CHAPTER 1

Explore the Roads

I vividly remember the night before my first day on the job in my first true leadership role. I spent most of the evening trying to convince myself that the knot in my stomach was a result of something I ate. In reality, my nerves were getting the best of me, and all night long I was on the verge of being sick.

I was a young professional, about 30, stepping into a new organization and up to a new level of responsibility. While my drive and ambition were in high gear, I knew there were many things I didn’t know about leadership and would have to learn quickly. Frankly, I didn’t know if I could do it. I had sold myself well in the interviews and desperately wanted the opportunity, but none of my previous jobs had adequately prepared me for a highly visible leadership role in a rapidly growing corporation.

Such is life, right? How many times can anyone honestly say he or she is prepared for the next big challenge in his or her career, or personal life, for that matter? When my husband and I were set to bring home our first child from the hospital, we had to call a nurse to teach us how to change a diaper. Sad but true: we were highly focused professionals who never had much exposure to the fine art of diaper changing, let alone full-blown parenthood. But that didn’t stop us from pursuing our desire to have children. We figured we’d take as many classes as we could and read every book available, but most of it we’d learn along the way. And when push came to shove, we could always call our parents for a crash course.

Regardless of where you are in your personal or professional life, the first thing you have to embrace if you want to lead with a destination philosophy and a journey perspective is a willingness to explore the roads—even if you feel unprepared, unqualified, and unsure. You prepare the best you can, but you have to willingly take that leap of faith and explore the adventures that await. I have read dozens of books on leadership and attended executive education at some of the world’s finest academic institutions, but there is no substitute for a learner’s mindset and roll-up-your-sleeves, on-the-job experience. That’s where most of it has happened, at least for me.

I’ve learned not to let a lack of knowledge or my fear of failure hold me back from taking that next step even, and especially, if it’s a big one. People can do more than they think they can if they have the fundamental knowledge, natural abilities, and learning attitude to figure it out as they go. Yet many leaders shrink from bigger opportunities because of their fears.

Has this happened to you? What kept you from taking that next step? Were you worried that everyone would find out you were a fraud? Did you see in hindsight how you were fully capable of leading at the next level but your fears made you your own worst enemy?

It’s frustrating, I know, and believe me, I have had this kind of head trash, too, and not just early in my career but at several points along the way. Don’t beat yourself up; instead, recognize what was holding you back and vow never to let that happen again. While you might have missed a chance to move your career forward, the good news is that it probably wasn’t your last opportunity to lead on a bigger scale. So get yourself ready to take advantage of the road that lies ahead, know that leadership is a learner’s game, and realize that those who are willing to be true explorers undoubtedly will make the most of life’s adventures.

The night before my first day on the job was filled with the mental (and physical) battle raging within that said, “You can’t do this job, because you never have before.” I was scared to fail, frightened that my colleagues would figure out I wasn’t smart enough or experienced enough (and I really wasn’t experienced enough). In reality, that didn’t matter. My boss had thoroughly vetted me, seen a lot of talent and drive in me, and knew I had a track record of accomplishments that told him, “She’s the one.”

As unsure as I felt inside, this was a road I knew I had to explore. So I jumped into the new opportunity as if it were the biggest thing that had happened to my career, and it was. I took over the public relations department at Embassy Suites, Inc., which was part of a rising publicly held corporation called the Promus Companies Incorporated, and experienced a good amount of success over the next several years. I moved through several different positions as the company evolved, and I launched a new marketing function for Embassy Suites, Hampton Inn, and Homewood Suites hotel brands that helped drive franchise growth for the years to come. It was one of my favorite gigs in my early career. Thank goodness I didn’t listen to my fears the night before I started that journey.

What I did do, though, was trust my instincts and experience, which told me to exercise a journey perspective by learning all I could about the organization, the people, the industry, the competition, the business objectives, the strategy, the challenges, my predecessor’s wins and mistakes. Then, and only then, could I work with my team to develop a plan that would impact the company for good.

I went on a listening tour, making appointments with key leaders to ask questions, gain their perspectives, and absorb anything else they would volunteer. I was especially careful to ask one particular question that I hoped would make all the difference: “What can I do for you?”

