAN IS RESERVED, AND KEEPS HER FEELINGS CONCEALED; YET WHEN SHE GETS ON THE TOP OF A MAN, SHE THEN SHOWS ALL HER LOVE AND DESIRE."

THE DOVES

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With her back arched and head thrown back in passion, the doves is an exciting and athletic position that requires a high level of flexibility in the woman and a strong back and arms in the man.

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The man sits on a chair and his lover sits on his lap facing him. He clasps his hands around her buttocks and gently pulls her onto him.

2

The woman begins to lean back, her legs now outstretched along either side of her lover’s body, while he supports her back with his hands. She holds his arms to help her balance and moves her hands down to his thighs as she continues to lower her body.

3

Finally, the woman leans back to her full extent, with her back arched and the crown of her head toward the floor. In this erotic pose, her lover grips her waist, supporting her lower back, and moves her gently.

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TENDER AFTERPLAY

Afterplay—enjoying the warm, blissful postcoital time of intimacy—is as vital to great lovemaking as foreplay. Just as lovemaking should start slowly, so it should also end slowly.

When your lovemaking reaches its natural conclusion and you both lie happily exhausted in each other’s arms, let the loving connection and mood you have nurtured continue for as long as possible, by staying in the moment.

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Stay in the moment

As Vatsyayana suggests, caressing, stroking, and kissing are just as valuable after lovemaking as before. Soft words, appreciating your lover, and sharing thoughts and feelings come naturally in this intimate time—let them flow.

Afterplay also continues long after you’ve returned to your everyday lives with all the pressures of work and family. A fulfilling and passionate sex life lays firm foundations for closeness throughout your relationship and the bond of intimacy created by shared sexual bliss nourishes the connection with your lover afterward, even when you are apart.

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LOVE PLAY

"IF THE LOVERS SPEND TIME PLAYING WITH AND CARESSING EACH OTHER BOTH AT THE BEGINNING AND AT THE END OF THEIR LOVING, THEN THEIR ECSTASY AND CONFIDENCE INCREASE. LOVE-PLAY ENHANCES PLEASURE."

Grounding energy

Lovemaking generates huge amounts of powerful energy. If you’ve ever felt “spaced-out” and light-headed after sex, re-establishing your connection with earth through grounding your energy will allow you to gently re-emerge into the world from the soft space you have been in without losing the blissful sensation.

You might ask your lover to massage your feet gently and hold them enfolded in their hands for a few moments. Other good “earthing” activities to share after sex include eating a little light food and some simple stretches: rise up on your toes, from a standing position, then lower your heels to the ground (bending your knees), feeling yourself push against gravity, and then sinking into it.

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