“There has to be a better way!” I remember saying these words to myself after yet another board meeting, which I felt was unproductive. We were clearly not hearing each other, the emotions in the room were overwhelming, and we were not getting anywhere in our approach.
I am writing this book because 10 years ago, I took steps to understand what was going on with me and all the other people on the board, as well as the problems I was encountering in various companies and teams. The process, outlined in this book, is my approach to solving age-old problems of conflicts and disconnections at work, which are far too often tolerated or ameliorated but are not solved!
While the actual process of resolving deep conflicts requires practice and expertise, every person working in any organization can learn the emotional vocabulary that exists for them and others and change the dynamics of negative conversations. This emotional language is missing in a lot of training programs and discussions at work.
My goal with this book is to help the reader understand that emotions are always present, whether at work or home. Understanding emotions and your response to them, clarifying your needs, and acknowledging the difficulty of the same task for others will help you navigate your next conflict.
The term conflict is used throughout the book. Conflicts are more than face-to-face disagreements, they are also results of stressful situations, disengagement from the workplace, low productivity, and lack of trust. I hope you will come to appreciate that it is possible to reverse these negative situations and create a more cohesive work environment. The roadmap in this book will serve as your guideline to understanding yourself and others, building the opportunity to form stronger, more resilient relationships and teams.
This book provides you with both the science of attachment as well as the knowledge of the EmC process. The real-life examples, which are drawn from a decade of practice, will provide you with a practical understanding of the EmC process.
It is my expectation that this book will inspire the leader in you to appreciate the importance of being emotionally connected with all whom you work with and to engage everyone in building and fostering communities of trust, capable of achieving great outcomes.
In these settings, people grow, thrive, and blossom.
Lola Gershfeld