Learning is an ongoing process, not a discrete event. Certainly, learning takes place in the moment and immediately in the wake of an experience. But even when an experience has reached a natural conclusion, memories and impressions remain and the ripple effects of that experience continue. Opportunities for learning never really end.

Gaining insights from experience can be challenging and requires some deliberate effort. Practices such as reflecting, seeking feedback, and embracing criticism take many of us out of our comfort zones, making these practices learning opportunities in and of themselves. Despite the discomfort they can provoke, they are essential to embedding critical lessons for eventual recall and application.

When we do engage in these purposeful acts of awareness-building, the lessons learned fall into three distinct categories, or what we call worlds.

• THE WORLD OF WORK

  (E.G., SKILLS AND PERSPECTIVES TO GET WORK DONE)

• THE WORLD OF PEOPLE

  (E.G., INTERPERSONAL AND SOCIAL SAVVY TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE)

• THE WORLD OF SELF

  (E.G., MANAGING ONE'S THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS, ACTIONS, AND ATTITUDES)

Some experiences yield more lessons than others, and the proportion that fall into the different categories varies. Some experiences are more challenging to learn from than others. Not because the lessons aren't there to be harvested but because of the negative emotions associated with the experience. These are collectively referred to as hardship experiences and fall into the specific categories of mistake, crisis, and career setback.

Hardships are different from the other categories of learning experiences (see Chapter 19 for a full list).

People who learn from hardships:

• RESIST BLAMING THE SITUATION OR OTHERS
• CAN STEP BACK FROM THE SITUATION TO GAIN PERSPECTIVE AND RECOGNIZE WHERE THEIR OWN MISTAKES AND SHORTCOMINGS CONTRIBUTED TO THE OUTCOME
• DEMONSTRATE RESILIENCE IN MOVING BEYOND THE PAIN OF THE HARDSHIP EXPERIENCE AND COMMITTING THEMSELVES TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE PERSONAL LIMITATIONS THEY HAD REALIZED

Because hardships force people to come face-to-face with themselves, they often experience a significant shift in their self-awareness and better appreciate what they can and can't do successfully. People often get a significant dose of humility that increases their compassion and sensitivity in dealing with others' mistakes. Finally, surviving the hardship and willing themselves to move forward provides added strength to tackle new challenges and face future failures.

Unlike other categories of learning experience, we seldom seek a hardship—hardships find us. But while a hardship experience can be beyond our control, we can control how we respond and how we perceive it (as a failure or as a learning opportunity, for example).

Before we go further, consider the ten behaviors listed below that typify a leader who excels at internalizing experience and identify the three you feel you are currently strongest in and the corresponding three that are most in need of development.

STRENGTH	NEED
	Seeks candid feedback on his or her performance.
	Responds effectively when given feedback.
	Takes criticism well.
	Embraces his or her past.
	Looks back on situations objectively.
	Reflects on and learns from a variety of experiences.
	Puts setbacks in perspective.
	Learns from mistakes.
	Bounces back from failure.
	Strives for greater self-awareness.

Take a moment to reflect on how your perceived strengths and corresponding development needs in this area have played out in the past and currently. As you progress through this chapter, keep in mind how you might augment or leverage these approaches.

Critical to the mindset of those who excel at internalizing is embracing every new experience as an opportunity for new learning and having a deep appreciation for all that experience has to offer them. This “all-in” commitment and intensity allow them to see the learning all the way through, just as Michael Jordan follows through on a jump shot to keep his aim true. To simply move on and let the experience fade would work against gaining the most learning and growth possible. Stopping to linger awhile on what was learned and revisiting and reexamining the experience help to cement the lessons that have already been recognized and to surface new insights. Here are some ways that the learner's commitment and follow through emerge.

MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES,
BUT DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE

Committed learners are comfortable with stumbling their way to success. They distance themselves from the emotional sting, but they keep the memory of their mistakes—and what they learned as a consequence—close at hand. Successfully navigating similar circumstances in the future helps strengthen the takeaways from the original experience.

