INDEX

accountability, 29, 94–96

achievement

Commanders and, 112–113

Pleasers and, 39

Ackerman, Nathan, 4

adaptability, 105, 116

Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome (Baker), 74

aggression, Pleasers and, 53–57. See also conflict

all-or-nothing thinking, 106

All Rivers Run to the Sea (Wiesel), 26

altruism

in Inspirers, 136, 138–139

in Pleasers, 37–38

Angelou, Maya, 98

anxiety, in Pleasers, 33–34, 37, 48

Apple, 143

approval seeking, 6

Charmers and, 73, 85

by Pleasers, 11–12, 33–34, 37–39, 48, 49–50

assertiveness, of Pleasers, 32–33

AT&T, 143

attention seeking, 20–21

attitude, 182–183

The Authentic Career (Craddock), 3, 10, 174

authority

Charmers and, 66–68, 73–75, 94, 97–98

childhood responses to, 3–4

Commanders and, 102–103, 130–133

Inspirers and, 137–138, 145–146

parents and, 5

Pleasers with, 48–53

backlash

emotional, 174

organizational, 167–168

Baker, Amy, 74

balance, 6

for Inspirers, 144

Inspirers and, 171

Bateson, Gregory, 4

behavioral styles, Power Grid, 9–11

Bertalanffy, Ludwig von, 4

Boesky, Ivan, 63, 68–69

bosses

Charmers as, 84–89

Commanders as, 104, 119, 120–125

Inspirers as, 142–143, 158–162

Inspirer subordinates and, 166–170

Pleasers as, 48–53

Pleaser subordinates and, 57–61

upstaging, 168

brainstorming, 121, 167

Branson, Richard, 135

bureaucracy, 142–143

burnout, 144

Campbell, Joseph, 135

career tracks, 15–16, 198–199. See also transitions

case studies on, 18–19

of Charmers, 75–77

of Commanders, 102, 129

of Inspirers, 148–150, 168–169

of Pleasers, 26, 31–32, 38–41, 47–48

Carter, Jimmy, 13, 138, 141

change

blind spots as impediments to, 174–176

Charmers as agents of, 66–68, 81, 89

Inspirers and, 158

quick fixes and, 188–189

charisma, 136–137

Charmers, 12, 63–99

blind spots of, 68–73, 175, 186

as bosses, 84–89

case studies on, 77–81, 86–89, 92–94, 96–98

as change agents, 66–68

Commanders and, 127–129

emotions as weakness and, 49, 71–73

family background of, 73–75

hidden agendas of, 86–87

influence of, 64–65

Inspirers and, 136, 152–154, 162

in interviews, 41, 76–77

isolation of, 71, 73, 85, 86–89

manipulation by, 83

as negotiators, 30

as peers, 89–94

Pleasers as bosses of, 50–53

prevalence of, 63–64

problem solving by, 66

results by, 65–66, 68–69, 83–84

self-reflection by, 109

strengths of, 64–68

as subordinates, 94–98

transitions and, 41, 75–77

work ethic of, 69–71

childhood. See family systems

Churchill, Winston, 119

collaboration

Charmers and, 92–94

Commanders and, 115–116, 125

comfort zones, 193–194

Commanders, 12–13, 101–134

adaptability of, 105

authority and, 67

blind spots of, 106–110, 175, 186–187

Charmer peers of, 91, 92–94

emotions as weakness and, 49

family system of, 39

impatience of, 108–109

Inspirer bosses of, 161–162

Inspirers and, 162, 167

Inspirers compared with, 139–140, 146

intolerance and insensitivity in, 107–108

leadership by, 104

Pleaser subordinates and, 59–61

prevalence of, 101

resilience of, 104–105

self-confidence of, 105–106

strengths of, 102–106

system versus individuals and, 106–107

in transitions, 41

tunnel vision in, 109–110, 115–116

commitment

to managing power, 2

to reconditioning, 173

communication. See also interaction styles

Commanders and, 107–109, 116–117, 120–121, 161–162

Inspirers and, 139–140, 154, 161–162

with Pleasers, 57–59

strategic pauses, 181–183

competition

Charmers and, 89–90

Commanders and, 113, 125–126

Inspirers and, 162–163

conflict

avoidance of, 31–33, 48–49

Charmers and, 66–68, 89–90

Commanders and, 121, 130, 131–133

Inspirers and, 149

Pleasers and, 29–33, 48–50, 55, 58

resolution of, 29–31, 149

with self, 6–7

conformity, 14, 146

confrontation

Charmers and, 91 (see also conflict)