As you would expect, most of them were surprised and a bit skeptical that I didn’t walk in saying, “I’m going to teach you about public relations. Why aren’t you doing the right things already?” Instead I listened, learned, and sincerely wanted to help them succeed. I hoped they would believe, like I did, that we would all be more successful together if we helped each other.

Over time, they came to see my approach was inspired by a sincere spirit of reciprocity. Each one of them became a mentor or ally (or both). They were living, breathing road maps that helped me explore my new environment and move toward some important destinations. I was able to enlist their immediate help for what I needed most, which was information and lots of it, as well as support for our team’s strategy and action plan. They appreciated what we did to help them and help the company succeed. I was invited to participate in leadership activities and speak at company events hosted by different departments where my predecessor had never been. All simply because I made it clear from the get-go: “I’m here to help.”

After just a few months, my confidence grew. I realized that because of the professional experience I brought to the job and the information I was gathering through my listening tour, I could do a lot to help the company and champion opportunities for my team. More important, I had plenty of new friends who were willing to establish a mutually productive and supportive relationship that enabled us to make an impact. You can’t get much better than that.

I learned a lot of lessons from that first true leadership role—lessons that weren’t related to technical job skills. They were the qualities and attitudes that were shaping my individual leadership style and that would help me explore new roads for years to come. Here are a few worth remembering, regardless of where you are in your leadership journey, but especially if you’re considering an expansion of your responsibilities:

First, Accept That Fear Is Often a Natural Part of Stepping Up

It’s okay to be uncertain about your ability to succeed when what lies ahead is unknown. But recognize your anxiety for what it is, and don’t give it too much credence. Certainly don’t broadcast your anxieties to the world. What matters more is that you understand you have the assets you need to move forward with confidence: knowledge, expertise, skills, and natural abilities; these are things you’ve worked hard to acquire, and they say a lot about you. They are what you need to take on new responsibility, and as with what happened to me, they’re probably why you were picked for the job.

Once I was in my new position, I realized I had a lot to offer, as well as a lot to learn, and I understood the balance between the two. Anytime you step into leadership, it’s always going to be more challenging and more difficult than what you’ve been doing. It’s not a lateral move. Don’t be afraid to take on these challenges. Take comfort in the fact that you have talent and expertise, or else you wouldn’t have been given the opportunity. You also have a lot of core qualities that will serve you well once you’re in that role.

Second, Have a Learner’s Mindset

Nobody knows everything they need when they take on new roles and responsibilities. No one expects you to, either. In fact, if you pretend that you do, you’ll be sniffed out pretty quickly. It’s far better to walk in with a healthy dose of humility and an open mind so you can invite teaching and accelerate the learning curve. Others will help if they see you are sincere in learning and succeeding.

Once you begin to learn, I’m certain you’ll enjoy the experience, too, and appreciate the growth you see in yourself. I continued to learn immensely as I grew into my new corporate position, which was incredibly energizing. I began to see the direct connections among learning, applying, succeeding, and earning more opportunity. I knew enough to figure out what I could do in the short term, and I continued to learn fast enough to make a bigger impact over the long term as I became more knowledgeable, capable, and well connected. The secret was relying on the experience and instincts I brought to the table and complementing it with all that I was picking up as I moved forward. Being a quick learner will give you a running start. Being a lifelong learner will take you across the finish line.

Third, Establish Reciprocity

Make it clear from the beginning that you are there to help others as much as you would like help in return. This quality of leadership is so underrated and underused that you absolutely will be noticed and valued for demonstrating it consistently and sincerely. This has been the case for me. I have always determined to help others whenever I had the opportunity, and I’ve tried not to worry about what was in it for me. In reality, I have received tenfold in return for all I could possibly have done for others. This practice and proof have made me a believer in reciprocity, and I wouldn’t lead any other way.

I appreciate Adam Grant’s book Give and Take, which delves deeply into the subject of reciprocity. Studies have proven that those who are seen as genuinely interested in being a giver are far more successful than those who merely take from others, or even those who bargain for an even trade in return. Not surprisingly, leaders who are willing to be “otherish” as opposed to selfish in their pursuits have greater satisfaction in their work. They clearly see the impact of their giving efforts on others, and best of all, they are happier, according to Grant.

