How to Negotiate, Earn Extra Money, and Start Investing

In 2008, when my husband and I were just dating, we saved up our money from working and backpacked our way through Europe. We'd just left Florence, Italy, and he could barely get his giant backpack shut. There he was, pulling at the strings on the top of the bag trying to shove everything in so we could keep going to our next stop.

His overflowing backpack was my fault because he was helping to carry my things, the treasures I'd just purchased by haggling my way through the Florence markets. Those treasures, my friends, were shoes. Beautiful Italian boots kind of shoes. I bought them because I was able to negotiate with the vendors in the market, somehow making those handmade leather beauties mine on a college student's budget.

Look, I was not leaving that country without those boots, so there was no choice but to fill our packs with them as though we didn't have to drag them through several more train stations on our trip.

We laugh about it now because I was so determined and it was so long ago, when we didn't have a care in the world. Back then, I wasn't thinking about investing in the market, saving for my kids' college, or trying to remember to defrost the chicken for dinner. I was just a kid who was willing to negotiate for boots, and for the record, I still own them today.

I don't know where I learned to negotiate, but I do know it's something I've always enjoyed doing. Lots of people hate the confrontation aspect of negotiating, but I find quite a thrill in it. It's an exhilarating challenge for me, one that comes in handy as a business owner.

Apparently, I passed down my love of negotiation to my kids. Just the other day, my son lost his water bottle at school. I told him he'd have to pay me back for it, and he owed me $6. He immediately responded with, “What about if I gave you $5?” I said, “First of all, good negotiating. Second of all, no.”

Even if the thought of negotiating makes you queasy, honing that skill is a necessary step to building wealth. With negotiating, you can lower your bills and get paid more. Then, the next step is learning how to invest so the money you earn and save works hard for you through the power of compound interest.

In this chapter, I'm going to teach you how to lower your bills, earn more money, and invest in your future. But first, let's talk about why it's important to do all this. Here's the deal: I want you to become wealthy.

I'm curious what your reaction was when you read that last line because for some reason, our society has made the pursuit of money into something that's negative. Watch any kids' movie and you'll notice that a lot of the bad guys are depicted as having a lot of money. Villains are often business people or bankers. So, when you spend your life absorbing media that displays the wealthy as bad, you too might associate being wealthy with being a bad person.

Even if you didn't absorb that message from the media, maybe you learned something similar from your own parents. Did you ever hear one of your parents call someone zipping around in a nice car a jerk? Did you ever think your friends who lived in huge houses were stuck up?

If so, you might have a block when it comes to becoming wealthy. After all, if your brain has had a lifetime of messaging that pursuing money is bad, then either consciously or subconsciously you might self‐sabotage your ability to join the ranks of the wealthy.

So, let's talk about some reasons why it's beneficial to have more money. The three reasons that follow are my personal reasons for pursuing wealth and what I've taught thousands of other moms over the last couple of years through my business. Much as I like nice boots, making more money isn't about buying nice things. For me, it's about personal freedom, leaving a legacy, and becoming outrageously generous.


Personal freedom is the absolute top reason why I work so hard to save money, earn more, and invest. Personal freedom, to me, means I have complete control over my life. It means I am able to earn and save enough money that I don't have to work with people who don't treat me well.

It means that I get to decide how I spend each hour of my day. It means that my life is my own. Personal freedom is the reason I became an entrepreneur. Even though I experienced a lot of highs and lows when I became self‐employed, going all the way back to the grocery store incident I shared earlier, I never lost sight of why I set out on my own to begin with. I wanted to spend more time with my kids. I wanted to decide what I was going to do when I woke up and where I was going to go and when.

I was finally able to see the fruits of my labor when I went with my daughter's class on a kindergarten field trip. I sat next to her on the bus, and she spent the entire ride there beaming. She held my hand so tight, just squeezing it as she leaned into me. For the rest of the day, the fact that her mom came on the field trip was all she could talk about. In that moment, every single time I stayed up late to write was worth it. Every time someone was rude to me and called me cheap or obsessed with money was worth it. All the moments I said no or didn't buy something I wanted finally added up together to create the freedom to be with my child on a random weekday.

