EPILOGUE

DOING DRAG ON A TED STAGE

I’ve wanted to do a TED talk since the time that I (Jackie) became aware of what the organization was over twenty years ago. If you aren’t familiar with them, TED events are a global set of conferences organized around the slogan “Ideas Worth Spreading.” Speakers at these events are celebrated experts in their field, and past speakers at the exclusive main TED conference have included President Bill Clinton, Jane Goodall, Richard Dawkins, Bill Gates, Bono, and many Nobel Prize winners. TEDx events are independent TED-like events run by volunteer organizers in cities around the world, such as TEDxLosAngeles or TEDxLondon. Whether TED or TEDx, these are prestigious events, and being chosen to speak at one is quite an honor.

A few years ago, I had applied to a TEDx event for a city I don’t want to name because I am about to throw some major shade at them. I filled out their extremely long and detailed application, explaining my idea for a talk on how to create confidence by thinking like a drag queen. I detailed my expertise, including my fourteen years of public speaking experience. I was even required to record a sixty-second video to outline the idea of how I hoped to inspire the audience with it. I felt my idea was unique, my experience was top-notch, and my video was well produced. To say I felt confident that I would be picked would be an understatement.

You can imagine my shock when I was rejected. I arranged a telephone call with one of the organizers of the event to help me understand why I hadn’t made the cut. He told me that my idea was great, my years of speaking experience were unparalleled in comparison to the other applicants, and my video was on point. However, a drag queen (a man) had applied and was going to do a performance piece with his talk. The selection committee didn’t want to have two talks on the subject of drag, so they went with a male drag queen because they were intrigued by his talk idea, and plus, I was told, “You’re just a hobbyist, right? You’re not a real drag queen.” Oh, bitch! What did you just call me? Not. A. Real. Drag. Queen?! As we learned in Key Four with the female drag queens from London, women doing drag goes against the perception of what most people think drag queens are. Apparently that was the sentiment of this TEDx selection committee.

Pissed off but undeterred, I took my talk idea and immediately applied to another TEDx event. I had all the information I had used for the last application, including the video. Applying online for this event was a breeze. Surely this group of people would get what I was trying to do. I was excited anew! And yet I was rejected again. I didn’t bother to ask for a phone conversation with someone from the selection committee to explain the rejection, because at this point it just didn’t matter. I felt dejected and defeated. My TED talk aspirations were dashed.

To my complete surprise, a year later one of the organizers of TEDxVancouver e-mailed me about a speaking opportunity. The selection committee had heard about me from one of my speaking clients and was inquiring if I would be interested in delivering a talk related to my customer loyalty book on Lady Gaga. This was my big chance! When I spoke to the contact on the phone, I asked what the theme of the conference was, and she said “Identity.” Could this be any more perfect? She was open to hearing about other topics related to this that I might speak on, and I pitched the idea of creating a fierce persona like drag queens do that you can channel when you need confidence. She loved it! I had found my people, my tribe! They got me. She explained that this TEDx event was expected to be one of the biggest in the world, with over thirty-five hundred people in Vancouver’s Rogers Arena where the National Hockey League Canucks play. Wow!

This was a big stage to fill. I felt like I couldn’t stand up there talking for twelve minutes about how I became a female drag queen without actually doing some drag! So I concocted this crazy idea to do a short one-minute drag routine at the end of my twelve-minute talk. This would involve doing the entire talk in normal everyday drag with a real drag costume underneath, because I wanted to demonstrate visually that I always have my fierce drag persona inside me. I would have to wear a wig that looked like my real hair on top of a long straight red wig curled up underneath. I would wear a professional-looking navy pin-stripe suit that would tear away to reveal a long-sleeve silver-and-black shimmering sequin catsuit. Near the end of the talk, I would peel off what (hopefully) looked like my real hair to reveal the red wig. Then four hot male backup dancers would run in and pull off the business suit, which would tear away into four pieces.

