CHAPTER 6

Your Role in the Team

Entire books have been written (and will continue to be written) on this topic; our goal is to highlight the importance of group dynamics, but doing so within the framework of creating high-functioning teams. As leaders work to create the conditions for their teams to function at a higher level, they must have the knowledge and skills to help the team navigate the complexity of group dynamics. But before the leader can take on this role, she or he must first know themselves and how they, at an individual level, impact the team. How do the leader’s own preferences and biases influence the team? To what degree is the leader aware of their own values and belief systems and, more importantly, how these values and belief systems “show up,” especially in high stress and high stakes situations? It is only after individual leaders have delved into these topics at a deeply personal level can they then take the next step of coaching and influencing their teams.

A department chair wished to improve the dynamics of his leadership team. The team was comprised of both physician and administrative leaders, and the group was struggling. Bickering and complaining were common occurrences, both during meetings and outside of meetings during the normal course of work. This type of behavior had become the norm, and the chair wanted to see better communication and more effective teamwork among colleagues. He asked an internal consultant for assistance in this endeavor.

The consultant met with the chair and each member of the team individually, and also observed several team meetings. At the conclusion of this interview and observation period, the consultant sat down with the chair to share her findings and to suggest a course of action. During the course of her interviews she found (as she suspected) that there were many differences of opinion and conflicting ideas on how to approach and solve problems, but she also discovered that the team was frustrated with the chair. They found him to be fairly quiet and unwilling to call people out on their bad behavior when it occurred. Furthermore, they felt the department was lacking direction. They wanted to know what they should be focusing on and how to get there. In short, they wanted stronger leadership.

The observation of the team meetings also bore this out. The consultant witnessed the chair sidestepping issues and cutting people off. To the consultant, he seemed unsure about how to handle the strong personalities on the team, and how to guide the group in working through their differences. When she brought this up in her meeting with him, he became uncomfortable. She suggested some strategies that were first aimed at enhancing his self-awareness of his own behaviors, before trying to work on fixing the team (in consultant speak this is known as “work on me first”). The chair was reluctant to follow this approach, and instead laid the blame at the feet of the team—“If they would just learn to get along and play nice, all of this would work out and everyone could get on with the work at hand.” He told the consultant he would think about it, but never called her back.

Unfortunately, this is too often the situation. The leader fails to recognize their own contribution to the dynamics of the group and to commit to focusing on this first. As Chuck Pratt, an executive coach and consultant and close colleague, is fond of saying: “All relationships are co-created”; therefore, it is incumbent upon the leader to model strong self-awareness and to be willing to further their learning in this capacity if they hope for the team to change its behavior. There are several things leaders can do to strengthen their knowledge, awareness, and skills in this area.

Understanding Personality Style and Preferences

All of us have lenses through which we see and experience the world. The problem is many of us can be unconscious of these views. Additionally, we all have preferences (which manifest in behaviors) that shape how we interact with the world around us. There are a multitude of models and tools available to help leaders gain clarity about their preferences and worldview: DISC, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), Merrill’s Personal Styles Inventory, and so on. Our intent is not to recommend one model over the other, but rather to encourage leaders to use a model to help them be clear about their preferences and how they shape their behavior. The key is in the learning, which goes back to our discussion in Chapter 2 about adopting a learning orientation (as opposed to just being focused on the goal or outcome).

For example, a leader may learn through the use of the MBTI that they have a preference for extroversion and can tend to insert their ideas into the group process before giving others an opportunity to speak up. Or perhaps a leader learns that they favor an analytic style (Merrill’s Personal Styles) and is drawn to data and can tend to approach issues or challenges from a place of logic and can appear to others (unintentionally) as cold and calculating. If a leader is unaware of these tendencies, then how will it be possible to make different choices? So again, as a leader, choose at least one of the models available to help you learn about (or gain further clarity about) your own style and preferences. Not only does this assist with enhancing self-awareness, but it also helps create a common language for you to use with your team.

A clinic administrator and a medical director had been working together for about six months and they were experiencing some challenges in their working relationship. They had originally been very excited about their leadership collaboration but, as time had moved on, some frustrations had emerged for both of them. For example, the administrator became concerned that in certain meetings the medical director would suddenly jump into a situation and make a decision, when the administrator thought they had an agreement to consult each other first. The medical director felt that there were times when the administrator was questioning her ability to be a leader and, when this feeling arose, she would tend to take a stronger position on certain topics.