I want to be very clear; I don't pursue wealth so I can wear fancy clothes and impress strangers. I pursue it and properly manage the money I make for the freedom it brings. My daughter couldn't care less about what kind of car I drove to the school before I hopped on the bus. She just wanted me there, and the fact that I learned how to manage my money is what gave me the personal freedom to make it possible.

You don't have to be an entrepreneur to crave personal freedom or make it happen. My business is simply the method I took to create a flexible schedule and earn more. Personal freedom can be something you work toward as a family because you want to do things differently. That might mean cutting back on your spending now so you can retire early or learning how to invest to enable your family to reach financial success.

The more money you have, the more personal freedom you have. It's as simple as that. And the more personal freedom you have, the more you can invest your time in your family and helping others. I don't see anything wrong or evil about pursuing wealth. The first step is to believe you're capable and worthy of achieving it. I believe wholeheartedly that you are, but it has to be you who makes it happen.


The next reason I want to be wealthy is to leave a legacy. I don't want my kids to have to borrow money to go to college. If one of my kids wants to go to medical school like my husband, I don't want them to have six‐figure loans like he does. I don't want them to spend years paying loans back when they finally get a job they've worked hard for.

Part of what I teach my kids about money will also be my legacy. Teaching them how to budget, how to plan for emergencies, how to lower their bills, and how to negotiate is also my legacy. It's about establishing a family culture where money is not taboo. It's about one day having lots of little grandkids who say, “Because of Grandma Cat, all of us went to college debt free.”

My kids definitely soak up the money lessons. During the first week of first grade, their teacher asked them to put five things that represent them in a little bag so all the classmates could get to know each other. Well, in addition to a Star Wars book, a tennis ball, and a Lego, my son grabbed two pennies to put in his bag. When I asked him why he was bringing pennies, he said, “Because I love money!” That made me laugh, because clearly, I've made it so that money is not a taboo topic in my house. That said, sometimes my comfort with talking about money is a bit much for other people, especially when making a first impression. So although it made me chuckle, and I was proud, he decided to switch the pennies out for a Minecraft Lego sword and Minifigure.

Another favorite money story is the time my daughter bought herself a jean jacket when she was four years old. I rarely buy things for my kids unless it's their birthday or Christmas. We replace their clothes and shoes as they grow, but it's not often I'll buy something on a whim just for fashion's sake.

But, my daughter is super creative and loves clothes and accessories. After seeing her favorite babysitter and her ballet teacher both wear jean jackets in the same week, she decided she really wanted one too. She asked me for that jean jacket over and over again. I thought it would be a good opportunity for a money lesson, so I told her she could have it, but she had to earn the money herself.

I knew I wanted her to really work for it and not do some arbitrary task she should be doing anyway, like picking up her toys. So we agreed that, together, we would clean my car. If your car looks anything like my car, with goldfish all strewn about on the floor, then you understand why this was such a big task.

For two hours straight, we cleaned the car. Her little four‐year‐old self picked up trash, wiped down the insides, and used a handheld vacuum to pick up every crumb. She never complained because she was laser‐focused on earning that jean jacket. When we were all finished and bought the jacket, she was radiant with pride. She took such good care of it, and she made me so proud.

Some families pass down scarcity mindsets when it comes to money. They pass down thoughts about money generation after generation that make their family afraid to invest, afraid to want more. They talk about how rich people cheat to get there and paint a picture that everyone who is wealthy is bad.

And yes, some people are dishonest when it comes to money and many people get unfair advantages. But you as the adult and as the mom get to decide what story you want to tell your kids. You get to decide how your kids view money. Your words determine what they believe is possible financially. It's your choice whether to make money a part of their life education. Personally, I hope my children and grandchildren are far wealthier and more successful than I'll ever be because of the lessons I've passed down. After all, I save, invest, and negotiate not only to make my own life better, but to make the lives better for everyone who comes after me.


I don't feel guilty about the pursuit of money or my goal to create a better foundation for my family because extreme generosity is also in the top three reasons why I am pursuing wealth. I truly believe the more money we make, the more good we can do in the world.

