CONTENTS

  1. A Note on Language
  2. Introduction: You Can Do This
  3. PART ONE
  4. Workparenting, Phase by Phase
  5. How to Navigate the Demands of Career and Parenthood with Confidence and Calm over the Next Eighteen Years
  6.   1.  While You’re Expecting
  7. The five key truths  •  Understanding your Workparent Template  •  Announcing the news  •  When others aren’t expecting it  •  How to handle questions and detractors  •  What to begin planning for … and what can wait
  8.   2.  Care
  9. When to start looking  •  What kind of care?  •  Finding, assessing, choosing, and hiring a care provider  •  What you may be thinking and feeling  •  The first few days and weeks  •  Communicating with your caregiver(s)  •  If you need to make a change  •  Emergency and backup care  •  Trusted caregivers, happy child
  10.   3.  Parental Leave and the Return to Work
  11. Planning your leave  •  Leave length: what if …?  •  Creating an effective transition and coverage plan  •  Staying in touch while you’re out  •  How to use leave when you’re not the primary caregiver  •  How to feel in charge of your career while away  •  Ways to make the return to work easier  •  Owning your narrative  •  The one-month check-in  •  Celebrating new achievements
  12.   4.  The First Year
  13. Establishing a Point of Control  •  Learning to make effective transitions to and from work  •  Staying and feeling connected while on the job  •  Creating a new daily schedule that works—for you  •  Navigating the important Year One milestones  •  Remaining visible  •  Taking charge of your performance review  •  Setbacks—and how to overcome them
  14.   5.  From Baby to Toddler to Little Kid
  15. Making the most of care transitions  •  Bonding with your child through activity  •  Harnessing the power of repetition and ritual  •  Explaining work to very small children  •  Confronting the screen-time dilemma  •  Still owning—and updating—your story  •  Considering changes at work  •  Staying on the right path—for you
  16.   6.  Expanding Your Family—If, When, and How
  17. Considering the pros and cons  •  When you still can’t decide  •  What to know and do when moving from one child to two— or more  •  Large-family strategies useful for all working parents
  18.   7.  School
  19. Why the start of school is hard, and how to make it easier  •  Educating them at home—and every day  •  Developing a strong relationship with your child’s teacher(s)  •  Homework  •  After-school activities  •  Talking with your manager and colleagues about school commitments  •  Volunteering  •  How to be present—and what to do when you can’t  •  Safety  •  Handling school-related emergencies  •  When school’s out—but work isn’t  •  The working-parent-friendly school
  20.   8.  The Almost-Teen and Teenage Years
  21. Making the relationship positive  •  How to keep them safe when you’re not around to play police officer  •  Staying connected when busy on the job  •  Getting them ready for adulthood—without dropping the ball on your career  •  Handling the logistics of next steps  •  Making workparenting your teen easier
  22. PART TWO
  23. Resources—and Smart Ways to Use Them
  24. Making the Most of What You’ve Got When Combining Career and Family
  25.   9.  If “It Takes a Village,” Then You’re the Mayor
  26. Are you a Do-It-Myselfer?  •  The 8-C method for assessing and expanding your Village  •  Third Parents  •  Communicating with the Village  •  Adapting your support network over time
  27. 10.  Time
  28. Sorting out what’s really important  •  The Calendar Audit  •  Containment: what, when, and how  •  Time and busyness as part of your professional brand  •  Your working-parent calendar  •  The real meaning of “balance”
  29. 11.  Money
  30. The three financial phases of working parenthood  •  Where do you stand?  •  Your workparent budget  •  Common workparent money dilemmas, and how to think through them  •  Making money matters logistically easier  •  Real parents, real returns
  31. PART THREE
  32. Success—on Your Own Terms
  33. Accomplishing What You Want, in the Way You Want—at Work and at Home
