Since some readers learn best through doing, we offer a set of exercises related to the Self, Group, and World loops and the six Group Needs. As a reminder, here are the definitions of the six Group Needs.
Acceptance: Knowing and accepting ourselves for who we are
Potential: Sensing and growing into our fuller and better selves
Bond: The connections among us that create a shared sense of identity and belonging
Purpose: The reason we come together
Reality: Understanding and accepting the world as it is and how it affects us
Impact: Our intention to make a difference and our readiness to act
Look over the titles of these nine exercises, select one that attracts you, and read through it quickly. See whether it sounds intriguing, different from what you would ordinarily do, and risky within reason. Then try it. The first four exercises can be completed by yourself; the last five involve working with a group. Here are the exercises:
| Exercise 1: See Yourself Through the Model |
| Exercise 2: Recall a Great Group Experience |
| Exercise 3: Stretch Toward Your Potential |
| Exercise 4: Build Relationships with Others |
| Exercise 5: We Are Tribal |
| Exercise 6: Emerging Group Purpose |
| Exercise 7: Impact the World Through Groups |
| Exercise 8: Getting to Know World Reality |
| Exercise 9: Be the Change You Want |
All nine exercises move you toward your better self; make the time to do some of them. And they will have a more lasting effect when you collect your ideas and reflections in a journal.
Your effectiveness in groups relies on the strengths emphasized in the Self loop—accepting who you are and growing into your Potential.
Goal: Increase your clarity about what you need from groups and what you offer to groups.
Return to the Group Needs as shown in the model on the previous page. Use the following questions to reflect on the six needs. Save your answers in your journal.
Acceptance: What are the abilities, talents, knowledge, and positive personal characteristics that you typically bring to a group? What excites you about bringing these abilities? What shortcomings do you worry about in a group situation? What concerns you about these shortcomings?
Potential: Describe the direction in which you would like to grow your talents. What do you need to do in your current work and life to experience the growth you need? What skills do you have that could be used better? How might you use your next new group to more intentionally grow yourself?
Bond: What do you want or need from the groups in your life? What types of relationships would you like to have with other group members? What roles do you like to play in groups? What would you like to get better at, when it comes to establishing yourself in groups?
Purpose: What kinds of groups are you attracted to? Why? Comment on how much you are drawn to groups created to have an impact on the world versus groups created to support members.
Reality: How would you describe your outlook on life? More or less: positive/negative; hopeful/cynical; optimistic/pessimistic; analytical/emotional? Give examples and reasons. What challenges do you face? What resources support you? What are some of the measures you use to assess how well youare doing in the world? At work? In your personal life?
Impact: What kind of differences do you want to make in the world around you? How important is it to you to make such differences? Why? How does this affect the groups you choose to join?
You have just looked at the six needs and applied them to yourself. Review your answers and highlight your key points. Consider how these reflections might affect how you would introduce yourself to a new group.
Goal: Bring to life the notion of an extraordinary group and your contribution to it.
Think about a group experience you've had that could be described as amazing, remarkable, exceptional, magical, or really great.
Take notes on your answers to these questions:
What factors helped this to be such a wonderful experience?
How did you contribute?
What was most satisfying or fulfilling? Why?
Were you changed because of this experience? If yes, How are you different and how has that difference impacted your life?
Reconsider the experience you just described, answering these needs-related questions:
What did you learn about yourself?
What caused you to grow?
What did you like about belonging to the group?
How connected were you to the group's Purpose or other members?
How did the group pay attention to the world around it? To what effect?
When you think of the Impact of the group, what is most satisfying to you?
The questions in B above were very general; questions in C were based on the Group Needs model; now go deeper.
Describe the difference in your answers to the questions in B and C. What, if anything, did the questions in C call forth beyond those in B?
What new understandings, if any, came as a result of the six Group Needs related questions in C.
What might you do differently the next time you join a group?
Goal: Move yourself to a position that requires you to do something you don't know yet how to do.
Think of a group you are currently involved with. Imagine that two years from now you are looking back on your work with this group, feeling proud of what you've learned. List what you are proud of and check the three items you would most like to improve in over two years.
Tell your group at least one item from your improvement list. Ask them what you might do and what they could do to help you develop.
Look for someone with the capabilities you want to develop. Watch that person at work; how might you engage him or her in coaching you?
Ask another group member to be a sounding board for you as you stretch into these new behaviors. Periodically chat with that person about your progress, getting feedback and suggestions. Act on what you hear; notice what happens.
These exercises help you and your group-mates better appreciate the melding of Acceptance and Potential with Bond and Purpose. Begin by looking back through your journal for clues on what you and your group might work on.
Goal: Explore how you develop relationships with people in your group.
