FOUR

CONFLICT ANALYSIS AND STRATEGY

YOU CAN OFTEN PREDICT that you are likely to be in a conflict with a person or persons about some particular issue or you can sense that a protracted interaction you are having is turning into a conflict situation. Stopping to analyze the resulting situation and then planning a strategy (or multiple strategies) to resolve the conflict is a highly valuable use of your time. The worksheet on the next page describes a ten-step process for preparing to resolve a conflict.

Although a ten-step process seems long, it actually accelerates the full conflict-resolution process by creating a logical, sequential analysis and a logical, yet creative, strategy plan. In addition, the answers you give while considering these steps can provide you with a number of alternative and back-up strategies and actions. (An illustrated example with guided questions appears below.)

WHEN THERE’S NO TIME TO PLAN STRATEGY

Sometimes a conflict will flare up, leaving you with no time to prepare. In such cases, putting off your reactions can give you a moment or two to assess the situation before you attempt to manage it. However, if you can’t delay the interaction to better prepare, there are a few simple techniques you can use to slow the growth of the conflict and to reserve some control over the situation.

One tactic is to ask the other person to better clarify the conflict issue. If he or she has difficulty doing so, go back to the five root causes: differences over facts, methods, goals, values, or some aspect of the interaction approach you and the other person are using. Another technique is to paraphrase your opposition’s position as you see it and ask the opposition to do the same for your position. Do not continue your conversation until each party is satisfied that it understands the opposing point of view. A third tactic is to suggest that you both clarify where you have points of agreement before you look at where you disagree. Starting from a positive stance can set an entirely different tone for the difficult conversation that follows.

Although each of these tactics delays the start of conflict resolution, don’t assume they are meant to stall the inevitable. In addition to creating some time for you to get your thoughts in order, these techniques often produce a conversation that allows both parties to start the discussion closer to the root cause of the conflict.

As with any skill set, the more you exercise your conflict-resolution skills, the more effective you become and the more rapidly you can employ them. Eventually, applying situationally relevant parts of the ten-step process by asking yourself a few questions about the conflict’s root causes, assessing the other person’s interaction approach, and initially analyzing the relevant influence factors becomes second nature when conflict arises. Initial actions come quickly to mind:

IF YOU’RE A THIRD PARTY TO A CONFLICT

When two or more people are caught up in conflict, an impartial third-party might go a long way toward working through the problem. Although this book describes concepts and approaches relevant mostly to someone directly involved in the conflict, the same process can be applied by a third party.

A third party can help the parties in conflict move through all or some part of the ten-step process together so that they can achieve a collaborative resolution. During the process, it’s vital that the third party remain neutral toward the conflict’s issues. Frankly speaking, the third party stands outside of the causes that generate the conflict. The task of a third party is to assist others in their managing of the conflict.