Chapter 18
Perfect Phrases to Communicate Up the Ladder
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Most managers have managers of their own. This chapter helps us stay in sync with our managers, disagree with our managers, support our staff with our managers, keep our managers informed, and present new ideas.
Perfect Phrases to Stay in Sync with Your Manager
Are you satisfied with what I’ve accomplished so far?
How would you like for me to update you?
Did this conversation go the way you hoped it would?
It’s hard to forecast how I’m doing as we approach my review. Is there anything I can do to meet your requirements?
If you’d copy me on e-mails to (Name), it will help me stay in sync with you.
I’d like to be included in meetings with (Names) so I have a deeper understanding of the decisions you make. Is that an option?
I’d like to meet with you daily, if only for two minutes to have a check-in to align ourselves with each other. Can we arrange that?
Perfect Phrases to Disagree with Your Manager
There are times when we feel so strongly about a management decision we are compelled to speak out. How do we stand up for what we believe without performing career suicide?
These Perfect Phrases to disagree with our managers do carry risk. No matter how tactful we are, we could get labeled a troublemaker or worse. As in any situation, weigh the pros and cons before disagreeing. However, know that the greater the risk, the more you stand to gain. The strongest managers do what they believe is right, even when there is a risk involved. Here are some phrases to help.
I am uncomfortable with this based on our mission statement and company values. I’d like to consider other options.
While I’m sure you considered mission and vision when this decision was made, it strikes me as inconsistent with our company commitment. How are they integrated?
I have always been proud to say that my company follows its mission and adheres to its values. I have some serious concerns about what we’re doing now. Do you see this as in line with our mission and values?
I feel strongly about this. I love this company and have always seen it as fair and ethical. I don’t think this fits our usual standards.
I need to resolve something to be able to do this in good conscience. Is what we’re doing in line with our company values and ethics?
Help me understand how you reached that conclusion.
I wonder if we have the same information. My information leads me to a different conclusion.
I want to give my best here. I can support you better if we can resolve these differences first.
I want to be clear here. I am sincerely concerned about the direction we’re heading.
I am a team player, I enjoy my job, and I intend to stay here. However, I think we should reconsider this decision because (risks).
I have a problem with this. I believe this is a flawed initiative for reasons I would be happy to outline. What are my options?
I can see the short-term advantage of this decision. Let me outline the long-term concerns I have.
I am concerned that if we continue on this path we could all end up in legal trouble.
Perfect Phrases to Warn Your Manager of Developing Problems
Since we have a different relationship with the workforce culture than our own managers do, we might know implications of decisions that he or she might miss. Here’s how we talk about those implications.
There are some things I need to tell you about the ground reality that is affecting implementation of our strategy.
I don’t want you to be blindsided, so I have a heads-up about trends I see.
There is a buzz in the grapevine I need to discuss with you.
I think you need to have a sense of what people are saying about (project, decision, etc.).
This initiative isn’t playing out the way upper management thinks it is.
Things look different on the ground than they do from a distance. Here’s what I think you should know.
I’ve been monitoring social media for the buzz about our change initiative and there are some things I need to bring to your attention.
Perfect Phrases to Focus Priorities and Decline a Manager’s Request
Sometimes we need to say no when our managers ask for things. These phrases help us do that in ways that don’t come across as uncooperative.
I understand this is important. I’m working on (project). Is this new project more important?
What would you like me to set aside that I’m working on now to do this assignment?
I’m flattered that you asked me. I’m not the best person for the job because (reason).
Doing this now means I won’t get (project) done by the deadline. Is that acceptable?
Ordinarily I would say yes immediately. I’m on vacation next week and don’t know that I can complete the project by then. Do you want me to start it anyway?
I want to say yes. Right now I’m working on three projects for other people. Could you check with them to make sure it’s appropriate to put their work aside to complete this for you?
I would like to do it. I’m pretty swamped right now. Will you help me prioritize my other projects so we can see where this fits?
With everything I have on my schedule, I can’t give this project the attention it deserves. Is there someone else who can take over?
Perfect Phrases to Handle a Difficult Manager
Difficult supervisors range from micromanagers to managers who never give credit to directors whose aggressive tendencies are downright offensive. While it is risky to challenge a difficult manager, many people find that standing up to a manager is not only possible but necessary.
Perfect Phrases to Manage a Micromanager
If our managers seem overly involved in the details of our work, it might indicate a lack of trust, or it could be intended as support. Use Perfect Phrases to address the issue.
I appreciate your attention to detail because I am also very detail-oriented. Are you uncomfortable letting me do this myself?
When you change small words in my letters, I feel you don’t trust me to do my job. How can I win your trust to work with more autonomy?
I respect your need to be updated on how the project is progressing. If I give you a (daily, weekly, monthly) update, I believe that will give you the information you need and eliminate interruptions throughout the day. Would that work for you?
I am accustomed to working autonomously. While I appreciate your support, I think it would be a better use of both of our time if we move me toward autonomy in a way that is comfortable for you. Do you have suggestions on how we can do that?
I’d like to define my work more by outcome than by steps. Would that work for you?
I like to function independently. If we could schedule check-in meetings, it would help us both be more productive. Are you open to that?
Perfect Phrases to Manage a Distrustful Supervisor
If there is an underlying sense of distrust from a manager, it usually helps to address it directly and resolve it if possible.
I believe part of my job is to help you look good. Do you trust me to do that?
I want you to be confident that I’m doing my job. What can I do to gain that confidence?
I think we both have the same goals. We just have different ways of going about achieving them. Can we talk about our common goals?
