Chapter 5 Okay, So What Do You Want?

A major key to managing your time is deciding what is important to you. If you don’t decide what’s important to you, almost anything can (and will!) compete for your time and attention—and thereby dissipate your day, your week, your year, your career, and your life. Once you decide what’s important to you, you can then become a consultant to yourself to determine what it actually takes to maintain or achieve what you’ve designated as important. (If it seems the pieces are starting to fit together, read on. If not, read on anyway; they will.)

Getting real about what you want means being honest with yourself. It also means taking the time and trouble to compose a list of priorities, and it means reviewing your list often until your priorities sink in. (I know you’ve encountered this type of advice before, but if you had followed it well, you probably wouldn’t have bought this book! Call it a hunch. . . .)

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 Chronos Says If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there. It’s like the guy who jumped on his horse and ran off in all directions.

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What Would Tom Say?

What was important to Thomas Jefferson? Here are Jefferson’s Ten Rules:

• Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.
• Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
• Never spend your money before you have earned it.
• Never buy what you don’t want because it is cheap.
• Pride costs more than hunger, thirst, and cold.
• We seldom repent of having eaten too little.
• Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.
• How much pain the evils have cost us that never happened.
• Take things always by the smooth handle.
• When angry, count to 10 before you speak; if very angry, count 100.

What Makes Your Big List?

The great paradox about priorities is that if you have too many of them, then by definition they can’t all be priorities. Do you have 15 or 18 things that you list as top priorities in your life? If so, you’d better look again, because no one has time to pay homage to 15–18 top priorities. Life doesn’t work that way.

To help you identify what your priorities are, let’s look at the concerns that traditionally have served as top priorities for many people. I’m not saying that your list has to match this one—it probably won’t—but this is a starting point:

• Family
• Society
• Health and well-being
• Wealth
• Career growth
• Intellectual growth
• Spiritual growth

Let’s tackle each of these (suggested) priority areas one by one, with some concrete examples. Keep in mind that you may have others, not listed here, that are appropriate for you.

Addams Family Values

For most people, the family is Numero Uno. If you’re married and you love your spouse, being with your spouse is easily a top priority. If you have children and you love them, same situation. If you’re single, your priority may be to find a spouse and to raise a family someday, or to treat the people closest to you like a chosen family. If you’re in school, it may be to spend time with your nuclear family: your mom and dad, and your brothers and sisters.

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 A Stitch in Time As with all the priorities to be discussed, you want to attach goals—specific, action-oriented steps with timelines—to your priorities to reinforce them. Write them down.

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If family is a top priority, then one of your goals may be to listen to your spouse in earnest for at least 35 minutes three times per week. (Won’t he or she be pleased as punch if you listen at all—never mind three times a week!)

Likewise, there are a variety of other goals you can choose to support this priority. Here is a quick list of other possible goals related to family:

• Take the children for a day-trip once every two weeks.
• Have a photo of the family taken every other December; as a shared family project every year, put some old photos in a family chronicle.
• Have or adopt one or more children within seven years. (There are a lot of kids already out there who need good homes.)
• Send flowers to your spouse, unannounced, once a month.
• Buy life insurance to ensure your family’s prosperity in the event of your demise. (Maybe you’d better not announce this one.)
• Begin an annuity so you can more easily afford your child’s college education by the time he or she is ready to enter college 12 (or however many) years hence.

Many of the goals that support your family priority are related to other priorities, such as wealth, intellectual growth, and so forth. Actually, that’s understandable; it’s wonderfully efficient when you set goals that address more than one priority.

Society and You

If you want to do something about society’s woes (besides yelling at your TV set), participate in your community—help it be the best it can be. You might get involved with religious, social, fraternal, or community groups. You might choose to run for local office—not for purposes of ego gratification, but to give something of value back to the community. Here are some possible goals that may support your social priorities:

• Volunteer to serve on the Welcome Wagon Committee for new residents.
• Contribute to the XYZ campaign in the forthcoming election.
• Begin an environmental-awareness movement in your town by the first day of spring.
• Recycle your paper, plastic, glass, and other recyclable materials every week hereafter.
• Run for town council for the next term.
• Write, by the end of this summer, an article on the importance of nurturing America’s youth.
• Be the host to a foreign exchange student during the next academic year.
• Chair this season’s March of Dimes campaign in your region, or volunteer on a Habitat for Humanity project.
• Send one e-mail message per month to the major networks concerning the gratuitous violence on television.
• Coach a community-league sports team.
• Volunteer every two weeks at a local homeless shelter or kitchen.
• Tutor a student from your local elementary or high school.
• Participate in a community theater or choral production.

Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat! You may have surmised that it takes time and energy to support your priorities. Hold that thought. If your goal is to win back your time, why would you want suggestions for new stuff that you’re not currently undertaking? The answer: Tasks in support of your priorities do indeed help you win back your time. It’s less of a mystery than it might seem.

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 Chronos Says The few things that you’ll do in support of your priorities will take far less time than all the things you do now in support of who-knows-what. And they’ll have the added benefit of moving you closer to your goals. That’s time well spent!

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When you have 15–18 “priorities,” you’re involved in many tasks, some personally rewarding, some not. There is an inherent efficiency in identifying your priorities and establishing some goals to support those priorities.

Here’s to Your Health (and Well-Being)

It’s true. Even I, yours truly, have been duped. After a decade and a half of staying in top shape, surrounding myself with others who were doing the same, and reading articles that reinforced my beliefs about fitness, I thought all of society was also focused on health and well-being. Then I came across a report in the Journal of the American Medical Association that says the number of overweight Americans gained steadily in the past decade.

Depending on what study you read, between one-third and one-half of people over age 20 tip the scales in the wrong direction. “On average, adults weigh 8 pounds more than they did a decade ago,” say Dr. Robert Kuczmarski and colleagues at the National Center for Health Statistics in Hyattsville, Maryland. “Comparisons . . . indicate dramatic increases in the prevalence of overweight people,” Kuczmarski says. By some reports, America is the most obese nation on earth. Tsk, tsk.

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 Time Out! Check with your doctor before you start any exercise or diet program, of course—especially if you haven’t been exerting yourself much. You’ll get two benefits: (1) valuable (maybe life-saving) guidance, and (2) a kick out of the look on the doctor’s face.

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Dr. F. Xavier Pi-Sunyer, of St. Lukes-Roosevelt Hospital Center in New York City, observes that “while our caloric intake increases, our caloric expenditure decreases.” He also takes a dim view of duff-sitting: “Sedentariness has become a way of life.” (Slow and short, but a way of life.)

Couch potatoes, beware! This area—you guessed it—is another gold mine of worthy places to put time and energy. There are dozens of possible goals you could have in support of your health and well-being priority. Here’s a quick list; though not all will be for everyone, consider them in the light of your situation and lifestyle:

• Join a health club within a month and set a goal of working out four times per week for at least 30 minutes.
• Buy five healthy foods you’ve never tried.
• Take two health-and-fitness books out of the library, read them cover to cover, and gain at least five new ideas you’ll put into practice within one month.
• Become a lifetime member of a local bicycle club, walking club, or exercise group.
• Begin going on walking and hiking dates rather than going to restaurants and movies.
• Hire a fitness trainer in February.
• Get a good night’s sleep at least five times per week (more on sleep in Chapter 8, “To Sleep, Perchance to Not Wake Up Exhausted”).
• Have an annual check-up every January (especially important if you live alone and don’t cook).
• Take daily the vitamin supplements that meet your needs, as determined by a dietitian.
• Imbibe 50 percent less alcohol per week, starting this week.
• Make one weekend hike of at least 6 miles every weekend.
• Visit a nutritionist or dietitian this month to determine your nutritional needs.

The great thing about having well-being as a priority is that it gives you a license to engage in social and personal behaviors that you might not have otherwise. Picking up a piece of litter in a neighbor’s yard, for example, is good for you, is good for the neighbor, and is good for the community. I know a man who carefully tucks a $5 bill into the last 50 pages of classic novels on the shelves at the local library. He wants to anonymously reward people, albeit in a small way, who read such books. If you’re thinking, “Yeah right, five bucks down the drain. . . ,” perhaps you’re simply not ready for this level of well-being.

The Millionaire Next Door

I’m guessing that accumulating outrageous wealth isn’t one of your priorities, so I won’t spend too much time on this one . . . just kidding. Far be it from me to say that accumulating wealth is evil. The Bible says “the love of money is the root of all evil.” It doesn’t say that money per se is the root of all evil. You can accumulate as much wealth as you want, as long as you don’t love your money more than you love people or your country.

