10

Redemption

I stood motionless, not knowing what to say or feel. This day that started like any other – waking up in the shelter and thanking the higher powers that be that I’d lived another day to see the rising sun – had taken on a life of its own.

I couldn’t help but feel how my own perseverance to survive had brought me to this moment. How my own perseverance – however meager it was to just get through the day alive – had taken me on an incredible journey that no man could imagine or could expect.

I thought back to the times I’d given up in my life – how I abandoned my dreams because I thought I wasn’t good enough – or, worse – because others thought I wasn’t good enough.

JJ instructed me to return to the purple room where I’d begun my journey and wait for further instructions from Kris.

I walked slowly back to where it had all started for me that afternoon. Unlike that journey that began in darkness and ambiguity, this one took place under a beautiful sky full of Christmas lights and clarity. I felt an excitement that I hadn’t felt in many years. It reminded me of the way you feel when something remarkable and surreal is truly happening and you just go along for the ride – without trying to label the experience or ask why.

I paced the purple room nervously, alone in deep thought. I gave the wall a swipe and saw that the paint was already dry to the touch. I brushed my fingers over the items I’d interacted with – the ladder and the paintbrush – and appreciated how my perspective had changed. What were once inanimate objects to me had become living, breathing necessities that had purpose.

Kris entered, followed by everyone else who participated in my day of receiving the Beans. The attentiveness in the room was powerful – and liberating – although no one spoke a word while they formed a line against the wall behind Kris.

I looked around and couldn’t help feeling connected with all of the others. Even though no one in the room showed any kind of emotion on their faces, I had to believe that they all experienced the same sparkle.

“We’ve come to the last step on your journey, Joe; in many ways, the most important one,” pronounced a solemn Kris. “You’ve experienced many things today and I told you earlier that certain occurrences would be explained as we went along. So – now, do you have any questions about what happened?”

Kris must’ve been kidding – all I had were questions. The whole thing was so overwhelming that I didn’t know where to begin – so I began at the beginning.

“How do the Beans work?” I inquired. “I mean – those things I felt – how do you know how each person will respond?”

“Each person’s experience is unique. Adult or child – what you feel is what is specifically important to you at that moment.”

“Who put this all together? I mean, the whole operation runs more efficiently than most businesses I’ve seen.”

Kris didn’t answer right away, as if he were searching for the exact words to answer that question.

“Remember that wise man I told you about?” Kris asked. “The one who was so fed up with the way the world had become – so cynical and filled with hatred – that he began the ritual again?”

“Yes?” I answered, like a question.

“That person was me, Joe. I was the one who created all of what you see here, along with the help of many great people, including everyone here in this room. We didn’t spare any expense to make sure that what we do here is as close as possible to what that secret organization did many years ago. No advertising, no social media, no going into schools – everything is done by invitation and word of mouth – just as it was done in centuries past.”

I had a lump in my throat for what seemed like an eternity as I considered what he’d just told me. I peered into his deep, dark eyes, overcome by feeling – as if I were looking into the heart of this great man.

“I don’t know what else to say,” I stammered.

“We don’t have much time, Joe. This efficient operation, as you call it, must move on, because now it’s time for the most important part – the children. Remember what I told you earlier in the day while we were in the limo – about you giving back? Now it’s time for you to make your decision.”

Kris stared straight into my confused eyes.

“What is it you would like to do, Joe?”

I stood motionless as I processed Kris’ words. Yes, I remembered what he told me and, most shamefully, what I’d thought at the time – about not following through on my commitment. Now it seemed like that thought had occurred ages ago – when I truly was a different person, and in my mind, I had now already committed. But … to what?

What did I want to do? All of the beautiful experiences I had just been through and would treasure forever, all of the wisdom I’d gained in such a short time – what would be the best way for me to give back?

I really wanted to tell Kris that I preferred to do what Monica, Jerry and all the others did – hand out the Beans, but I knew that I wasn’t qualified. It seemed as if Kris had so perfectly chosen each of them that I couldn’t imagine anyone else doing it. But I had to ask anyway.

“I want to do what everyone here in the room is doing – give out the Beans.”

Kris remained unaffected and emotionally blank.

“You think you’re ready for a position like that? To take someone from a place of unawareness to a place of understanding? I’m sorry, but that’s impossible,” Kris stated. “Those positions are all filled and will remain so until someone decides to retire or do something else. What else can you do?” Kris scowled.

I hesitated for a moment, since it was the first time I’d felt threatened by Kris. I knew time was short and it seemed as if he were getting impatient with me. Why I thought this would be a good time for humor is beyond me, but I assume that the pressure of the situation was what did it.