Are you concerned that I’ll make mistakes?
Are you concerned that I want your job?
We seem to be working at cross-purposes rather than together. What can I do to help change that?
Perfect Phrases to Manage an Angry Manager
Sometimes it’s best for us to deflect our own manager’s anger. However, if our manager’s behavior slips into bullying, we probably need to stand up to him or her. Here are phrases for both.
Let’s take an objective look at the data and see if we can come up with some answers.
I want to do the best job I can and to have the best relationship with you possible. I am embarrassed when my errors are brought up in public. When I make errors in the future, let’s discuss them in private.
I would be very happy to discuss this with you in private.
I heard you say that (accusation). Did I hear you correctly?
I can get your point without (sarcasm, yelling, etc.).
That is a serious allegation. I would like the facts that led you to that conclusion.
Exactly what do I say or do that leads you to believe that I (accusation)?
I will be happy to discuss this when we both are calm.
I am a professional and I expect to be treated as one.
I react better to requests than criticism. What are you asking me?
I’d like to arrange a meeting with a third person so we can discuss your perceptions and figure out how we can be comfortable working together.
Perfect Phrases for Going Above Your Manager’s Head
There are times to go above our manager’s head. Unless we sense danger, protocol suggests we request permission or at the least inform our managers of our intentions.
Would you be OK with my bringing this up with your manager?
If we can’t resolve this ourselves, I intend to take it to your manager. My hope is that we can work it through without that.
We are at an impasse on this. It is important enough to me that I intend to bring it to the attention of your manager. Do you want to go with me or do you prefer that I do it alone?
I want to go on record as being opposed to this decision. I intend to do that by sending a letter to your manager. I am telling you so you won’t be blindsided.
As you know, I am entitled to file a grievance on this issue. I prefer not to, but if it continues, I intend to do that.
I would be happy to discuss this before a review board or mediating organization for unfair employment practices.
Perfect Phrases to Bring Ideas to Your Manager
Sometimes it’s hard for us to get our own manager’s attention when we want to share an idea. Other times we can get his or her attention, but we risk the manager taking credit for our ideas. You may not mind giving up credit, but if you do, there are ways to phrase your idea that will decrease the likelihood of that happening. Here are your phrases for sharing ideas.
I have an idea that is different from what we have been doing. I’d like you to consider how it might work before you consider the reasons why it won’t.
I have an idea I ran past three other managers, and they all suggest I bring it to you. When can we meet to discuss it?
Something you said the other day got me thinking . . .
I’d like your opinion about what I did with some concepts you and I discussed last month.
I have been considering how to increase my department’s bottom line, and I have come up with a way to do it.
Are you open to a suggestion?
Perfect Phrases to Break Bad News to Your Manager
I just made what might be a career-limiting move.
I have bad news and good news. The good news is that I have a plan of action to deal with the bad news, which is . . .
I need to tell you about an error that I am responsible for and will correct.
If wisdom comes from mistakes, I just gained a huge amount of wisdom.
I made a miscalculation that I need to tell you about. Please remember my overall performance and years of improved service when I tell you what happened.
Perfect Phrases to Support Your Staff When You Report to Your Manager
Our effectiveness depends on our ability to balance our responsibility to our team with our responsibility to upper levels and to maintain the trust and confidence of both. Some managers are so eager to please upper levels they promise unreasonable outcomes that compromise the people they supervise. Some managers take credit for employee ideas. Some managers are loyal to employees to a point that keeps them from being responsive to the needs of the organization. Our managers and our employees need to know they can count on us. When we talk to our managers, these Perfect Phrases help us to support our team.
Perfect Phrases to Protect Your Team from Unrealistic Expectations from Your Manager
Let me check with my staff to see when they can have it done. I will get back with you by noon today with a realistic deadline.
The team is working very hard to meet the existing standards. It would extend them unrealistically to add this initiative.
I appreciate the objective of these new measures. I believed they were unrealistic and put an unreasonable burden on the staff, so I did research to determine standard output of a department like ours. What I found is that we are already at a work level that is higher than average.
I would rather underpromise and overdeliver. We can have it done by (date).
I know we have worked miracles for you many times in the past. But we can’t continuously work under that kind of pressure. A realistic turnaround time is (time).
If you are committed to this initiative, we will give it our best. I need to warn you of the risks involved by adding this to our current workload.
Perfect Phrases to Protect Your Team from an Inadvisable Layoff
I believe laying off (Name) would be a mistake because . . .
I appreciate the need to cut costs. I believe laying off (Name) would actually add to the cost because (reason).
If we need to cut costs, instead of laying off (Name) could we (suggestion) instead?
Perfect Phrases to Represent Your Team with Your Manager When Expectations Are Not Met
I know this didn’t turn out the way we projected. I have a great team. I will talk to them and find out what happened.
My team is my responsibility. It is not their failure; it is mine. I will get back to you by the end of the week with what went wrong.
I’d like to remind you of our great track record when we talk about how we fell short this time.
My team has been working with the handicap of (limitation). If I believed we fell short of expectations here because of our own failings, I would tell you so. In this case, I think the issue is with the expectations, not with the team.
Perfect Phrases to Give Due Credit to Your Team When Speaking to Your Manager
When we give our staff or team due credit for successes, we get loyalty and hard work in return.
Thanks for the compliment. I’d love to take the credit, but I can’t. My team deserves the praise.
Thanks for the pat on the back, but I didn’t do it alone. My team did the work. I’ll pass along your compliments.
We really pulled together on this.
Thanks. This couldn’t have happened without (Name) doing (action) and (Other Name) doing (action).