There are all kinds of wealth: intellectual wealth, spiritual wealth, and so forth. These are about to be covered in subsequent pages, so let’s confine the focus to economic wealth. Here are examples of goals you could choose in support of this priority:

• I will call a certified financial planner this month and pay him or her to advise me about how to invest for the future.
• I will start an IRA by this Friday and contribute x amount of dollars each month until I reach the maximum contribution level.
• This week, I will redirect my employer to automatically invest x amount from my paycheck in a 401(k), mutual fund account, or other investment.
• By next quarter, I will lower the number of deductions on my paycheck so I get a larger refund from the IRS after filing taxes at the end of this year.
• I will join an investment club this month, meet with the members monthly, learn about investment opportunities, and participate in intelligently selected group investments.
• During my next performance review, I will ask for an immediate raise and offer irrefutable supporting evidence that spells out the merits of my request.
• (For sales professionals) I will earn $x in commissions for the fourth quarter of 200X.
• By September 30, 200X, I will launch the business venture of my dreams.
• By the end of this month, using the spreadsheet on my computer to calculate cash flow, I will trim monthly expenditures by $400.
• Within six months, I will live within my means.
• I will open a retirement account with my credit union next week.
• I will bring my lunch to work at least three times per week.
• I will choose an automobile that gets better gas mileage.

The not-so-funny thing about amassing wealth is that for most people it’s a long-term affair. Only a tiny, tiny fraction of the population ever wins the lottery. (If you’ve ever thought you stand a better chance of getting struck by lightning, you’re probably right.)

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 Chronos Says Wealth, like happiness and fitness, is a habit. You get wealthy by developing habits of wealth. If you’re on your way to wealth, it’s probably those darn habits of yours.

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You add to your net worth a little at a time. Gradually, inexorably, the wealth begins to build. Fortune and Forbes articles on wealthy Americans reveal that the majority got wealthy slowly. The book The Millionaire Next Door confirms that wealthy people developed a habit, early on, of living within their means—and one day found their nest egg had grown to a sizable sum. Wow, what a country! What a way to win back your time—by developing habits of wealth, breaking the cycle of deficit-spending, and amassing a sum that lets you to do what you want in life!

My Brilliant Career

Beyond what’s already been discussed, the pursuit of career growth per se may be one of your priorities. If you’ve invested years in getting to be where you are, and if you like what you do, you may naturally look forward to rising within your industry or profession.

Independent of the monetary rewards, there’s a high level of inner satisfaction among those who are highly learned and well-respected in their chosen fields. For goals you can choose in support of your career-growth priority, try these on for size:

• Read one new book a month by the top authors writing in your field.
• Subscribe to (or start reading in your company library) two important industry publications you don’t currently receive.
• Form a monthly study group (with four to eight colleagues you respect) so that you each encourage each other in learning more about your chosen fields.
• Register to attend a conference this week (or submit a proposal to make a presentation of your own there).
• Return to school to get a graduate degree in your field.
• Undertake original research over the next six months, put your findings into article from, and pursue getting it published in a prominent industry journal.
• Complete the certification process in your industry by December 31, 200X.
• Volunteer for that special task force forming in April.
• Join your professional association, or (if you’re already a member) run for office in it.

As society grows more complex (and, by now, you know it will), it will benefit you to become more of a specialist in your chosen field. Perhaps you could focus on biology—more specifically, marine biology, then marine biology restricted to a certain class of species, then marine biology in certain species restricted to the Hudson Bay. If you’re among a handful of specialists in your niche, then wealth tends to follow.

One caveat: It only pays to specialize if you know your specialty is marketable and has long-term prospects (as some of my friends know from bitter academic experience).

If you’re worried that becoming too specialized will restrict your intellectual diversity, fear not. What often happens is that once you decide on pursuing a highly narrow field and concentration, it actually expands. You begin to see things within your narrow focus that you couldn’t have seen before making the choice.

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 A Stitch in Time The more specialized you become, the more potentially valuable you become to those who need your expertise.

