Preface

Sometimes the greatest adventure is simply a conversation.

– Amadeus Wolfe

Conversations lie at the heart of how we interact. We are almost always engaged in either internal dialogue or external interaction. But how often are those conversations worth having? We’ve heard from countless numbers of people who long for positive change in their lives, communities, organizations, and the world. They are tired of meaningless interactions and conversations about change that are negative, drag everyone down, and zap energy—and then nothing happens. They are weary of wasting time on conversations that focus on what’s wrong, without producing any actionable results. They are frustrated with the destructive conversations broadcast nationally and globally that fray relationships, pit people against one another, and generate fear and hopelessness. They long for meaningful engagement that builds connection, fuels productivity, and generates positive change.

This book is about those meaningful conversations. It tells how to have conversations that are productive while strengthening relationships and generating possibilities for a future that works for everyone. Conversations worth having energize people. They foster efficiency, fuel meaningful engagement, and generate creative possibilities. They matter because they inspire cooperative action that has a positive impact for individuals, organizations, and communities. We believe that living into our potential begins with these kinds of conversations.

As authors, both of us are longtime practitioners of Appreciative Inquiry (AI), one of the most widely used approaches for fostering positive change in individuals, groups, and organizations. Our journey into AI began in the 1990s when we met David Cooperrider, cofounder of AI. At its core, AI is about discovering the best in people, organizations, and the communities around them. AI is grounded in the notion that we create each moment, and ultimately our social systems, through conversation and shared meaning-making. Appreciative Inquiry is the inspiration of our work as well as the foundation of this book, Conversations Worth Having. In its pages, you will learn two simple AI practices and five powerful principles to make almost any conversation one worth having. Rather than heading down a negative path, we show you how to frame conversations in ways that make people you’re talking with want to engage and take action. We guide you to ask questions that can change the direction of any conversation, inspiring connection, new knowledge, and innovation. Principles we lay out in the book will influence how you think about your own experiences and challenges, helping you reflect on them more constructively and productively.

Each chapter is built around real-life stories drawn from our personal and client relationships that demonstrate practices and principles that were used to transform both conversations and outcomes. These include primarily applications in the business world, as well as several stories from the realms of education, community change, and family dynamics. We also share the research behind this work, because it is truly evidence-based. From our vantage point, one of the most exciting things about life is the power of a single conversation to make a significant, positive difference. We invite you to join us in creating a positive change in your life and work by engaging in conversations worth having.

We are especially grateful to be working with Berrett-Koehler, whose mission is connecting people and ideas to create a world that works for all. We hope that our contribution to their important work will help to influence positive change on the planet. We invite you to be one of many catalysts who are stimulating conversations to support a world that works for all.

Jacqueline (Jackie) Stavros                   Cheri Torres

Brighton, Michigan          Asheville, North Carolina

[email protected]
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P.S. We would be grateful if you would share some of your stories with us.