- Abundance mindset:
- giving and, 152–153
- negotiating from, 102–103
- new challenges in, 101
- openness in, 95
- in personal relationships, 134–135
- Abuse, financial, 136–137
- Accountability partners, 55
- Active management, 100
- Adverse accounts, 82–83, 160
- Advertising, 60
- Advice, offering financial, 148
- Affordable car, 63–65
- Affordable childcare, 117, 118, 123
- Affordable housing, 62–63
- Allianz Insurance, 7
- Allowance policy, 55, 137
- Ally, 98
- Alternative mortgage programs, 83
- American Dream, 61–62
- AnnualCreditReport.com, 21, 160
- Another chance mortgages, 83
- Arguments, with partner, 54–55, 136–138
- Art, as asset, 20
- Assets:
- determining value of, 20
- examples of, 19–20
- in household net worth, 17–19
- selling, to improve net worth, 32–33
- Attitude, during negotiations, 92–93
- Automated bill‐paying, 67–68, 71
- Autonomy, 121, 140–141
- Average household income, 51
- Average wage index, 51
- Babysitters, 115–118, 121
- Balance transfers, 52
- Bank accounts:
- Banks, 61, 79, 110–111
- Baton Rouge, La., 107
- Beliefs:
- capabilities and, 2, 3, 12–13
- in negative money mindset, 5
- Bendix, Trish, 5, 6
- Bills:
- automated bill‐paying, 67–68, 71
- in budgeting process, 44
- checking account for paying, 110
- negotiating to reduce, 92–93
- researching, 69
- Binder, emergency, 113–114, 162
- Black Community, xvi, 19
- Boss mindset, xv, xviii, 1–13
- action steps for creating, 159
- in Covid‐19 pandemic, 11–13
- described, 9–10
- on earning more money, 101–104
- on emergency funds, 107, 109
- emotional labor and, 5–7
- on household net worth, 33–34
- making goals with, 40–41
- for moms, 2–4
- money confidence in, 7–9
- negative money/scarcity mindset vs., 4–5, 10–11
- in relationships with friends and family, 133–136
- statements from, 10–11
- vulnerability in, 131
- Boundary setting, 147–148
- Brokerage accounts, 98, 101
- Budget:
- for buying a home, 57–61
- one‐month emergency fund based on, 107
- Smith family sample, 49–50
- spending categories on, 43–45
- sticking to, 42, 53–55
- three anchors for, 61–67
- Budgeting, 35–55
- action steps for, 159–160
- allocating income to expenses, 46–47
- household net worth and, 33
- improving skill with, 72
- joint family goals, 39–43
- for millennial mothers, 37–38
- one‐month ahead, 67–72
- paying off debt, 50–53
- and sinking funds, 47–48, 50
- for small acts of kindness, 153–154
- by stay‐at‐home moms, 120, 122
- take‐home income, 45–46
- by working moms, 123, 124
- Buffett, Warren, 99–100
- Business owners:
- negotiating for, 88
- net worth for, 28–30
- California, childcare costs in, 122
- Capabilities, beliefs and, 2, 3, 12–13
- Car(s):
- affordable, 63–65
- determining value of, 20
- in money discussion with kids, 145
- negotiating when buying, 93
- net worth and purchase of, 23
- Car fund, 46–47
- Car loans, 50, 63–65, 81
- Car repairs, 110
- Cash, 60, 69, 144
- Cash flow, defined, 60
- Cash flow management, 57–72
- action steps for, 160
- emergency funds and, 110
- improving, 71–72
- one‐month ahead system for, 67–71
- ROADSS system for, 69–71
- three budget anchors for, 61–67
- Cash savings, net worth and, 26
- Catastrophic events, 105–107
- Certified Financial PlannerTM (CFP®), 98, 145–146
- Change:
- embracing, 158
- leading by example to create, 141–142
- Charitable organizations, 154–155
- Charity Navigator, 154, 162
- Cheap, 130, 134
- Checking accounts, 110, 111
- Childcare:
- Childcare vs. career dilemma, 115–125
- factors in, 124–125
- financial analysis for stay‐at‐home moms, 118–122
- net worth is decision making about, 24–28
- outsourcing for working moms, 122–124
- reinvesting in the babysitter, 117–118
- running the numbers in, 162
- Children:
- college savings accounts for, 30, 33, 145–146
- earning of money by, 91, 155
- emergency binder information about, 113
- extracurricular activities of, 123, 162
- financially stable home for, 124–125, 136
- giving by, 155–156
- homeownership and having, 63
- legacy for, 90–92
- money conversations with, 142–146
- relationship with, 142–146
- whole life insurance for, 112
- Christmas gifts, 48, 110, 135–136
- Collections notices, 82–83, 160
- College education:
- conversation with kids about, 145–146
- saving for children's, 30, 33, 112
- student loans, 21, 80, 146
- Communication:
- about money history, 137–139
- about taboo subjects, 90–91, 128–130, 142
- with family and friends about financial goals, 130–131
- money conversations with children, 142–146
- money conversations with partner, 139, 141
- Community college, 146
- Compound interest, 33
- Confidence, 3, 7–9, 130
- Confrontation, 88, 92, 133
- Contentment, 156, 157
- Control, 136–137
- Covid‐19 pandemic, xiv–xv
- boss mindset in, 11–13
- emergency funds and, 106–107, 111
- food budget in, 66
- working from home in, 116
- Credit:
- building, 81–82
- diversity of/credit mix, 78, 80
- monitoring, 74, 75, 82–85
- Credit cards:
- budgeting to pay off, 50–52
- day‐to‐day spending on, 74–75
- deciding to use, 42–43
- with FICO score monitoring, 85
- past spending on, 69
- paying off, 50–52, 79
- secured, 80, 81
- starter, 80, 81
- 30% balance rule for, 79
- Credit history, length of, 78–82
- Credit inquiries, 80, 82
- Credit Karma, 84, 85, 160
- Credit mix, 78, 80
- Creditors, negotiating with, 83, 86
- Credit report, 21, 76–77, 85
- Credit score, 73–86
- benefits of high, 72
- and credit report, 85
- described, 76–77
- events with negative impact on, 82–83
- excellent, 78, 83–84, 86
- homeownership and, 61, 83–84
- improving, 77, 81–82, 85–86, 160
- interest rate and, 81
- meaning of FICO score, 78–80
- monitoring, 82–85
- subprime, 81, 83
- uses of, 75
- Credit Sesame, 84, 85, 160
- Credit utilization, 79, 82, 84
- Cultural norms, emotional labor due to, 5–6
- Dads, see Partner(s)
- DAFs (donor‐advised funds), 154–155, 163
- Data breaches, 84
- Death, protecting family after your, 113–114
- Debit cards, 69, 110
- Debt. See also Paying off debt
- after holidays, 135, 136
- in budgeting process, 44
- credit score and, 75, 81
- emergency funds and, 108–109
- expanding business without incurring, 30
- friends and family members' view of, 130, 148
- high‐interest, 51–53, 108
- and net worth, 18
- Debt Incineration Method, 52
- Debt owed, in FICO score, 78, 79
- Debt‐to‐Income (DTI) ratio, 61
- Decision making:
- as emotional labor, 6–8
- financial, 3–4, 7–8, 39, 42
- financial goals as basis for, 15–17
- De la Cretaz, Britni, 9
- Delegation, 9, 157
- Depreciation, 63, 81
- Depression, 128, 129
- Destination weddings, 131–133
- Detroit, Mich., 58
- Dignity mortgages, 83
- Disappointment, 132–133, 148
- Discomfort, in negotiations, 95–96
- Discounts, 70
- Discouragement, 54
- Disliked tasks, outsourcing, 124
- Diversification, in index fund, 100
- Diversity of credit (credit mix), 78, 80
- Donor‐advised funds (DAFs), 154–155, 163
- Down payment, on house, 61–62
- Downsizing car loan, 64–65
- Dream home, 59–60
- DTI (Debt‐to‐Income) ratio, 61
- Earning more money, 87–104
- action steps for, 161
- boss mindset about, 101–104
- and investing, 96–101
- negotiating to increase income, 94–96
- and negotiating to reduce bills, 92–93
- reasons to pursue wealth, 88–92
- Earning potential, 119
- Economic Policy Institute, 122
- Education Savings Accounts (ESAs), 33, 112, 145, 146
- Emergency binder, 113–114, 162
- Emergency funds, xiv–xv, 104–111
- accessing, 110–111
- action steps for building, 161