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I Think, Therefore I Am

When Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes was in his 80s (quite aged for his day), he was asked why he was reading the voluminous book, Plutarch’s Lives. He responded, “To improve my mind.” Rumor has it that the pursuit of intellectual growth—independent of career growth—is a worthy priority. Certainly education and intellectual development—for its own sake, and for that of your children—rank at the top of any list of priorities you may devise. In support of this priority, here’s a smorgasbord of possible goals:

• Read one new book every two weeks that is not in your field and not connected to what you do for a living.
• Spend time with your children playing games such as Scrabble to help develop their vocabulary and love of words.
• Enroll in that local community college course you’ve been wanting to take.
• Send away for a books-on-tape catalog so you can listen to the classics rather than having to read them (because you already read way more than you want to).
• Take at least one international trip per year to a destination completely foreign to you so that you can learn firsthand about other cultures.
• Sign up for the lecture series sponsored by the local Chamber of Commerce so you can hear in person from visiting authorities on contemporary issues.
• Drop your subscription to, say, People magazine (sorry, People!) and replace it with, for example, a subscription to Smithsonian magazine.
• Watch at least one program per week on The Learning Channel or PBS.
• Rent a documentary rather than a feature film.
• Read a historical account instead of a mystery.

As more people go online and Internet technology marches forward, it will become progressively easier to enhance intellectual growth. (Wait a minute: People used to say that about television in the ’40s, didn’t they? Uh-oh. . . .) It’s worth a warning: Watch out. You can get hooked on the Internet far worse than you can get hooked on television. You can be sitting at your monitor at 7:00 p.m., look up, and notice it’s 12:30 a.m.

Next time someone tells you to “get real,” consider this reality you’ve already experienced: There are far more worthy and stimulating issues competing for your time and attention than you will ever be able to pursue. It takes strength to stay within the confines of a few pre-identified focus areas—while, of course, occasionally allowing yourself to freewheel all over creation. (You are, after all, only human, aren’t you?)

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 Time Out As with life priorities, you need some parameters before sitting down and simply freewheeling on the Net. Otherwise, rather than winning back your time, you’ll watch it dissipate among an infinite number of seemingly intellectual pursuits.

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The Spirit Within You

This is a vital subject that’s ticklish to handle. I’ve known lots of folks who are sensitive about religion, sometimes taking offense where none was intended. I’m not assuming that your spiritual tradition is the same as mine, nor am I prescribing my own practices.

Spirituality is a wellspring of the quality in life. The time that makes up an enjoyable and worthwhile life is well worth winning back.

Spiritual growth doesn’t mean going to church every Sunday, although it certainly can involve that. Your spiritual growth can occur anywhere at any time. If you choose to seek active spiritual growth as a priority, goals like these can support your choice:

• Take at least one walk per week in a natural setting, and appreciate your surroundings.
• Decide to actually read the holy book for your religion during the next calendar year, or listen to it on cassette.
• Begin to live as if you recognize that every creature on earth is a divine creation. You can start this anytime, and the ending time is never.
• Practice the art of forgiveness by making three calls this week to people against whom you’ve held long-term grudges, and tell each of them that you forgive them. (“Do I have to do this?” Yes, if you’re serious about your well-being.)
• Give thanks each morning or evening for all you have been given in life.
• Decide to regularly attend weekly religious services.
• Donate your time and energy once a month to a food service for the homeless, starting in May.
• Scour your home this week to find everything you can donate to the less fortunate.
• Listen to inspirational music.
• Pray for yourself and for others.

Okay, you already know many possible starting points.

That’s seven possible priority areas we’ve looked at so far—and even they’re not the be-all and end-all. You may have some that don’t fit within these categories at all. That’s fine, as long as you recognize what they are and choose goals that involve specific action steps and timelines in support of your priorities.

Spring into Action

To support the priorities you choose, here are some basic action steps:

• Write down everything that’s important to you or that you want to accomplish in your life. A long list is okay.
• Several days later, re-examine the list. Cross out anything that no longer strikes your fancy. Feel free to add a few things if they come up.
• In another day or so, review your list and see whether any items can be grouped together. Then reword or relabel those choices. At all times, feel free to drop an item if you think it’s iffy.
• Put your list away for yet another day. (I know, this is going to take a week or more!) Then review it again.
• Once more, combine, regroup, or delete things on the list as appears appropriate to you.
• Prepare the final draft of your list, recognizing that in time it may change. For now, these are what you’ve identified as your priorities.

Shrink Your List to Wallet Size

Maybe what this country really needs is a good portable priority list. At any rate, you can have one. If you have several fonts in your printer, print out your list in a reduced point size (or simply hand-print it in miniature) so that it’s small enough to carry in your wallet or purse. Then review your list of priorities at least once a day. With so many other things competing for your time and attention, it’s easy to lose sight of your priorities by 10:00 in the morning. It’s not excessive to read your priority list several times a day.

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 Chronos Says Some of the most accomplished people, who routinely appear to be in great control of their time, review their priority lists all the time.

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