Money is just an object that magnifies who you already are as a person. So, if you're naturally generous and kind, money will only enhance that. I believe so strongly in generosity that the final chapter in his book is all about the art and joy of giving. The great news is you don't have to give a lot in order to reap the benefits of being generous. You don't have to wait until there are tons of zeros after your name to start giving. Start right now with what you have, and you'll be surprised at the benefits that follow.

Now that we've established three solid reasons for pursuing wealth, we can move on to the three steps that can help you get there: reducing your bills, earning more, and investing.


A great way to practice negotiating is to start with your bills. Start with small things, like asking to lower your cable bill, because eventually, you'll be able to negotiate much bigger things. For example, once you get used to negotiating, you'll have no problem asking for a lower price on a car. Similarly, when buying a house, you won't feel bad asking the seller to fix things that come up in the inspection report.

One of my top tips for negotiating is to be nice. When most people think of negotiations, it might bring to mind heated discussions, which makes people nervous. But, I've had the most luck when I'm as nice as can be. Take, for example, my Internet company. Every single year they try to increase my monthly bill. And every year without fail, I call them up, sweet as can be, and ask them if they can keep my bill the same.

You have to put yourself in their shoes. In the case of my Internet company, most people who call in are probably irritated. I highly doubt that people call them and regularly ask them how their day was. So, I usually ask about them and then explain how loyal I want to be to their company. Then, I ask if that price is the absolute best they can do that day. They always try to sell me on more services, but I haven't had cable for the past decade. I only pay for high‐speed Internet every month (and streaming services, of course.) Once they realize I'm quite serious and I'm not going to get cable at all, they usually help me out. Last year I even negotiated $10 less per month than I was paying before.

If I called my Internet company and yelled at them or demanded that they give me the same price as before, they're going to be much less likely to help me. The same is true if your flight gets canceled or your server completely forgot to put in your order.

All anyone wants is to be treated with kindness and respect, so if you're going to ask for something, be nice. You're much more likely to get it.

When it comes to your bills, a good rule of thumb is to call up your service companies every three to six months and ask if you're currently getting the best prices. This should only take an hour or two in the afternoon and could save you hundreds of dollars a year.

When it comes to negotiating big purchases, like a house or a car, it's helpful to collect information before you try to get a better price. You want to give yourself the absolute best chance of getting what you want, but if you lowball too much, you risk losing out. So, do your research, understand the exact value of what you're trying to buy, and try to negotiate slightly less.

Also, when it comes to big purchases, it's helpful to keep your emotions in check when negotiating. If you get too swept up in wanting to “win” you run the risk of going in the opposite direction and paying more than something is worth. There are lots of houses and cars in the world. If you can't agree on a price you're comfortable with, then it's not meant for you. Knowing when to walk away is also an important aspect of negotiating.


Once you get used to negotiating and reducing your bills, shift your focus to earning more. The combination of spending less and earning more is a surefire way to help you reach your financial goals.

The first step to earning more money is to believe that you are worthy of it.

You have to want that raise and believe it's yours with the fire of a college student who wants Italian boots. You have to be so determined that you are capable of a higher income that no one can stop you.

I remember very early on in my business trying to negotiate my freelancer rates so I could earn more. I'd get that nervous feeling in my stomach, like you get just before you go down a roller coaster, waiting to hear a client's response. Whenever they agreed to a price I wanted, it would be such a thrill.

Over the past 10 years of being in business, I've learned quite a bit about negotiating my rates after working with hundreds of people and putting together contracts with a variety of individuals and organizations.

The only reason I knew what to charge for my services is because of other people who are in the same type of business that I am. This is counterintuitive to a lot of business advice. Many people will tell you that you have to be cutthroat and aggressive in order to get ahead. However, I've learned there's so much opportunity in the world. Because of that, helping someone else by talking openly about rates doesn't take away from anyone's success.

The only way I knew what to charge as a financial writer is because I spoke to other financial writers and asked them what they charged. The only way I knew how to charge for public speaking is because I talked to other professional speakers to ask them what they charged. The same is true for any brand deal, any business contract, and even the contract terms of the book you're holding right now.

