3.
THE WEIGHT OF EXPECTATIONS

Research carried out by Yiannis Gabriel, Professor of Organizational Theory at the University of Bath, shows that the expectations laid on people in charge to be all-knowing and all-powerful are shaped by our own childhood experiences. Parenting is the first all-knowing, all-powerful role that we experience in our lives and our parents, or those who raise us, start by being the centre of the universe for us. We are born completely powerless and dependent on them to provide us with food, shelter and love. If we are lucky, they are there when we take our first steps, picking us up when we stumble, orienting us to the world around us, shedding light on puzzling ideas or situations, and comforting us in times of trouble. Parents are the experts on everything – in their children’s eyes.

In spite of vivid memories of our parents’ failings and mistakes, many of us still carry this illusion of perfection and omnipotence into the workplace. It affects our relationships with bosses and underlines the expectations we have of people in charge. We have an ingrained need for authority figures. We want to believe that there is someone out there who can solve the problems we are facing, to help us, to “save” us, even though our experience tells us otherwise, and we may have been disappointed many times before.

Caroline, a project manager in the IT department of a large company, describes her relationship with her manager.

“Jane is someone I can go to for advice. She always makes time for me, for which I am really grateful. When I first started in the department she took me under her wing and we would spend some lunchtimes together, talking about the business. I had so much to learn and the stakes were very high. We were in the process of rolling out a fresh technology platform and everyone was stressed. I knew that Jane had it all under control and her confidence was reassuring. Just like watching the flight attendants during a bumpy ride, all eyes were on her to see how she would react. At one point we dropped the ball and had some setbacks. Under Jane’s direction we were able to regroup and refocus. It was a challenging time, but the team worked really well together. Jane is able to solve any problem that you bring to her. There’s nothing that she can’t do. I have so much to learn from her!”

The higher the uncertainty we find ourselves in, the higher our propensity to depend on the people in charge to provide clarity, to assure us that we will be OK.

Steven: I was working with the management team of a large media organization. All the leaders were smart, co-operative and had known each other well for a number of years. As an icebreaker to explore behaviour under uncertainty, together with a colleague, I asked them to play a game called “traffic jam.” This involved two teams facing each other, with an empty space in between. Each person could take one step forward, but only into an empty space. The object of the game was for the two teams to exchange places. As the game started, the teams had fun experimenting with possibilities. First they began to look for someone who could guide the team through based on prior experience. “Has anyone played this before or something similar?” was asked. As the time pressure increased, individuals broke away and attempted to solve the problem on paper, while the rest of the team waited by in frustration. Near the end of the session the senior leaders became exasperated, becoming more autocratic, issuing commands and telling people what to do. Towards the end the task was still not complete so the team started looking for someone to help save them from failing to complete the task. “Can you help us?” they asked one of the facilitators in desperation. It is easy to collaborate when the pressure is low. Under stress, however, the team became dependent on the people in charge to solve the problem they were facing.

We follow people because of what they know, not because of what they don’t know. We engage consultants because they know something that we don’t.

The pressure is not just to be competent but also to take decisive action. Can Caroline, the IT project manager above, solve all of her team’s problems? It’s unlikely. Does she always know what to do? Again, this is highly unlikely. As another senior manager said to us, “I kind of feel obliged in being a leader and a professional to have the answers. I feel the expectation from others that I have to ‘know’. That is what I am there for.” Under the weight of these expectations, we may be forgiven for feeling compelled to provide short-term fixes. These may temporarily alleviate the tension and the uncertainty, but in the long run they may get in the way of making any real progress on the challenges.

Sometimes these high expectations can even lead to us being dishonest with ourselves and with others.