Chapter 13
Perfect Phrases to Handle Performance and Behavior Problems
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Many managers avoid problems until they can’t anymore. Some wait until the performance review to address issues. Others even continue to ignore problems at the performance review. The best time for us to address a problem is when it begins.
Perfect Phrases for Real-Time Corrective Verbal Feedback
Here is some on-the-spot corrective feedback.
What you did breaks the rules about (dress, attendance, safety, etc.). Are you aware of that?
(Name), (action) is unacceptable because (reason).
Thanks for the report. Are you aware that it was due this morning? It throws us all behind when we get it late. Next time, please (get it in on time, give us a warning when you know it’s running late, ask for help getting the info you need for it, etc.).
Are you aware of the effect of what you just did? (Explain.)
Whether we like it or not, company policy states (policy). You have (action).
How do you interpret the policy about (item)? When you (behavior) it violates that policy.
Are you aware of the rules regarding (behavior)?
Is there any confusion about what the standards are?
The standards are (policy). What you did is (action). The impact is (result).
I’m looking forward to the performance review. I want to be able to give you a great one. For that to happen I need for you to . . .
Perhaps you intended that remark to be innocent. Let me tell you how it affected the team.
When you said (comment), I noticed the team cringe. Let’s look at how you can express yourself in a different way in the future.
You are usually very punctual, but lately this is slipping. What’s going on?
I’m concerned about how (behavior) causes your team to perceive you. I’m afraid it will interfere with your job.
We seem to be working at cross-purposes rather than together. What can we do to change that?
Perfect Phrases to Turn Informal Feedback into Verbal Warnings
The verbal warning is the first step of the disciplinary ladder. It can mark a shift in the relationship since we’re giving our employees notice of the consequences to their actions. That can move the interpersonal dynamic from collaborative to a parental or adversarial one if we’re not careful. It can show up in subtle ways such as moving from calling people “team members” to calling them “workers” or “staff.” Watch your language for distinctions.
If you intend your feedback to serve as a warning for the record, say so. Inform employees of their status and possible consequences of their actions, but do it in a gracefully assertive way, without being threatening. It’s a subtle but important distinction. Informing people is not the same as threatening them. These phrases help avoid sounding excessively heavy-handed.
I am making a note of this discussion.
I will note this as the first time we have discussed this.
To be fair to you, I need to let you know that this is a verbal warning.
I will document this conversation. That’s the first step in the disciplinary procedure. I hope we can solve this issue without any further steps down the road.
This is your first verbal warning. As you know from the handbook, you can receive (number of warnings) before termination is considered.
Perfect Phrases for Written Warnings and Counseling Sessions
Our next step on the disciplinary ladder is written warnings. We accompany written warnings with counseling sessions. Whatever we do in this process can have two audiences: the employee and a potential jury.
It’s tough to avoid sounding parental at this point because most of the language in the process is parental. Plus, frankly, many employees get to the disciplinary process by acting like children. It’s also difficult to avoid sounding heavy-handed because at this point we do need to use stronger words. A Perfect Phrase is as strong as it needs to be and no stronger. Assume an attitude of a supporter who is neutrally administering a procedure and wants to help the employee turn things around.
I need to talk to you about your work progress. Please meet me in my office at (time).
I’m worried about your continued (attendance problems, poor performance, demeanor with the team, etc.). It’s reached the point of requiring a written warning. I have it for you to review. You may file a response.
This is a written warning of poor performance and is part of the disciplinary process.
This constitutes a formal written warning to you regarding . . .
We will meet (day) at (time) to discuss this warning.
You have the right to write a response to this warning. If you do, I’ll attach it to the warning in your file.
The purpose of this warning is to inform you of performance issues and to provide the opportunity for improvement.
The details of the performance problem are . . .
You (behavior) (when). The standard you violated is . . .
The effect of this behavior is . . .
This violation is not unprecedented. On (date) you (behavior). In response I (action taken).
Your performance is expected to improve in the following ways.
Failure to improve will result in further disciplinary action up to and including termination.
If (behavior) happens again, the result will be . . .
Counseling Sessions That Accompany the Written Warning
This meeting is a step in the disciplinary process. The purpose of this meeting is to discuss the problem and focus on how to improve as well as to inform you of the consequences of continued violation.
We are having this conversation because I don’t want to fire you. I’ll fire you only if your actions give me no other choice.
Please read the reprimand here before we proceed. I’ll wait.
Do you understand the issues?
Do you really want this job?
Explain why you broke the rule.
What questions do you have about the document?
Do you want to draft a response? If so, please have it to me within two days.
We’ll get a lot out of this meeting if we work together toward solutions. I’d like this to be a beginning, not an ending.
You must meet your quota of (quota).
You are expected to (expectation).
Once this problem is corrected and performance is at acceptable levels for (time period), this action will be removed from your record.
I’d like to hear your impressions of the warning.
What do you see as the ideal outcome of this meeting?
What can you do to improve your performance?
I believe you know the policy, but I will explain it to make sure we both understand.
You were given verbal warnings and (result).
