Chapter 9
The Wealth of Relationships with Self and Others

Human connection makes us happy, so much so that we want to experience the extraordinary and the ordinary with others. In fact, our lives circulate around relationships; relating, not relating, and everything in between. We learn so much about ourselves, and others, through interpersonal relationships. Relationships consistently invite us to revisit, reimagine, and redefine who we are and what we value, by virtue of our interactions with other people, and vice versa. Further, the who and how of interacting in the digital world is progressing connection into new frontiers; relevancy now trumps proximity.

As the saying goes, “What we see in others is a reflection of ourselves.” Carl Jung famously shared that everyone is our mirror. Every single person in our life mirrors back to us parts of ourselves, allowing us to see the qualities within that we admire or dislike (by virtue of the relationships with others). Our inner reality reflects in our outer reality, relationships included. A friendly welcome to the fifth, and final, Principle of Invisible Wealth (P5).

The Relationship Between Our Relationship with Self, Others, and Wealth

The relationship with self and others is inherently interconnected because our relationship with self serves as the foundation from which all other relationships are built. A baseline relationship with self is always intact, although others help us to fortify or restructure our foundations, when needed. This baseline foundation is the initiation point from which all other relationships are built. As Esther Perel says, “relationships have the potential to shape our lives,” so it's preferable that each relationship starts and grows from a point of strength, as with anything else in life; the stronger the foundation, the better the build. Our relationships shape our work, our families, and our enjoyment, which is why they are so fundamentally important to the quality of our lives. Further, our relationships influence our wealth, and our wealth influences our relationships. We'll unpack this throughout the chapter.

What Is a Relationship with Self?

“One secures the gold of the spirit when he finds himself.”

—Claude M. Bristol

We all desire intimate, meaningful relationships with friends, family, and lovers, but the most intimate relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. The person you'll spend the most time with, talk the most with—is yourself. The question then becomes, what are you saying to yourself?

The Greek maxim “Know thyself” represents the philosophy of self‐knowledge or self‐knowing. Having an awareness of your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions shines light on the whys behind your decisions and actions—how you orient yourself in the world. This knowledge of self is critically important when you consider that your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, decisions, and actions all impact your wealth of money, investment, health, quality of life, knowledge, status, influence, time, energy, experiences and relationships with yourself and others. Therefore, any investment into knowing yourself better, is an unequivocal win. Progress toward physical (body), mental (mind), and emotional (heart) mastery is the key to unlocking your fuller potential.

This sounds great, but when and how do you cultivate self‐knowing? This awareness develops from both extraordinary and ordinary experiences (with yourself and others). For a start, extraordinary experiences stretch, awaken, and inspire you by revealing aspects of yourself that may otherwise remain dormant. This expands self‐knowing, into terrain otherwise unexplored. Ordinary experiences reflect your patterns, your standard way of being, which is also illuminating. All experiences and interactions with others provide insight into yourself, which is why engaging, listening, and learning from people is so valuable. Interpersonal relationships are vehicles for personal growth. It's great to be with others to share experiences and thoughts, although this should be balanced out by spending time alone. Moments of solitude allow time to reflect on these experiences and interactions. There's great value in spending time alone, providing yourself with the space to reflect, reexplore, refine, and even redefine aspects of self.

“He who knows others is clever; He who knows himself has discernment.”

—Lao Tsu

Spending time in a bubble bath while holding a glass of champagne might embody self‐love and reflection, but there are more ways than one. In 2015, The New York Times published an article titled “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.”1 This article is based on research by psychologist Arthur Aron, who presented a practical methodology for creating interpersonal closeness in his study.2 The New York Times article lays out 36 questions to ask someone, in order to foster interpersonal closeness and intimacy. These 36 questions are divvied up into three sets, with the first 12 questions being the least probing and the last 12 questions being the most probing. These questions are intended to unveil vulnerabilities and create closeness, between two people. But on reflection, these 36 questions can be quite powerful for creating closeness and intimacy with yourself. Here are three questions from this article, one question from each set:

  1. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  2. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
  3. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”

While all 36 questions within the article are geared toward asking someone else, you can easily modify the wording, to boomerang the question back onto yourself. The point in highlighting this popular study and article is to show that the way we build connection and intimacy with others can also be used to build connection and intimacy with self. Bottom‐line: one simple tool for (self) discovery is questions—good questions—and answering them, authentically. The journey of self‐inquiry remains throughout life, and your answers to questions may change and evolve over time.

