CHAPTER 3

Take the Handlebars

The first time I took the handlebars of a motorcycle, my fingers tingled as the adrenaline rushed throughout my body. Whether that was nerves or excitement, I’m not sure. Probably a little of both. What would this be like? Could I do it? Would I like it? Honestly, I wasn’t sure of the answers, but I was eager and determined to find out.

When Raye and I returned from our trip to the Alps, he began telling me I was meant to ride—not just on the back of his bike, but on my own. I protested at first, but eventually I agreed to sign up for the motorcycle safety course. That’s all it took. The class gave me the confidence to go from protester to advocate. I couldn’t wait to get back on a bike—my own bike—and feel the grips of those handlebars.

Once I was licensed, I began the search. I found myself online for several evenings in a row comparing starter bikes. Raye was enthusiastic and helpful as we considered key criteria such as seat height, weight, and handlebar and foot peg positions, not to mention looks. As I narrowed my list to the ones I wanted to test drive, I found myself drawn to three that seemed perfect for me: a Ducati Monster 695, a Moto Guzzi Breva 750, and a Kawasaki Ninja 250. Color preference: red. They’re all sleek, sporty, and fast, and designed for acceleration and maneuverability, just the way I like to ride.

Raye taught me to think about this carefully. You pick a bike for a lot of reasons, but ultimately you pick a bike that suits your riding style. I ended up with the Ninja and it served me well for many years. Today I ride a Honda CBR300R, also sleek, sporty, and fast . . . and red.

So what’s your style? It’s a good question to ask yourself as a rider and as a leader. Whether you’re a called or an accidental leader, your answer reveals a lot about who you are at your core. My preference for a fast and nimble motorcycle is indicative of how I live many other parts of my life, including how I lead. Knowing myself as well as I do, it wouldn’t make sense for me to own a cruiser or a dirt bike; neither would allow me to be who I am and enjoy the type of experience I’m looking for. Likewise, I rarely if ever try to be an authoritative leader or a laissez-faire leader; neither plays to my strengths or allows me to be my best.

Being clear about your leadership style is critical if you are intent on being the most effective leader you can be. One of the worst mistakes leaders make is trying to be something they’re not. It’s tempting to emulate others or try to become what others want us to become. I’ve seen many leaders take on the behaviors of individuals they know in an attempt to be what they think is expected. For example, someone might try to be tough and heartless in a performance-oriented culture, focusing solely on financial performance or other hard metrics with little to no regard for people’s feelings or individual potential. But trying to be something you’re not is a waste of time for yourself and others; more often than not, any positive results are short-lived. When it’s carried to the extremes, you can become a destination leader who is focused on someone else’s destination, not your own.

Embracing both destination leadership and a journey mindset requires a clear sense of who you are and how you want to lead. I have learned from my experiences and from working with many great leaders that the key is to lead authentically, aligning your style with your personal values and purpose, gifts and talents. This self-awareness is something most successful leaders develop over time, and the sooner you begin defining your leadership style the better.

Sorting Through the Styles

Your leadership style is shaped by many things: your natural strengths, your personality, your communication and work styles, your values and beliefs, your competencies in key performance areas, your perspective based on your personal and professional experiences, and so on. In short, your leadership style is a reflection of your approach to guiding and mobilizing the people around you.

Since the early twentieth century, researchers have studied leaders and developed theories about style and its importance on organizational effectiveness. These researchers all label leadership styles and make arguments for how and why various styles should be used.

In 1939, Kurt Lewin was one of the earliest researchers to identify distinct styles of leadership—authoritarian, democratic, and laissez-faire. His work provided the foundation for many studies that followed.

Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard began describing situational leadership theory in 1969. Their view was that a leader’s style should change based on the needs of the moment. They identified four primary styles: telling, selling, participating, and delegating.

Servant leadership, a timeless concept, was woven into modern leadership theory by Robert Greenleaf in 1970 with his essay, “The Servant as Leader.” During the same decade, Bernard M. Bass identified what is often considered the most effective style: transformational leadership, which uses a leader’s ability to inspire and motivate others to action, helping the organization achieve its goals while also helping the members of the group realize their potential. Bass and others also studied the transactional style, which defines the role of the follower as one who simply fulfills tasks and assignments given to them by the leader in exchange for pay.

Daniel Goleman’s “Leadership That Gets Results” was a landmark Harvard Business Review study published in 2000. Goleman and his colleagues studied more than 3,000 executives over three years to identify what leadership behaviors impacted company climate and financial performance. The research team grouped the behaviors into several commonly seen leadership styles including pacesetting, authoritative, affiliative, coaching, coercive, and democratic.