After meeting with the two leaders, it was clear that they both held each other in good regard, but they wanted some assistance working through these difficulties. The MBTI was administered and they learned that their type preferences were 180 degrees opposite—one had the preferences of ESTJ (extraversion-sensing-thinking-judging) and the other had INFP (introversion-intuition-feeling-perceiving) preferences. Once they were able to establish a common language using type, and better understand how their preferences showed up at work (especially during times of stress), their interactions improved (which also benefited their team).

This example provides a quick illustration of how understanding one’s own preferences and style can improve self-awareness, understanding and appreciation of the other person, and positively impact results (i.e., team meetings).

Questions leaders should ask themselves when assessing their own personality style and preferences:

Leveraging Emotional Intelligence

In this day and age, the leader who has not heard of emotional intelligence (EI) is rare. The number of leaders who understand the nuances of EI and actively engage in efforts to enhance/improve their own emotional intelligence may be much smaller. Since Daniel Goleman popularized EI with his book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (Goleman 1995), dozens of leadership books and articles have been published with strategies on how to strengthen EI. Additionally, several assessment tools are now available that allow leaders to evaluate their emotional intelligence (these include self- as well as multi-rater assessments). From our perspective, the three assessment tools that have the best psychometric properties include: the BarOn Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i) (now in version 2.0), the MSCEIT, and the Emotional Social Competency Inventory (ESCI) from the Hay Group.

While each model has its strengths, we will focus on four elements that we believe have the broadest impact: emotional self-awareness, interpersonal relationships (awareness of others), impulse control, and optimism.

Emotional Self-Awareness

How aware are you of your own reaction when you experience disappointment? Are you aware of your trigger points, your so-called emotional hot buttons? And when those hot buttons are pushed, how do you react? And why do you believe you act that way when that trigger is pushed? These questions are all extremely relevant, certainly for all of us, but especially for leaders.

Emotional self-awareness is considered a foundational component of any leadership development program and it is incumbent upon all leaders to spend the necessary time considering their answers to these questions, and others like them. People often talk about the need to manage our emotions, but if we can’t first identify our emotions when they occur, then managing them becomes an effort in futility.

Consider the following example: while going through an activity that posed questions very similar to those noted above, a nurse spoke of her frustration when a colleague wouldn’t show up on time. She knew it was a hot button of hers, but she wasn’t able to explain why it was a hot button. She bravely asked the rest of the participants to give her some insight and feedback on this. After asking some clarifying questions, it became clear that the nurse held a very strong personal value around being punctual, and if others didn’t adhere to it, she would get angry. While reading this example here makes perfect sense to the rest of us, she literally was unable, in the moment, to connect her emotional response back to the deeply held value.

Steven Stein and Howard Book define emotional self-awareness as “the ability to recognize your feelings, differentiate between them, know why you are feeling these feelings, and recognize the impact your feelings have on others around you” (Stein and Book 2010). It is not uncommon for just the act of identifying our feelings to present challenges. Richard Davidson refers to this as being “Self-Opaque” (Begley and Davidson 2012). He states that people who have challenges of this nature are not necessarily denying their emotions, but rather they truly are not aware of the emotional indicators their body and brain are sending to them. Davidson’s work focuses on understanding the connections between our brain—our neural pathways—and our emotions. For example, one’s ability to easily detect their own heartbeat (or other physiological signals) is associated with higher degrees of emotional self-awareness.

Oftentimes, emotional self-awareness is associated just with recognizing and understanding your own emotional state. As noted earlier in the example with the nurse in the workshop, the ability to identify the cause of the emotions, and to understand how our emotional state may be impacting others, is just as important as the initial identification of the emotions. Once leaders are able to conduct this level of assessment for them, they are in a stronger position to then offer coaching to others to help them gain this same level of clarity (the practice of coaching will be presented later in this chapter).

Questions leaders should ask themselves when assessing their own level of emotional self-awareness:

Interpersonal Relationships

Many research studies and literature reviews have noted how critical it is for leaders to engage in positive and productive interpersonal relationships, and it is apparent that a lack of ability to engage in effective interpersonal relationships is a very significant factor in derailing leaders’ careers (Day 2001; Turner and Müller 2005; Van Velsor and Leslie 1995). And really, this should come as no big surprise. When conducting workshops and asking leaders to consider an exceptional leader whom they have personally known (or know), and to describe the characteristics and qualities of these leaders, the ability to build relationships and make connections with others is always mentioned (in fact, we would estimate that approximately 98 percent of the characteristics and qualities that are mentioned are directly related to emotional intelligence).