Another excellent read on this subject is Influence without Authority by Allan Cohen and David Bradford. It teaches that people are all more influential than they think because each person has something others value. By freely sharing things such as information, ideas, resources, and contacts, you have the foundation for a trusting relationship based on mutual benefit, not just on your own needs. You will undoubtedly benefit somewhere down the line. Reciprocity is established.

Fourth, Strive for Early Wins

Be willing to do whatever it takes to get up to speed and make a difference as quickly as you can. Early wins are key because people are forming initial impressions of you during the first few months on the job. Identify two or three things you can do to get some traction, and then build upon those.

Many years later in my career when I sold my company and had the opportunity to take on a global leadership role, a close friend and colleague recommended the book The First 90 Days by Michael Watkins, which lays out a series of strategies for successfully moving into a new position. I found it invaluable and a true field guide for leaders who are stepping up, because it helps you develop a game plan for early wins and setting a clear direction for future success.

The Called Leader

Most leaders fall into one of two categories: they are called leaders or they are accidental leaders. It’s helpful to know which you are, but either way you have to explore the roads if you want to grow and succeed.

While I’ve often faced fears when taking on new leadership responsibilities, I’ve never really doubted that I wanted to lead. In fact, I consider myself a “called” leader—someone who naturally and intuitively sees leadership as a part of his or her makeup and destiny.

I’ve been a take-charge person since I was a child, always looking to rally others around some cause or event. I organized Monopoly and four square tournaments in my neighborhood, led our high school German club, and cochaired the annual singing competition at my college alma mater, just to cite a few examples.

For some of us, leadership is in our DNA. We spend much of our careers preparing for, finding, and realizing leadership opportunities. It’s a passion and a calling. There are countless examples of natural born or called leaders:

•   Margaret Thatcher, whose strong will and decisive demeanor earned her the nickname “The Iron Lady,” rose through the political ranks to serve as prime minister of Great Britain for more than a decade. She was a political titan who positioned her nation as a powerful force to be reckoned with and a tireless warrior in the fight for what’s right.

•   Walt Disney is widely regarded as one of the most creative and passionate leaders in business. He devoted his life to bringing imagination to life for people worldwide through the Disney empire. His “be our guest” mentality helped him find unprecedented success as a leader.

•   Nelson Mandela was South Africa’s first black president, but he did not assume that role until after a life spent fighting apartheid in the streets of his home country and serving 27 years in prison. His legacy as a champion of equality and social justice earned him respect worldwide.

The Accidental Leader

The world is full of called leaders, but it’s also full of accidental leaders. You know, people who never intended to lead but seemingly fell into it because circumstances demanded it. For example, they inherited a leadership position through a family business or became a leader out of necessity through entrepreneurship. Sometimes others unexpectedly step out of leadership, and the organization desperately needs the most qualified person to step in, whether he or she wants to or not.

Countless accidental leaders have changed an industry, a nation, or even a single community in some significant way:

•   Crystal Lee Sutton was a textile worker in North Carolina who led the battle to establish a workers’ union in the 1970s. She famously stood on a table in the middle of the factory with a handwritten, one-word sign: “UNION.” Sutton’s story inspired the movie Norma Rae.

•   My mother, a retired microbiologist, taught for years at the university in my home town with a quiet dream of finding a way to interest young people in science. Together with a friend in the community who was equally passionate about the cause, they founded a regional Science Center. My mother was not a leader in the traditional sense, but she stepped into leadership to make a difference in her community.

•   April Anthony started her career in accounting in the early 1990s but was drawn to buy a failing home health care business when she was only 25. Although she had intended to become a stay-at-home mom, instead she turned the company around and sold it. Then she founded two others, another home health care company and a technology business, that grew to nearly $600 million in combined revenue by 2015. Despite her multiple successes as a CEO and entrepreneur, she is the first to say that she considers herself an accidental leader who “fell into leadership.”

None of these individuals sought leadership—and some even fought it. Each was given the opportunity to lead at a critical time, and each had to decide if he or she was willing to assume the role and responsibilities that came with it.