I rely on the openness of my colleagues to tell me exactly how much money they make from their work and clients. Their comfort with money and their camaraderie with me as we work to build our businesses have enabled me to grow. I'll never forget being very early on in my business and going to a conference. There, I met another financial writer in person who I'd only known online before. We shared many of the same clients, and at the conference she told me, “Hey I just asked [Client X] to increase my rate to $75 an article, and you should too.”

There was nothing in it for her to give me that advice, but she did because she operates from a place of abundance. So, I went home from that conference and I asked for a raise from that client. Not only that, but I felt empowered to ask for a raise from every single one of my clients, and all of them said yes. That amounted to an increase of $1,000 a month for me in my business, which was a huge deal for me in the beginning. That same friend has sent me well into six figures of referrals and business over the past decade, and I've done the same for many other writers too.

This type of information is important, so always be willing to work with others, even if they're in the same field as you. If you work a 9‐to‐5 job, look at data surrounding your job title and pay in your area. When you do, you might find out someone with your job title at a similar‐sized company makes $5,000 or $10,000 more per year. Or, you might find that you're on the upper end of salary for your position in your geographic area, in which case kudos to you. But either way, it's never a bad idea to ask for more. After all, you're worth it.

So, if you're working a 9‐to‐5 job, start by having a discussion with your boss about ways you can earn more in the future. You don't have to go into a meeting, point out that someone else at a different company makes more, and demand they match it. Instead, be your wonderful self, express your interest in using your talents to continue to help the company grow, and ask their advice on what you can do to get to the next level. Make sure you get clear guidelines on what you can do to earn more. Then, set a meeting to discuss the results three months in the future and put it on the calendar. This gives your boss time to go over their numbers and gives you time to perform at your absolute best.

If your boss isn't willing to give you advice on next steps or you've felt undervalued in your job for a long time, it might be time to search for a new one. Sometimes, switching jobs is the best way to get a big jump in salary. Don't be afraid to ask for more than you think you should get.

Actually, the metric I use is that if you feel comfortable asking for a certain salary then you're not asking for enough. Negotiating, while it can be exhilarating, is anything but comfortable.

If you're going to speak to your boss about a possible raise, it should not be a cozy, comfortable conversation. You should be the most nervous you've ever been because you're going to go in there and ask for more than what you think you deserve. Usually, this number is about right, mostly because women underestimate their value.1 Seriously, ask for a number that makes your boss raise their eyebrows a little bit and makes them say something like, “Okay, I'll have to check and get back to you on that.”

Remember, big gains and huge leaps in progress don't come from comfort zones. In other words, it always takes some level of discomfort to experience growth. Staying at the same salary for years is comfortable. Not rocking the boat or staying quiet because you're worried that you're being too demanding is the easier route. But getting to the next level, that takes a little bit of guts. It takes the roller coaster feeling. I wish I could say I've always known this innately, but it's something I learned through trial and error and the help of others.

If you're not a business owner and you don't work a 9‐to‐5 job but you'd like to earn a little extra money, go for the side hustle. There are so many phenomenal moms who are crushing it with their side hustles, using the extra money they make to pay off debt, start their children's college account, and invest. The great thing about a side hustle is you don't have to commit to it long term. It's something you can do for a season to reach specific financial goals. Who knows; you might enjoy it so much that it might turn into a full‐time job. Even if it doesn't, it's something you can do time and time again when you need an extra financial boost.

Once you start becoming committed to the idea of earning more, there is another aspect of wealth building that's extremely important. It's not enough to just earn more money than you are currently earning. You also have to know what to do with that extra money. That's where investing comes in.


It's so tempting to upgrade as soon as you start to earn more. Once you get a bigger paycheck, it's easy to imagine everything you can buy with your newfound extra cash. That's why it's good to go into this journey of earning more money with a solid plan, and part of that plan should be investing.

By learning how to invest, and becoming fluent in that world, you can learn how to make your money make money. So even if your job right now is to raise humans, but you have a partner who brings home an income, you can play a valuable role in building your family wealth simply by becoming educated about investing.