Self‐inquiry is a powerful tool for self‐knowing, and building a strong intrapersonal relationship with yourself. Having a strong relationship with self benefits all other aspects of life—money and relationships with others included.

“Your own self‐realization is the greatest service you can render the world.”

—Sri Ramana Maharshi

Intuition

Self‐knowing is a great friend of intuition, and vice versa. Intuition is inner knowledge, or knowing, that is innate and that doesn't come from a place of cognition or thinking. Intuition isn't a byproduct of rationale or reasoning; it just simply is. Whereas self‐knowing relies on reflective thinking, and intuition. Some questions and decisions in life are best answered through intuition, while others may be best approached with a combination of self‐knowing (mind) and intuition (heart).

What Are Relationships with Others?

One of the most profound (collective) realizations during the pandemic, was the value of relationships with others. Lockdowns had us recognizing the significance of gathering and connecting, as we sat in solitude and reflected. Healthy human connection makes us happier, and connection is built through shared experiences and conversation. This we know. Relationships require relating. Connecting and relating with others is accessed through sharing attention, listening intently, finding points of commonality, and being authentic; essentially, the same tools for accessing connectivity with self. With time, energy, and intentionality, meaningful relationships emerge.

Your relationship with self, your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions, color the interactions you have with others. Your natural disposition is to interpret the world through the prism of your understanding of self, which is why having a healthy foundation/concept of self is so essential. Interpretation of self reflects back in the interpretation of others (their action and words). Your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, decisions, and actions shape the quality of your relationship with others.

The quality of your relationship with others determines the quality of your life. Many of us are now carving out more time to prioritize relationships, thereby redefining relational priorities. Along this same thread, the Jewish tradition of Shabbat supports exactly this. Shabbat is the Jewish day of rest, on the seventh day of each week—Saturday. The intention is rest and reprieve from work, and to spend time with family and friends. Friday night Shabbat dinners are a time to intentionally gather, connect, and bond, all the while leaving cell phones out of the experience.

I've had the pleasure of participating in many Shabbat dinners, despite not being Jewish. One experience, in particular, really stands out in my mind—as it relates to the wealth of relationships. Here's the story. During the summer of 2021, a group of friends and I rented a house in the Hamptons. The euphoria of a summer excursion together, on the heels of 2020, was such a breath of fresh air. Toward the end of our stay, a dear friend in New York City texted me suggesting I come into the city that night (a Friday night), to join a “special” Shabbat dinner. Operating on intuition alone, I decided to get myself on the bus and journey into the city for a dinner I knew nothing about. Logically, this decision didn't make sense, because I was already in such a special setup in the Hamptons. Nonetheless, I arrived at the host's home, and noticed familiar faces—friends, and another familiar face—Esther Perel. This was a very special Shabbat dinner. The Queen of Relationships herself, Esther Perel, facilitated vulnerable conversation during dinner, through a series of questions. We went around the table, Jeffersonian style, providing deep answers to deep questions. The connection, the bonding, the vulnerability between all guests was so deeply enriching. We sat around a dinner table, passing potatoes, and also passing reflections of self. The relationships developed during this special dinner experience remain near and dear to my heart, thereby adding to the quality of my life.

“People organize their brains with conversation. If they don't have anyone to tell their story to, they lose their minds.”

—Jordan Peterson

Relationships with others are built on shared values, experiences, and conversations. We discussed the significance of shared values and experiences, so let's now focus on conversation. Conversation is the interactive communication between two (or more) people, which builds a bridge between self and others. Conversations are an important form of socialization. Naturally, the types of conversations available between you and your children are different from those between you and your significant other. But the deeper you can go, within contextual reason, the better. The wonderful thing about real‐time conversation is its efficiency. This may sound cold at first blush, but what I mean by this is that the feedback loop is instant. In a Forbes Business Development Council article, I wrote, “There is no substitute for free‐flowing, real‐time conversation. It's both raw and efficient, which is paramount for building meaningful connections with others in our increasingly fast‐paced world.”3

Through free‐flowing conversation, we share and receive: time, energy, information, and knowledge. The benefit of which is real‐time building of connection (or perhaps the unraveling of connection—that's possible, too). The quality of connection is based on the quality of conversing, and, of course, the quality of the company you keep. Therefore, it's wise to select and keep supportive and inspiring people in your orbit; those who positively contribute to your evolution. Bear in mind that support, inspiration, and positive contribution doesn't always come in the form of smiley faces, but sometimes in the form of hard truths.