A new vice president (VP) had been hired at a medical group and the medical director was very much looking forward to working with his new partner. They had engaged in a very thorough vetting and interview process and this new VP had really shone. During the first several months they worked closely to develop a vision and corresponding plan for the medical group—a group that had been struggling over the past years. They fed off of each other’s ideas, listened intently to one another, and were committed to doing whatever it took to help elevate the group to new levels. Eventually they presented the new vision and plan to the entire medical group, and it was received enthusiastically. As they continued to work together, their trust deepened and they reached a point where they felt they could almost read each other’s thoughts.

Dr. Reuven Bar-On, the creator of the EQ-i inventory, speaks to the mutuality of the relationships, and this brief story is an excellent example of this concept [EQ-i technical manual]. That is, the extent to which both parties feel they benefit from the relationship (equal parts give and take), the stronger the bond. Stephen Covey’s notion of the emotional bank account comes to mind: building trust and connection with another person places deposits in the emotional bank account of the other person (1989). The stronger the buildup in the account, the stronger the relationship and, when challenges or conflicts do arise, it is generally easier to work through them. This is the essence of Covey’s win/win principle, where each party benefits from the experience, which fits very nicely with the concept of mutuality. (See Table 6.1).

Here is a brief list of key factors that contribute to mutually satisfying relationships:

Table 6.1 Attributes that contribute to mutually satisfying relationships

Actions leaders can take when assessing their own interpersonal relationships:

Impulse Control

All of us have heard stories of, or experienced firsthand, a leader who at some point “lost it” and became enraged, either yelling at the members of the team, throwing some piece of equipment, or in the worst cases making physical contact with a team member. In most cases, these outbursts can be linked back to some “trigger moment”; something changed with the situation, or was said that then caused the leader to react in such a way (this is not to excuse this type of behavior, but rather to understand where it is coming from).

Consider your own past reactions for a moment: can you recall a situation where you reacted a certain way—became angry, annoyed, or upset at a situation or at someone else—and upon further reflection you now wish you had responded differently? What was it that happened? Why do you think you reacted the way that you did? Given more time to think about the situation, would you have potentially reacted differently? Do you ever find yourself “leaping before you look” or have you ever received this feedback?

Impulse control is “the ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive or temptation to act” (Stein and Book 2010). The ability to manage our impulses ultimately has a significant impact on how others view our leadership effectiveness, and thus on whether they see us as credible or not. Not making rash decisions, the ability to remain calm and composed, and managing our emotions, especially anger and anxiety, are all hallmarks of effective impulse control (Stein and Book 2010). We would like to call out at this point that managing our impulses is not about ignoring or suppressing our emotions—rather it is about understanding our emotional triggers and reactions, and being mindful of how we will respond. If we ignore this, or in any way validate or defend our impulsive behavior, it could have a significant impact on our own performance, the performance of our team, and the relationships we have with others.

Tips for Managing Our Impulses:

Optimism

People need to know that their leaders believe there is hope in the future. That is not to say there doesn’t need to be acknowledgment that there may be challenges to address; in fact this will almost always be the case (under the framework of EI, this is known as reality testing). But at the end of the day, folks want to know that things can be better in the future. Therefore, leaders need to be able to assess their own orientation toward optimism.

Fortunately, Martin Seligman has made it easier for us to do this. Often considered the father of the positive psychology movement, Seligman’s book, Learned Optimism, provides not just a thorough explanation of the differences between optimism and pessimism, but also a self-assessment that helps one determine their own individual “explanatory style” (how we explain events to ourselves) (Seligman 2006). Optimists see bad events as being temporary in nature, only affecting a specific aspect of their lives, and do not overly personalize their role in the event. Pessimists, on the other hand, see negative events as being long-lasting (more permanent), affecting many aspects or areas of their lives (pervasive), and they, in some way, bear personal responsibility (personalization) for the problem or challenge.