“I think I do a pretty good job of painting and hanging Christmas lights,” I joked. “How about something like that?”

My answer didn’t go over well and Kris remained stoic.

“Is that what you’re best suited for – a man with your business background?”

I didn’t know where Kris was going with this. He knew my business background – and it stunk.

“I guess I don’t have any idea about what else is available,” I added in a serious voice. “Obviously, it takes many people to put this all together. Perhaps there’s something else you can recommend that I’d be able to contribute to.”

My words hung in the air, and there was a palpable silence in the room for the longest time before Kris responded.

“I do have one opening that I believe you’d be perfect for – to give the Bean of Purpose.”

I must have looked pretty stupid standing there with a blank look on my face because I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard.

“I’m sorry, Kris – it sounded like you said I would be perfect for handing out the Bean of Purpose.”

“I did, Joe.”

I looked around at the other faces in the room to see if any of them were in on the joke and laughing, but no one moved a muscle.

“Well, I’m at a loss here, Kris. I thought you give out the Bean of Purpose?”

“I do,” Kris deliberately spoke. “I did.”

Kris moved across the room as he spoke, partially to diffuse the tension and partially so no one could see the tears forming in his eyes.

“The time has come for me to retire, Joe – and I’ve chosen you to be my successor and carry on the Beans of Wisdom legacy. This is my wish for you if you choose to accept it.”

I don’t think I heard everything Kris had just said because I felt like I was in a trance, like when you receive news just too incredible to comprehend. My eyes began to water as it hit me and I realized what he’d just said.

I couldn’t believe it – I didn’t believe it! There’d only been a few times in my life when I’d gotten such extraordinary news and those times had been long gone – when I was in a much better place. This must’ve been a mistake.

“You don’t even know anything about me – except that I’m homeless and a failure at everything I do – whether it’s in business, or as a husband and a father,” I pushed back. “Why would you want me?”

“On the contrary, Joe – I know exactly everything I need to know about you and your ability to be a great leader. I know that you now have great purpose in your life and that you’ll do anything to help your employees find theirs. I also know that you now love yourself unconditionally and that you’ll use that love to facilitate your employees’ metamorphosis.”

“You’ve received the gift of tolerance and, now that you have it, you’ll always understand and accept not just others’ differences, failures and shortcomings, but also your own. You’ve also experienced the powerful gift of forgiveness, not just for yourself, but also for your enemies, your competitors and anyone else you held resentment for.”

“The power of compassion and the experience of connecting with other human beings, not just when they’re in pain or suffering, but also during their moments of great joy, is now yours. You also received the gift of faith to help you make both you and your employees’ dreams come true.”

“But, maybe more importantly, now that you understand the secret of perseverance, you need never allow yourself – or your employees – give up on goals and dreams. Failure only happens because you stop trying.”

“Tell me, Joe – what else do I need to know about you?”

I collapsed to my knees and began to weep uncontrollably, in gratitude. I felt so weird and so joyful – it was the first time in memory that my elation didn’t involve a spreadsheet, an accountant or a profit & loss statement. It was my own pure joy.

I was paralyzed on the floor, not knowing what to think or feel when a sound brought me back to the moment. What else could have happened? How else could it be explained? From beyond the walls of the room I heard unmistakable music – beautiful Christmas music.

“Do you have any questions, Joe?” Kris asked.

I got up off the ground – a bit embarrassed – and took a deep breath to regain my composure.

“I do, Kris. How will I know what to do? I don’t know where to begin!”

“The most important thing at this moment is the children and the giving of the Beans. After that, you’ll return the day after Christmas and begin preparations for next year. Everything that took place today has to be reversed and the rooms have to be put back to their original condition for next time – for the next person to experience, exactly as you did.”

“Joe, there’s no time to explain everything fully right now, but suffice it to say that you’ll become the director of the foundation and be in charge of everything it stands for. Along with that responsibility comes a full support team that will train and guide you every step of the way.”

Kris looked at me very seriously, as he’d done hours ago in the limo.

“I need an answer, Joe.”

“Yes, I would be honored to accept, Kris.”

It was one of the few times that I actually saw Kris smile. It was as if the transfer of responsibility and leadership meant as much to him as it did to me. We hugged warmly while the others clapped and cheered.

“Okay everyone, it’s time,” Kris ordered. “Let’s get ready.”

The others filed out of the room, shaking my hand in congratulations as they did.

“So what do I do tonight?” I asked.

“You? You’ll give out the Bean of Purpose, of course.”

Kris pulled a key out of his pocket and placed it in my hand.

“And this is so you can lock up tonight on the way out.”