consensus seeking, 8

control

blind spots and, 174–176

Charmers and, 78

Commanders and, 13, 106

Cooper, Cynthia, 11, 25–26, 27–28, 29, 34

corruption, Pleasers and, 25–26, 27–28. See also ethics

costs, hidden, 183–187

creativity

Commanders and, 113, 121, 126, 130

Inspirers and, 14, 148–149, 157

criticism

Commanders and, 120, 121–122

Pleasers and, 35–36, 43–44, 47–48

decision making

Commanders and, 109–110

by Pleasers, 40

defensiveness, in Charmers, 97

denial, 34, 85

detail, attention to, 25, 158

diplomatic skills, of Pleasers, 29–31

discipline

of Charmers, 95–96

by Pleasers, 48–49, 53

Ebbers, Bernie, 34

Einstein, Albert, 190

emotion, 195–197

backlash, 174

blind spots in, 174–176

Charmer suppression of, 77, 78–81

Charmer views of, 49, 71–73, 97–98

Commanders and, 49, 104, 107–108

hidden costs of, 183–187

Pleasers and, 30–31, 40–41

Power Grid and, 7–11

empathy, 27

entrepreneurs, 103

envy

of Inspirers, 141, 152–154, 162–163

in Pleasers, 56–57

ethics

Charmers and, 68–69, 76–77

Commanders and, 113

Inspirers and, 149–150, 169–170

evaluations. See performance evaluations; self-evaluation

expectations

Charmers and, 94, 96–98

Commanders and, 121

Extraordinary Circumstances (Cooper), 27–28

family systems, 4–6. See also family systems theory

changing, 146–148

of Charmers, 73–75

of Commanders, 110–113, 130–131

ideal balance of power in, 36

of Inspirers, 137–138, 144–149

internalization of power behaviors in, 2

of Pleasers, 36–39

power gene coding in, 19–20

self-evaluation of, 16, 178–179

family systems theory, 4–6, 144–145

formal styles and, 10

professional styles and, 5–6

fear

Charmers and, 12, 73, 94, 97–98

Commanders and, 13

of failure to change, 17

on the Power Grid, 8–9

feedback

Charmers and, 71, 88

Commanders and, 119

for Inspirers, 143, 159

Ford, Henry, 98

formal styles, 10–11, 13, 14. See also Commanders; Inspirers

freedom, 142–143, 146, 148

Freud, Sigmund, 4

Gardner, Gerald, 73–74

General Systems Theory, 4

Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? (Wolf), 146–148

group dynamics, 3, 10–11

Charmers and, 86–89

Commanders and, 102–103, 106–108

definition of, 10

Inspirers and, 140

hidden costs, 183–187

hierarchy

Commanders and, 110–113

Inspirers and, 140

Pleasers and, 43–44

honesty, 193–195

hope, 139

image, Pleasers and, 49

impatience, 108–109

incentives

Charmers and, 65–66, 96

Commanders and, 121–122

Inspirers and, 140, 149–150, 160

independence, 142–143, 157

influence

of Charmers, 64–65

of Inspirers, 136–137

informal styles, 9–10, 11–12. See also Charmers; Pleasers

innovation

backlash against, 167–168

Commanders and, 121

Inspirers and, 138–139, 148–149, 160, 167–168

Inspirers, 13–14, 135–171

altruism in, 37–38

big picture view of, 143–144

blind spots of, 140–144, 175, 187

as bosses, 158–162

burnout in, 144

case studies on, 151–154, 161–162, 165–166, 169–170

charisma of, 136–137

Charmer bosses and, 86–89

as entrepreneurs, 103

family background of, 144–149

leadership by, 137–138

listening skills of, 28

mission focus of, 27

as peers, 162–166

Pleaser envy of, 56–57

politics and, 140–141

practicality and, 158, 164–165

prevalence of, 135

reconditioning for, 178–181, 182–183, 185–187

red tape and, 142–143

strengths of, 136–140

as subordinates, 166–170

in transitions, 41

tunnel vision of, 141

vision of, 138–139

instincts, 2

interaction styles

of Charmers, 12, 78–80, 84, 85

of Commanders, 13

Commanders and, 106–107

of Inspirers, 14, 139–140

of Pleasers, 11–12, 27–28

strategic pauses and, 181–183

intolerance, 107–108

intuition, in Pleasers, 27–28

iPhone, 143

It Doesn’t Take a Hero (Schwarzkopf), 107

Jack: Straight from the Gut (Welch), 102

Jobs, Steve, 143

Johnson, Bill, 69

Johnson, Roy, 108

Jolie, Angelina, 63

judgment, 10–11, 14, 197

Kennedy, John F., 98

Koepp, Stephen, 69

Laing, R. D., 144

likability, Pleasers and, 11–12

listening skills

of Charmers, 84, 86–89, 96

of Commanders, 116–117

of Inspirers, 140

of Pleasers, 28, 30–31

loyalty

of Commanders, 107

Commanders and, 131

of Pleasers, 34–35

Machiavelli, Niccoló, 64

Madoff, Bernie, 5

Mead, Margaret, 4, 135

meaning making, 13–14

mentors, 140

Minuchin, Salvador, 5, 144

modeling, 137–138, 149–150, 169–170

morality, 15. See also ethics

Mother Teresa, 26

motivation. See incentives

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, 14–15

organizational backlash, 167–168

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), 73–74