In Chapter Five we suggested that making relationships is akin to making candles. Candles are formed a layer at a time by repeatedly dipping the candle in wax. And so it is with group-based relationships grow slowly over time by repeatedly returning to the group and dipping yourself in. With one group in mind, make notes on your answers to these questions:
How would you characterize your relationships with the group as a whole? With individuals in it?
Which relationships are closest and most distant? What makes them so? Think more in terms of behavior, rather than personality.
What have you done to build bonds with the group and the individuals it? Compare your efforts with those members you feel closer to and more distant from. What one or two things could you do to reinforce the bonds you feel with people you are close to? With those people you feel more distant from?
How do your behaviors and feelings with this group fit with other groups in your life—if at all? Are any patterns evident?
Save your notes on all of this. Bring them to your next group meeting as a reminder.
Goal: Share perspective about the culture of the group and its impact.
The words tribe or clan inspire images of a tight group of people who depend upon and defend themselves. Tribes usually have mutually understood ways of doing things together. Over time these become more instinctive, habitual, seldom questioned. These are people who truly understand the phrase, "I've got your back."
Look up tribe on Wikipedia. Note words used to describe tribe. Which words are you most attracted to?
Ask your group what words come to mind when you say tribe or tribal. Note those and offer the words you collected online.
Based on these reflections, ask the group: What might an outsider observe about how we go about doing things? What are our group patterns and habits? How do they serve us? How do they get in our way? Does this discussion suggest we should do anything differently?
Goal: Encourage deeper exploration of group purpose.
It's not unusual for groups to form around a clear and early Purpose and then with time to discover that there is more than what first met the eye. The initial Purpose stands and is not discarded, but members—individually or collectively—find the work takes on new meaning that connects to another, related reason for coming together.
Ask members to make a few notes on why your group meets, what it is called together to do.
Ask each person to say what she or he holds as the group's Purpose. Discourage discussion between each person's comments.
When everyone has spoken, consider what you have heard together.
Ask the group whether it needs to reclarify the shared Purpose. If so, find a way together to refine the Purpose and record it for your continuing use in making decisions.
The next three exercises are designed to help groups accept the Reality they face and make change in their world.
Goal: Recognize how you already are connected to making positive change in the world.
List the groups that are important in your life. Write down the Purpose of each group.
Mark the groups that are about External Change—those that directly intend to make a difference in the world.
Mark the Individual Support groups—those committed to making members more effective in the outside world as human beings, as community members, as family members, or as people in the workplace.
Notice which groups you are more drawn to, if any. How is your commitment to each group influenced by the way the group impacts the world? Note your observations.
What meaning do you take away from these reflections? Discuss this with a friend; ask what he or she thinks this might suggest for your participation in your groups.
Go to the next meeting of an important group with your notes and discussion in mind. Say something positive about that group and its Purpose based on your thoughts. Make this a short, simple statement; say it sincerely; don't expect a long conversation about it. Just appreciate the group and let go of it. Notice any reactions.
If this goes well, try it again with another group.
Goal: Identify what your group needs to learn about its world.
This exercise will work most effectively with External Change groups.
Identify an important issue that challenges your group's ability to fulfill its Purpose or achieve its desired Impact. Develop a short statement that defines that issue.
Present the issue to the group and ask: What do we need to know in order to meet this challenge? Build a list of the responses; many of them will be in the form of questions.
Prioritize the list, considering each item in terms of two characteristics: power to block your group's success and the urgency with which you need to attend to this issue. Items that are particularly powerful and urgent should be among the top priorities.
Pick the top three items. For each, develop a strategy to address the concern; identify who in the group will do what by when.
In future meetings, return to the plans so that members can report on their actions and discussions can focus on progress or the need to address other issues on the list.
Periodically create time for members to reflect on what they are learning about the group's Reality and ways of responding to it.
Goal: Cause a group to consider how its internal behavior relates to what it is trying to accomplish in the world.
This exercise builds on the belief that change in the external world begins within the group.
Ask your group: What are we trying to make happen in the world? Build a list of answers. Don't be surprised by the range of responses. Ask people to elaborate on the items with examples that indicate that the desired change has been achieved.
Ask: How are we/could we, in our group, be the change that we want to see out there? Discuss how you currently represent the change internally as well as how you don't and might.
Based on the discussion, ask some of these additional questions: Is all of this really important? Does it matter that we are consistent with what we are pursuing in the world? What are the consequences of our group acting consistently—or not—with the change we are trying to create? What's the Impact on our group effectiveness? Our Purpose? On group members? On the world we are dealing with? Hear the array of views on these questions.
Return to the central question again—in B above—and ask whether, based on discussion, this question deserves any more attention. If it does, ask: What might we do internally that is consistent with the external change we hope to create? If the group reaches agreement about what it wants to do, make sure you do your part to assure appropriate follow-up.
In closing, ask members what they have learned from this exploration.