Investing makes a lot of people very nervous, because they don't want to lose their hard‐earned money, and that's understandable. The way I got more comfortable with investing is by learning about the history of the stock market.

When you look back at the past 100 years of the stock market, you'll notice certain trends. The stock market tends to go in cycles. It goes up and then it goes down. But, over the past century, on average, the market has returned about 10%. If you adjust for inflation to be conservative, you can call it a 7% return on average.2

We will all live through stock market dips and corrections in our lifetime. Sometimes the market has a terrible decade. People usually lose money when they panic and pull their money out during a downturn. But if we can look back and rely on history, we can have comfort in knowing that after a dip usually comes a rise. That's what it means to be a long‐term, disciplined investor.

The easiest, most pain‐free way to invest is if you have an employer‐sponsored retirement plan. This is a benefit for many people working full‐time jobs. I say it's pain‐free because usually, you can set up your retirement contributions to automatically go out of your paycheck and into your retirement plan. You can also invest in retirement accounts outside of work‐sponsored plans in a Traditional IRA or a Roth IRA. Both these investment vehicles have different tax benefits and different income limits, so it's good to take the time and do your research before choosing which is best for your personal financial situation.

If your employer matches contributions up to a certain amount, it's smart to take advantage of that because you can reach your financial independence goals that much faster. Every time you get a raise, consider increasing the percentage of your paycheck you invest (vs. increasing the amount of money you spend on other wants). I also encourage you to do your research and really understand exactly what funds you're invested in at work. Take a look at the fees you're being charged and understand how much of your hard‐earned money you get to keep. Also, make sure you're actually invested in funds and that your money isn't just sitting in your account in cash. It usually takes an extra step to ensure you move your cash into an actual investment fund.

If you're self‐employed, you can still invest in a retirement account on your own, whether that's an IRA, a SEP‐IRA, or a Solo 401k.3 If you're a stay‐at‐home mom, married to someone who brings in an income, and you file your taxes jointly, consider opening a spousal IRA. That enables you to have a retirement account in your own name, even if you don't have earned income yourself.

Depending on what type of health insurance you have and your employment status, you also might be able to invest in something called an HSA (health savings account) or FSA (flexible spending account). Not everyone is eligible for these accounts, but they are worth researching to see if you are because of potential tax benefits and savings on healthcare costs.

If you want to invest outside of retirement accounts, you can open a brokerage account. This is an account you can use to purchase investments like stocks, bonds, mutual funds, index funds, and more. You can do this yourself, even without the help of a financial advisor. But, if you need guidance or help with choosing funds, you can always consult one.

If you work with a financial advisor, make sure they are a fiduciary. That means they're required by law to act in your best interest rather than recommend funds or products that make them the most money. Always ask how they get paid and what percentage of your money they earn from managing your investments. You can start by searching for one with the designation of CFP® (CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNERTM). They have to go through rigorous testing and years of experience before becoming one.

Even if you feel intimidated by the thought of asking personal financial questions, I want to encourage you to try anyway. According to research from Mintel in partnership with Ally, women are less likely than men to seek out answers to their personal finance questions. Additionally, their data showed women are more likely than men to believe the stock market is too risky for their investments.4 The pursuit of knowledge is so important and the only way to learn more about money is to continuously ask questions so you can get clarification on the things you don't understand.

If you want to invest on your own, without the help of an advisor, a simple way to start is by researching different types of investments. When you do, you'll likely come across terms I mentioned earlier such as stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and index funds. You might also read about ETFs, target‐date funds, and more.

I want to focus on index funds in this chapter, because it's a great place to start as a beginning investor. But first, here is a little background so it all makes sense. A stock is a piece of a company. When you buy a stock, you essentially own a little piece of Disney or Nike or whatever company you choose to invest in. When the companies do well, your stock becomes more valuable. When they don't, the value of the stock drops. A mutual fund is a collection of stocks. Instead of buying a piece of one company, you buy one mutual fund that's made up of several different companies, which spreads out the risk.

An index fund is a type of mutual fund that follows a particular index. An index is, essentially, a list of things. The index in the back of a book is a list of all the major topics in that book. The S&P 500 Index is a list of the largest 500 publicly traded companies in America.