During that same time, another school of thought was brought forward: emotional intelligence, which relies heavily on a leader’s ability to manage his or her own emotions and those of others. Goleman popularized this concept in 1995, and it is still widely used today. You often hear about someone’s EQ—emotional quotient—when describing capacity for leadership.

Also during the 1990s, Ron Heifetz and Marty Linsky introduced the concept of adaptive leadership, which presents an approach for leaders to use when facing complex problems in times of uncertainty and for which there is no clear solution. Leaders must innovate in real time and engage their teams to find new answers that may challenge previously held values and beliefs.

Executive intelligence is a more recent concept and a favorite of mine. Introduced in 2006 by Justin Menkes in a book by the same title, this approach identifies three key areas in which leaders must be effective for success: tasks and the ability to solve problems, people and the ability to manage relationships with others, and a strong self-awareness and an ability to learn from one’s mistakes. I like its balanced approach on tasks, others, and self, and its argument that although most leaders are good at the first two, few master all three. If we can learn to manage ourselves, we can break through to become truly exceptional leaders.

Not only are there lots of theories on leadership style, there also are plenty of assessment tools to help leaders identify and maximize their style. Among the more popular are DiSC, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), Clifton StrengthsFinder, and John Maxwell Leadership Assessment. Another that is lesser known but very effective is TotalSDI. All of these tools are valuable to help you reflect on those things that shape your leadership style.

Does it matter what style(s) a leader has in her repertoire? More than you might think. Surprisingly, although companies have long spent tremendous time and effort on cost-cutting and revenue-driving initiatives, Goleman’s study found leadership style accounted for as much as 30 percent of an organization’s bottom-line profitability. This is compelling evidence that your style matters, and being effective in your style can be a game-changer for your and your team’s success.

Advice on the Grips

When I mentor or coach younger leaders, one of the first things we talk about is defining their style so they can lead authentically as they grow in their role and into future roles. Regardless of their age or their industry or any other factors that I’ve come across, I’ve found some of the advice I’ve gleaned from books, mentors, and experience applies universally.

Find the Authentic You

I remember wondering what kind of leader I wanted to become during my formative leadership years in the mid- to late 1990s. I had three strong mentors in my former agency bosses, but I found my touchstone in John Maxwell, an author who was writing about leadership in a very unique way at that time. Maxwell’s work spoke to me profoundly. He wrote about leadership that was beyond the money, fame, and success. He was a lone voice in a Gordon Gekko era. When most of what I heard was how to win at any cost, Maxwell was spreading the leadership gospel of influence and integrity.

I accumulated many of his books—as he wrote them, I bought them—and I still have them stacked high on my bookshelf. They became my handbooks of sorts for leadership. This was the kind of leader I aspired to be: one who was successful, sure, but one who also could attain the “higher calling of leadership.” I remember reading Developing the Leader within You and setting my sights on becoming a Pinnacle Leader, one whom others willingly choose to follow because of who the person is and what he or she represents: character, values, and stewardship of what the person has been given. This was enough of a challenge as well as a North Star that I kept it in my mind and heart during my earliest leadership experiences.

As you explore your leadership style, you may begin to feel as though you aren’t precisely any one style, but rather a combination of several. Goleman’s study actually showed that the most effective leaders switch between various styles as the situation demands. We all have different strengths that manifest themselves at different times, and we should constantly evolve as a leader.

I tend to prefer a collaborative and motivational style of leadership, but I have on many occasions been quite directive and pacesetting when singularly focused on achieving a goal. These preferences fit with my DiSC profile, which is D/i, also referred to as the inspirational pattern. It is common for destination leaders with a journey mindset to strive for balance between leading for results while maintaining relationships.

You might also conclude that you’re not really like other leaders at all, which can be a little scary. You want to see at least some of yourself in others you know or admire. But I believe that to be the most effective leader you can be, there must be something different about you. Why? There are myriad leaders who look and feel the same. They have chosen to align their beliefs and behaviors with others or with their organizations so much so that they have lost virtually all of their individuality. In this case, who wants to follow them? There must be something compelling that makes people, whether employees, clients, or significant others, pick you.

Being different is attractive and makes you stand out from the crowd. The trick is: you must be you (unless you’re a jerk, and in that case you need more than this book—consider hiring a good executive coach). If you try to be something you’re not, people will recognize it pretty quickly, and there is nothing less desirable than a fake. Which begs the question: What makes you, you?

Answer: know yourself. Be sure others have a clear idea of who you are, too. Although your style(s) can change, certain things at your core never should. I believe the most authentic and effective leadership style can be drawn from a combination of timeless attributes and beliefs including:

•   Your gifts and talents—what you are naturally good at

•   Your values—what you believe is most important, possibly also including your faith

•   Your purpose—why you are here and what you want your life’s work to be about

You have the opportunity to lead at your best when you are clear about these things and can act in a way that authentically and consistently reflects who you are. You can bring that to life in all sorts of ways: in what you say, how you make decisions, and the manner in which you carry yourself around others in both good times and bad.

