Chapter 7
The Humble Leader
More and more leadership experts are beginning to recognize the extremely important role that humility plays in effective leadership. Humble leaders are able to recognize their mistakes, learn from others, give credit where credit is due, maintain their composure, and keep their personal egos in check. We’ll elaborate on the value of the Humble leader in Chapter 15, but in this chapter we want to dig beneath the surface to understand what makes this style of leader tick. More specifically, we want to help Humble leaders understand some of the less-than-obvious psychological mechanisms that can hold them back.
If you’re a Humble leader, you probably have a bit of a cautious side. You’re self-controlled, and people see you as fairly soft-spoken. Underneath this steady exterior there are deeper motivations, needs, and assumptions that drive you to act the way you do. The more you understand these drivers, the more you’ll be able to consciously control and shape your leadership style.
Based on our research and experience talking to Humble leaders, the qualities listed below have a significant impact on how you lead.
A desire to avoid trouble
A fear of rocking the boat
A quality of self-restraint
A lower level of self-serving ambition
A desire to be inconspicuous
In many respects, these qualities may lead to some of your greatest strengths as a leader. As we go through these qualities, however, we’ll be paying a little more attention to how they might limit your effectiveness. While you might not identify with all of these qualities, our experience has shown that a number of them probably describe you better than you may initially think.
A Desire to Be Reliable
Whereas leaders on the northern side of the model tend to be adventurous, leaders on the southern side want to be seen as steady and reliable. We’re willing to bet that you’re very conscientious about getting things right the first time, and this is because you don’t want to let people down or cause any trouble. Because you don’t want to make mistakes that might affect others, you can be prone to inaction. Your responsibility as a leader weighs so heavily on you that you want to plan as thoroughly as possible. You’re grateful for the trust that people have in you, and you want to live up to their expectations.
Your desire to be seen as reliable plays a large role in your focus on quality. You like to see things through to closure, and you tend to use established methods that help you execute tasks with precision. If something seems foggy to you, you ask clarifying questions and pursue additional information. Your goal is to have a thorough understanding of each piece of the puzzle. This ensures that you can self-sufficiently control the outcome of your work. There’s a certain satisfaction in completing a task to perfection, and wrapping things up in a neat package is gratifying in and of itself. When everything is “just so,” you probably feel quite satisfied. Unfortunately, as a leader, focusing too much on closure can also be somewhat of a hindrance in that you may not keep an open mind about trying new methods.
A Desire to Avoid Trouble
One of the main reasons that Humble leaders tend to be big planners is that they want to avoid trouble. Security and stability are high priorities for leaders with your style. Compared to other people, you are much more likely to tolerate a lack of variety. Most of the time, you’d choose to perform tasks that are a little dull over throwing yourself into a chaotic situation. “Safe” settings give you freedom from doubt, anxiety, and unpleasant interpersonal exchanges.
Since you prefer to work in a steady, secure environment, you’re probably aware of anything and everything that could go wrong. This means that when presented with a risky situation, you’re much more likely to see the potential negative consequences than the positive possibilities. Consider the line that people always say in movies when someone is afraid of heights: “Don’t look down.” Sometimes, when people see the danger, they become paralyzed with fear. Humble leaders don’t just look down—they look down, up, left, right, inside, and outside. They want to know exactly how much danger they’re up against, and it may stall any forward movement.
Humble leaders don’t necessarily trust their intuition when making decisions. Before they feel comfortable moving head, they have to work through all of the known facts and build their decisions with their own logic. At times, they take chances, but only once they have a thorough understanding of the risks. If they’re not sure, they delay the gamble to buy themselves more time for research. They want to know more about exactly what type of trouble they may be up against.
A Fear of Rocking the Boat
Because Humble leaders crave consistency, they often try to provide it for others. Given the choice between living in harmony and fighting for what they believe, they are more apt to choose harmony, even if it kills them on the inside. You see, Humble leaders don’t want to be the cause of trouble, and they have a strong drive to be free of blame. You may often worry about undefined, nonspecific mistakes that you might have made—even if you can’t put a finger on anything specific. You may run through scenarios in your head, checking to make sure that you haven’t forgotten something, stepped on someone’s toes, or inadvertently botched a task. Because all of this worrying is—well, a lot of worrying—you may find that following as many rules as possible helps you to feel like you’re minimizing the harm you could be causing.
People with your Humble approach respect rules, both written and self-imposed. On the one hand, showing respect for rules is noble. On the other, rules can also be barriers to positive change. As they say, some rules are made to be broken. Leaders with your approach tend to take comfort in the existence of rules. They provide safety and security. Humble leaders have an unconscious tendency to expand rules to cover areas that they weren’t originally intended to cover. At times, you may latch onto assumptions that you see as absolute, when in reality, things may change, and the restrictions may be only in your mind. Leaders with more adventurous approaches challenge assumptions, often seeing something valuable beyond the rules. If they want it bad enough, they find a way to work around the rules to make it happen. It simply may not occur to you to work around the rules.
In our research, three out of five people wanted their Humble leaders to do more to stretch the boundaries. Why is this? Well, if leaders don’t see things in a new light—don’t wonder what could be—their groups aren’t likely to evolve. There are some people who no doubt share your preference for peace over stimulation, but there are many more who want to push toward new opportunities. You have some tendencies that lead you to put unnecessary restrictions on yourself, and this can keep you from finding new opportunities and stretching the boundaries.