The other day, a friend referred to someone as an “expander,” and I thought that was really well put. An “expander” is someone who expands you: your vision, your aspirations, your knowledge, your confidence—whatever the case may be. Equally, it's important to positively contribute to those around you, expanding their lives for the better, too. Maybe this wears the cloak of mentorship. Or perhaps this folds into the principles of charity; in other words, generosity and helpfulness. Charity is the giving of both monetary or non‐monetary value; of both tangible and intangible support.

“The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.”

—Jim Carrey

Relationships and Technology

Technology gives conversations the optionality to move from the dinner table to digital text. These days, we're connecting with others based on relevancy versus (just) proximity, because of technological advancements and societal shifts. It used to be that people would interact with those within their neighborhood, perhaps those they bartered with. But technology expanded the reach of relationships, just as it did for economies. Technology enabled social decentralization with the introduction of the telephone, internet, email, cell phone, and text messages. These advancements led to the increased reach and frequency of communication, with those down the street and with those in faraway places. It used to be that community was based on proximity, whereas now community is based on relevancy, too.

As mentioned in Chapter 2, I remember receiving my first text message from then‐boyfriend, who wanted to share that he missed me (after I moved 1,300 miles away). The ability to share sentiments at any given time, peer‐to‐peer, regardless of geography, is quite profound. Along with emails and text messages came the electronic permanence of communication. This leads us to consider the permanence and gravity of words, particularly when allotted 160 characters per SMS text message, or 280 characters per Tweet. Both from the messenger and recipient's standpoint, the crafting and interpretation, respectively, of short form communication is becoming more frequent. Further, texting etiquette continues to evolve. Fold in emojis, and we now have more information on the sender's affect.4

Subjective interpretation will always exist in communication with others, whether over the dinner table or via digital text. We map our beliefs, thoughts, and emotions onto the interpretation of others’ communications, which is why relationship with self impacts relationships with others. This is also why masterful communication is such a value‐add, because it fosters trust and therefore healthy relationships. As Stephen M. R. Covey's book title suggests, relationships move “at the speed of trust.”5

“Associate with people who are likely to improve you.”

—Seneca

Here's another point to consider, speaking of subjectivity, relationships, and technology. People, regardless of age, now have access to the same information and tools (via technology) for personal‐development purposes. That said, each person has the power to cultivate self‐knowing and work knowledge, on their own accord, which might be sooner or later than standard. Young adults can explore topics outside of a high school or college curriculum. This supports deeper self‐knowing and specialization, sooner. Plus, the ability to share knowledge and interact with others across age groups has made relating across cohorts more commonplace. This has an impact on relating and dating. This also has an impact in the professional arena, where younger leaders are stepping into the shoes of seniority, and vice versa.

Relationship Capital™

I describe relationship capital™ as “an intangible, super‐asset that is foundational to all progress” in a New York Times article titled “For Elite? Yes. Ostentatious? Yes. But Also Effective.”6 Additionally, I describe relationship capital in another article as “an intangible asset that is built up over time, between two people when understanding and trust are present and growing.”7 Relationship capital is important for all types of relationships, both professional and personal. A wealth of relationship capital in business relationships can lead to better career opportunities, and in personal relationships can lead to people being there for you in good times and bad.

“Friends and good manners will carry you where money won't go.”

—Margaret Walker

Relationships and Money

Relationships and money—an interesting topic and one that can be approached from many different angles. Building on all that we've explored thus far, let's blend the following together: the millennial cohort, technology, dating, marriage, and money.

Chapter 2 detailed the tailwinds and the headwinds for millennials, for purposes of reimaging and redefining wealth. Using a generational classification was a helpful, analytic construct, which we'll use again here, to discuss the ways in which we are revisiting relationships and money. One millennial theme is delaying the traditional hallmarks of adulthood: getting married, purchasing a home, and/or having a child. To reiterate, more than half of millennials are not married, and those who are married, got married later in life (relative to generations prior).8 Fewer than half of millennials are homeowners.9 A little more than half of millennial women have given birth, and those who did, did so later on in life (relative to generations prior).10 These adulthood delays are largely a consequence of financial woes.