KNOW THYSELF

Experiences, especially the most difficult ones, have as much impact on self-awareness as the specific knowledge and skills we acquire. Leaders committed to learning from experience value the humility it takes to learn, and they value the insights they gain from experience and integrate them with their existing strengths and limitations. It helps ground them and better prepares them for future challenges because they know what they are and aren't yet capable of doing.

NEVER STOP

Individuals who strive to internalize the lessons of their experience see themselves as continuous works in progress. They yearn to keep growing, to keep getting better. Their learning never ends. There's always something further they can explore and apply to the present, even if it means revisiting their personal past.

You aren't likely to gather the lessons of experience without pausing to consider just what it is the experience is teaching you. The business world favors action, but remaining mindful and reflective of your experiences will help you build habits from the lessons they offer.

COMMIT TIME TO REFLECT

Monitor your progress and learning. Our hectic, nonstop lives make reflection a difficult habit to form. Make it a part of your routine or put it on your calendar so you can make sure it happens. Record insights in a centralized place (e.g., in a journal or on your smartphone) so you can revisit them later.

REVISIT THE EXPERIENCE

Don't limit your reflection to just reviewing the outcomes—actually replay experiences in your head in as vivid detail as possible to incorporate not just what you did but how you felt as you did it. Also consider others' actions and reactions. As you re-immerse yourself in the experience, record and categorize your insights.

FIND AN “ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER”

Self-awareness and self-development require an ongoing commitment to a process that will often feel difficult. Just as you can benefit from a workout partner to increase your physical fitness, you may also benefit from a partner who is willing to support, guide, and walk with you on your learning path.

SEEK MEANINGFUL FEEDBACK

Go beyond “How did I do?” and “Give me some feedback.” Surface questions will get you surface responses. Ask people you trust to share specific observations about your behavior and how it affected them, and think about what you might do differently in the future.

EMBRACE CRITICISM

Don't frame criticism as right or wrong, good or bad, but as an opportunity for insight and a means to calibrate your future behavior. In order to encourage more feedback, let others know you got the message and appreciate their openness.

PUT SETBACKS IN PERSPECTIVE

Don't run away from mistakes and failures, but don't dwell on them either. Strive to get beyond the pain and disappointment and focus on what can be learned from the experience and applied to future circumstances. Occasionally look back and evaluate the progress you've made.

SEEK EXPERIENCES THAT WILL ENHANCE YOUR
SELF-AWARENESS AND CAPACITY TO LEARN

Different experiences yield different insights and lessons. CCL research has identified specific experiences that promote the development of self-awareness and “learning to learn”—see if you can engage in some of these awareness-enhancing experiences:

• TRADE RESPONSIBILITIES WITH A COLLEAGUE AND THEN SERVE AS EACH OTHER'S PEER COACH.
• WORK WITH COLLEAGUES TO REDESIGN A WORK PROCESS.
• ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE IN THE START-UP OF A NEW TEAM.
• TAKE OVER A PROJECT THAT IS IN TROUBLE.
• WORK ON IMPROVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH A DIFFICULT COLLEAGUE.
• WORK IN A SHORT-TERM ASSIGNMENT IN ANOTHER OFFICE/REGION/COUNTRY.
• TEACH A COURSE INSIDE OR OUTSIDE THE ORGANIZATION.
• LEAD A BENCHMARKING TEAM THAT VISITS AND LEARNS FROM OTHER ORGANIZATIONS.
• PARTICIPATE IN A JOB ROTATION PROGRAM.
• START A NEW GROUP, CLUB, OR TEAM.
• TAKE UP A NEW HOBBY.

Reflecting means seeing the whole situation—the negative and the positive in fair measure. Of course, it's in our nature to rewind our memory and see only what didn't go right. That indeed serves a purpose, but without a full appreciation of the situation and our role in it, opportunities for learning go untapped.

Focus on the positive and be grateful for the opportunity. Gratitude journaling is a practice that can help us more readily see the positive in situations and ourselves. Before you begin, take a moment to recognize the things in your life that you are always grateful for—loved ones, food, shelter. Set those aside as “givens” on your list.

Now, take a moment at the end of the day to pause for reflection. During that time, identify three things (work-related or otherwise) not on your givens list that you are particularly grateful for and why they made you feel that way.

Consider how that realization makes you see the day and its events in a different light. What else does it reveal?