STRATEGY

Confronting a peer's dishonest behavior is more problematic than confronting the same behavior in a direct report. When you're in a position of authority over someone, it's part of your job to monitor their behavior. With a peer, you're in the uncomfortable position of being a bystander, torn between getting involved and being accused of meddling or ignoring the transgression and being guilty of aiding and abetting. The best strategy is to outwardly assume that this is all a matter of misperception rather than actual malfeasance. You are warning your peer that their actions could be mistaken for dishonest actions by someone who didn't know them as well as you do. Transparent or not, this gambit should be effective enough to at least put the other person on notice and, it is hoped, prevent future problems.

TACTICS

• Attitude: Your goal is to stop the behavior without actually accusing your co‐worker of dishonesty. That would only lead to anger or denial.
• Preparation: Do your due diligence so it's clear you're not overreacting.
• Timing: Make this approach as soon as you perceive the dishonest behavior. The sooner it is spotted, the less damage will be done.
• Behavior: Have this conversation in private in the other person's work area. Be informal but serious. Sit down to talk but lean forward and speak in a lowered tone of voice.

ADAPTATIONS

This script can be modified to:

• Warn a friend or family member off doing something dishonest.

KEY POINTS

• Stress that you don't question their honesty.
• Describe the problem as one of others' perceptions, not their actions.
• Say you're here to help, not to accuse.
• Note that you're not the only person who might “perceive” things this way.