- budgeting to increase, 50
- for catastrophic events, 105–107
- and high‐interest debt, 108
- mini‐, 110
- and net worth, 24
- one‐month starter, 107–108
- separate bank accounts for, 109–111
- six‐plus‐month, 108–109, 111
- three‐ to six‐month, 111
- Emergency planning, by stay‐at‐home moms, 119–120
- Emotional labor, 5–7, 9, 38
- Emotions, in negotiations, 93
- Employee, negotiating to earn more as, 95
- Employer‐matched retirement contribution, 97–98
- Employer‐sponsored retirement plans, 97–98, 119
- Empowerment, 10–11, 43
- Entrepreneurs, personal freedom for, 89–90
- Equifax, 76
- Equity, negative, 63, 81
- Established family, net worth for, 28–30
- Excellent credit score, 78, 83–84, 86
- Expenses:
- allocating income to, 46–47
- budget anchors, 61–67
- omitting unnecessary, 69–70
- Experian, 76
- Experian Automotive, 63
- Extracurricular activities, 123, 162
- Extreme generosity, 92
- Facebook, 123, 129, 148
- Facebook Marketplace, 70, 109
- Fair Isaac Corporation (FICO), 76, 80
- Family(‐ies). See also Protecting your family
- childcare providers in, 117
- financial issues in relationships with, 130–136
- lessons about money/finance from, 142, 144
- messages about wealth from, 88, 102
- money as taboo topic in, 90–91
- paycheck‐to‐paycheck, see Paycheck‐to‐paycheck families
- Family events, attending, 131–133
- Fed Up (Hartley), 5
- Fees, investment, 98, 100
- FICO (Fair Isaac Corporation), 76, 80
- FICO 8 Score, 85
- FICO 10 Score, 85
- FICO Auto Score, 85
- FICO score, 72, 73, 76–80, 85
- Fidelity, 101
- Fiduciaries, 98, 161
- Finances, organizing, 110–111, 144
- Financial abuse, 136–137
- Financial advisors, 98
- Financial aid, for college, 146
- Financial decision‐making, 3–4
- in household budget meetings, 39
- joint family goals as basis for, 42
- by stay‐at‐home moms, 118–122, 162
- by women, 7–8
- Financial freedom, 40
- Financial goals:
- budgeting based on, 39–43
- cash flow management to pursue, 67
- decision making based on, 15–17
- and disagreements about money, 139
- household discussions of, 33–34
- and household net worth, 18
- as motivator, 53–54
- for one‐month ahead budgeting, 70
- reaching, 4
- savings accounts for separate, 110, 111
- sinking funds for, 48
- telling family and friends about, 130–131
- Financial infidelity, 137
- Financial issues in relationships, 127–149
- action steps for improving, 162
- conversations about taboo subjects, 128–130
- with friends and family, 130–136
- and influence of network on financial success, 147–148
- with kids, 142–146
- with partner, 136–142
- 501(c)(3) charities, 154–155
- 529 accounts, 33, 112, 145–146
- Flexible jobs, 118
- Flexible spending accounts (FSAs), 98
- Florence, Italy, 87
- Food:
- as budget anchor, 65–67
- dining out with friends, 134–135
- outsourcing preparation of, 123–124
- Fraud protection, 75
- Freedom, 40, 89–90
- Friends, 129, 134–136, 147
- Frugality, 134
- FSAs (flexible spending accounts), 98
- Fun money accounts, 140–141
- Generosity, 144
- being generous to yourself, 156–158
- extreme, 92
- giving with, 152
- at holidays, 136
- infectiousness of, 154
- Gifts, Christmas, 48, 110, 135–136
- Giving, 151–158
- and abundance mindset, 152–153
- action steps for increasing, 162–163
- and being generous to yourself, 156–158
- budgeting for small acts of kindness, 153–154
- to charitable organizations, 154–155
- as lesson for kids, 155–156
- while paying off debt, 155
- Goals, see Financial goals
- Gratitude, 156, 157
- Grocery store, saving money at, 65
- Gross income, 45, 61, 119
- Happiness, luxury car and, 64–65
- Hard credit inquiries, 82
- Hartley, Gemma, 5, 6
- Healthcare, 98, 119
- Health insurance premiums, 45–46
- Health savings accounts (HSAs), 98
