Chapter 15
Lessons from Humble Leaders

What Can We Learn from Humble Leaders?

Whether you’ve determined that you’re a Humble leader or you feel that you need to become a more Humble leader, we’ll help you explore this important dimension of leadership in more detail. As we discussed in Chapter 2, the Humble Dimension is located on the southern side of the 8 Dimensions of Leadership Model, which means that Humble leaders tend to be cautious and reflective. Their modest, internal nature belies a number of very powerful leadership skills. And although individual Humble leaders have many unique traits that set them apart, we’ve found predictable patterns—we know what makes these leaders tick.

Humble leaders want to support the people around them, to ensure accurate results, and more than anything, to provide reliable leadership. Harmony is important to them, both in terms of tasks and relationships. They tend to be diplomatic, soft-spoken leaders, and they don’t often wear their emotions on their sleeves. They’re conscientious about getting things right and are willing to take the extra time to nail down the details. In fact, they can be quite perfectionistic at times. At their core, Humble leaders want to be seen as reliable. They have a penchant for routine and consistency, and they maximize predictability by relying heavily on their past experiences.

There are many benefits to this Humble Dimension. Humble leaders have a steady, consistent way of creating a culture where quality is expected. They also strive to create a stable environment where people know what to expect on a day-to-day basis, and they tend to be good at maintaining their composure, even under stress. Our research suggests that providing a sense of stability is, in fact, the behavior most highly correlated with being respected as a good leader in the organization. Because of these traits, Humble leaders often have long tenures at organizations. Therefore, they’re often seen as dependable, go-to leaders. And, because they aren’t caught up in their own ego needs, they tend to be fair-minded leaders who try to make careful decisions that will benefit everyone.

Strengths of Humble Leaders

They’re often able to head off potential problems with careful planning.

They provide others with the tools necessary to do their work.

They’re able to create a stable environment.

They maintain their composure, even under stress.

They’re conscientious about reaching closure on projects and initiatives.

They model a steady work ethic.

They expect themselves and others to deliver accurate outcomes.

Humble leaders have many admirable leadership qualities to offer to their organizations and to the world. Through years of leader-watching and research, we’ve developed three essential lessons that Humble leaders have to offer. These three lessons highlight Humble leaders’ core desires for security, peacefulness, and fairness. If you consider yourself a Humble leader, we think these lessons will validate the way you currently carry yourself as a leader. If, on the other hand, you need to dial up the Humble Dimension, these three lessons and their complementary suggestions will help you grow as a leader.

Three Essential Lessons from Humble Leaders

People need leaders to stay calm under fire.

You need other people more than you think.

Other people have needs that differ from your own.

In this chapter, we’ll explore these three lessons, dig into the obstacles that not-so-Humble leaders might face, and offer suggestions for how to bring these lessons to life. Not all of the observations here will describe any one leader perfectly, but we think you’ll gain some very useful insights into your fundamental assumptions and thought patterns around being Humble.

Lesson One: People Need Leaders to Stay Calm under Fire

Humble leaders are self-controlled people who are good at staying calm and keeping an even keel, even when things get difficult. Many leaders struggle to maintain their composure when things don’t go according to plan, when people drop the ball, or when bad news is delivered. For leaders, things can seem quite serious in the moment, and it’s easy to let emotions boil over, sometimes over relatively inconsequential problems. Leaders who have a tendency to lose their cool can learn a thing or two from Humble leaders about keeping things in perspective.

Big Suggestion One: Maintain Your Composure by Keeping Things in Perspective

In our research, one Commanding leader told us that she wished she’d known sooner to just take a deep breath and calm down when things get rocky. As she put it, “In retrospect, things are not as serious as they seem in the moment.” This is easier said than done, particularly for the fast-paced leaders who tend to react to situations quickly. Humble leaders aren’t in a hurry to make decisions. They want to ensure that their choices will have the desired effect right now, but also down the road. Because they tend to be more methodical about problem-solving, they don’t pressure themselves to make immediate decisions. They also tend to be fair-minded and modest, so they have an easier time taking their ego out of the equation. They simply work as efficiently as they can to resolve the issues in the best interest of everyone involved.

