GUIDELINE 17

Develop High-Performance Habits

THE two most productive habits that govern my adult life, reading and sports, were both developed when I was a child. I intentionally used the passive voice because both were embedded independently of my control, but within the scope of my choice, which was a critical success factor. My parents and I moved to the United States when I was almost seven years old. At that age, and under the right conditions, it is relatively easy to inflict new behavior patterns. I started attending school as soon as we settled in, although I did not know any English. That was quite a bold experiment on my parent’s part. Perhaps that too became a habit because my life since then follows that same pattern.

I clearly recall the moment I developed a passion for reading. Our reasoning skills teacher had an unconventional approach to education. She removed the mandatory textbook and course reading list from the syllabus. Instead, we were asked to read at least one book per month. The novel element was that we could select whatever work interested us. Additional class time was allocated for discovering the extensive library collections at our own pace. To this day, a library or bookshop is a comforting place for me because it brings back memories of a carefree and non-imposed time. Thanks to that teacher, reading became not only an enriching mental escape but also a high-return investment for me.

The existence of choice is the ultimate form of freedom for the one who has it and a powerful tool of motivation for the one who grants it. Consequently, desirable habits can be instilled by proper setting and allowing for the liberty to choose, even if it relates to what you want to read. It also requires an understanding of the preferences and natural inclinations of the individual. To find out what yours are, you may need to experiment a bit. For example, I engaged in many sports activities throughout my life to narrow down my physical activity to a few selected forms that I like. Enjoyment is a critical component of ingraining a habit.

Negotiations are often classified as one of the more emotionally charged human interactions. In stressful circumstances, it is recommended to have a pre-determined pattern of behavior that limits the reliance on emotions. Under danger or attack, it is then easier to go in auto-pilot mode if a habitual behavior pre-exists. For example, an army is trained for the unexpected by rehearsed drills. High-performance negotiators need to have a habitual pattern of behavior as a fallback position in case negotiations get tough. Since it takes anywhere between 18 to 254 days to develop a habit, it is worth getting started before the actual need for high-performance arises.

In the course of my work with business professionals, I have identified four key characteristics of high-impact negotiators. The findings are as follows: emotional stability, a proactive approach, a multi dimensional outlook, and positive energy. Emotionally stable negotiators can withstand difficult situations and handle setbacks, all the while remaining efficient in the process. They are governed by reason and logic rather than by emotions. Many sport disciplines require self-management and overcoming of personal limitations. Sport also teaches proactiveness, which is understood as the ability to make decisions and execute them in order to reach a specific goal.

A multi dimensional outlook is a result of cultivating interdisciplinary interests. Negotiations call for a broad array of skills. Success comes much easier to those who master communication and interpersonal skills, the art of persuasion, the basics of psychology, perception and impression management techniques, and elements of intercultural sensitivity. Reading is the best way to expand mental horizons. Follow the Buffet Formula “Go to bed smarter than when you woke up” and develop the habit of reading before nighttime.

Positive energy can offset the tension of a stressful negotiation. Its benefits are dual—for yourself and the other party. It is often the cheapest concession that you can make. Negotiation is a mirror. What you display in terms of self-assurance and attitude is reflected in the actions of your partner and ultimately affects their behavior toward you. Positive energy is contagious. Be the one who spreads it around.

Sport is the best natural mood stimulator. During exercise, regardless of its type, the body releases endorphins. These chemicals work in a similar way to drugs called opioids, which relieve pain and lead to euphoria. The feeling they produce is similar to the action of morphine. The only difference is that it is legal.

High performance and healthy habits seem to be positively correlated. Success in negotiations is often the result of practices established outside of the negotiation zone. A habit is a three-step process that consists of the cue (for example, feeling stressed), the routine (for example, going for a walk), and the reward (feeling less anxiety). It all starts with a properly framed incentive. Any habitual behavior can be altered, provided the cue and the reward stay more or less the same. To break an old habit, you need to replace the old routine with a new one of your preference. Why not choose an activity that will enhance your overall performance and bring you closer to achieving your projected future?

Guideline 17—Key Takeaways

1.

Develop healthy habits as early as possible.

2.

Instill good habits by proper scene-setting.

3.

Exercise the freedom to choose the (good) habit that you want to develop.

4.

Ingrain a (good) habit by introducing the element of enjoyment.

5.

Cultivate activities that develop emotional stability, require a proactive approach and multi dimensional outlook, and stimulate positive energy.

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