STRATEGY

The only time to apologize for including a coworker on an email that's critical of them, is if you never intended to send the email at all. Including them on a critical email that you intended to send is actually more decent than not including them, since you're stabbing them in the front rather than the back. Apologize profusely in person and via email to everyone who received the unintended message. Keep reiterating it was an effort to vent that went wrong. Don't offer an explanation unless asked. The only response to accusations of insincerity is to repeat the apology; there's nothing else you can do. Accept criticism humbly and hope to put the discussion behind you as quickly as possible.

TACTICS

• Attitude: Be humble, sincere, and accept criticism. You can't turn back time so all you can is apologize, if need be, multiple times.
• Preparation: Send an email “recalling” the mistaken email as soon as you realize the mistake. Figure out what caused the mistake, but only offer the reason if you're asked for one.
• Timing: Do this as soon as possible. Don't wait overnight, even if means reaching out after work hours.
• Behavior: Do this in person, if possible. If you're not in the same office, reach out on the phone. Do not rely on email to solve this.

ADAPTATIONS

This script can be modified to:

• Apologizing for an overheard critical conversation.

KEY POINTS

• Do this as soon as possible, either in person or over the phone.
• Apologize, explain, and apologize again.
• Frame this as an effort to vent frustration that went wrong.
• Accept whatever criticism is offered.