Technology

These adulthood delays suggest millennials are dating more during their lifetime (relative to generations prior)—powered by online dating. Dating apps, specifically, have become a staple in millennial dating.11 This makes absolute sense when you consider the fact that millennials are indeed, digital natives. Therefore, they are comfortable starting and building relationships online. Despite the absence of meta‐communication (body language, facial expressions, etc.), people are able to bond, even flirt, all via text. This illustrates the evolving sophistication of digital communication. It also helps that we no longer have to triple click a key, just to arrive at the letter C for example; we now have keyboards, with one key dedicated to each letter of the alphabet. Online dating etiquette is of interesting consideration for those looking for love. Now, eligible suitors are leading with digital, instead of dinner. And perhaps, even leading with relevancy, instead of proximity (especially given the nomadic lifestyles many millennials are adopting).

There's plenty of data available shedding both positive and negative light on dating apps. Despite varying opinions on dating apps, one thing is for sure: these apps are creating societal shifts, which also permeate into other areas of life, too. Just like any tool, it's how you use it that matters, and that power is in the hand of the user. The proliferation of dating apps was supercharged during the pandemic, for obvious reasons. Social distancing brought us closer to connecting digitally. Among dating app users, 71% said they logged in more during the pandemic.12 Those who were not open to online dating before, found themselves swiping left and right during the pandemic. Among US adults, 36% have used an online dating platform, which is up from 29% pre‐pandemic (2018).13

For the 64% of you who don't need, or want, to explore the world of online dating, here's some quick insight into how these applications work. Essentially, you upload pictures and information about yourself into your profile—basically, branding yourself with dating in mind. Some profiles are more authentic than others. The dating apps prompt you to offer personal information by asking you questions like what's your age, gender, location, and dating preferences. Some apps ask if you have/want kids, or how often you drink socially. Other questions/information relate to religious orientation or the type of relationship you're looking for. This information serves as a filter, for others searching for their perfect match (and vice versa). This means we're selecting soulmates based on micro‐bites of information and largely—pictures. In 2021, Tinder was the most downloaded dating app, followed by Bumble.14

Dating: The Paradox of Choice

As we know from experience, or as we can imagine, online dating creates the paradox of choice. In 2004, American psychologist Barry Schwartz popularized the concept of the paradox of choice, in his book: The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less.15 This concept represents the phenomenon that it becomes really difficult to decide and choose, when we are faced with so many options. This concept was initially applied to consumer choices: “The paradox of choice stipulates that while we might believe that being presented with multiple options actually makes it easier to choose one that we are happy with, and thus increases consumer satisfaction, having an abundance of options actually requires more effort to make a decision and can leave us feeling unsatisfied with our choice. When the number of choices increases, so does the difficulty of deciding which is best. Instead of increasing our freedom to have what we want, the paradox of choice suggests that having too many choices actually limits our freedom.”16

Have you ever logged into Netflix with the intention of watching a show or a movie, and ended up spending 30+ minutes just scrolling through the options only to find yourself closing out Netflix and going to bed instead? This is an example of choice overload, which is similar to information overload. Stressful. And unfulfilling.

Coming back to relationships, the paradox of choice holds true for dating, as well. In the search for the one, we're inundated with options of many. As it turns out, the fear of missing out applies to both experiences and dating; the fear that there may be another, better, romantic match on the other side of a few more (dating app) swipes.

High standards are important, especially when considering your life partner. As Esther Perel says, “when you pick a partner, you pick a story.” And this story happens to be the story of your life, which is not trivial. Therefore, dating should be approached with a healthy dash of reality (which is not easy for me to say, as a dreamy romantic). Dating experts suggest letting go of the fantasy of perfection, of the fairytale, and especially what you see on social media. Sometimes we become married to the (artificial) concept of relationships by virtue of what we see on Instagram, for example. Hashtag “couple goals.” These facades can warp our sense of reality. The bottom line is that despite the abundance of dating options available, unlocked by dating apps, we should really honor the process of dating from a lens of humanity, and perhaps humility.

We may also see the paradox of choice play out in friendships. Those looking to achieve more influence or status, for example, may optimize and maximize their options by choosing friends who will help them climb up the proverbial social ladder. Choose wisely—your friends but also your motives. After all, values and reputation are so important to your quality of life and the fabric of society. Relationships, like money, should be approached with the utmost care, to preserve and grow their value. Although, if you lose money, you can make it back. The same isn't necessarily true for relationships.

