Praise or Encourage

Use simple, but powerful, words of encouragement to prod the participant to continue:

• I'm glad you brought that up.
• Tell me more.
• Okay, let's build on that.
• Good point. Who else has an idea?
• I would like to hear your thoughts about…

Accept or Use Ideas

Clarify, build on, and further develop ideas suggested by another participant:

• To piggyback on your point, Juan,…
• As Salina mentioned earlier,…

Accept Feelings

Use statements that communicate acceptance and clarification of feelings:

• I sense that you are upset by what I just said.
• You seem to feel very strongly about this issue.
• I know it's hard to maintain a positive outlook when you are at risk of being a downsizing casualty.
• I can imagine that you feel…

To Obtain Information or to Clarify

No matter how clear you were in delivering a message, the participants will not all process and understand the information in the same way or at the same time. Some will want and need additional information to help them understand points more clearly or to satisfy their desire for more detail. They may want further assurance that you know what you are talking about.

Something you said earlier may have ignited a spark of curiosity or may provoke an interest in finding out more about a topic. In the latter case, they will ask questions about other resources and will expect you to point them in the right direction. Even if you have provided a bibliography or recommended reading list, some will want you to recommend or identify sources for specific interests and pursuits.

To Impress Others

Every group has one or more people who like to ask questions as an opportunity to be noticed either by peers or someone at a higher level. Being in the spotlight may satisfy some people's ego needs. For others, it affords them the chance to demonstrate qualities such as assertiveness and risk taking or to showcase their knowledge of the subject as a means to career advancement.

To “Get” the Trainer

For various reasons, some participants will not like the trainer or what he or she has to say. They take every opportunity to make the trainer look bad or see him or her squirm for their own amusement. They may see this as a chance to “get even” or undermine a trainer's credibility.

To Help the Trainer

At the other end of the scale are participants who really like the trainer and want to help him or her look good. If they agree with the trainer's position on a particular topic, they will want to help increase the persuasive impact even more.

To Keep from Going Back to Work

Some people may ask questions as a way to prolong the session, thus avoid returning to work, particularly if the session is due to be over near the end of the day. They may reason that the more questions they ask and the more time they can take up, there will not be enough time to get anything accomplished back on the job and so they will be dismissed early.

Set the Ground Rules in the Beginning

At the beginning of the session, tell the participants how questions will be handled: throughout the session; at intervals; or at the end. If you encourage people to ask questions as they think of them, you may need to limit the number of questions or the time spent addressing them in order to stay on schedule. The important thing is to communicate clearly when you will and will not take questions. If you plan to wait until the end of a section to take questions, suggest that they write their questions down so they do not forget them.

Repeat the Question

Sometimes a trainer's answer to a question will be totally off the mark, probably as a result of not taking the time to clarify and confirm what he or she thought the participant actually asked. Sometimes, the person asking the question is not very articulate and may have a difficult time stating the question concisely and succinctly.

Repeat or paraphrase the question before answering it. Repeating the question accomplishes three things:

1. It ensures that the rest of the group has heard the question.
2. It ensures that you have heard the question correctly.
3. It buys a little time to organize your thoughts before answering.

To ensure that the question is the same as intended, paraphrase the question by saying, “If I heard you correctly, your question is… Is that right?” If the question is long, ask if you may reword it; then restate it concisely and check to see that you indeed captured the essence of the question. Do not, however, paraphrase by using any of these phrases:

• What you mean is…
• What you're saying is…
• What you're trying to say is…

These phrases are insulting and condescending. The subtle message is: “You're obviously not articulate in expressing yourself, so let me help you out.”

Use Eye Contact

Look at the person who asked the question while you are paraphrasing to make sure you understood the question. When you deliver your response, direct it to the entire group, not just to the person who asked the question.

Choose Words Carefully

Choose your words carefully and think about the impact they may have on individual participants. Avoid using words like “obviously.” This implies that the person asking the question should already know the answer. Along the same line, phrases such as “You have to understand…” come across as ordering and directing. “You should …” sounds like preaching or moralizing.

Respect the Group

Never belittle or embarrass a participant. This means that sometimes you have to exercise a little patience, particularly when someone asks a question that you have already addressed in the session. Absolutely never say, “As I already mentioned…” Instead, answer the question by carefully rewording your point so that you are not repeating the remark exactly as you said it earlier.

Responding to Individual Concerns

Sometimes a participant will ask a question that is narrowly focused and pertains only to himself or herself. If that happens, give a brief response and then suggest that the two of you talk about it after the session. Use this same strategy with those who ask questions unrelated to the topic. Always indicate your openness and willingness to talk further one-on-one. Above all else, project compassion and concern.