A Quality of Self-Restraint
Humble leaders are very cautious about expressing their feelings. Although they generally trust other people, they’re slow to open up. The idea of expressing their feelings and dreams to another person seems silly or ridiculous, and this may stem from a lack of confidence in the validity of their own inner experience. This is especially true in a work setting, whereas they may be more comfortable sharing their feelings in personal relationships where trust is high. Because Humble leaders filter their thoughts before speaking, it’s very rare for them to have emotional outbursts; in fact, they may try to mute the internal experience of emotion. As a consequence, they aren’t as likely to be moved by their passions—to get so excited about ideas that they distort reality in favor of their goals. Because they’re so grounded and realistic, it can be difficult for Humble leaders to immerse themselves wholeheartedly into an endeavor.
People may not often see your passion, and they also may not see your stress. At times, you may be under a considerable amount of stress, but who would know? You’re more likely to ruminate on problems. In fact, it may not even occur to you to express your concerns. It may seem more natural to rely on your own problem-solving abilities. This isn’t so much out of pride as it is simply not seeing the purpose of pulling other people into your problems. So, whether you’re excited about a new idea, stressed out about a problem, or feeling frustrated, you’re likely to keep a pretty even keel. You may not invite others into your emotional landscape, and sometimes this can be interpreted as lacking passion.
Our research has found that the second-highest leadership behavior that Humble leaders are asked to demonstrate more often is “rallying people to achieve goals.” You probably do a good job of getting people the resources they need, making sure that polices are in place to get things done, and disseminating information. In a one-on-one context, you may even tend to people’s emotional needs by lending a genuine, empathetic ear. But, if you’re like most Humble leaders, you may have a much more laissez-faire attitude toward the motivational aspects of leadership. At the heart of this, you may simply doubt your own ability to be a charismatic leader—the kind of person who’s good at rallying the troops.
A Lower Level of Self-Serving Ambition
The primary goal of Humble leaders is security, not expansion or control over others. In an ideal world, they work in a comfortable environment where the challenges are just right, but where they ultimately have control over most variables and—perhaps more importantly—they at least understand all of the variables. Since their self-esteem isn’t based on being superior, they don’t typically set grand goals of accomplishment and power. They’re willing to let others take the lead without their pride getting in the way. Humble leaders don’t want to presume that they’re more powerful than anyone else, and this can restrict their action.
As we’ve discussed, Humble leaders don’t want to invite problems, and this makes them more reactive than proactive. While they certainly do react to problems, they are seldom proactive about initiating new opportunities—that’s opening a whole new can of (probably messy) worms. If things slow down and you find yourself with some free time, you probably like to straighten up any issues that have been lingering, but you’re less likely to muster the internal energy needed to try out a radical new idea. Leaders with your approach both benefit from and suffer from inertia. That is, when you’re already in motion, you continue to move steadily along on that path, and this can make you a fantastic contributor. But, when you’re at (relative) rest, you may wait for others to initiate change. Regardless of your position in an organization, you may feel that someone above you must really be in charge.
A Desire to Be Inconspicuous
OK, we’re going to risk getting a little psychoanalytical here in this last section. The issues discussed may seem a little far-fetched at first, but bear with us. In our work with Humble leaders, we’ve seen a pattern—an unspoken philosophy, probably developed in their youth, that says, “actively engaging in life usually presents more danger than potential.” And as a result, many of these leaders harbor a well-hidden, subconscious desire to make themselves inconspicuous—to make themselves small. By being small, they protect themselves from exposure, from the possibility that people will be angry or disappointed with them. There is safety is smallness. The weight of responsibility and pressure is lifted. Being small is the ultimate form of security, and this is a primary goal of Humble leaders. By being unassuming, you can tuck yourself away from the world and its expectations, and more importantly, away from the possibility of failure. Leaders whose styles fall on the northern side of the model have a much higher need to feel important. You’re more interested in being free from blame.
While other people often overplay their own rights and opinions, Humble leaders are more likely to underplay them. Humble leaders try to see things fairly, attempting to take their egos out of the equation, and often giving other people the benefit of the doubt. Because you’re quick to see the reasonableness of other people’s points of view, you often don’t push as strongly for your own needs. If someone else promotes an idea with force, you’re inclined to say, “Yeah, I can see that, too.” Unfortunately, this agreeableness often means that you don’t present your ideas with much energy. While this may be ideal in a fair world, you’re essentially giving others a competitive advantage.
How to Navigate the Rest of the Book
You’ve had a chance to read about some of the psychological drivers that may hold you back as a leader, but what about the good stuff? What about the areas where you naturally excel? Chapter 15 in Part 3 is designed to highlight exactly that: the assets that Humble leaders bring to the table. There you’ll find the three lessons that everyone else can learn from leaders like you.
But, of course, other leaders have things to teach you as well. Looking at the model, you may have noticed that the Humble Dimension is opposite the Pioneering Dimension. Chances are that you may need to focus on this dimension, but depending on your individual situation, there may be others that are more important. Next, go to Part 3, where you’ll explore the lessons that are most important for you right now.