Chapter 9
We’re All Connected
Whatever it is that you want—a new client, a better job or career, a business of your own, more money, a wider social circle—you can’t get it alone. No one can. We need each other to achieve our goals and dreams. Howard Schultz didn’t make Starbucks into a global coffee company all by himself. Jack Welch didn’t make GE one of the most valuable companies in the history of American business sitting alone in his office. Oprah Winfrey didn’t become “Oprah” single-handedly. They all needed others to make it happen. They may get all the glory (and take all the credit), but their list of acknowledgments is no doubt deep and long.
That’s why random networking works. It always has been, and always will be, through others that we achieve our objectives and realize our hopes. That’s the power of synchronicity. You need something, and presto, it shows up in the person sitting next to you. There’s something someone else needs, and poof, there you are for him or her.
Synchronicity is the reason this book is in your hands right now. About a year ago I was sitting next to someone on a flight, a complete stranger who was deeply immersed in a spiral-bound notebook. He was reading intensely and making notes, occasionally staring up in thought, and then adding sentences and commentary to the pages. What is he working on? I wondered. A business plan? A brochure? A presentation? I didn’t want to interrupt his concentration, so I knew I would have to wait for the right moment to initiate conversation. So when he took a break from his intense focus, I seized the moment. “Wow, that looks like a pretty intense project you’re working on,” I said in an empathetic and respectful way, to show that I know what it’s like to be immersed in an intensely creative project.
Well, indeed it was. This man turned out to be an author with two cookbooks to his credit who was planning a strategy for his newest restaurant. Nothing could have been more relevant—and no one could have been more valuable—to me in that moment than an author who had connections with book publishers. I had been looking for a literary expert to represent and advise me on my book, and I wasn’t sure how to proceed.
“You could call my agent,” he said. “And tell her I suggested you get in touch. She’s one of the best—and delightful to work with,” he added. I did call her as soon as I got home, and indeed she guided, coached, and represented me.
Synchronicity emerged again months later. I was at a copy shop in midtown Manhattan and struck up a conversation with a woman who was printing what appeared to be a manuscript. “Looks like you might be writing a book,” I remarked.
“Sure am, in between waitressing and recording music,” she said.
“How exciting!” I replied. “What’s the topic, and how’s it going?” I asked.
“Well, it’s for young adults, and it’s going fine, except I just need to find an agent to help me get it published.”
Needless to say, I was delighted to provide one for her, and that random encounter gave this woman what may very well be the biggest opportunity of her lifetime, not to mention a book that may enhance the lives of hundreds of thousands of teens around the world. All this was possible because of synchronicity and the willingness to pierce the veil of autonomy and talk to a stranger.
We are far more dependent on each other than we even realize. Did you accomplish your greatest achievements by yourself? How many others contributed to or influenced your success, either directly or indirectly? Go so far as to think back to your childhood; didn’t your teachers, friends, friends’ parents, coaches, or maybe a boss or mentor help you in some way?
If you still don’t believe that you need others to achieve your goals and dreams, you won’t be inclined to reach out to them—in random encounters or otherwise. And you will sadly miss the opportunities that surround you every day. It is in most people’s natures to want to help others. It gives us a sense of purpose and of accomplishment. It just feels good. Helping each other is what makes the world go ’round.
CASE STUDY: Synchronicity turned a leisurely cigar conversation at a downtown Chicago smoking lounge into a major business deal for Andy T. and Jim N.
As Jim tells it:
Nearly a year ago, my business partner was enjoying a cigar at a downtown Chicago cigar store and smoking lounge—an ideal setting for conversation on any subject you may imagine. He began chatting with a fellow smoker, a complete stranger, sharing opinions about their favorite cigars, where they buy them, and where they smoke them. After building some rapport, the conversation eventually turned to business, and the fellow cigar smoker found my partner’s business intriguing. He suggested my partner call a colleague of his named Fred who might be very interested in learning more about our company. He gave my partner Fred’s phone number, and my partner turned it over to me for follow-up.
Not wanting to pass up a potential business opportunity, I called Fred who—as it turns out—was a senior vice president at a major supermarket chain with stores across the United States and Europe. His company would be a great target for our product. I learned about a new potential customer and was introduced to other decision makers in Fred’s organization. Had we made that connection only through the introduction by the fellow cigar smoker, it would have been a great story. However, Fred was just about to leave his position with the supermarket chain and was going to launch his own business. We worked with him on his business plan, but he was offered a senior job at another supermarket chain just as he was about to launch it. In the interim, Fred had introduced us to his business partner for the company he was going to start, who also had contacts at leading supermarkets throughout the world. As it turned out, Fred took the new job and will hopefully become a customer. But his business partner has joined forces with our company and is selling our products to customers across the country. None of this would’ve happened had it not been for the chance encounter that my partner had with a fellow cigar smoker on the North Shore of Chicago. You just never know who will be on the other end of that first handshake with a stranger and where it will lead.