Cover All Parts of the Room

Trainers sometimes have a tendency to look only to the right or to their left, and as a result, entertain questions from only one side of the room. Although unintentional, people on the side being ignored will become anxious and annoyed. Similarly, some trainers will acknowledge participants who are in the front because it's easy to both see and hear them. Make a concerted effort to take questions from all parts of the audience.

Do Not Bluff

Sometimes people may ask questions that you cannot answer. Be honest. Do not be afraid to say, “I don't know.” However, do not leave it at that. Offer to check further and get back to them by phone or email or at a later session or tell them where they can find the additional information themselves.

Things Not to Say

In an effort to be supportive and encouraging, trainers will often respond to a participant by saying, “That's a good question.” The danger here is that you may come across as patronizing or insincere. Also, others who do not receive the same feedback or reinforcement may feel their questions were not as “good.” Instead, comment by saying, “That's an interesting question” or “That's an intriguing question.” Similarly, a response such as “I'm glad you asked that question” may be understood by others to mean that you are not glad that they asked a question.

After you have responded, do not say, “Does that answer your question?” What happens if the participant responds that you did not answer the question? Worse still, the participant may not have had his or her question answered but does not want to embarrass you or him- or herself and just lets it go. By asking whether you answered the question, you give up some control and you suggest a lack of confidence in your answer. A better response would be, “What other questions do you have?” or “Would you like me to go into more detail?”

This is a much more gracious and face-saving approach for both the trainer and the participant. It also gives the participant an opportunity to clarify his or her question or probe a little further, if necessary, so that he or she is satisfied.

Do Not Want to Be There

Sometimes participants just do not want to be there. Often people resent attending a session. Perhaps they feel they are being punished, or they may feel overwhelmed by their workload and do not believe they can afford to take time away from the job.

Do Not Know Why They Are There

Believe it or not, some people walk into a session and have no idea why they were asked to attend. Sometimes, they do not even know what the topic is.

Personal Issues

Session participants are human beings, and human beings have personal lives and problems that sometimes get in the way of learning new things. Some may simply not feel well. Others may be preoccupied with a personal problem.

Attitude Toward Boss or Organization

If a participant has negative feelings about the organization or his or her manager, the individual will bring that negativity into the session. The resentment is transferred to the trainer. Whether you are internal or external, the “boss” or the organization hired you. You are guilty by association and automatically you are viewed as “one of them.” This is further amplified when the participants do not see a real commitment to training on the part of the organization. Participants will often remark, “My boss should be attending this training, too.”

Sessions dealing with change present a particular problem. For many, the session only serves to magnify the change or changes they are experiencing, and in many cases, the participants are not happy about these changes.

Attitude Toward Topic

Not every participant will be happy with the topic, particularly if his or her attendance has been mandated. This is particularly true when presenting controversial topics such as diversity or sexual harassment. Some participants have been quite open and candid about their perception that the topic is “being shoved down their throats.”

Pushed Out of Their Comfort Zones

Particularly in human relations training, participants are challenged to look at themselves, situations, and beliefs in a different way. Managers who have been used to a very traditional and autocratic style of managing may be required to learn new approaches and philosophies that are more democratic and participatory. People who have been used to working on their own as individual contributors may be expected to learn how to work in a team environment. New organizational expectations require employees to learn new skills and assume new roles. For example, a bank customer service representative may be expected to sell banking services. Many people are uncomfortable and unsure of themselves in these new roles, and that insecurity creates a barrier to learning. As a trainer, you not only must help them develop new skills but also to see how they might personally benefit from these new roles and responsibilities.

Literacy Problems

If people have a difficult time reading, they will be resistant to attending a session that requires them to do anything that involves reading, such as case studies, written exercises, and assessment instruments. Trainers must be observant of behavior that suggests a literacy problem and make every effort to work with people so that they succeed.

Language Problems

For those who are not fluent in the language in which the session is being delivered, the experience can be frustrating and unpleasant. Because of their frustration and difficulty in understanding what the trainer is saying, they may act out their frustration by being difficult and uncooperative, either intentionally or unintentionally. As the workplace becomes more diverse, this issue will become an even greater challenge for trainers.

Past Experiences

Some participants may have had unpleasant learning experiences either in school or as adults attending other work-sponsored programs. Often they come to the session expecting it to be much of the same, and they are braced to expect the worst. Sometimes this comes out at the end of a session.

Planning

When designing your training session, consider the various learning styles and perceptual modalities discussed in Chapter 2. Be sure to use interactive techniques and do not be afraid to be creative, even outrageous. Also use a variety of methods and media to appeal to various styles.

Planning also involves having a backup plan for equipment problems, materials that do not arrive, schedule changes, and activities that might not work with your group of participants.