Is It Worth It?

Most of us lose our tempers from time to time, but what happens when this becomes a regular occurrence? Frankly, people find it unnerving to see leaders in panic mode. People look to leaders for strength and guidance, and if the leader seems out of control, the panic can be contagious. In addition, when a leader takes setbacks or bad news personally, people may put off sharing things with the leader for fear of their reaction. When not-so-Humble leaders consistently fly off the handle or become moody, they may be the last ones to know about problems in the group, and this can be costly. In an ideal world, mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow, but this isn’t the case if people face threatening consequences such as intense emotional backlash.

What are the benefits of maintaining perspective—and your composure—when under fire? There are two that stand out: You’re better able to make sound, well-thought-out decisions, and you’re less likely to alienate other people. Both are extremely important. By keeping things in perspective, you allow yourself to think beyond the here-and-now and consider what you know from past experience, what might happen tomorrow, and where you want to guide the group down the road. You can step back to look at the big picture, to see things from other people’s perspectives, and to play the devil’s advocate. Essentially, you give yourself the space to make better decisions. By maintaining your composure, you not only avoid frightening people, but you model self-control and respect.

Potential Obstacles to Maintaining Your Composure by Keeping Things in Perspective for Not-So-Humble Leaders

• You may be an impatient person.

• You may be extremely emotionally invested in what you do.

• You may be so competitive that you can’t stand the thought of losing.

• You may have exceedingly high standards for yourself and others.

• You may be uncomfortable with chaos.

• You may not really care who’s in your way when you’re trying to resolve problems.

• You may be inclined to see criticism or disagreement as an attack.

Taking Action

We’d like you to consider three ideas when it comes to maintaining your composure by keeping things in perspective: find, test, and recruit. First, find another outlet for your fear and anger. Do not give yourself the luxury of unleashing your unfiltered emotion on bystanders just because you can. We’re not saying that you shouldn’t hold people accountable or share your frustration about disappointments. We’re suggesting that if you have a tendency to lose your composure in a less-than-constructive way, it may help to filter those feelings through another outlet first. Your outlet can be unique to you—explore different methods such as talking things out with a trusted colleague, getting some fresh air, meditating, or even doing something more physical like getting in a quick workout or yoga practice. Next, test your assumptions about the crisis in the grand scheme of things. What aspects of the situation can you control? What aspects are outside of your control entirely? How can you break down the problem into manageable pieces? What should be done first? What’s really going to matter next week? Next year? Once you’ve removed some of the emotional intensity, it should be a lot easier to take stock of the real issues. Finally, recruit any help you need to get back on track. Don’t be a martyr or try to save the day. It’s not about blame or credit—it’s about doing right by the organization. Use your leadership skills to tackle the problem as a team.

Lesson Two: You Need Other People More Than You Think

Part of a leader’s job is to empower people—all people—and Humble leaders are great at showing modesty and making people count. Leaders who are low on the Humble Dimension may pour too much of their empowerment energy into giving inspirational speeches and promoting their own vision. Their communication is often a one-way street, and after they’ve delivered their message, they’re not always there to offer support to people. Eventually, people start to feel that the not-so-Humble leaders they work with aren’t really interested in listening to them. If leaders don’t show a certain degree of modesty, they can lose followers along the way. And not only do leaders need their followers to help execute their visions, but the followers often have valuable opinions to share. Humble leaders are good at taking the time to listen to the people around them—even those in lower-level positions.

Big Suggestion Two: Take the Time to Listen to the Less Powerful People around You

Leaders who are low on the Humble Dimension often don’t take the time to hear what’s being said at all levels of the organization. This may be true for a variety of reasons—lack of interest, egotism, lack of time, or a tendency to be private or detached. Whatever the reason, not taking the time to listen sends the same basic message: a lack of respect or consideration for the very people who are needed to carry out the vision. If you’re a little lower than you’d like to be on the Humble Dimension, we encourage you to dig deep and reflect on this recommendation to be more attentive to those who are less powerful in your organization.

Is It Worth It?