Perfecting a memorized twelve-minute talk on a topic that I’d never presented before, in front of thirty-five hundred people (and soon on YouTube forever) was daunting enough. Adding the complexity of a drag routine was just insane. In order to pull this off, I would have to fly six people (a choreographer, four dancers, and a makeup/costume stylist, aka my drag mother, Kelly) to Vancouver. I decided to bring the choreographer so that he could make any changes to the routine if we needed to once we practiced on the actual stage. Plus, what if something happened to one of my dancers? This was too important an opportunity to have something go wrong and lose a dancer, which would compromise the performance. The choreographer could fill the dancer’s spot if needed. I began to think this was going to be the most expensive talk in TED history!

I had exactly three months to make all of this happen. First I had to craft the talk itself. Creating a twelve-minute talk is infinitely harder than my normal keynotes, which are usually forty-five minutes to an hour long. It’s hard to get all of your points across in such a short time. I worked via Skype with my longtime speaking coach Victoria Labalme, who’s located in New York City, to put the outline of the talk together. Then I spent hours and hours fine-tuning the talk with Austin-based speaking coach Barbara Miller in one-on-one sessions and practice runs in front of small live audiences. I had at least four feedback sessions with the TEDxVancouver folks, who made changes to my outline and talk. But making the drag routine happen was a whole other beast.

There were times during these three months when I was just exhilarated! My creative juices were flowing. I was practicing my dance routine with world-class dancers. The costume reveal was killer. My crazy idea was coming to life. But that didn’t stop my inner critic Felicia from making me doubt my ability to do this. Felicia would say things like, “This is the dumbest idea in TED history. TED is for serious issues like how schools kill creativity, racial injustice in America, and why domestic violence victims don’t leave their abusers. And you’re talking about drag queens?” Felicia would also ruminate on worst-case scenarios of what could happen: “What if the costume reveal doesn’t work? What if you forget the choreography, or worse, your talking points? What if you freeze up, like you did at the Austin International Drag Festival?” Yikes! I knew that the risks I had taken before had paid off. I was committed to the idea of helping people know that you can channel power by thinking like a drag queen, and of being the first person to present it in this prestigious venue. I was determined to make this happen! So I told Miss Felicia to sashay away and not to let the door hit her on the way out.

I won’t take you through all the trials and tribulations (there were a lot of them) of finally getting the whole thing together and making it to Vancouver. I just know that before walking out on that stage, I was the most nervous I have ever been in my entire life. Yes, even more than at the dang Austin International Drag Festival. When it was my turn, I made it out onto the stage. I could barely make out any of the faces in the audience in the dark arena with the bright spotlights in my face. I began to speak and . . . eek! All of the moisture in my mouth instantly evaporated. I was making that dry-mouth clicking sound when I spoke. What the hell? I couldn’t believe it. This was my moment. I had prepared—strike that—I had overprepared for any problem that might arise. But I hadn’t expected this to happen. It had never happened in all my fourteen years of speaking. I just had to muddle through. But luckily that was really the only thing that went awry. I nailed most of my speaking points. The audience let out a collective loud gasp followed by thunderous applause when the costume reveal happened. The dancers performed perfectly. I’ll let you watch the video to see what you think of how I did. (Go to EntertheQueendom.com/videos to see the talk.) But the tweet from the TEDx-Vancouver Twitter account after my talk made it all worthwhile. It said simply: “@jackiehuba / @LadyTrinity just blew our minds!”¹

This adventure into the world of drag has changed my life. Besides the most important benefit of being transformed into the fiercest version of myself, it has led me to a life goal that I wasn’t sure I would ever achieve: doing a TED talk. Over the course of a few years, I went from performing in front of a few folks in my burlesque class to performing in front of thirty-five hundred people at a TED event (plus countless people watching the YouTube video). I pushed myself to try new things outside my comfort zone and work through my fears. Had I talked myself out of this crazy idea of becoming a female drag queen, none of this would have happened. I believe this is a true life lesson of how taking risks, and working through fears, can lead you to the things you want to achieve in life. Now I’m excited to use my story and the lessons I’ve learned to help people become fiercely themselves.

And what is the future for Lady Trinity? Well, she will continue to inspire me to take chances and be bold, whether I perform as her or not. She will always be a part of me. But you can be sure that if the occasion presents itself, she will turn the party in her supermodel hair, sequined catsuit, and stiletto boots. Werk!