patience, 23, 108–109

Patton, George S., 119

peers

Charmers as, 89–91

Commanders as, 125–129

Inspirers as, 162–166

Pleasers as, 53–57

performance evaluations

Commanders and, 120, 124–125

Inspirers and, 160, 161–162

by Pleasers, 48–49

Pleasers and, 35–36, 43–44

perspective, 174–175, 184

Pleasers, 11–12, 25–61

authority and, 67

blind spots of, 31–36, 175, 186

as bosses, 48–53

boundary issues of, 53–54

bullies and, 32–33

career transitions and, 40–41

case studies of, 18–19, 42–44, 51–53, 56–57, 59–61

Commander bosses and, 122–125

diplomatic skills of, 29–31

family background of, 36–39

Inspirers and, 158, 165–166

intuitive abilities of, 27–28

listening skills of, 28

loyalty of, 34–35

as peers, 53–57

performance evaluations and, 35–36

political savvy of, 166

prevalence of, 26

process focus of, 68

reconditioning for, 178–181, 182–183, 185–187

self-advocacy by, 31–32

self-doubt in, 33–34

strengths of, 26–31, 41

as subordinates, 57–61

work ethic of, 28–29

pleasure seeking, 175

political savvy, Inspirers and, 140–141, 152–153, 159, 162–163, 166

power

contagiousness of, 197–198

definition of, 6

establishing imbalances in, 9

flow of in families, 4–6

reflecting on, 198–199

relationship with self and, 6–7

turning points, 185, 186, 190–191, 195–196

wielding your, 193–199

power genes. See also reconditioning

coding of, 19–20

common concerns about, 16–17

definition of, 7

influence of, 4

influence of on careers, 18–19

snap judgments about, 10–11, 14, 197

Power Grid, 4, 7–11

acting on, 173–191

blind spots and, 174–176

Charmers on, 12

getting started with, 22–23

identifying hidden costs in, 183–187

operating from multiple quadrants on, 15–16

Pleasers on, 11–12

pros and cons of, 14–16

reconditioning and, 173–191

self-reflection on, 177–181

time required for using, 16

working with, 20–22

x-axis, 9–11

y-axis, 8–9

practicality, 158, 163–164

The Prince (Machiavelli), 64

problem solving, 66

process, Charmers and, 68–69

reconditioning, 21, 173–191

case studies on, 178–181, 182–183, 185–187, 188–189

identifying hidden costs in, 183–187

power quadrant identification in, 177–181

practicing new habits in, 187–189

process for, 176–177

strategic pauses in, 181–183

reflection

Charmers and, 109

Commanders and, 109–110

identifying hidden costs through, 183–187

identifying power style with, 177–181

identifying strengths with, 176

self-, 5–6

regulatory roles, 25–26

resentment

in Commanders, 126

in Pleasers, 40–41

resilience, of Commanders, 104–105

resistance, 158, 164, 167–168

respect, 198

Charmers and, 74–75

Commanders and, 107

Inspirers and, 145

Pleasers and, 54

responsibility, Pleasers and, 29

risk taking

by Charmers, 70–71, 85

Commanders and, 126

by Inspirers, 138–139

Rogers, Carl, 4

Rowley, Coleen, 28

Satir, Virginia, 4, 144

scarcity, sense of in Pleasers, 12, 26, 29, 33–34, 36–39

Schwarzkopf, Norman, 101, 107

Scott, George C., 119

Scudder, Stevens & Clark, 3

secrecy, 9

self-advocacy, by Pleasers, 31–32, 39, 47–48

self-confidence

of Charmers, 71, 90, 95

of Commanders, 105–106, 125

of Inspirers, 135, 137

self-evaluation, 16

discomfort in, 17

time for, 16

self-sabotage, 197–198

Sinatra, Frank, 63, 67–68

Spitzer, Eliot, 5, 190

spontaneity, 14

status, Commander desire for, 102, 103, 107, 122–125

strategic pauses, 181–183

Strawberry, Darryl, 12, 63, 65–66, 70–71, 74–75

Straw: Finding My Way (Strawberry), 65–66

strengths, identifying, 176, 189

subordinates

Charmers as, 94–98

Charmers as bosses of, 84

Commanders as, 129–131

Inspirers as, 166–170

Pleasers as, 57–59

success, definitions of, 3, 109–110

succession planning, 160

systems theory. See family systems

team building, 143–144

Thatcher, Margaret, 101

Thich Nhat Hanh, 26

transitions

Charmers in, 75–77

Commanders in, 112, 113–114

Inspirers in, 149–150, 168–169

Pleasers and, 40–41

transparency, 30

trust

Charmers and, 69, 72, 74–75, 77, 91

Inspirers and, 13

Pleasers and, 11

seeking, 8, 9

self-, 198

turning points, 185, 186, 190–191, 195–196

Ungeheur, Frederick, 69

urgency, fostering, 9

The Virtues of Aging (Carter), 138

vision

of Commanders, 109–110, 115–116

of Inspirers, 138–139

Washington, George, 101

Watkins, Sherron, 28

Welch, Jack, 13, 101, 102, 105, 108, 111, 112

Wiener, Jon, 67–68

Wiesel, Elie, 26

Wolf, Anthony, 146–148

Woodman, Marion, 39

working styles

of Charmers, 69–71, 80, 94

of Inspirers, 144

of Pleasers, 28–29, 185–186

WorldCom, 11, 25–26, 27–28, 34