The Multi-Level Learning Coach 65
American Management Association
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The multi- level learning coach can intervene by helping people fo-
cus on how their behaviors might create a win- lose situation, or one in
which someone caves in for fear of asserting her needs. Ellen Raider,
Susan Coleman, and Janet Gerson (Raider et al., 2006) o er a simple yet
useful mnemonic tool, AEIOU, that helps to distinguish between produc-
tive and nonproductive behaviors in con ict situations. Each letter signi-
es the rst letter of a type of behavior that is typical in these situations.
Starting with the rst, attacking behaviors include threats, hostile words
or gestures, insults, defending, criticizing, interrupting, and asking judg-
mental questions, to name a few. These often lead to escalation of the
con ict rather than resolution. Evading behaviors are also unproductive,
and include changing the subject, withdrawing, postponing, or not ac-
knowledging the issues to begin with. Informing behaviors can be useful,
because they enable people to state their needs and justify their positions
with facts. Informing behaviors should be used to help others understand
the information being conveyed, enabling valid information to be shared
and mutually understood. The next two types of behaviors—opening
and uniting behaviors—are highly productive and generally lead to suc-
cessful collaboration. Opening behaviors enable people to uncover the
underlying needs of others. These include asking nonjudgmental ques-
tions about the other’s position, needs, or feelings; actively listening by
paraphrasing what was heard; and testing understanding and summariz-
ing without necessarily agreeing. Uniting behaviors are also important
because they not only bring people and perspectives together to set a tone
that enables the sharing of underlying needs in a way that’s suitable for all
involved, but also enable joint solutions to be developed and relationships
to continue in collaborative ways after resolution of the con ict. Uniting
behaviors include ritual sharing to build rapport, establishing common
ground, and reframing a problem to develop solutions that meet both
sides’ needs.
By keeping this simple mnemonic in mind, the multi- level learning
coach can intervene with teams to help them distinguish collaborative be-
haviors from those that more often than not lead to avoidance, blame, or
defensiveness and therefore leave problems unresolved, creating the op-
portunity for continuing frustration and poor performance.
We now turn to the fth and nal component of group process to be
discussed, boundary management.