Let’s explore the benefits of taking the time to listen more often. This simple action does many things to improve your leadership effectiveness. First and foremost, it empowers people. This helps you build alignment, creates a greater sense of autonomy for others, and shows your more vulnerable side. People will almost always be grateful that you spent time listening to them, and it’s a simple way to make them feel important. If you’re low on the Humble Dimension, chances are good that you can relate to wanting to feel important. So think about the benefits you could provide to others by making them feel like a vital part of the organization. While it may seem contradictory, building up other people can actually increase your own personal power.

Not only does taking the time to listen make people feel good, but it keeps you in touch with the inner workings of your organization. You can pick up crucial information that you’re simply going to miss if you spend all of your time managing up, crunching numbers, or working with external clients. When you show others that you value their opinions and experiences, they feel more comfortable coming to you with problems and suggestions. As a leader, you don’t want to be in a position where you’re the last to hear that trouble is brewing. Humble leaders tend to be self-controlled and steady, and people at all levels of the organization often feel that they’re fair-minded when it comes to listening to people’s concerns.

Potential Obstacles to Listening to Less Powerful People for Not-So-Humble Leaders

• You may be outgoing and have a tendency to want to speak rather than listen.

• You may question the competency of people who aren’t assertive with their opinions.

• You may have trouble letting go of your own vision to see value in other people’s ideas.

• Your radar may be more attuned to the “important” people around you.

• It may be difficult for you to see beyond someone’s lack of personal power to recognize their good ideas.

• It may be taxing for you to spend the time and emotional energy needed to listen to and empathize with people.

Taking Action

Focus on three ideas when it comes to taking the time to listen to the less powerful people around you: reflect, create, and listen. First, reflect on what you have to gain by truly listening to people at all levels of your organization. Sure, we’ve listed some benefits here, but what about for you personally? What might you learn? How might listening help you reach your goals? Next, create the time and space that you’ll need to give this the attention it deserves. Maybe you can fit it in here and there, in casual bits and pieces. Or, maybe you’ll need to create more structure for yourself to ensure that you do this. For example, you could schedule monthly, quarterly, or yearly meetings, or even meals, with certain groups of people. Do whatever it takes to create a plan that will help you hold yourself accountable. Finally, listen! That’s right—spend a lot more time listening than talking. Sure, it can be helpful to ask specific questions, but make sure to give people the time to respond before jumping in to help them along. If you make a concerted effort to talk less, you may just realize how much you’ve been monopolizing conversations. Show people that you appreciate their perspectives. It will go a long way toward making them feel empowered.

Lesson Three: Other People Have Needs That Differ from Your Own

Humble leaders recognize that other people have needs that differ from their own, and the rest of us can learn something from these fair-minded leaders. Many leaders are great at showing passion and exploring new territory but fail to address the internal needs of the group. They spend a lot of energy convincing others to get on board with their visions, but they may not take the time to understand the needs of their people. When leaders who are low on the Humble Dimension are busy pursuing their own goals, other people may feel like they’re simply being dragged along for the ride. The danger of this egocentric point of view is that by expecting people to adapt to your vision, you may lose touch with the evolving needs of the group.

Big Suggestion Three: Make the Needs of Your Group a Priority

Sure, leaders can often get by with the luxury of having people cater to their needs. But in the long run, gaining alignment and getting the best from people requires you to pay attention to everyone’s needs—especially those of the people below you. In some ways, this may feel like a burden, and it might be a relief to drop this responsibility and simply focus on your own needs and goals. Isn’t that one of the perks of being on top? Perhaps, but that’s not leadership. Not everyone shares your worldview, and to create a culture that works for everyone, you’ll need to pay more attention to other people’s needs.

Is It Worth It?

When you operate as an individual—if that’s ever entirely possible—you can explore the world unencumbered. As a leader, you can’t do this. You have to bring other people along on your journey. In fact, it’s no longer “your” journey, and in some respects, this will slow you down. You can choose to look at this as baggage, or you can see this as an opportunity to take on a whole new role. The transition from individual contributor to leader is a little bit like becoming a parent. You give up some of your freedom as you gain responsibility. The same is true of leadership, and followers have many needs, many of which may seem a little foreign to you.