- Help, asking for, 123, 124, 129, 130
- High‐interest debt, 51–53, 108
- Holidays, overspending at, 135–136
- Home:
- affordable housing, 62–63
- budget for buying, 57–61
- credit score needed to buy, 83–84
- determining value of, 20
- negotiating when buying, 93
- net worth and value of, 24–25
- renting vs. owning, 61–63
- Household budget meetings, 38–39, 54–55. See also Budgeting
- Household net worth, 15–34
- calculating, 19–21, 159
- defined, 17, 18
- and discussing money goals, 33–34
- example scenarios, 21–33
- for homeowners, 62
- leased cars and, 65
- “How to Get Your Partner to Take on More Emotional Labor” (de la Cretaz), 9
- HSAs (health savings accounts), 98
- Hurricane Katrina, 105–106
- “I Live With a Woman—We're Not Immune to Emotional Labor” (Bendix), 5
- Income. See also Earning more money
- allocation of, to expenses, 46–47
- average household, 51
- in budgeting, 44
- in childcare vs. career dilemma, 26–27
- comparisons of, 94–95
- in Debt Incineration Method, 52
- gross, 45, 61, 119
- and net worth, 23
- take‐home, 27, 45–46, 59, 119
- term life insurance based on, 112
- variable, 46, 59
- Independence, for children, 143–144
- Index, defined, 99
- Index funds, 99–100
- Individual retirement accounts (IRAs), 97, 98, 119
- Infidelity, financial, 137
- Influence, 10, 141–142, 147–148
- Insecurity, 148
- Instagram, 148
- Insurance:
- asking for discounts on, 70
- buying, 111–113, 161
- and net worth, 27
- private mortgage, 62
- Interest:
- compound, 33
- cost of, over loan, 81
- high‐interest debt, 51–53, 108
- Interest rates:
- credit card, 51, 52
- credit score and, 75, 81, 83–84
- Internet service provider, negotiating with, 92–93
- Interruptions, 54
- Intrusive thoughts, 128
- Investing, 96–101
- in index funds, 99–101
- insurance vs., 112
- learning more about, 96–99, 161
- managing spending to afford, 38
- for stay‐at‐home moms, 119
- IRAs, see Individual retirement accounts
- Jewelry, as asset, 20
- Joint accounts, access to, 137
- Joint household net worth, 27–28
- Joint responsibilities, 6
- Joy, 154
- Kelly Blue Book, 20
- Kindness, 151–154, 156–157
- KRC Research, 6
- Labor, emotional, 5–7, 9, 38
- Late payments, 51, 68, 73–74, 77, 82
- Leadership, 4, 9, 43, 141–142
- Leases, car, 65
- Legacy, creating a, 42, 90–92
- Length of credit history, 78–82
- Liabilities, 17–21
- Life insurance, 112
- Loan(s):
- car, 50, 63–65, 81
- cost of interest over term of, 81
- student, 21, 80, 146
- subprime mortgage, 83
- Louisiana, 105–106, 122
- Luxury vehicles, 64–65
- Maintenance costs, home, 62
- Media, messages about wealth from, 88
- Mental health, 52–53, 128–129
- Mental load. See also Peace of mind
- with boss mindset, 133
- budget anchor‐associated, 65
- emergency funds to alleviate, 109
- outsourcing to reduce, 124
- for stay‐at‐home moms, 121
- Michigan, childcare costs in, 122
- Micromanagement, of partner, 139–140
- Millennial moms:
- budgeting by, 37–38
- childcare providers for, 122–123
- emotional labor related to money for, 6–7
- holiday stress for, 135
- Millennials:
- buying a dream home for, 59–60
- holiday debt for, 135
- homeownership regrets of, 62
- Millionaire, defined, 18
- Mindset:
- Mini‐emergency fund, 110
- Mintel, 98
- Missed payments, 77
- Mistakes, making, 158
- Moms, boss mindset for, 2–4. See also specific types, e.g.: Millennial moms
- Money:
- children's use of, 155–156
- connecting work and, 142–143, 145
- conversations with children about, 142–146
- earning more, see Earning more money
- emotional labor related to, 6–7
- influence of, on human history, xvi
- lessons for kids about earning, 91, 155
- as taboo topic, 90–91, 129–130, 142
- Money confidence, 3, 7–9
- Money goals, see Financial goals