As I grow, I don’t fundamentally change who I am, my values, or my leadership philosophy in the process. This is who I am. To attempt to become someone drastically different would not be authentic. Embracing who you are as a leader makes the journey far more enjoyable, even if you discover that you are not a fit for every situation.

People Follow People, not Titles

My good friend Wendy Davidson is a role model for many leaders, including myself, because of her ability to lead authentically. She has spent much of her career blazing a trail for other female leaders to follow, mostly by succeeding in the male-dominated food industry.

Learning to lead comfortably in her own skin helped Wendy rise through the ranks during a 16-year career with Tyson Foods, where she eventually served in several senior vice president roles. She went on from Tyson to hold two senior leadership roles at McCormick. She’s been president of Kellogg’s U.S. specialty channels in North America since 2013 and also is a member of the company’s Global Leadership Team.

Wendy learned early in her career that she needed to spend time with people, especially people on the front lines, so they could get to know her, because a relationship built on transparency resulted in respect and trust.

“They need to know the person I am and why I make the decisions I do, not just what the decision is,” she told me one morning when we were talking about leadership styles. “So letting people in was a way of allowing me to learn but also to lead.”

For example, anyone who has ever worked with, for, or around Wendy learns quickly that she values her family. Why? Because she is proactive and intentional about sharing that value.

“I engage the team and their families if I can with my family,” she told me. “Family is a huge part of my life, and I need my team to know that.”

Wendy doesn’t just talk about her family, she listens and learns about the families of the people she works with. She leads by example when it comes to prioritizing family. People see it in her work schedule since her children are younger. Many days she doesn’t get to the office until 8:30 so she can see the children off to school, and she makes time to attend important school events—all without sacrificing the quality of her work.

Be Comfortable Being You

When we first step into leadership roles, we often don’t have a clear idea of what it means to be the boss. We have stereotypes in our minds or we simply emulate what we’ve seen others do. Rarely do we have the confidence to simply be ourselves.

“When you’re in your first leadership role, you just don’t know how to act,” Wendy told me. “So you rely on what you see in other leaders, what you read in books, or, quite honestly, what you saw in movies or on TV.”

You might learn something from those sources, but they won’t provide the precise formula for your success as a leader.

As Wendy points out, “It has to be what works for you and those you lead.”

That requires vulnerability. You have to take the risk of opening yourself up to others, which, ironically, empowers your team. It doesn’t show weakness; it shows your strength.

Wendy recalled how challenging it was to show vulnerability early in her career when she felt her youth and her gender worked against her.

“If I showed any weakness, then I felt it would validate somebody thinking that I got the job simply because I was female or that I wasn’t qualified to be in the role,” she said. “It took several mentors who said things like, ‘Wendy, there’s a reason we put you in this role and it wasn’t because you were female and it wasn’t because you were young, it’s because of what we knew you could do in that role. So do it the way you can uniquely do that, and you’ll be successful.’ ”

Wendy began developing her own leadership style based on who she was, but that’s not a one-and-done process. It’s never-ending. In fact, one of Wendy’s most insightful learning periods came when she took a year off after leaving Tyson Foods. She was a senior vice president at the time, so you might wonder what more she could learn about herself as a leader. But the year away from work—what she called her “forced sabbatical” because of her noncompete clause with Tyson—allowed her to develop fresh insights about herself.

“It was an enormous gift,” she said. “It gave me the chance to really explore who I was as a person, as a leader, as a wife, as a mother, as a friend. During that year, I had to be comfortable with just being Wendy.”

This was driven home for her when she joined two boards and found herself with no title to attach to her name during the introductions at her first meetings.

“I said something like, ‘I’m Wendy Davidson of the Davidsons,’ ” she said. “Everyone laughed to ease the awkwardness I felt, and the whole rest of the day I thought: Is that enough? Is Wendy Davidson enough? They all knew I was no longer employed, but what I didn’t know was why they wanted me on the board. It wasn’t my company or my title. It was just me. It was incredibly empowering. So during that year I really explored what parts of me I wanted to keep and what parts of myself I wanted to refine, and to know that wherever I came out on the other end, Wendy Davidson was enough.”

From this important time of introspection, Wendy moved on to McCormick and then Kellogg, wiser and more certain of the leader she was and wanted to continue becoming as she grew in her career.

Listen, Learn, and Repeat

The best leaders have an accurate picture of their true strengths and how they are perceived by others. Some of this, of course, comes through formal performance reviews and 360 assessments, but much of it comes during the daily course of life when people provide feedback on the fly. They might voluntarily provide it, or you might need to ask (and then probe more deeply into the answers).