For example, many of your followers may have a high need for security, and this means that rapid change will be difficult—if not downright disconcerting—for them. Depending on your leadership style, this may be a little tough for you to understand. Many leaders enjoy the variety that change provides, particularly those leaders whose styles fall on the northern side of the model. However, many good, valuable people care more about security than adventure. Likewise, many people have different information needs than you do. Many leaders who focus less on the Humble Dimension fail to provide a comprehensive picture of the state of affairs. Rather, news tends to trickle down to people slowly, and this can leave people feeling in the dark and insecure. Another example is that some people have different quality standards than you. Perhaps you take a fast-paced approach that doesn’t always allow more conscientious people the time to achieve the quality results they need to feel good about their work and themselves. These are just a few examples of the kinds of needs that people on your team may have, and it’s absolutely worth your time to make these needs a priority.

Potential Obstacles to Making the Needs of Your Group a Priority for Not-So-Humble Leaders

• You may assume that what’s good for you must be good for other people.

• You may assume that when other people nod their heads, they must be entirely on board.

• You may naturally focus on convincing others to see your point of view.

• You may not see the value in seeking input from people who don’t have as much power as you.

• You may not feel like you have the time to focus on meeting people’s needs.

• You may be more autonomous than collaborative.

Taking Action

We’d like you to consider three ideas when it comes to making the needs of your group a priority: appreciate, balance, and check. First, learn to appreciate the styles that differ from your own, then try to anticipate the needs and limitations that might come with them. Use the 8 Dimensions of Leadership Model as a starting point. For example, consider the needs of people whose approaches sit opposite yours on the model. People may require more or less structure than you do. Next, balance the needs of your group or organization. Be fair-minded about how you prepare people for upcoming changes. When planning your communication, design it to meet the needs of everyone in the group, keeping in mind that some are often more informed than others. What information might people be missing? How do your plans tie into the big picture? What obstacles might people face? Finally, check the emotional pulse of the people you lead on a regular basis. Are they anxious, exhausted, confused, or checked out? Don’t assume that people will bring problems to you. From time to time, directly ask people what they need to be more effective in their roles. Taking the time to do this may be difficult, but your group is likely to be more engaged and productive if they see you as a fair, considerate leader.

Conclusion

Whatever your primary leadership dimension, we think it’s valuable to adopt some of the Humble leader’s modest, careful, self-controlled, and soft-spoken ways, even if ever so slightly. Specifically, to be more Humble:

Maintain your composure by keeping things in perspective,

Take the time to listen to the less powerful people around you, and

Make the needs of your group a priority.

Case Study: Maintain Your Composure by Keeping Things in Perspective and Take the Time to Listen to the Less Powerful People Around You

We talked to Steve, a marketing consultant and former VP at several consumer goods companies, about the most valuable leadership lessons he has learned. “Really be conscious that the minute you feel stressed, your worst attributes will show,” he said. “Hey, you know it’s going to happen, and that’s when I’ve found that I’m least able to control my natural impulses, is when I’m under stress.” When situations became stressful, Steve often overlooked the ideas and needs of others and just did whatever it took to get results. Today, he has more perspective on the importance of humility—especially when under pressure. When he worked for a large resort company early in his career, he had a great mentor who embodied the Humble Dimension. “I had a boss that really got it,” he said. “It was interesting because in many ways, he was probably wired like me.” Steve is a Pioneering leader, and he thought his boss was extremely sharp. “His favorite thing to do was to get up at five in the morning and go into the break room with the maids and the janitors at the resort,” he said. “He would sit and have coffee and donuts with them and just talk about their family and their life. He loved it. He didn’t do it because he was going through the motions.” While Steve’s boss really enjoyed this social time with his workers, he was also able to hear exactly what was and wasn’t working at the resort, and this information helped him to do his job better. By valuing his workers as people, he not only made them feel good, but he was able to make better decisions. Steve’s boss encouraged him to do the same with the people he managed. Steve found that it was sometimes difficult, but he definitely saw the value in taking the time to listen to the less powerful around him.