- Money history conversations, 137–139
- Money management, 8, 89–90, 120
- Money stories, changing, xvii
- Monthly payments, 60
- Mortgage payments, 59, 61–63
- Mother's helpers, 117–118
- Mutual funds, 98, 99
- National Student Loan Data System (NSLDS), 21
- Needs, prioritizing your own, 157
- Negative equity, 63, 81
- Negative money mindset, see Scarcity mindset
- Negative net worth, 21–24
- Negative view of wealth, 88–89
- Negotiating, 161
- with creditors, 83, 86
- increasing income by, 94–96
- reducing bills by, 92–93
- Net income, see Take‐home income
- Network, for financial success, 147–148
- Net worth, see Household net worth
- New credit, in FICO score, 78, 80
- New Jersey, 122
- New Orleans, La., 106, 107
- NSLDS (National Student Loan Data System), 21
- Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), 128
- One‐month ahead budgeting, 67–71
- One‐month starter emergency fund, 107–108
- $1,000 emergency fund, 107–108
- Openness, about rates, 94–95
- Outsourcing, 122–124, 157, 162
- Overdrafts, 68
- Overspending, 108–109, 135–136
- Partner(s):
- arguments with, 54–55, 136–138
- childcare vs. career discussions with, 120–121
- delegating to, 9
- financial issues in relationships with, 136–142
- influencing, 141–142
- joint financial goals for, 33
- joint household net worth with, 27–28
- productive budget meetings with, 53–55
- with separate bank accounts, see Separate accounts (for partners)
- spending by, 137
- Paycheck‐to‐paycheck families:
- budgeting for, 47
- emergency funds for, 109
- scarcity mindset of, 38
- tracking net worth for, 18
- views of debt by, 148
- Paying off debt:
- budget for, 50–53
- on credit cards, 50–52, 79
- giving while, 155
- and household net worth, 23–24, 32–33
- improving credit score by, 82
- protecting your family by, 108
- Payment history, 78, 79, 84
- Peace of mind. See also Mental load
- budgeting to improve, 55
- giving yourself, 157
- from one‐month ahead budgeting, 71
- Personal freedom, 40, 89–90
- Personal time, for stay‐at‐home moms, 121
- Pinterest, 65
- Planning:
- in budgeting, 46–47
- for investing, 96–97
- in motherhood, 2–3
- net worth as basis for, 17
- use joint family goals for, 41–42
- PMI (private mortgage insurance), 62
- Ponzi schemes, 101
- Positive net worth, 24–28
- Postpartum depression (PPD), 128, 129
- Priorities, reevaluating, 12
- Private mortgage insurance (PMI), 62
- Protecting your family, 105–114
- action steps for, 161–162
- in catastrophic events, 105–107
- emergency binder, 113–114
- emergency funds for, 104–111
- insurance for, 111–113
- for stay‐at‐home moms, 119–120
- Raise, asking for a, 95–96
- Referrals, childcare provider, 123
- Refunds, 67
- Regions Bank, 7
- Reinvesting in the babysitter, 117–118
- Relationships, financial issues in, see Financial issues in relationships
- Relationship therapist, 9
- Renting, homeownership vs., 61–63
- Resentment, 121
- Responsibility, for moms, 2–4
- Restaurants, 66, 134–135
- Retirement saving:
- in employer‐sponsored plans, 97–98, 119
- and net income, 45–46
- and net worth, 23, 26, 27, 29–30, 32, 33
- for stay‐at‐home moms, 119
- Rewards, 24, 54
- ROADSS system, 69–71, 160
- Roth IRA, 97
- Same‐sex couples, 5, 31–33
- Saving(s):
- Savings accounts, 110, 111
- Scarcity (negative money) mindset:
- boss mindset vs., 4–5, 10–11
- combating, 8–9
- credit score as cause of, 74
- in family culture, 91
- impact of, 152–153
- for paycheck‐to‐paycheck families, 38
- self‐sabotage associated with, 102
- statements from, 10–11
- Schwab, 101
- Secured credit cards, 80, 81
- Self‐compassion, 156–157
- Self‐doubt, 116
- Self‐employed people:
- net income for, 45–46
- personal freedom for, 89, 90
- retirement accounts for, 98