One final thought, as it relates to relationships and optionality. Some may optimize relationships for self‐interested reasons, eyeing the next rung on the social ladder, perhaps at the expense of others. While all relationships include exchange, transactional relationships feel more like a business deal, an approach typically reserved for commerce. A transactional relationship may even turn asymmetrical, where one person gets more than they give—continuously. Culture calls this a toxic relationship. On the other hand, we know that relating is required for relationships, and relating is often carried out through exchange—exchange of conversation, needs, and wants. Healthy relational exchange represents the energy exchange between two people and also preserving the integrity of that exchange. Satisfying relationships require fair exchange (not one‐sided, self‐oriented exchange),17 in which two people come together sharing a high‐minded goal. That said, I'd be remiss not to mention the fact that marriages used to be more transactional in nature than they are today.

Marriage and Money

The definition and history of marriage deserves a book of its own, along with how people are reimaging and redefining what marriage means within our current relational paradigm. But alas, for our conversation on the value of relationships, we'll take a flash look at the evolution of marriage over the centuries.

There's a relationship between marriage and money, a relationship that's evolved over time. During antiquity, a wife's family paid a dowry (aka money, property, etc.) to a husband's family at the time of marriage. This is a clear example of the relationship between money and marriage in ancient times.

Progressing past dowry, marriage was a way of forming strategic alliances, for purposes of diplomatic and economic ties.18 One person married another, forming an alliance between families, paving the way for a productive trading relationship. “This all changed with the differentiation of wealth.”19 As economies and wealth scaled, so did the interest in marrying into families of similar or greater wealth. Up until this point, marriage was largely transactional, because both parties (sides) had an understanding of what the other would get from the union. Consent by the two individuals marrying was of little concern or reflection; what was important, was the strategic and economical partnership formed. Marriage was really a family affair, meaning the benefits were for the family rather than for the individual specifically. However, the shift to individuation in marriage began when a monk planted the seed of consent to marriage in a canon law textbook in the year 1140.20

Gratin, a Benedictine monk, brought the element of consent into the marriage equation. Gratin asserted that each individual should give their verbal consent to consummate a marriage, which created a marital bond.21 These new rules, forming the foundation of marriage policies in the 12th century, were intended to address the changing social landscape of marriage.22 Marriage continued to change, evolving into a sacrament (a Catholic rite, deemed very important to the religion).23 Ultimately, the individual became the focus in marriage, making vows to one another, and deciding whether they would marry for strategic alliances, economics, and/or love. Lastly, an individual's promise can be broken, thus ushering in divorce. Divorce via legal process became available starting in 1858.24

In 2020, the title of a Wall Street Journal article read “U.S. Marriage Rate Plunges to Lowest Level on Record; Strained finances have Americans forming households without tying the knot.”25 This article title sums up a lot of what's going on with marriage and money these days. Strained finances are impacting millennials (as we know), and middle‐class Americans, which is a large reason why these demographics are delaying marriage. The societal importance of marriage is also strained, which may be a cause or effect for this cultural shift. Although, wealthy Americans, both in finance and in education, are still tying the knot, which supports the narrative that the institution of marriage is becoming more of a luxury.26 The median wealth of married millennials is four times more than that of couples who live together but aren't married.27 The relationship between marriage and money is alive and well, although now, people are delaying or denying marriage due to lack of money, rather than marrying for money.

History shows us the shift from marrying for the benefit of the family, to marrying for the benefit of the individual. Marital consent and personal vows led the way, as individuals took over the reins in their matrimonial decisions. In the years that followed, individualistic culture started strengthening. Individualistic cultures (versus collective cultures) are cultures that prioritize the needs of the individual over the needs of the group.28 This type of culture tends to emphasize the importance of personal achievement, success, and financial gain. Plus, layer in the increasing number of woman going to college and participating in the workforce, resulting in more men and women pursuing their own concept of self‐actualization, which often includes making money. And this makes absolute sense, because money is a necessity that affords us security, freedom, and choice (all of which are value‐adds in marriage).

Individuation may correlate to the delaying of marriage as people prioritize a combination of money, health, experiences, knowledge, status, and influence ahead of tying the knot.29 Said differently, people are perhaps not redefining the what, but rather the when, of marriage. There's a shift in viewing marriage as a capstone, versus a cornerstone or milestone in life. For some people this is a decision out of necessity, and for others a decision out of priority. Either way, the relationship between marriage and money still exists, yet for different reasons. This comes full circle, with P1, the Wealth of Money and Investment.