Mentors are particularly helpful in this regard, but they don’t have to work in your organization or even in your industry to provide useful insights. Some of the best feedback can come from those who know you well but who might be much more removed from your day-to-day leadership.

Wendy advocates building a personal board of directors, something she learned at a Women’s Foodservice Forum event, and filling it with a diverse group of people. Your board could include someone in a position you aspire to be in, someone in other parts of the industry that are unfamiliar to you, someone in a totally different industry, and someone who can feed your spirit by helping you in your faith journey.

“These are people who know you personally, so they know what makes you tick, and they are also people who will be brutally honest,” Wendy said. “I made a list of people and asked for their help as I continued on my own developmental journey. Everyone I asked said yes and told me they were honored.”

Too many young leaders don’t ask for advice, she said, because they don’t realize, as Wendy puts it, that “asking is a gift you’re giving somebody; you’re saying, ‘You have something that I can learn from and I’d like you to be a part of my moving forward.’ ” Giving a person the gift of asking for his or her help allows that person to give you the gift of helping you grow as a leader.

“To this day,” Wendy said, “I make a point of reaching back to those people and saying thank you for the gift that they gave me in feedback. They are a part of my journey.”

Wendy plays an important role in the journey of many other leaders, too. Not only is she on my personal board of directors, but she mentors countless others and is the 2016 chairman of the Women’s Foodservice Forum board.

Find Your Passion in Your Work

Authentic leadership stems from doing what we love. If you aren’t passionate about your work, it will show. This doesn’t mean you’re passionate about every task and assignment. Maybe you aren’t passionate about filling out an expense report, right? But part of finding your leadership style is finding your passions and how they connect with the work that you do, because the people around you will feed off your passions, regardless of how your personal style expresses them.

When other people see your passion in your leadership style, they are naturally encouraged to find it in their own approach to work, which, of course, makes them happier and more productive.

“I need my team to know what powers me and that they should find what powers them, as well,” Wendy said. “If people aren’t happy in what they are doing, I’d rather they’d be willing to say, ‘This is not filling my cup. Can we find a place where I can channel my passions into something that is useful for the company, and that the company can get the very best of me?’ ”

Wendy recalled two people in particular on a team she led who, in her opinion, could do more than they were doing in their roles. She sat down with them at different times and told them so.

“One, I encouraged to go back to school, and she went on to become a regional sales manager,” she said. “Another went on to lead supply chain and our sales and operations process for a division. She actually set the forecast accuracy standard for our company. Both needed someone to say, ‘I see something in you that maybe you don’t see in yourself and I’m going to invest in that.’ Which, when I look back, is exactly what my mentors did for me. They said, ‘I see something in you. I’m going to challenge you, and I’ve got your back.’ ”

When you are clear about what fuels you as a leader, you can give that gift to others and coach and mentor them to lead in the same manner.

The Balancing Act

Destination leaders are focused on their goals, of course, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love their work. Many of them are passionate about their work and drawn to it—as I can personally attest.

When I was young, one of the people in my life I most wanted to please was my mother. So as I thought about my career options, I naturally sought her opinion.

“What do you want me to be?” I asked her.

Mom’s response was so typical of her.

“Happy,” she said with a smile.

She didn’t care if I made all the money in the world. My mother wanted me to find work that brought me joy and that allowed me to live out my passions. Her freeing response led me, a hard-charging destination leader, toward public relations, a field I felt passionate about, rather than becoming a lawyer or entering another more commonly known and respected profession.

The old adage is true: if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. There is great wisdom in that, and we can role model it for our children, as well as for our employees. Finding passion in what we do is a big part of how we enjoy the ride of our work and of our lives. The trick is finding the balance of loving what we do and spending time on it, while loving other aspects of our lives and spending time on those things, including families, friends, and hobbies.

As you’ll learn later in this book, this didn’t always come easily for me. I know it’s a struggle for other destination leaders. The intersection of “destination and journey” is clearly evident in the struggle to choose how you will lead, particularly in the amount of time you spend focusing on your work. This is part of leadership style—the intensity you have and the importance of work in your overall life says a lot about the type of leader you are.

But balance also comes because we are being true to ourselves and leading authentically. Our style aligns with our gifts and talents, our values, and our purpose.

What’s your style? Do you dare to be yourself, or are you still trying to fit into a mold someone else has cast for you? When you find the courage and the freedom to be who you really are as a leader, you will find those who want to follow you because of your honesty and your transparency. This is the path to becoming a Pinnacle Leader, one who others willingly choose to follow because of who you are and what you represent.

It’s also the way forward to becoming the most effective leader you can be.