These three areas, permanence, pervasiveness, and personalization, are the “3-Ps” Seligman calls out as the primary factors influencing how we explain events to ourselves. Furthermore, these same forces are at play when we experience positive things in our lives. So it is also possible to be optimistic or pessimistic about good events. This distinction is one of the key elements that we believe sets Seligman’s work apart. In fact, it is possible for a person to be optimistic about bad events, but pessimistic about good events.

The optimism assessment can be found at this website: www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/testcenter

Questions leaders should ask themselves when assessing their own orientation to optimism:

Leader as Coach

This chapter has been primarily focused on the leader understanding how their own behaviors and actions impact the team, and what skills, attitudes, and strategies will help leaders manage their own behaviors and make stronger connections with their teams. This section will highlight the role of the leader as coach, and provide tips on specific coaching strategies.

First, it must be understood that coaching is about focusing on the growth and development of another. It is not, in our minds, about the performance evaluation process. Certainly, performance may be impacted as a result of the coaching, and there is clearly a time and place for formal evaluation processes, but the intent here is to focus on the development itself. Therefore, we suggest that, when coaching members of their team, leaders be explicit that the purpose is to focus on the ongoing development of the individual members of the team (or the team itself). In this context, development is about furthering one’s skills and competencies, both in technical and in nontechnical situations (e.g., communication skills).

James Flaherty’s book, Coaching: Evoking Excellence in Others, suggests coaching has three primary functions:

From this perspective one of the key skills for the leader as coach is to ask really good questions and then to be an even better listener. Asking open-ended, thought-provoking questions results in team members having to engage in a reflective process, taking time to consider their response. Asking questions first also protects the leader from lapsing into solving the problem, lecturing, or defending a position. Coaching invites the leader to focus on the needs of the team member and getting the person to reflect on how they want to further develop themselves and what actions they believe they can take.

Suggested Coaching Actions:

Leader as Educator

Sometimes it makes sense for you, as the leader, to assume the role of educator. For instance, there may be a new clinical or administrative process that the team now needs to use, and you have firsthand knowledge of it. In these situations it would make sense for you to step up and provide the education or training. This is equally true for teaching the skills of self-awareness, interpersonal skills, communication, and so on. In fact, every concept we have surfaced in this book provides an opportunity for leaders to teach these ideas and skills to others.

Act in the role of a facilitator, not a lecturer. Find creative ways to engage your team in conversation about the topic you wish them to learn more about—for example, assign an article to have them read ahead of time and, then at the meeting, break them into small groups to talk about their reactions to the article, what they learned, what they agree or disagree with, and how can your team begin practicing the skill or behavior the article discusses. This is just one example, but tapping into the various LS can also provide many creative ways to engage your team.

In Summary

Leadership is a difficult endeavor. It’s hard work. Not knowing one’s own blind spots or how others are perceiving specific behaviors only makes it that much more challenging. Thus, it is imperative that leaders understand how their own mindsets and biases contribute to the team culture, both as it currently exists and as they want to see it in the future. Leading the effort of creating adaptive teams requires energy, optimism, patience, perseverance, and sometimes forgiveness. So while it is certainly hard work, the act of leading can also be incredibly rewarding, especially when the team is functioning as a whole. Next, we will take a closer look at team accountability and the actions leaders can take to drive mutual accountability, where accountability to results and team process are both equally valued.

End of Chapter Reflective Questions

References

Begley, S., and R. Davidson. 2012. The Emotional Life of Your Brain: How Its Unique Patterns Affect the Way You Think, Feel, and Live-and How You Can Change Them. Hachette UK.

Day, D.V. 2001. “Leadership Development: A Review in Context.” The Leadership Quarterly 11, no. 4, pp. 581–613.

Flaherty, J. 2006. Coaching: Evoking Excellence in Others. Routledge.

Goleman, D.P. 1995. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ for Character, Health and Lifelong Achievement. New York: Bantam Books.

Gyatsho, T., D. Goleman, and R.J. Richardson. 2003. Destructive Emotions: How Can We Overcome Them? A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama. Bantam Books.

Seligman, M. 2006. Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. Vintage.

Stein, S.J., and H. Book. 2010. The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success, 25. John Wiley & Sons.

Turner, J.R., and R. Müller. 2005. The Project Manager’s Leadership Style as a Success Factor on Projects: A Literature Review.

Van Velsor, E., and J.B. Leslie. 1995. “Why Executives Derail: Perspectives Across Time and Cultures.” The Academy of Management Executive 9, no. 4, pp. 62–72.