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What's essential is invisible to the eye.”

—Antoine de Saint‐Exupéry

Notes

  1. 1. Daniel Jones. “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.” New York Times, January 9, 2015. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html.
  2. 2. Arthur Aron et al. “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 23, no. 4 (1997): 363–377. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167297234003.
  3. 3. Wines, Jennifer. “Council Post: The Power of Voice in Business: Insights from Silicon Valley's Newest Voice‐Based Social Media App.” Forbes, December 14, 2020. https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesbusinessdevelopmentcouncil/2020/12/15/the-power-of-voice-in-business-insights-from-silicon-valleys-newest-voice-based-social-media-app/?sh=30f526bc453a.
  4. 4. Boutet, Isabelle, Megan LeBlanc, Justin A. Chamberland, and Charles A. Collin. “Emojis Influence Emotional Communication, Social Attributions, and Information Processing.” Computers in Human Behavior 119 (June 2021): 106722. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2021.106722.
  5. 5. Goeke, Niklas. “The Speed of Trust Summary.” Four Minute Books, February 10, 2016. https://fourminutebooks.com/the-speed-of-trust-summary/.
  6. 6. Kaufman, David. “For Elite? Yes. Ostentatious? Yes. But Also Effective.” New York Times, May 21, 2022. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/21/business/world-economic-forum-davos-accomplish.html.
  7. 7. Wines, “Council Post.”
  8. 8. Barroso, Amanda, Kim Parker, and Jesse Bennett. “As Millennials near 40, They're Approaching Family Life Differently Than Previous Generations.” Pew Research Center, May 27, 2020. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/05/27/as-millennials-near-40-theyre-approaching-family-life-differently-than-previous-generations/.
  9. 9. Cachero, Paulina, and Ella Ceron. “Why Aren't Millennials Buying Home? 4 Charts Explain.” Bloomberg, March 23, 2022. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-03-23/why-aren-t-millennials-buying-home-4-charts-explain#xj4y7vzkg.
  10. 10. Barroso, Parker, and Bennett. “As Millennials near 40.”
  11. 11. Meyers, Alyssa. “Spurred on by Covid‐19, Millennials Lead the Way in Destigmatizing Online Dating.” Morning Consult, February 11, 2021. https://morningconsult.com/2021/02/11/online-dating-stigma-amid-pandemic/.
  12. 12. Ibid.
  13. 13. Ibid.
  14. 14. Curry, David. “Dating App Revenue and Usage Statistics (2022).” Business of Apps, August 31, 2022. https://www.businessofapps.com/data/dating-app-market/˜:text=Tinder%20is%20the%20leader%20in,share%20every%20year%20since%202017.
  15. 15. Schwartz, Barry. The Paradox of Choice. The Decision Lab. Accessed September 22, 2022. https://thedecisionlab.com/reference-guide/economics/the-paradox-of-choice.
  16. 16. Ibid.
  17. 17. Nicholson, Jeremy. “What Jordan Peterson Gets Right about Relationships.” Psychology Today, September 24, 2021. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/202109/what-jordan-peterson-gets-right-about-relationships.
  18. 18. Everitt, Lauren. “Ten Key Moments in the History of Marriage.” BBC News, March 14, 2012. https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-17351133.
  19. 19. Ibid.
  20. 20. Ibid.
  21. 21. Ibid.
  22. 22. Ibid.
  23. 23. Merriam‐Webster Online, s.v. “sacrament.” Accessed September 23, 2022. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sacrament˜:text=Definition%20of%20sacrament,comparable%20to%20a%20Christian%20sacrament.
  24. 24. Everitt, “Ten Key Moments in the History of Marriage.”
  25. 25. Adamy, Janet. “U.S. Marriage Rate Plunges to Lowest Level on Record.” Wall Street Journal, April 29, 2020. https://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-marriage-rate-plunges-to-lowest-level-on-record-11588132860.
  26. 26. Ibid.
  27. 27. Ibid.
  28. 28. Cherry, Kendra. “How Do Individualistic Cultures Influence Behavior?” Verywell Mind, December 11, 2020. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-individualistic-cultures-2795273.
  29. 29. Forsberg, Edit. “Marriage and Individualism—Is There a Connection?” Stockholm University, 2020. https://www.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:1485242/FULLTEXT01.pdf.
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