Foreword

We are living in one of the most unsettling periods in recent history. Nationally and internationally, as people, as businesses, and as institutions, we face a great deal of uncertainty and volatility. People everywhere report personal and professional anxiety, internal turmoil as to their present situation, and fear for a future that may be quite different from the one they had once imagined or prepared for. This book is for everyone who wishes to understand and exercise the power of emotional connections to pivot teams and organizations toward thriving.

My colleague, Dr. Gershfeld, shares with the reader the culmination of her work in the field of human connection, propitious in its timing and critical to our well-being. The Emotional Connection (EmC) strategy is academically sound, research-informed, and experiential in its methodology to restore the human connections necessary for people to engage, create, explore, and grow at work.

In this book, we intend to fundamentally shake the pillars upon which we interrelate with people at work. For the most part, we have been taught that the company is a place where relationships are transactional, dispassionate, and result-oriented. Moreover, emotions, we are told, have little to no place in the office. We assert that underlying all of our interactions are the emotions with which we are all operating, both consciously and unconsciously. Emotions are inherently present in the office, they impact everything we do, and the business results we are so keenly seeking can only come about when people are connected at an emotional level.

This book lights the way to appreciating the importance of developing the emotional language to describe, acknowledge, and address emotions within our workplaces. It is, and I can attest, a reprogramming of sorts, we are all capable of undergoing, but until now, we have not had the method to do so, competently and effectively. I remember her first words to me when I described a professional conflict that was quite troubling for me. As I tried to dig deeper into the content of the matter, as we all want to do, she stopped me. I had jumped headfirst into analyzing the content and the behaviors of everyone involved. She asked me instead to explore my emotions and what I was feeling at the time.

I must admit that it was the first time I had been asked to reflect on the emotions in such an extensive and systematic manner. I even remember being a bit irritated at the focus on emotions; it seemed unnatural for discussing a workplace conflict. The process slowly guided me to understand how I had become emotionally unbalanced during the conflict, how my reactions were understandable given the underlying emotions, and how it is that I can begin to find my way back to a place of balance.

I have come to learn that it is not the content that drives most conflicts, but rather the emotions that have been triggered and the cycle of negative events that follow, automatically and with consistency, they widen the rift, making it difficult to reconcile.

This reprogramming of our managerial brain to move away from the content and move toward a better understanding and acknowledging of emotions is a critical first step. We not only have a better chance of resolving conflicts; most importantly, we can build enduring bonds that become essential to achieving ambitious business goals.

Extraordinary results can only come from people who are thriving, and the key to that is emotional connection, where trust is high, values are aligned, and people feel valued by each other. The concepts of emotional connection, vulnerability, and attachment are well documented and discussed in various forums, books, articles, and programs. The EmC strategy has effectively consolidated the body of knowledge in this field into a purposeful and deliberate pathway to achieving the connection we all crave to thrive at work.

The EmC strategy teaches individuals that disconnections are inevitable, but the time we spend in cycles of negative thought and action is entirely controllable by us.

If there is one thing that stands out in this work is that it is not a guarantee or a full-proof methodology, but rather a deeply personal process, a conversation, and an experience, which puts the principles of the conflict into direct engagement with each other. The learning that takes place is permanent and positive, both at work and at home. I am delighted that we are also able to share with you the importance of nurturing emotional connections for those who exercise or wish to exercise leadership.

Leadership is an entirely different proposition than management, as it is a state of being and not merely a role or a position. Leaders put themselves in the crosshairs of problems, out of moral, social, or personal obligations, creating an authentic experience for all those around them. Leaders naturally understand the power of connection in invoking the sense of purpose in themselves and others. They are driven by needs that are not so easily achievable or solvable. This book is essential reading to help leaders foster the courage necessary to move the needle, connect through compassion that accepts people as they are, and create environments where people feel emotionally safe, thereby boosting creativity.

In this year of ever-changing threats and societal angst, we are at another stormy present, as President Lincoln referred to a time of significant change in the United States after the civil war. The storm that is gathering around us is fierce and unrelenting; it is shattering our norms and our stability. But, as with all storms, they pass at some point, showing us a new path. Whatever form that new normal takes, we know it will be enlightened through human connections, authenticity, and vulnerability. It paves the way for us to expect the most from each other and ourselves, thus building strong and enduring relationships.

The richness of exploring our emotions and our connections may seem at first glance as local in its significance, but it seems to me that our collective humanity is at stake. Our bonds with each other are the vital building blocks of a new future at work, home, and as a global community.

Ramin Sedehi

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