Identifying the Myths

Often, when we feel most stuck in our growth and development in a family business, it is the power of the myths and stories that we tell as a family about our parents, about our families, about our businesses, and about ourselves as successors that keeps us stuck. Identifying and understanding the myths that are most powerful is critical to helping get us unstuck and out of the shadows. The following questions can help you in identifying and understanding the myths at play in your family and business:

• Who are the individuals who are most talked about in your family?
• What are the stories that people tell about them?
• Are these stories supportive of your growth and development, or do they make it more difficult?
• What are the stories that people tell about your family and your business?
• Are these stories supportive of your growth and development, or do they make it more difficult?
• What impact have these stories had on you?
• What impact have these stories had on the family?
• What impact have these stories had on the business?

Self

Getting clear about who you are, what you believe, and what you want for your life will help you communicate more clearly with your family, and increase the likelihood of finding a meaningful path toward a generative leadership role in your family and business. This starts with your mission, vision, and values.

• Mission—What is my reason for being?
  1. What impact do I want to have in the world?
  2. What am I trying to accomplish in my personal and professional lives?
• Values—What are the principles and values that are most important to me that I want to use to guide my behaviors? What are my fundamental beliefs?
  1. What are the five values that are most important to me in my life?
  2. What values most represent who I am?
  3. What do my behaviors say about my values?
  4. What impact do I want to have in the world? On my relationships? On my family business?
• Vision—What do I want my life to look like one, three, or five years from now? In my personal life, my professional life, and my life in the community? How will my values support me in achieving this vision?

1. How do my mission/vision/values relate to that of my spouse/family? Are they aligned? Where do they conflict?
   1. What knowledge or skill sets are critical toward achieving my vision?
   2. Do I have these skill sets, or do I need to develop them?
   3. What will it look like if I achieve this vision? What will success look like? How will I measure it?
2. What is my vision for how I want to show up in the importantrelationships in my life?
3. What is my vision for the role that I want to play in my familybusiness?
   1. Family member (father, mother, sibling, cousin…)
   2. Supportive shareholder
   3. Engaged shareholder
   4. Family leader
   5. Board member
   6. Board chair
   7. Employee
   8. Senior leadership in the company
4. What is my vision for the role that I want to play in mycommunity?
   1. Philanthropic leader
   2. Civic leader
5. What is my vision for what I want to do for work?
   1. What am I good at?
   2. When am I happiest?
   3. What am I passionate about?
   4. Where will my gifts be best utilized? (family business, elsewhere?)
6. What work is aligned with my skills?
7. What type of environment or culture aligns with my values?
8. What type of lifestyle do I want to lead?

Building Internal Credibility

1. Personality assessment tools
   1. DISC
   2. Myers-Briggs
   3. Strength Finders
   4. Big Five
   5. Hogan Assessment
2. 360 instruments
   1. Leadership Versatility index – Kaplan Devries
   2. 360 By Design – Center for Creative Leadership
   3. Voices 360 – Lominger
3. Key questions
   1. Where have I had the most success in my life?
   2. What do others tell me that I am good at?
   3. What skills were necessary to achieve that success?
   4. What activities make me feel the most engaged?
   5. What are my greatest strengths?
   6. What are my greatest weaknesses?
4. Dealing with failure
   1. Where have I failed?
   2. Why did I fail?
   3. What can I learn from this failure?
   4. How will this help/hurt the pursuit of my vision?
5. Being accountable to yourself: Ideal Versus Actual Self
   1. Do I live the values that I have identified?
   2. Do I deliver on what I say I am going to do?
   3. Would others say the same about me?
   4. Where are the gaps?
   5. What actions can I take in order to fill the gaps?
6. Where can I get the following?
   1. Feedback
   2. Advice
   3. Support

Building External Credibility

1. Skills
   1. What knowledge will I need in order to be credible in my leadership role? or to achieve my vision?
   2. What skills will I need in order to be successful in my role? To achieve my vision?
   3. How can I gain this knowledge and these skill sets?
2. Reputation
   1. What reputation do I want to have?
   2. Do my actions and does my performance align with that reputation?
   3. Where are the gaps?
3. Roles
   1. What is my current role (or roles)?
   2. What is great about this role (these roles)?
   3. What would I change?
   4. How do the roles that I currently play in my family business and community align with my mission, vision, and values?
4. Anticipating Change
   1. What are the changes that will occur in my life in the next one, three, or five years?
   2. What are the implications of these changes for achieving my vision?
5. Relationships
   1. What are the most important relationships in my life?
   2. What is the status of those relationships?
   3. What do I want those relationships to look like?