- setting of rates by, 94–95, 102
- Self‐reflection, 139, 142, 159, 161
- Self‐worth:
- and conversations about financial goals, 131
- and generosity to yourself, 158
- negotiating to earn more and, 102–103
- net worth vs., 18, 21
- scarcity mindset and, 153
- Selling objects:
- to build emergency fund, 109
- to improve net worth, 32–33
- for one‐month ahead budgeting, 70
- Separate accounts (for partners):
- for fun money, 140–141
- household budget meetings with, 39
- household net worth with, 31–33
- one‐month ahead budgeting with, 67–68
- SEP‐IRA, 98
- Service providers:
- negotiating with, 62–63, 70
- reducing number of, 70
- Servicers, loan, 21
- Shame, 52–53, 129–131, 140
- Side hustles, 71, 96
- Single moms:
- delegation by, 9
- emotional labor for, 5
- household budget meetings for, 38–39, 55
- household net worth example, 21–24
- outsourcing for, 122
- Sinking funds, 47–50
- Six‐plus‐month emergency fund, 24, 108–109, 111
- Small acts of kindness, 151–154
- Small purchases, spending on, 66–67
- Social media, 129
- Social Security Administration, 51
- Soft credit inquiries, 82
- Solo 401k plan, 98
- S&P 500 Index, 99, 100
- S&P 500 Index fund, 100
- Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC), 35–37
- Spending:
- by children, 155
- credit cards for, 74–75
- determining level of, 70
- managing household, 37–38
- overspending, 108–109, 135–136
- by partner, 137
- researching past, 69
- reviewing, to build budget, 43–44
- on small purchases, 66–67
- Spending awareness, 48
- Spending categories, budget, 44–45
- Spousal IRA, 98, 119
- Starter credit cards, 80, 81
- Status quo, maintaining, 102, 103, 136
- Stay‐at‐home moms. See also Childcare vs. career dilemma
- childcare trading by, 121
- emotional labor for, 6
- expectations of, 117, 118
- financial decision‐making by, 118–122, 162
- household net worth for, 26
- spousal IRAs for, 98, 119
- term life insurance for, 112
- Stefani, Gwen, 79
- Stock, defined, 99
- Stock market, 97
- Studentaid.gov, 21
- Student loans, 21, 80, 146
- Subprime credit scores, 81, 83
- Subprime mortgage loans, 83
- Taboo subjects, 90–91, 128–130, 142
- Take‐home income:
- in budgeting, 45–46
- in childcare vs. career dilemma, 27, 119
- mortgage payment as percentage of, 59
- Taxes, 45–46, 101, 154
- Term life insurance, 112
- Tesla Model X, 145
- Three‐ to six‐month emergency fund, 111
- Total Stock Market Index fund, 100
- Trade school, 146
- Traditional IRAs, 97
- TransUnion, 76
- UltraFICOTM score, 77
- Unexpected events:
- emergency funds for, 107–108
- sinking funds for, 47–48, 50
- United States Census Bureau, 51
- Vacations, sinking funds for, 48
- Vanderbilt University, 7
- Vanguard, 101
- VantageScore, 77, 84
- Variable income, 46, 59
- Vulnerability, 162
- in conversations about money, 130–131
- in conversations with partner, 139, 141
- in friendships, 147
- Wealth, 3, 88–92
- for extreme generosity, 92
- homeownership to build, 62
- and leaving a legacy, 90–92
- and money confidence, 7–8
- negative view of, 88–89
- for personal freedom, 89–90
- Wealth gap, xvi
- Wedding dilemma, 131–133
- Whole life insurance, 112
- WIC (Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children), 35–37
- Widows, budget meetings for, 39
- Wills, 113, 162
- Women:
- emotional labor for, 5
- financial decision‐making by, 7–8
- investing by, 98–99
- money confidence of, 3
- raise negotiations for, 96
- scarcity mindset of, 153
- “Women, Money, and Power Study,” 7
- Women and Wealth Survey, 7
- “Women Aren't Nags—We're Just Fed Up” (Hartley), 5
- “Women of Influence,” money confidence for, 8
- Young couple, household net worth example, 24–28
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