Preparation

The importance of finding out as much as possible about participants through the use of questionnaires and surveys, interviews, and discussions with their managers has already been covered in Chapter 8. It is also a good idea to send something to the participants ahead of time: an interesting, attention-getting flyer, a short article to read, or anything that will pique their interest and prepare them for the session. You might assign readings or other pre-work.

Anticipation

For full-day or half-day sessions, make sure you request (or bring) the accoutrements that help create a professional environment. These include tent cards, pads and pencils, water, quality participant materials, and dishes with wrapped candies. This communicates an important message to the participants: this session is important. A professional touch will help set the tone and make it more difficult for people to act up. For sessions of three hours or more, make sure there are refreshments available during breaks. Not only is this reflective of a professional touch, it shows consideration for the participants.

Communication

It is helpful to set the tone for the session at the beginning by clearly communicating your expectations or “ground rules.” For example, remind participants to turn off (or set on mute) their cell phones. Tell them when you have scheduled breaks and tell them they will be able to make calls at that time. You need to consider your policy regarding participants' use of PDAs and other electronic devices as well as other behaviors such as reading the newspaper, doing other work during the session, and coming back late from breaks.

Sometimes no matter how well you plan, prepare, anticipate, and even communicate up front, you may find yourself faced with a particularly difficult group. Sometimes groups as a whole behave as a single entity. The key to dealing with these situations is to be able to size up your audience and quickly adapt your style accordingly.

If you sense you have a difficult or even hostile group, consider addressing the issue up front. Ask questions such as, “What concerns do you have about today's session?” or “Why do you think the company is offering this program?” This brings issues out on the table so that you can address them. As participants are expressing their issues and feelings, capture the information on flip-chart pages. Remain objective, nonjudgmental, and empathetic. Facilitate a discussion or an activity that forces the group to come up with solutions or recommendations. Do not take responsibility for solving the problem yourself.

If a group is particularly disruptive or, at the other extreme, shuts down completely and will not participate, use the “divide-and-conquer” technique. Break the group into pairs or subgroups and give each a specific assignment. Pose questions similar to the ones in the previous paragraph or have them come up with a list of suggestions related to the topic.

Another effective tool is the “parking lot.” Post a flip-chart page with the words “Parking Lot” at the top. Give participants Post-it Notes and explain that if issues come up throughout the session unrelated to the topic, to jot them on the Post-it Notes and put them in the parking lot. This technique allows the participants to acknowledge their issues and concerns and get them out of the way. Say, “Your point is well taken, although it's not relevant to what we're talking about now. Write it down and put it in the parking lot, and we'll be sure to address it before the end of the session.”

Remember: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Refer to Exhibit 10.1 for tips on preventing dysfunctional behavior.

Keep Your Cool

When faced with the unexpected, the most important thing to remember is to maintain your composure. You must remain calm and in control. Several techniques will help in these situations:

• Lower the pitch of your voice. When we get nervous or upset, the pitch of our voices tends to get higher, particularly with women.
• Breathe deeply. Shallow breathing is a sign of nervousness and will affect the quality of the voice.
• Control your speed. Many people have a tendency to speak faster when they are under stress, so concentrate on maintaining a moderate rate when responding.
• Control your volume. Although you want to project your voice, do not shout. Maintain a reasonable volume level, loud enough to make sure you are heard but not so loud that you sound angry or out of control.
• Attend to nonverbals. Avoid nervous gestures such as fiddling with clothes, jewelry, paper clips, or pointer. Those are a dead giveaway that you are losing control. Also, be careful not to appear in a counterattack mode. If you gesture, keep your palms open and do not point.

Handle Challenges with Grace and Professionalism

Accept the fact that you are not always correct. If someone points out an error, thank the individual. Do not be defensive. Sometimes an individual may challenge you by offering a different opinion or point of view. When that happens, acknowledge the difference of opinion and thank the person for offering a different point of view. Do not, however, get into an argument or a debate.

People automatically ask questions that start with “why.” Quite naturally, you may have a tendency to react defensively. To avoid delivering a defensive-sounding response, reframe the why into a “how” or “what” question when you restate it. For example, if someone poses the following question, “Why did you…?”, reframe it by saying, “If I understand you correctly, you're asking me how I… ” or “As I understand it, you want to know what I…” When responding to these challenging questions, begin with “In my experience…” or present facts or quote experts as appropriate.

More specifically, sometimes a participant (especially one who doesn't want to be there) complains about having to participate in activities and may challenge you by asking, “Why did you waste our time with this activity instead of just telling us the information?” You would reframe the question by saying, “If I understand you correctly, you're asking me how this activity relates to the topic” or “As I understand it, you want to know what my reason is for spending time on this activity.” You would then follow this clarification with an explanation such as, “Based on my experience as well as hundreds of studies on retention of learning, people learn best by doing, not by being told.”