Taking Your Foot off the Brakes

Regardless of how we become leaders, finding the courage to explore the roads on that journey isn’t always easy. Sometimes our own negativity holds us back from fearlessly moving forward. If we’re honest, we recognize we aren’t as successful as we would like to be in our current situation, so we wonder how we can take on anything new. Or we have a private but nagging fear that we just aren’t cut out for leadership. Perhaps you’ve had one or more of these concerns. I’ve found that many of us shy away from a leadership challenge because we’re listening to a voice inside our head that sounds like this:

•   “It’s not me, it’s this place.” This reveals our eagerness to get somewhere, anywhere other than where we are now. We’re dying to shake off the dust of this place and move on to bigger and better things. When we get there, then we’ll take on the challenge of leadership. But don’t be fooled by the classic “grass is greener” mentality. We’ve all been guilty of feeling a bit victimized by various circumstances that have impeded our ability to lead at our best. While some of that thinking might be justified, most of it really isn’t. Everyone struggles, and it’s less about what has happened to you and more about what you’re doing in response to your situation.

•   “It’s not me, it’s everyone else.” We avoid leadership because we can’t find the right team to work with, we can’t connect with the right organization that appreciates us, and no one understands us. This mindset keeps us from learning how to work well with others and accommodate their needs rather than expecting them to accommodate ours. It also hints at an unhealthy tendency to avoid accountability for what’s not going right and identifying what we need to do to fix it.

•   “I’ve never been adequately trained or prepared for leadership.” If we’re unqualified to lead, how can we expect to do it well? With this excuse, we focus heavily on our mistakes and weaknesses. Much of leadership, however, is learned along the way, a lot of it by trial and error. As I’ve mentioned before, a learner’s mindset can make a world of difference in how we are perceived by others, as well as how quickly we can move through the learning curve.

Whether you’re called to leadership or come to it accidentally, you have to explore the new roads and accept the challenges it presents if you’re going to continue to grow. That means embracing change and moving into the next role no matter how big the stretch, even, and especially, if it makes your stomach turn all night.

Think about your current situation. Have you been holding yourself back from taking that next step? Perhaps you’ve decided to pitch a tent and stay right where you are. It’s not perfect, but at least it’s not unknown. While that might sound appealing, I can promise you’re going to be disappointed. Deciding to keep things as much the same as possible—or plateauing—is a waste of time and energy, and you’re only fooling yourself. Here’s why:

•   Where you are will change. You don’t know when or how, but it will and it’s very possible it will no longer be so beautiful. Organizations make changes all the time—stopping/starting new products and services, merging and acquiring other organizations, finding and losing key customers, moving offices, even closing their doors. Change is inevitable, and even more so in the rapidly evolving business climate we live and work in today.

•   Everyone around you will change. This is particularly true of your peers. They move on with their journey and develop as leaders. Because you’ve become comfortable and haven’t pushed yourself to grow, you’re no longer as qualified for new opportunities as they are. If you decide to leave your situation, you’re not nearly as competitive for the better leadership positions. You’ve been left behind, in some ways a little, in other ways a lot.

•   You will change. Growing and developing as a person is a natural process. In leadership, it’s essential. You must be committed to getting better every day, even though you won’t. But if you’re committed, you’ll keep trying and the results will come over time. There will be plenty of dips along the way, but your general trajectory must be up.

Let’s face it: you can’t stay where you are, because where you are won’t stay the same, and neither will you, really. Change happens whether you like it or not. Instead of resisting it, use that same energy to embrace change, face uncertainty, and continue moving forward because of it—or in spite of it.

I firmly believe the nature of life is to explore. The world is a far more magical place than we give it credit for, full of lots of possibilities if we are willing to get out there and discover them. Most of my leadership journey has been relatively unpredictable and filled with the potential for failure. Perhaps yours has, too. But I can also say it has been one of the most exciting and rewarding parts of my life.

The journey of leadership can and should be like this: an adventure borne out of hope and expectation, not fear and uncertainty. So don’t get too comfortable here. “There” awaits. All you have to do is start exploring the roads.

When a motorcycle sits idle for too long, the battery dies, the brake calipers seize up, and the carburetor fills with a varnishlike sludge. The bike isn’t worthless, but it’s certainly worth less than when it’s finely tuned. It has what bikers call “barn disease,” and this condition is just as likely to infect a leader who doesn’t explore the roads as it is a bike that sits for too long in the barn.

I want you to avoid barn disease. So I’m ending each chapter with a short review and some reflective questions that should help you apply what you’re learning. Use these to grow as a leader who looks through the turn—who makes the most of the road ahead and enjoys the journey.