These 500 companies are usually a good bet when it comes to long‐term investing because they've already proven their success. You're not investing in an up‐and‐coming company that your uncle said would be a good idea. You're investing in companies that have history and a proven track record.

I mean, when it comes to hiring a babysitter, wouldn't you want one who has a lot of experience watching kids? Wouldn't you be more inclined to hire them if someone else gave them a reference? I would. I'd rather one who has had years of experience. The same is true for the companies you invest in.

Index funds are actually the type of investment Warren Buffett and many other personal finance experts recommend for their low cost and simplicity. In fact, Warren Buffett made a million‐dollar bet with a hedge fund manager that investing in index funds would outperform the manager's portfolio over a 10‐year period. Buffett won.5

Index funds are cool because they are efficient and save you brain space. If you were to buy single stocks in all 500 of the biggest companies in America, that would be a lot of work and cost a lot of money. So instead, you can buy something called an S&P 500 Index fund. It's kind of like a ready‐made dinner kit, but the nice kind you can just stick in the oven, no chopping vegetables required. Instead of having to plan your meal and buy all the ingredients separately, you get the kit and have everything you need right there in a package. An index fund is similar to that. It's a package of stocks that mimics the index, something you only have to buy one of, but you get a lot of ingredients.

Theoretically, if the index it's following is doing well that day, your index fund should do well that day and vice versa. The other good thing about an index fund is that it comes already diversified since it's made up of a lot of different companies. Even if a big, well‐known company has a terrible month for one reason or another, it's likely that other companies within the fund are still doing well so it balances out the risk.

There are lots of different types of index funds. You can purchase a Total Stock Market Index fund that mimics the whole market or an International Index Fund or a Real Estate Index Fund. An S&P 500 Index Fund is just one example, but it's usually a common one for beginning investors and a good place to start your investing journey.

The last perk of index funds that I'll mention is that they have extremely low fees because they are not actively managed. That means they are set on autopilot to follow an index. You are not paying for a human advisor to make changes to the fund. You can buy index funds yourself through low‐cost brokerage firms. Some firms require you to have a minimum investment but that threshold to entry can be quite low, making them very accessible to new investors.

Keep in mind that there are no shortcuts or get rich schemes when it comes to investing. I'm encouraging you to research investing for the long term and to try to become educated about the process so you're not making investment decisions based on emotion.

Because I'm not a CFP® or financial advisor, I can't recommend specific funds. But, I can encourage you by saying that investing is not as intimidating as it seems. If you do anything when it comes to investing, I'd recommend reading as much as you can about the topic from as many authors as possible, preferably ones who have a knack for making investing language accessible.

It's also wise to consult an excellent accountant to see how investing affects your taxes. Be wary of taking investing advice from friends and family members who are not well versed in this topic. If an investment someone recommends sounds too good to be true, it probably is. There are many educated people who have been scammed by Ponzi schemes because they didn't ask enough questions or didn't follow their gut when they sensed something was wrong.

Choosing straightforward, conservative investments (like index funds) and buying them through well‐known low‐cost brokerage firms like Schwab, Fidelity, or Vanguard is usually a good way to start for a beginner. These are not the only low‐cost brokerage firms, but they are examples of some of the best‐known ones.

The combination of spending less, negotiating so you can earn more, and making investing part of your financial habits can turn you into a financial powerhouse. As you hone these skills and make them a part of your daily practice, pay attention to your mindset.

Notice anytime you get frustrated or any time you want to give up when your savings didn't go as planned or you didn't get what you negotiated for. Anytime you get nervous when you're trying to switch jobs or start a business, I want you to remind your own brain that wealth is possible and you are deserving of it.

If you're doing something no one else in your family has done before like start a business, make six figures, or learn how to invest at a young age, it's going to feel scary at first. But, make sure that you notice it and quickly shift to a feeling of abundance.

