CHAPTER 5: TIPS FOR EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING
What is emotional well-being?
Leaders such as Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela embodied high levels of emotional well-being. They radiated a sense of purpose, a clear set of values, and integrity that helped them surmount many difficulties.
Emotional well-being is about how we ‘are’ with ourselves. Some people see this as the ‘spiritual’ side of our being, about having a ‘soul’. Emotional well-being comes from having a strong understanding of oneself, a sense of meaning and purpose and a set of values and principles that can guide us in our decision-making and how we live our life.
If you your score was low in this area, here are some activities to increase this energy:
Writing your vision
Identifying your purpose and vision is an important step towards personal understanding and acceptance and is a great way of focusing on how you need to be. Planning how to live out your vision will create inner happiness and satisfaction.
To create your personal vision, answer these questions:
1.What do you want most out of life?
2.If you could be exactly the kind of person you wanted, what would your qualities be?
3.What is your ideal professional or vocational situation? What impact would you like your efforts to have?
4.What material things are important for you to own?
5.What would you like to create in the arena of individual learning, travel, reading or any other activities that are important to you?
6.What is your ideal living environment?
7.What do you want to see happen in the world?
8.What is your desire for health, fitness, athletics and anything to do with your body?
9.What type of relationships would you like to have with friends, family and others?
10.What else, in any other area of your life, would you like to create?
11.Imagine that your life has a unique purpose – fulfilled through what you do, your interrelationships, and the way you live. How would you describe that purpose?
Read through your answers and then formulate a purpose:
My purpose in life is to .................................
If you are a visual person, you may wish to represent your vision/purpose pictorially and draw it on a piece of paper.
When you have created your vision, ask yourself if this is what you want. If the answer is yes, how you will ensure that your purpose is fulfilled?
If the answer is no, go back through the questions and identify where the lack of alignment is until you have a purpose that you are happy with.
Identifying your personal values
Identifying what’s personally of value to you and that you hold dear is a useful exercise in self-understanding.
The list below gives a wide range of values that may help you pinpoint what is important to you. Feel free to add any other values you may think of. Then, tick the things that are most important to you. Look to highlight up to eight key values.
Select your top eight priorities from the list above and detail what they mean to you. This will help you to identify and measure when these values are being met.
1. ___________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________
4. ___________________________________________
5. ___________________________________________
6. ___________________________________________
7. ___________________________________________
8. ___________________________________________
Consider:
•Which values do not complement your purpose (vision)? If so, what if any, do you need to change?
•How closely do your personal life and the organisation you are working in fulfil these values?
•How important is it that your personal life and organisation reflect these values?
•What do you want to do if either your personal life or the organisation is not fulfilling these values?
By gaining clarity on your own purpose and values, you will be in a position to remain congruent in what you believe, do and say. It will help you base your decisions on a deeper self-knowledge.
What is important to you?
In this section we look at the activities you like to do best and which are important to you, on the basis that doing things you love makes you more resilient to stress.
1.Identify something you are passionate about, aspire to or dream of achieving. What have you done to realise this, why have you not achieved it, and how are you going to if you want to?
2.Over three days, write down your answer to the question “What is important to me?” Afterwards, ask yourself “Is how I spend my time reflective of what is important to me?”
3.List the people in your life who matter to you most. Give a rating on a scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high) for the quality time you have with them. Consider how you can increase these scores.
4.What three things will you do over the next month to increase the levels of happiness you can create for yourself and others?
Do things that make you feel fulfilled
Here are two suggestions for activities that can make you feel more fulfilled in life.
How are you spending your time?
This activity is designed to help you assess and realign what is important to you in your life and how you are spending your time.
•First, list the things that are most important in your life – the things that bring you joy.
•Keep a diary over the week so you can record at 30-minute intervals how you are spending your time.
•Analyse the results of your calendar activity. Consider where you spend the most of your time and whether you are happy about this. How much time do you spend on activities that bring you joy and fulfilment? What can you do to rectify this balance?
Be kind
Feed your soul and do a random act of kindness. If you make someone else happy, it makes you happy.
•Pay for someone’s bus ticket – you don’t have to know them.
•Bake a cake and deliver it to a neighbour.
•Fill your partner’s car up with petrol.
•Pay the toll for the car behind you.
•Give up an hour of your time to volunteer for a cause that is dear to you.
As an example, during the COVID-19 pandemic I discovered that in my neighbourhood, there is a 90-year-old lady who lives by herself and has no family. As she was self-isolating, I offered to do her shopping and bring her a hot meal at the weekend. Although I can’t go into her house, I really look forward to my encounters with her and we have developed a mutually rewarding friendship.
Reflection and action points from this chapter
You may find it strange to consider emotional well-being. However, studies show that taking care of your soul and being can help strengthen your sense of self and your ability to be resilient.
Challenge yourself to undertake one of the activities from this chapter.