Carolyn Parks is publisher of SlowStruck.com, an engaging online lifestyle magazine promoting the philosophy that “taking time is the ultimate rush.” Formerly, Carolyn was founder of Outstanding Women Speakers, a North American all-women speakers bureau. She is proud to be an advisory board member for The Women Network, a visionary organization dedicated to empowering women internationally.
Years ago, when I was an entrepreneur producing a women’s consumer show and booking speakers, I was surprised to learn that significantly more men than women were being promoted as professional speakers. The ratio was approximately four to one in favor of men.
It struck me like a lightning bolt that this ratio was unrealistic in terms of reflecting the true pool of talent out there. It doesn’t take a genius to conclude that inspiration comes from all of humanity, not just men. I saw a disparity and wanted to address it. I was immediately inspired to launch an all-women speakers bureau; I was not only attracted to the speaking industry because of my events background and my own love of public speaking but also because I truly wanted to level the playing field. Women working alongside talented men, offering the world inspiration and knowledge—that’s the way it should be!
Skip ahead some years and the ratio has definitely changed for the better. Women are being recognized and promoted in abundance, but women speakers are still sorely needed as role models in certain areas of business, technology, science, and manufacturing. As more women take the helm in these sectors—and they are doing so!—the key is to encourage them to get out there in the public arena and share their messages. Organizations like TED are doing wonders to achieve this goal.
Every individual offers unique gifts. I believe that we should focus on what humanity can achieve together through appreciating each person’s unique gifts—gender aside. But (there’s that proverbial “but”!) I believe that there are some general traits more closely associated with how women express their knowledge and talents than with how men do. And if my observations are based on reality, it just affirms for me that great things can happen when men and women work together, through the blending and acceptance of these differing styles.
Based on hundreds of women I’ve observed in the speaking industry, I’ve identified these common traits many women share:
• Women have great conviction and truly want to change the world. Whether they are business consultants/leaders, motivational speakers, athletes, artists, or scientists, they do what they do because they have a passion for it and want to inspire growth in others. In my experience, women rarely strive for commercial success as the singular end result of their work. Certainly, being successful by traditional standards (recognition, financial compensation) matters to them, and why shouldn’t it? But this description of success is often treated as a by-product of women’s broader goals. Women tend to look globally at how they can effect real change—and when I say globally, I mean it in the sense of going beyond what is immediately in front of us. Whether these goals of change are focused within their communities at a grassroots level or internationally is somewhat irrelevant. The important point is that women’s motivations and convictions extend far beyond the mercenary.
• Women see themselves as the whole of many equally vital parts. Most women speakers who listed their profiles with my bureau put great emphasis on the volunteer roles they take on, the families they care for, and the values they personally espouse. They believe these elements are as important in describing them as people as the expertise they market professionally. More and more, women are bringing their personal lives into their presentations. Personal has become professional. Women recognize that authenticity resonates with their audiences and colleagues, and that real connection matters and leads to change. This whole picture matters to women in their work, as it is the entire life experience and person that informs all of the component parts.
• Women fuel and are fueled by connections. They are masterful at making real connections because it just comes naturally. Women generally enjoy helping others. They also step openly into a conversation, meet the whole person in front of them, and, in return, share their whole person. By whole person, I mean that women are unafraid to reveal who they are beyond their workday. When people are driven to help others and also reveal their own multiple layers, opportunities and synergies quickly arise. In my opinion, this is where magic takes place.
• Women are really good at reinvention. I cannot count the number of conversations I’ve had with women speakers who have achieved their vision and success through major reinvention in their lives and careers. They faced their challenges, lived through their fears, and came out on the other side with renewed vision and conviction. Women are very adept at adaptation and reinvention.
As I was thinking about these traits that I believe are predominant in women, I couldn’t help thinking of one woman who boldly expresses all of them. Linda Lundstrom is a celebrated Canadian fashion designer and businesswoman who introduced the celebrated women’s La Parka coat around the world, most notably throughout Canada because of its chic and luxurious “northern” feel. Linda was a maverick in adopting the lean manufacturing process in her business and is still sought-after for her expertise in that area. She gives back (in many ways) to the aboriginal communities that exist within and outside of the community in which she was raised. And she is unafraid to reveal her spiritual side, often revealing God as an important influence in her life.
Linda had to reinvent her life when her business went bankrupt (after years of great success) due to economic forces beyond her control. This was an incredibly difficult time in her life financially, professionally, and personally. Through this tragic event, Linda reinvented herself and, during that process, took the time to appreciate the world around her. She retreated to nature at her beloved cottage home with her family. I have seen Linda speak a few times and she tells her story with tremendous wit, grace, insight, and unabashed honesty. In my opinion, she is one of the best speakers I have ever heard.
Linda embraces her reinvention and steps forward boldly, saying, “Here I am, good, bad, and ugly. Let’s talk!” With this, she has touched me, along with many others. I called Linda and asked her if she’d like to be listed on my roster of speakers, unsure of where she was in life. Much to my delight, she agreed.
I remember sitting at an event, listening to Linda speak. At one point in her presentation, she pointed me out and told the audience I had helped to change her life by making my phone call at that particular time. I simply couldn’t believe it. First of all, I couldn’t believe I had made any difference to a dynamic and successful woman like Linda! Second, by suggesting I had made a difference to her, she made a difference for me (there’s that idea of women being open and honest and unafraid in an interaction—they naturally make connections and change lives).
I realized, through Linda, that we all have the power to help another person, to make a difference, and that if we feel the urge to make contact, we should and we must. We never know who will need us on their personal journey, and likewise, who we will need.
I am now in the process of my own reinvention and hope I can take Linda’s lead as I move toward a new vision. I have been in the world of events and speakers for some time and I recently came to the important conclusion that I wanted to let more of my own talents shine. I have launched an online lifestyle magazine called SlowStruck—Taking Time Is the Ultimate Rush. This engaging online magazine shares features and contributions from many unique personalities, all focused on one central goal: encouraging small and doable changes in order to revitalize our health, our careers, and our relationships. It is an incredibly simple premise but something that we all need to remember in our fast-paced world. Our philosophy is that small changes are often what can make a monumental difference in living a meaningful life.
When I consider my own evolution and approach to my career and look at all that has led to this moment, I realize that there is that definite female stamp on it—just as in those four main characteristics I shared previously. I want to embrace a genuine quest that not only reflects my own skills, talents, and interests but also one where I feel an absolute conviction and desire to change peoples’ lives for the better. It is a direction where I know that my whole person—the mom, the wife, the friend, the marketer, the creative person—will truly matter to the product. I feel like a leaf (but a brightly colored, very exuberant leaf!) on the wind, allowing myself to be completely open and excited about new connections, wherever they might arise (I know they will be in every direction). And finally, I am really comfortable with reinvention. I am fortunate to live in a culture that encourages and easily allows for reinvention . . . and I thankfully accept that gift.
The women around me have taught me, inspired me, and groomed me—most often without even knowing it. And therein lies the beauty of it all: this is just what women naturally do! I think that the greatest gift we can give to others in work and life, and to younger women in particular, is simply to be the people we naturally are. That is where we give and receive our greatest success.