The policy says that in order to (protect safety, increase productivity, ensure the flow of communication, etc.) you need to . . .
I need to enforce this policy because . . .
What alternative do you think we have?
We want you to be part of the team, which is why we want to work with you on this.
I need someone to do your job, and I’m hoping it will be you.
Let’s start with facts. Then we can move into interpretation.
Please sign here to verify that we had this conversation.
Let me summarize what you said about the issue.
Let’s schedule a meeting in a month so we can talk about how things are progressing.
Perfect Phrases to Suspend an Employee
This meeting is for me to inform you that you will be suspended (when) until (when) because (behavior).
This suspension is (with, without) pay.
In review, we have given you verbal notice and a written warning with a counseling session. In those, you were informed that . . .
Normally we have a progressive policy of dealing with performance issues. This behavior is too egregious to allow that. I’m suspending you pending investigation.
Your performance plan was to (summarize plan). Your performance has not improved in the following ways (summarize discrepancy). If your performance does not improve after suspension, the next step is . . .
Your e-mail will be blocked and I need the keys returned as well as the company credit card.
This suspension is intended as an opportunity for you to decide if you really want to work here.
Perfect Phrases to Inform the Team About a Co-Worker on Suspension
(Name) has been suspended until (date).
Please do not contact (Name) regarding work-related matters. Until further notice, contact (Name).
Out of respect for (Name)’s privacy, that is all the information I can provide.
In order to cover (his, her) responsibilities we need to pull together.
I’ll need your help to keep things running smoothly.
You may be curious about the circumstances. However, legally and ethically I am not able to disclose any information.
Perfect Phrases to Receive a Complaint
We need to take complaints seriously to avoid legal trouble. Make it easy for individuals to file complaints without fear of reprisal. For routine issues, see “Perfect Phrases to Encourage Employees to Resolve Conflict,” in Chapter 5. For serious issues, use the phrases presented here.
I am glad you brought this to my attention.
I appreciate your coming forward.
I need to find out what is going on, and anything you can tell me will be helpful.
Everything you say will be kept confidential.
If you get any sense of retaliation, please let me know.
I take your complaint seriously and I will conduct an investigation.
What happened? Who was involved? How did you react? When and where did this happen?
Did anyone else witness it? Did you speak to anyone else about it?
Do you know anyone else who might know anything about the incident?
Do you know of any other similar incidents?
What evidence is there?
If anything at all comes to mind later, please let me know.
Of what you have told me, what do you feel needs to be confidential?
Perfect Phrases to Inform an Employee of a Complaint
I have received the following complaint about your behavior from (team member, customer, etc.).
I’m waiting to draw conclusions until I have the facts and a bigger picture of what happened.
I’ve heard one side of the story. Tell me yours.
How would you describe what happened? When? Where? Tell me what you did and when.
How often has this happened? When did it first happen?
Who else was involved?
How do you feel about my investigating this?
I need to investigate to discover what happened. I will be talking to other people about this. Is there someone you think I should talk to?
What is your response to the complaint?
Can you think of a reason why the accuser would lie?
Could the employee who complained have misunderstood your actions and intentions?
How harmonious has your relationship with the complaining employee been? (Do not use this if the name of the complaining employee is kept private.)
Did anyone see it happen?
Did you tell anyone about the incident?
Do you know of anyone who might have information about it?
Do you know about any evidence of the incident?
I will be interviewing witnesses before I conclude. I will keep this confidential and trust you to do the same.
Because of the severity of the complaint I will be suspending you (with, without) pay until I have completed my investigation.
We are conducting an investigation of the complaint and we will file a report once we have completed the investigation.
You may review the report before we determine what action to take.
Because of the seriousness of the complaint we will transfer one of you until we can determine what happened.
Perfect Phrases to Investigate a Complaint by Interviewing Witnesses
When we investigate complaints, open-ended questions elicit as much information as possible. If we play dumb, we avoid influencing the responses.
You have been identified as a witness for something that happened.
I need to talk with you about something you may have seen or heard.
What did you see or hear? When and where did this take place? Did you tell anyone about it?
Did (the employee who complained) say anything about what happened?
Did (the accused employee) say anything about the incident?
Have you witnessed other incidents between (the employee who complained) and (the accused employee)?
Have you heard these issues discussed in the workplace? When, and by whom?
Have you ever had problems with (the employee who complained) or (the accused employee)?
Did you and the (complaining, accused) employee discuss (the area of work the complaint is about, for example, invoices, weapons, taking equipment home)?
Did you hear (the accused employee) and (the employee who complained) talking last week? What did you hear?
Was (the accused employee) at the meeting last week? Did anything unusual happen?
Did you see an incident between (the accused employee) and (the employee who complained) last week?
What have you heard that leads you to that conclusion?
Whom have you discussed this with and what did they say?
Was anyone else there when that happened?
Do you have any documentation or evidence?
Did anyone else receive documentation?
I’ve heard differently. Do you think the allegations I have heard are invented? Why?
Why do you think others remember it differently?
I expect this discussion to be kept confidential.