Talkative

The talkative participant has something to say about everything. This person always volunteers to be a group leader, answer questions, or offer suggestions. He or she seems to want to be the center of attention. To deal with the talkative type, you might say something like, “I appreciate your contribution, but let's hear from some other people.” Suggest further discussion at break or lunch by saying, “In order to stay on schedule and on track, let's discuss this further during the break or after the session.”

Clueless

This person seems to have no idea what's going on. He or she totally misunderstands the question or the topic being discussed. As a result, this person's answers or remarks do not even remotely relate to the subject under discussion. For this person, say, “Something I said must have led you off track. What I was trying to say was…”

Rambling

This person goes on and on about nothing. He or she digresses frequently and uses examples and analogies that do not relate to the topic being discussed. This person is different from the “clueless” individual in that the rambler knows what is going on but prefers to follow his or her own agenda. To get this person back on track, try asking, “I don't understand. How does this relate to what we're talking about?” This is a good opportunity to use the “parking lot.”

Belligerent

The belligerent person is openly hostile, challenging and arguing every point. This person questions the trainer's knowledge and credibility and may even accuse the trainer of being “out of touch” with the real world. Do not engage in any verbal sparring. Say to this person, “I understand and appreciate your point of view. What do some of the rest of you think?” By turning to the rest of the group, you get yourself off the hook and give others an opportunity to exert some peer pressure to change this person's behavior. You might also offer to discuss the issue further during break.

Stubborn

This individual refuses to see anyone else's point of view and is particularly difficult to deal with in a group environment. His or her refusal to give in on a point will thwart group decision-making or consensus-seeking activities. Sometimes you can take the direct approach and say, “I appreciate your position [or point of view], but for the sake of the activity [discussion, etc.], I'm going to insist that we move on. I'll be happy to discuss this with you later.”

Silent

Every group has one or more silent types who seem attentive and alert but will not volunteer comments or answer questions. He or she may be naturally shy or uncomfortable speaking up in a group and seems content just to listen.

You might ask yourself, “So what's wrong with that?” The problem is that often these quiet people have some wonderful comments and contributions to make, and if we don't make an effort to involve them, their ideas never surface and the group misses the opportunity to learn from another of its members. The participant himself or herself misses an opportunity to be heard and receive validation. Try prompting the reluctant or shy participant by saying, “[Person's Name], I know you have some experience in this area. It would be helpful if you would share your thoughts with the group.” Another approach is to break the group into pairs or trios. The shy person is much more likely to participate in these smaller groups.

Know-It-All

The know-it-all individual often tries to upstage or overshadow the trainer. Often viewing himself or herself as an authority on every subject, this person assumes a superior role with both the group and the trainer. This person relishes the opportunity to flaunt his or her knowledge, often using big words, quoting facts and figures, and dropping names. Although it may be difficult, do not let your annoyance show. Acknowledge his or her contribution by saying, “That's one point of view. However, there are other ways of looking at it.” Depending on the situation, ask other participants for their opinions or move on.

Class Clown

The class clown is relatively harmless unless you allow him or her to get out of control. This person makes a joke out of everything and goes out of his or her way to get attention, often at the expense of others. Do not give in to this person's attempt to control the situation. Simply say, “We all enjoy a little levity. But right now, let's get serious and concentrate on the topic at hand.”

Negative

This individual complains about the organization, his or her boss, co-workers, you name it. In addition to the negative verbal remarks, he or she displays negative nonverbal behavior such as frowning or assuming a defensive posture. Often this person is a chronic complainer who has nothing positive to contribute. Say something like, “I understand your point. What suggestions do you have to change the situation?” Or you might say, “For the sake of discussion, what might be some arguments for the opposite point of view?”

Indifferent

It is pretty clear to everyone that this person does not want to be there. He or she makes no attempt to participate or contribute. Because he or she has been forced to attend, not only will this person show no interest, but he or she may even resort to engaging in activities separate from the group. Use a tactic similar to the one you might use with the silent type: “I know you have some experience in this area. Please tell us about it.”

Personality Clashes

Some people in a group may not get along. They may engage in verbal battles, either directly or indirectly, often with remarks becoming very personal and hurtful. When a situation like this occurs, it is important to address it early by invoking ground rules or saying, “I suggest that we keep personalities out of the discussion. Let's get back to the topic at hand.”

Side Conversations

Side conversations are a frequent and annoying occurrence. Far too often, two or more members of the group engage in their own conversation while a fellow participant or the trainer is talking. More than one strategy may be needed to bring them back. Sometimes just walking over to the individuals will cause them to stop their conversation. If that does not work, try saying, “[Persons' names], we were just talking about… What are your thoughts?”