  34. 12.  Getting Ahead
  35. Do you really want to?  •  Is now the right time?  •  Advocating for it  •  Dealing with skeptics and naysayers  •  How to take on more  •  What if it all goes wrong?  •  When you’re happy where you are
  36. 13.  Transitions
  37. Is this particular transition worth it?  •  IWAP: Interviewing While a Parent  •  How to tell if an employer is working-parent friendly  •  Explaining it to the kids  •  How you might be feeling as you make the switch  •  Always a working parent
  38. 14.  When You’re the Boss
  39. No perfect time to start  •  Your business model matters  •  Systems and infrastructure are essential  •  Keeping an eye on costs  •  Growth  •  Benefits  •  Flexibility  •  Setting boundaries  •  Time off  •  Entrepreneurship and parenting will feel similar  •  It takes a Village  •  Creating a new template  •  Now, back to you: questions to ask yourself as an entrepreneurial workparent
  40. 15.  Flexibility
  41. Possible arrangements, what they offer—and what to be cautious about  •  What’s going to work for you?  •  Advocating for it  •  Making it work, day-to-day  •  Sending the right career signals  •  Taking stock  •  Becoming a builder
  42. 16.  Away
  43. Your workparent Away Planner  •  Creating counterweights  •  Saying goodbye  •  Specific and powerful ways to stay, and feel, in touch  •  Making your homecoming calmer and more satisfying  •  Showing up and being there
  44. 17.  Time Off
  45. Scaling it up  •  Microcheating  •  Power outages  •  Sabbaths  •  The intentional weekend  •  Vacation: how, when, and where  •  Sabbaticals  •  Career breaks  •  Your time-off action plan
  46. PART FOUR
  47. Staying Well and Whole
  48. Taking Good Care of Your Family—and Yourself— While You’re Hard at Work
  49. 18.  Food and Mealtimes
  50. Setting your House Rules  •  Fail-safe ways to make the logistics easier  •  Feeding very small children  •  Breakfasts  •  Emergency meals  •  Takeout, eating out, and fast food  •  How to make Family Meals happen  •  While at the table  •  Food as part of your family’s template
  51. 19.  Health—Yours and Theirs
  52. At home  •  At the doctor’s office  •  With your caregiver(s)  •  At school  •  At work  •  Putting it all together
  53. 20.  Energy
  54. Getting more sleep  •  Exercise and movement  •  Rituals and activities that relax and recharge you  •  Creating your energy action plan  •  Learning to work well when your battery is low  •  More you
  55. 21.  Feelings
  56. Where the difficult feelings come from  •  Ten specific strategies that work  •  … And strategies that don’t  •  Giving yourself what you need and deserve
  57. PART FIVE
  58. Your Family, Your Way
  59. Special Tips—and Extra Encouragement—for Winning at Workparenting in Any Family Structure
  60. 22.  The Two-Career Couple
  61. Why?  •  The template talk  •  Structured Check-In  •  On Call  •  Joint Activity  •  Tell Me More  •  Public Admiration
  62. 23.  Sole or Almost-Sole Earner
  63. Thirteen Key Questions that will help you make it work
  64. 24.  Single Workparenting
  65. When your colleagues don’t get it  •  Managing professional impressions  •  Making workparent decisions solo  •  Self-care  •  Giving your child what they need  •  Adapting your Village  •  Confidence for the long term
  66. 25.  Proud Workparents
  67. Templating, role models, and mentors  •  The path to parenthood  •  Benefits and leave  •  Boundaryless questions  •  LGBTQIA+-friendly care  •  Finding community  •  The need to divide and conquer  •  Owning your narrative  •  Creating allies  •  Paving the road ahead
  68. Conclusion: A New Template, All Our Own
  69. Appendix: The Workparent Leader
  70. Sensible advice for:
  •   •  Becoming a more workparent-friendly organization
  •   •  Setting up a working-parents network in your community or organization
  •   •  Managing workparents, day-to-day
  1. Research Note: Learning from Working Parents
  2. Index
  3. Acknowledgments
  4. About the Author
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