A lot of people subconsciously hold themselves back from earning more because they don't know what earning more will change. Will family members be jealous? Will friends treat me in the same way? How will my life be different if that happens? Sometimes people even self‐sabotage and don't fulfill their potential because they're worried about what's on the other side. They talk themselves out of it because they wonder how they will handle the taxes, the responsibilities, or the pressure of becoming someone who earns more.

All these things can happen consciously or subconsciously. What's important is to take the time to self‐reflect. Think back to your childhood. Think back to what you were taught about money and wealth. Try to understand how the money lessons you learned then impact your money decisions today. Decide what lessons you want to keep and decide what lessons you want to discard. Ultimately, only you can decide whether you want to be someone that leans in and increases your income.

Complacency will keep you exactly where you are. And, if you're reading this book I'm led to believe that you don't want to stay where you are. You're looking for a change. If you are looking for a push or inspiration to help you spark that change, this is it.

Most importantly, when you accept pay that is less than you deserve, you do yourself a disservice. Subconsciously, when you agree to pricing that is less than what you truly should charge, your brain will tell you things like, “See, you should have never asked for that high amount anyway. You were never going to get it.”

But, when you have the courage to walk away from the opportunities that don't match your expectations, you immediately open up the world to new possibilities. When you signal to the world, “Sorry, I'm not going to accept that. I want more for my talents,” the world usually aligns in your favor.

It's taken me so long to implement this rule in my business. Early on, I was so determined to grow that I would take whatever job I could, even if it wasn't for the pay I wanted. Gradually, I realized that saying no to lower‐paying clients created room for higher‐paying ones. It's scary at first to turn down work or to ask for more pay, but it's usually worth it.

Remember, a scarcity mindset when it comes to money means that you feel like you don't have enough. You feel like you need to hold on tight to your money. You feel like you need to take any opportunity there is to make money, even if it's something you don't want to do.

But, an abundance mindset means you believe that there is always more money to come. You always know you're going to earn more of it. You're not afraid to give it away. When you negotiate, you do so with confidence. You go into it with your full heart knowing that even if you don't get what you want, the opportunity simply was not meant for you.

Earning more, at its core, is about believing in your own self‐worth. It's having the confidence to ask for what you want because you believe that you've earned it. It means you can see yourself as someone who does have a high earning potential and a boss mindset.

But remember, in order to step into a boss mindset, you have to shed any preexisting money beliefs. For example, if you're always telling yourself internally that you're bad with money, then that will continue to be your reality. If you constantly chastise yourself, saying you're an overspender, then you will keep overspending. And, if you're always telling yourself that you're broke, then that will continue to be true.

Your brain is powerful, and its job is to protect you and to keep you safe. Your brain doesn't like it when you break the status quo or try to do something new because it's hardwired for protection. So, if your brain has always learned that being wealthy is equal to being evil, then your brain will do whatever it can to keep you from turning into that. Once you change your thoughts though, you can create a new reality.

Here are some great replacement thoughts to help you as you work to spend less, earn more, and invest in your future.

Old Thoughts New Thoughts
I really don't want to ask them to lower my bill. What do I have to lose if I ask them to lower my bill?
The client won't come up on price. The client is meant for someone else, not me.
I'm an impulse shopper. I am strong enough to learn how to control my impulses.
If I negotiate, they'll think I'm pushy. If I negotiate, they'll see how much I value my expertise.
Rich people are jerks. The more money I make, the more good I can do in the world.
I'm scared to invest. I'm willing to learn as much as I can about investing.
I'm scared to make a change. Change is the only way to spark growth.

Now that we've chatted about the importance of earning more and investing, I also want to emphasize the importance of protecting your family financially as well.


  1. 1.  Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, “The Confidence Gap,” The Atlantic, May 2014,
  2. 2.  James Royal, PhD, and Arielle O'Shea, “What Is the Average Stock Market Return?,” Nerdwallet, October 26, 2020,
  3. 3.  “Retirement Plans for Self‐Employed People,” IRS, November 2020,
  4. 4.  “Marketing Financial Services to Women—US—October 2018,” Mintel and Ally.
  5. 5.  David Carrig, “Warren Buffett Wins $1M Bet against Hedge Funds and Gives It to Girls' Charity,” USA Today, January 2, 2018,
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